Confidence seems like an elusive dream to many, but it’s not a dream…it can be your reality if you choose to put on an attitude of confidence. You see, we are all born confident. Somewhere along the way though our spirits were crushed, our hopes destroyed, and we believed the lie that we aren’t good enough or that we will never measure up. We discovered that there were people prettier, skinnier, richer, funnier, more successful and smarter than us, and as a result, we built walls of mediocrity to protect our hearts from disappointment.
It doesn’t have to be like that. Believe me, I know firsthand.
Confidence, like many other skills, takes time to develop and hone. Experts agree that true mastery of a skill or discipline takes 10,000 hours, and the same is true for confidence development. Developing confidence takes time, but more than that, it takes decisive effort. If you want to be confident and free to be who you were really meant to be, you must make a decision today to train your mind. You are in training. You are either working towards your 10,000 hours of mastery, or you’re not.
To make sure that you are moving your needle in the right direction, you better not be making any of the following mistakes that are surefire ways to kill your confidence:
1. Compare yourself to others.
Comparing leads to self-criticism, leaving one feeling insufficient. Anytime you compare yourself to others, you are insulting your own unique qualities. Anytime you imitate someone else, you are cheapening your own individuality, cheapening your confidence alongside it.
2. Eat once or twice a day.
Under-eating is destructive for many reasons, mostly because it destroys your metabolism, causing you to feel sluggish, out of sorts and even to weight gain. On top of that, food is fuel, and if you aren’t spreading your fuel out throughout the day, then your energy levels and subsequently your confidence will diminish.
3. Only be nice to those who are nice to you.
Most people are insecure. Be the nicest person you know and you will find that people will open up to you. People respond to (and remember) how you make them feel, so if you want to feel better about yourself and about the world around you, then be the change that you want to see. Be kind to everyone and you will find that in turn, mostly everyone will be kind back to you. As more and more people are attracted to your energy, your confidence will soar.
4. Be who others think you should be.
Being anyone other than your true authentic self is a surefire way to destroy the confident you that is inside. Stop listening to everyone else around you and start listening to what sets your soul on fire.
5. Allow yourself only to dream “realistic” dreams.
Dreaming “realistic” dreams will lead to “average” living. Don’t be afraid to set high expectations in life, for it is in dreaming big that we live out our true dreams. It is impossible to not feel confident when you are in high pursuit of an uncommon life.
6. Set your expectations low.
Low expectations lead only to complacency. Expect the best, of yourself and of life and in turn you will start seeing the best in yourself as well. Confidence grows from a place of honoring the beauty in life and in yourself.
7. Keep your quirky, weird traits to yourself so that no one knows how dorky you really are.
Being yourself, to every small degree of quirk, is exactly what gives us freedom to live confidently in the skin we are in. It is in being confident in our skin that we can find real freedom to be confident in other areas of our lives as well.