My toes have gone into hiding. And I don’t mean that I’ve put my flip-flops away for the winter, because I haven’t. For the first time in my life I can’t see my toes from a standing position looking down. Little Eleanor Lucia Synan, or Ellie as we are going to call her once she’s born, is certainly on a growth spurt and getting in the way of my regular line of vision.
Now that I’m 30 weeks into my pregnancy, I feel qualified to offer my former pre-pregnancy self some hindsight wisdom. Being pregnant has taught me some significant things that are universal and worth being shared, whether you’re pregnant or not:
Lesson #1:
Movement – yes, even the dull and basic movements of everyday life – is something to be celebrated.
I don’t mean to be dramatic, because, to be honest, I’ve had an incredibly easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, no real crazy cravings and no major physical ailments and pains, at least not yet. But being pregnant, no matter how fit, healthy and active you are, still has its limitations. Ellie is in my way now when I bend over. Sometimes I can’t sit upwards in a direct movement from a leaned back position on the couch – to get up I have to roll to my side and do a switch maneuver. The thought of doing crunches or any other abdominal exercise sounds unbearably uncomfortable and my heart rate likes to elevate itself to heightened levels at even the most basic attempt of exercise.
I have stayed consistent with my workouts, but keeping my heart rate under the prescribed 140 beats per minute has been a challenge. My average weekly total of run mileage is still at 40 miles per week – but it takes me approximately 40-60 minutes total per week more time to accomplish that distance than it did in my pre-pregnancy body. Ellie loves to bounce on my bladder like a trampoline when I am running. On any uphill jaunts she swiftly punches my lower right abdomen, letting me know that I should walk the uphill. When I’m locked into a nice pace on the treadmill, she swirls around and it’s as if my stomach is gurgling, but I can tell that she likes it because it’s when she’s the most active inside of me. I’ve also maintained a consistent schedule with my resistance training – less out of a desire to lift and more out of an attempt to maintain some lean muscle mass so that I can maintain my metabolism – and my options of those movements has become limited as well. My lifts are no longer performed as high intensity interval training (which makes them boring to me), and are more even keel and maintenance based. I choose exercises to keep my lower back supported and have kept my rep range between 12-15 and exertion effort at about 80%. Below is a weekly breakout of my running mileage and lifting exploits:
Week One:
45 miles + 1 lifting session
Week Two:
40 miles + 1 lifting session
Week Three:
Marathon + 20 training miles
Week Four:
25 miles + 2 elliptical workouts + 1 swim workout + 2 lifting sessions
Week Five:
28 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 1 swim workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Six:
33 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Seven:
28 miles + 2 elliptical workouts + 3 lifting sessions (injured and tight hip)
Week Eight:
28 miles + 2 elliptical workouts + 3 lifting sessions (injured and tight hip)
Week Nine:
33 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 1 stair climbing workout
Week Ten:
28 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 1 stair climbing workout + 2 lifting sessions
Week Eleven:
39 miles + 2 lifting sessions
Week Twelve:
34 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 2 lifting sessions
Week Thirteen:
38 miles + 1 stair climbing workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Fourteen:
42 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Fifteen:
42 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Sixteen:
41 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Seventeen:
45 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Eighteen:
43 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Nineteen:
47 miles + 2 lifting sessions
Week Twenty:
35 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Twenty-One:
40 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Twenty-Two:
40 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Twenty-Three:
40 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Twenty-Four:
30 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Twenty-Five:
40 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Week Twenty-Six:
25 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 2 lifting sessions – > sick week
Week Twenty-Seven:
30 miles + 2 elliptical workouts + 3 lifting sessions -> sick week
Week Twenty-Eight:
30 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 3 lifting sessions
Week Twenty-Nine:
40 miles + 1 elliptical workout + 2 lifting sessions
Week Thirty:
40 miles + 3 lifting sessions
Even though my movements are becoming more and more limited, I am learning to appreciate the beauty of movement more and more every day. Movement is the physical dance in life that our bodies get to express in seemingly minute, almost unnoticeable, yet still incredibly beautiful ways. Movement makes our physiology, and thereby our psychology, come alive. It allows us to feel connected, invigorated and alive.
Lesson #2:
The human body is a marvelous, mysterious and miraculous machine.
Yesterday I experienced my first spout of Braxton Hicks contraptions. It turns out that no matter how much you have read on what to expect when expecting, you are always surprised and taken aback when what you have been expecting starts happening. In shock with what I thought was just really painful gas, I instantly imagined myself having to deal with the continued discomfort for the next ten weeks, until birth. When my body is doing something mysteriously new, my mind struggles to process it and interprets it as a new state of being. Thankfully, the pain wasn’t a new state that I have to be in – and it all passed within an hour’s time.
In the mornings I wake up with a lopsided belly. It looks like a half-melted bell. Apparently Ellie favors the left side of my tummy, and presumably sticks her little butt up and around, giving my left side a favorable height advantage to my right side. And while this is probably only noticeable to me, it is yet another mysterious norm of pregnancy that no one had told me about.
Furthermore, as my belly stretches out more and more every day, I am in amazement of the human body and its adaptability. Not only do I admire the miracle of the body preparing space for a baby’s growth, but as I see and feel myself grow, I often think of the billions of women in human history who have given birth and whose bodies have returned to their normal, pre-pregnancy state. The body’s ability to stretch and retract is utterly fascinating and miraculous. It is a solid reminder to never underestimate the potential and capacity of the human body to do amazing things.
Lesson #3:
Life is not all about me.
This is something I have known and been taught my whole life, but it’s one of those simple truths that we could all stand to hear repeated each and every day of our lives. Being pregnant is a daily reminder of this. It’s hard not to remember that life is not all about you when you are front-loaded with a stomach that is carrying a life other than your own. Right now everything I do has the potential to affect little Ellie. Right now I am living out the unique experience of not being just “me,” but being a “we.” Where I go, Ellie goes. The nutrition I get, Ellie gets. The space I take up is the space that Ellie takes us with me.
Being a first time mother, the added unknown of motherhood is something I carry with me right alongside the extra pounds that Ellie has added to my body. I aspire to be an excellent mother, but being so isn’t about anything for me, but rather about what I can be for Ellie. What a wonderful reminder to us all that life isn’t about us, but rather it’s about what we can contribute to those around us.
I don’t love being pregnant, but I don’t not love it either. I’m anxious for the next ten weeks of life to pass, as I cannot wait to meet Ellie and welcome her to this world. There are parts of my pre-pregnant life that I miss – caffeine, wine, hard workouts, surfing, snowboarding, roller coasters, sushi, soft cheeses, hot tubs – but there are things that pregnancy has taught me about life that I would not have otherwise been able to learn without being pregnant. The greatest truth that pregnancy has echoed into my heart with resounding waves is the fact of just how beautiful life is. Being pregnant allows you to feel tangibly connected to the beauty of your own life and body as well as to the beauty of the life and body that is growing inside of you, and that is a miraculous thing of beauty at which my soul marvels.