The thoughts we train ourselves to subconsciously engage in either promote our natural state of happiness or detract from it. I have always had a natural sunny disposition, but it took me until I was in my mid-twenties to really learn the art of happy thinking. You see, I was always happy on the outside, but I was often plagued with anxiety and self-doubt on the inside. I leaned heavily on the habit of perfectionism to create barriers to protect me from ever being vulnerable or truly known, and in turn my happiness became dangerously tied to achievements and the opinions of others. I looked confident and naturally happy, but it took a lot of work to maintain the facade. Eventually, after a sequence of painful events – emotional abuse, a broken off engagement, depression from a broken heart, massive debt, and a violent sexual assault – the happy image I had worked so hard to create crumbled into dust, leaving me broken, sad and insecure.
I lived in a state of fogginess for almost a year. I stayed busy with work and I distracted myself with the wrong influences. I did everything I could to just survive, and that in and of itself felt exhausting and often unmanageable. One day, at a conference, a light bulb went off in my heart. A speaker had reminded me that life is about more than just surviving – it is about thriving, and that when we choose to thrive, we shine our happiness into realms of darkness where light is needed. Familiar with darkness and how desperately I needed light myself, I was inspired to make a change and to remember what I used to believe as a kid: that I could do anything I set my mind to. At that point, I needed to set my mind to believe in happiness again, and so I did.
Years after this metaphorical fork-in-the-road, in my subsequent experience as a professional Confidence Coach I have come to believe that confidence and happiness are pack members – where one goes, the other follows. In that sentiment, the more we boost our connection to happiness through our thoughts, the more connected we will feel in general to the world around us. The more connected we are to the great world, the more we will feel at home and like we have a place and purpose that matters, subsequently elevating our confidence. The more confident we feel in general about ourselves, our value, our voice and our ability to matter, the more courage we will naturally summon within ourselves to pursue a life of contribution, which then inherently increases our initial state of happiness and satisfaction. A well-trained mind flourishes not only in moments of happiness, but in a sustained state of it. Firsthand I have experienced a causality dilemma between increased happiness and increased confidence, not being sure which one boosted which one first, so in an effort to help you boost whichever one you are more focused on, we will address both at the same time.
8 HAPPINESS THOUGHTS TO THINK DAILY FOR RIDICULOUS CONFIDENCE:
Happiness Thought #1:
I choose happiness today – for myself and for the light that will shine from me to light the path for others.
Happiness is a daily choice, as is confidence, and when you wake up with the mindset reminder that your happiness is in your own control, then you are more apt to successfully walk through the rest of your day with full confidence and joy. Additionally, by fueling yourself with a desire to contribute positively to the lives of others, you are multiplying your own personal happiness drive as you do.
Happiness Thought #2:
Happiness begins when we find freedom from the opinions of others.
The thief of happiness is fear, and when we live with too much focus on what others may or may not think, we live in fear. Finding freedom from the opinions of others gives you freedom to be fully yourself, and when you are yourself, you are able to more naturally find inner happiness and peace.
Happiness Thought #3:
The secret of happiness is that it is not a destination, it is a choice.
When you embody the truth of this happiness thought, you are able to be more patient and at peace in the present moment, resisting the temptation to over focus on the future and on what is to come. It is when we can live in the present that we can really learn to experience happiness. Too often people convince themselves that happiness and confidence will be available to them “when” something happens in the future or “when” they improve something about their lives or themselves, and as a result they end up delaying happiness because happiness becomes a destination that never arrives. Instead of being a destination, happiness is a daily opportunity and a choice of perspective one can take on, no matter the circumstance.
Happiness Thought #4:
Happy people make the most beautiful people and experience the most beautiful lives.
It’s not what is on the outside that makes you beautiful, it is your inner beauty that shines from within that makes your outer beauty magnetic and powerful. The more beautiful you feel, the more confident you will act … both resulting from happiness thoughts that you have chosen to think about yourself and about life. Happy people are the most beautiful, and they also experience the most beautiful lives.
Happiness Thought #5:
When we engage in comparison, we rob ourselves of our own happiness.
Comparing yourself to others only opens you up to insecurity and distraction; comparison is the thief of joy. When you are determined to live your life with as much confidence and happiness as possible, then you will be on a mission to catch and replace every comparison thought and temptation that enters your mind.
Happiness Thought #6:
The more we learn to be ourselves, the more authentically and deeply we will experience happiness.
It is impossible to be authentic without first knowing who you are being authentic to. The more time you spend getting to know yourself and understand the whisperings of your own heart, the more rooted you will be in feeling like you know how to be yourself, and, as you act on being yourself, you experience great congruency and happiness in the process.
Happiness Thought #7:
A happy heart is a heart that is well-fed and well-honored; speak kindly and powerfully to yourself, for your heart hears and responds accordingly.
The more you surround yourself with positivity and with growth-oriented resources, the more you will fill your heart with joy. A heart that is in growth is a heart that feels alive, and a heart that is alive is a heart that is happy. Focus on saturating your mind and your life with truth and take advantage of the power of repetition and meditation upon the things you wish to truly master.
Happiness Thought #8:
Movement stirs up happiness – our bodies are literally vehicles of joy if we allow them to be.
One of the greatest tools we have at our disposal that can leverage us to a new level of happiness is our body. We are only given one body – it is our body for life – and the better care you take of it (through movement, good nutrition, rest and self-care), the better we will feel overall. Movement doesn’t just help us continue to function and move well into the future, it actually releases positive endorphins and naturally elevates our mood level, literally helping us to be happier and feel happier.
The bottom line to ridiculous confidence is this: the more you invest in your natural positive state by working through the above-mentioned happiness thoughts, the more confident and happy you will feel. Subsequently, the happier and more confident you feel, the happier and more confident you will feel, and both feelings will mutually grow and build off one another. Wherever you stand in your personal state of happiness or confidence right now, there’s no better time than now to grow both of them. Happy people are confident people, and the more confident you are, the more courageous you will be. The more courageous you are, the more your life will unfold before you, empowering you to live your dream life and to contribute to this world around you in the way you were created to do.
Onward, my loves!
PS > If you are really committed to increasing your happiness, confidence and courage in life so that you can contribute in a powerful way to your family and to the world around you, then I would personally like to invite you to join our exclusive coaching community, The College of Confidence. The College of Confidence is an online community with personal coaching and cheering from me as your Confidence Coach where together we cultivate crazy levels of confidence, courage, contribution and community. Come increase your natural state of happiness thoughts and your confidence (whether you want more confidence for your personal life or for your professional life, there’s a place in The College for you) >>> www.trishblackwell.com/college