I have a twist on the old game of truth-or-dare for you. The twist is that by taking on this dare, you will actually be able to walk away knowing more truth about yourself than you knew before you started. This is a truth-or-dare that allows you to have both the truth and the dare, not just either or.
The dare is a challenge. It is a dare not to compare. At the end of the dare you will know more intimately the following truths:
That you are beautiful
That you are valuable for who you are, not for what you do
That you are more than good enough
That you are unique and there is no one else like you
That you have permission to stop measuring your worth against others
That you have a story to live that only you can live out
That you have passions, dreams and interests for a reason and that you must pursue them
That you have the ability every day to live with joy and confidence
That you are exactly who you need to be
As you consider the above list, much of it is probably not new information to you. What I am proposing however in my dare to you is that there is knowledge you know in your mind that you don’t yet know or really believe to be true in your heart. You know that comparing yourself to others is toxic to your soul, yet in your heart you haven’t yet arrived at a place where you can find freedom from this nasty mental habit. As Teddy Roosevelt famously said, “comparison is the thief of joy,” and without a doubt, it is. Anytime we engage in self-comparing thoughts, we are literally opening our hearts to be robbed of life. Comparison always dulls our experience of life and it always leaves us feeling anxious, less than and not enough.
There is a different way to live – and it is possible to train your thoughts to fight the temptation of comparison; the first step to overcoming comparison is to take the Dare to Not Compare challenge.
Here are the details of the Dare to Not Compare challenge:
{the challenge}
Dare not to compare yourself in any way to anyone else for a 48-hour period of time. Take every thought of comparison captive and consciously imagine yourself throwing that thought out of your brain.
{explanation of purpose}
Please know that during this challenge, because you’ve already trained your brain for years and potentially decades, to engage in comparison, it is only natural for thoughts of comparison to pop into your head. The purpose of this challenge is not to completely prevent the thoughts of comparison that enter your mind, but instead to proactively and consciously eliminate them with intentional thinking. It will be natural for your thoughts to go to their comfort place – to comparing – instead of allowing yourself to dwell in those thoughts and to entertain them, look through the thoughts instead of at them. There is power in this exercise in the mental awakening it will give you as you reclaim possession as the proprietor of your thoughts. You are in charge of what you think and this dare to not compare will strengthen your skill as manager of your mind.
{how to take your comparison thoughts and see them differently}
When we look through a thought, the thought becomes like a cloud floating through the sky. It is a cloud that moves. One of the most amazing things about the human brain is that we have control over these metaphorical clouds that float over the mental space of our minds. What we put into our minds directly affects the state and wellbeing of our hearts, and when our hearts and minds are integrated, they determine our ability to live, engage in and enjoy life. During this challenge, look at your thoughts like clouds that are moving. Push the ones that shadow your joy away from you and look with intention for clear skies.
SO WHY DO WE COMPARE OURSELVES SO MUCH?
As you undertake the dare to not compare challenge, it is important for you to understand exactly why comparing ourselves to others feels so natural in the first place. I believe that we engage in comparison because we are approaching life from a fundamentally flawed viewpoint: that we are in competition with others and that we must use them to measure and evaluate ourselves. Our connection to the cult of comparison is fed by our belief that our value is based on what we do, not who we are.
Our lives are inundated with messages of comparison from media and society, messages that have taught us how to measure our worth and value against that of others. Comparison is the by-product of criticism and self-judgment. Desperate to know we are enough, we judge ourselves and assess our value based off of how we see others are doing. Sometimes this leaves us feeling less than, other times we feel elevated and more than. Either outcome is dangerous and results in toxicity – joy that becomes corroded – in our hearts.
Dare not to compare, literally for just 48-hours, and you will walk away with life-giving and life-changing truth about who you really are. It’s the best rendition of true-or-dare you could ever play.
Confidently yours,
Trish
PS: Seriously, take the challenge.
PPS: If you haven’t already, make sure you listen to my recent podcast on how to overcome comparison (www.trishblackwell.com/128) in which I share three detailed strategies on how to overcome comparison in your day-to-day thoughts.
PPPS: After you take the challenge and you are ready for even more ways to really know the life-giving truth about who you are and how you can really live this life to the fullest, then jump on over and start working with me in with my seven-day Emerge Experience.