What will you think of me?
I’m sure you’ve thought that to yourself a thousand times, right? Well, me too. Honestly, I think most people have, and for those of who perhaps might have thought it into the tens of thousands of times, or perhaps even millions of times to ourselves, well, we are simply manifesting the byproduct of perfectionistic thinking.
If you caught this week’s Confidence on the Go episode #175, “Perfectionism Be Gone,” then you’ll know from Brené Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, that “Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?” Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?”
In the same book, Brown further explains how perfectionism roots itself in soil of deep-seated unhappiness, writing, “Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”
I’m a recovering perfectionist. I went into recovery because I was tired of the pressure I put on myself, the avoidance of my feelings and the blanket of unhappiness all the effort to be perfect put on my heart. I was tired of chasing a moving finish line of worth. Now that I’m in recovery, so to speak, some days I feel more free than others, but nonetheless, I am still in recovery and am pleased to have the challenge that reframing my mindset gives me. The idea of being able to turn off that voice, the one that says “what will they think of me,” or “what will you think of me,” is delightful. More than that, it’s an extraordinary way to live. Living in such a way allows you to feel confidence and at peace simply being you – being who God created you to be.
It’s time for you to stop caring what other people think and instead start caring about being the best version of who God created you to be. For more free coaching and insight on how to do just that, catch the podcast episode at www.trishblackwell.com/175
PS: Here’s to being free from caring about what other people think! Listen and embrace this as a new mindset of confidence in your life: www.trishblackwell.com/175