My dad used to hunt the boogie monster; every night he would check under my bed, triple check the locks on the windows and scare him out from within the depths of my dark closet. My dad did this every night, no matter how good or bad I had been that day, because that’s what parents do. Parents see us as a whole and love us because we are a accumulation of so many things. I’m sure that my childhood days were speckled with temper tantrums, tears, selfishness, and mean ways in which I was able to blame my older brother for my own disobedience. But those weren’t the things that my dad would remember at the end of the day, for I could do no wrong as his little girl. At the end of the day he saw me for my moments of laughter, my make belief sessions as Rapunzel, and my innocent happiness. He and my mother showered me with love and compassion for they loved and saw me as a whole.
So too do we need to see ourselves at the end of the day. It is not until we have self-compassion for ourselves and our own flaws that we can never truly have compassion for someone else. See yourself for yourself as a complete person. Stop defining yourself by what you determine to be your flaws and start redefining your days and your life based upon the wholeness of who you really are. Look at yourself as a whole and have self-compassion. Have compassion upon your body, upon the way you look at yourself in the mirror, and at yourself for your moments of impatience or selfishness. Forgive yourself and see yourself with kind eyes — the kind of eyes that parents see their children with — and in turn you will shower the world around you with much needed compassion.