I want you to be an addict. Yes, you read that correctly. An addict, to learning that is. I want you to be addicted to learning, because learning is the most important component to real self confidence. We over-theorize confidence and happiness, when, really, it can be boiled down to something much more simple: a desire to learn and grow continually. Or, in other words, an addict to learning with an open and flexible mind. When you are addicted to learning, you become naturally addicted to growing in confidence, and when you grow in your internal self-confidence, life begins to blossom before your eyes.
There’s something beautifully freeing about this approach to life and confidence. It means that there’s no finish line, which means that there’s no pressure, which means that you can just be you. You can just live in the moment and in the day, and, as long as you are leaning into learning (whether it’s learning about yourself, learning about life, or learning about something that peaks your curiosity), then you are living well, my friend. It is when we know that we are living well that we find the capacity to live in the present, and when we live in the present, we taste the sweetness of happiness.
I have always loved learning, but I learned that learning itself made me fall in love with life in a way I never could have expected. I met my husband on a blind date. I still remember opening the heavy mahogany doors of the establishment and walking through the long, narrow restaurant, scanning side to side for someone who might be waiting for someone. I had been on blind dates before, but this one already felt different. My heart was beating and, though something felt different, I didn’t know what to expect. Tucked away towards the back, at nearly the last booth I saw him for the first time. Dark and handsome, he was well-dressed and smiled welcomingly. I don’t remember how the conversation started off or if it was awkward at moments, but I do remember that I never wanted to stop talking to him. We almost didn’t stopped either, expect that after seven hours of chatting the bar was closing for the night and they kicked us out. I couldn’t pinpoint what made our chemistry so magnetic. I knew he loved to learn and I did too and something about that made him feel safe. He was a reader. I was a reader. He was passionate about learning more about the world. I craved travel and culture. He was interested in what it takes to be a great man. I was in the process of studying the greatest women leaders of the world and attempting to emulate their examples. I was starting to fall in love with someone I didn’t even know. He was easy on the eyes, but it was his mind that won me over. Now 7 years later our love has grown stronger because of our mutual desire to always be learning – learning more about God, learning more about life, learning more about ourselves, learning more about love, learning more about one another, learning more about how we can grow, learning more about parenting … you name it, we have a lot to learn, and we thirst together for it. The thirsting keeps us curious, it keeps us in the present and it fills our minds with confidence that we have indeed lived the day we were given well.
God created our minds to thirst for knowledge. It’s in you, it’s in me, it’s in us. When we open our minds to the addiction of learning we are opening our hearts to the full potential God has breathed into us. Said differently, a commitment to learning creates a commitment to becoming our true selves as it opens us up. The more true we are to who God created us to be the more dialed into the essence of confidence that comes when we rest in being His child, free from comparison or criticism. We all want confidence, but the beautiful thing is that we already have it accessible within us. God put it in us. Too often we believe the lie that we need to have a certain level of success to feel confident, or to earn or achieve something to feel confident, but when you go down that path it’s a finish line that never ends. Real confidence, real self confidence, starts with a desire to grow. If you have a desire, an internal desire to grow, then my friend, you have all the confidence you need and it will continue to grow day by day.
For the video summary of this blog, check out this video from one of my recent Facebook Live #twominuteswithtrish segments…I’d love to “see you” face to face anyways, so come ‘on over to the video >>> https://www.facebook.com/trishblackwellfitness/videos/1124487157651941/
It’s normal to struggle with overthinking and perfectionistic tendencies. Both are simply bad mental habits that we’ve trained our minds to think over the years. Rewriting our thought patterns for better thinking habits takes time, so be kind to yourself in the process. The mere fact that you are reading a post like this confirms that you are person open to a growth mindset. If you have a growth mindset that means that you have a learning mindset; if you have a learning mindset, that means that you have the tools of self-confidence that you will need along the way to keep becoming the best version of you possible. Self confidence is a desire for growth. It’s the vision to know that you’re not stuck where you are but that you’re this continually blooming, continually growing, a continually learning human being, adaptable and capable of change. When you know that, the world is at your disposal. You can literally do anything. You are not stuck in the past. Who you were and who you have been has grown and prepared you to be and become who you are now. Your past does not define it unless you choose to let it. If you embrace your past with grace and with growth, then it will refine you. Your lessons, your failures, your pain points, your sufferings and your struggles can all become strengths when pressed through the filter lens of learning.
What I love the most about learning as a leveraging point for self confidence is that it removes all pressure for performance or people-pleasing from the table. There’s no pressure because none is needed when perfectionism isn’t expected – and how can perfection be expected when you are merely in the process of growth and learning? Learning lets you be free to just be. It lets you absorb and venture out without judgment. It fills your soul with a connection to the world around you that lights a fire within you, very much how I felt when I first met my husband. Open possibilities, no pressure and life-changing potential.
I need you to know something important. Even when you become addicted to learning you are still going to have some self doubt. Self doubt is a voice in everyone’s mind … but that doesn’t mean that you have to listen to it. As long as you lead with learning, you will have the openness and mental flexibly to “turn down the sound” of the doubt that plays in your mind. Doubt ignites fear of failure, but when you know that everything is an opportunity to learn, you then know that failure is nothing to fear and actually something you can grow from. Suddenly, as a result, doubt has no power in its voice over you. Learning and love go hand and hand. Love and confidence do too. Don’t be surprised at where the pursuit of learning leads you … whether to a deeper love for life, an unshakeable connection with someone in life, or a vibrant version of the best you possible … an openness to learning is the path that will take you where you need to go with confidence. You have deep confidence within you and the more you lean into learning, the more you will awaken the blossoming brightness that is within.
Your learning-addicted friend,
PS > For the simplest way to take your self-confidence to the next level, surround yourself with learners and come join us in The College of Confidence at www.trishblackwell.com/college . In The College of Confidence I will be your personal coach and mentor, providing you with the challenges and support you need each week to go achieve your dreams to the fullest. At just the cost of $1.50-ish per day, this community can change your life and career in some deep, really profound ways and I can’t wait to see where it takes you.
PPS > Again, for a quicker summary of this post, just catch the replay of the Facebook Live I did on this at this link >>> https://www.facebook.com/trishblackwellfitness/videos/1124487157651941/ or right below: