Podcast #601

SOCIAL ANXIETY: HOW TO STOP OVERTHINKING SOCIAL SITUATIONS

Have you ever been in a room full of people but felt like you didn’t belong or that you were completely alone? Do you find yourself coming up with excuses to not attend a social event because you’re not sure “it’ll be worth it” or that people will notice or care if you attend or not? Maybe you love being around other people, and you’re craving deeper relationships and friendships, but you find yourself overthinking every conversation you have and kicking yourself for not saying the right thing. Or, perhaps you feel the pressure to look or dress a certain way, and you spend way too much time thinking about how to dress, how to do your hair and how to fit in even though you don’t it doesn’t actually matter. Maybe you find yourself overthinking social interactions or large group gatherings because you just aren’t sure how to engage, how to start a conversation naturally, how to get out of one naturally or if anyone truly wants to talk to you, or you’re the person waiting for the invite to the girl’s night out or the group event, but you feel like you never get included and you’re just not sure why. You’re not alone, and you’re not weird or broken or socially awkward … you’re just human and in this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re diving exactly how to feel better, stop overthinking and show up better in social situations.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

The Confidence Fix — a year-long intensive with lifetime support, only available this week at a discounted introductory price …this includes a year of 1:1 coaching checks in with and a lifetime of support.

www.trishblackwell.com/thefix

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

WHAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE 2020

The COVID-19 pandemic has had a profound impact on American social life, leading to changes in social interactions, increasing social isolation, and contributing to heightened social awkwardness. Here are some key statistics and facts that highlight these changes:

  1. Increased Social Isolation:
  • A study conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA) in 2021 found that nearly half of Americans (49%) reported feeling isolated and lonely due to the pandemic, a significant increase from pre-pandemic levels .
  • The Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey reported that as of 2020, 36% of American adults felt significant loneliness, an increase from 24% in 2018.
  1. Social Anxiety and Awkwardness:
  • According to a survey by the American Psychiatric Association in 2021, 41% of Americans reported an increase in social anxiety since the start of the pandemic .
  • The Harris Poll, conducted in 2021, found that 42% of Americans felt more awkward in social situations post-pandemic.
  1. Changes in Social Behavior:
  • A study by the Pew Research Center in 2021 showed that 61% of U.S. adults had reduced their in-person social interactions significantly during the pandemic, opting for virtual interactions instead .
  • The same study noted that 29% of adults were finding it harder to re-engage in social activities as restrictions were lifted. 
  1. Impact on Mental Health:
  • The Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) reported in 2021 that 40% of U.S. adults experienced symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorder during the pandemic, compared to 11% in 2019 .
  • The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that young adults (ages 18-24) were particularly affected, with 56% reporting feelings of isolation and loneliness.
  1. Work and Social Life Balance:
  • The Microsoft Work Trend Index (2021) reported that 46% of the global workforce felt less connected to their colleagues due to remote work .
  • A Gallup poll found that 44% of Americans working remotely felt that maintaining friendships and social networks had become more challenging.
  1. Social Media and Virtual Interactions:
  • The Pew Research Center found that the use of social media and virtual communication platforms increased by 40% during the pandemic as people sought to stay connected while physically apart .
  • However, 64% of Americans reported that these virtual interactions were not as fulfilling as in-person interactions.

These statistics indicate that the pandemic has significantly altered social behaviors, increased feelings of isolation and loneliness, and heightened social anxiety and awkwardness. The long-term effects on social interactions and mental health continue to be areas of concern and study.

The effects of social isolation or social disconnection?

Depression and anxiety

Increased stress

Cognitive decline

Loneliness

Decreased self-esteem

Weakened immune system

Increased risk of chronic disease

Unhealthy lifestyle choices

Sleep disturbances

Increased social anxiety

Decreased social skills

The effects of social isolation are profound and multifaceted, impacting nearly every aspect of an individual’s life.

ASSUMPTIONS

People don’t like me.

I need to be funnier.

I have to be extraverted. 

I am just awkward.

No one cares if I’m there or not.

It won’t be worth my time. 

I don’t have the time for this – it’s a waste of time to make effort.

They don’t want me there.

People don’t remember me. 

They’re only inviting me out of pity / because they have to.

No one will notice if I leave.

People don’t care about me.

AVOIDANCE

We are too busy to prioritize social events.

We think it’s too inconvenient.

We want others to initiate.

We avoid people who intimidate us.

In short, we lie to ourselves.

We need and crave social connection, but we avoid it by saying

-I’m not good at it

-I don’t have time for it

-It won’t be worth it

-No one will care about me

-It’s inconvenient

-It’s awkward

Stop justifying this social self-sabotage that is deeply harmful and creating self-isolation. 

ACTION

Be yourself.

-Know your strengths and the value you bring to social groups

-Activate proactively in ways that work for you

-Stretch yourself to “act as if” you are already You 2.0

Be an encourager

-Compliment others

-Build them up 

-Remember that everyone is overthinking, just like you

-Focus on making people feel seen, heard and like they matter

Be a question asker. (Have confidence / certainty that people love talking about themselves)

-Get curious

-Find ways to remember people and their info / kids names, dog names etc.

-Ask about backstories and hobbies

-Create connection

-Watch people with social skill and be curious / study them 

Be an initiator. (This takes confidence and courage)

-Say hello first

-Connect via social with people

-Ask to text your new contact

-Create the invite

-Have someone over and let them see your real life

Be kind

-Practice being likeable in low-hanging situations (phone calls)

-Spread kindness

-Find things in each person you interact with that amaze you 

AFFIRMATIONS

I belong and I will belong anywhere I go.

I am good at connecting with others and my presence matters.

I contribute in social situations through my ___________.

This is me actively becoming more socially confident / more socially adept / more socially skilled. 

OTHER EPISODES YOU’LL LOVE

#287: How to Get Rid of Social Anxiety and Self-Doubt

#587: Wanting People to Like You: How to Feel Confident in Any Social Situation 

Speaker 1 0:00

Have you ever been in a room full of people that feel like you didn't belong? Or that you were completely alone? Do you find yourself coming up with excuses to not attend social events? Because, well, you're not sure if it's gonna be worth the effort or if people are even going to notice or care if you attend or not. Maybe you love being around other people. And you're craving deeper relationships and friendships, but you find yourself overthinking every conversation you have. And then kicking yourself for not saying the right thing, or the cool thing, or the not awkward thing. Or perhaps you feel the pressure to look and dress in a certain way. And you spend way too much time thinking about how to dress, how to do your hair, what to wear, whether or not you're going to fit in, even though like technically, you know, it doesn't actually matter. Maybe you find yourself overthinking social interactions or large group gatherings, because you just aren't sure how to engage, how to start a conversation naturally, how to get out of one naturally or if anyone truly wants to talk to you. Or you're the person waiting for the invite to the girls night out or the group event, but you feel like you never get included? I'm not just sure why. Listen, you're not alone. And you're not weird or broken, or socially awkward. beyond repair, you're just human. And in this episode of the confidence podcast, we're diving into exactly how to feel better, stop overthinking and show up better in social situations. Are you ready for a great episode? Let's dive in. You're listening to the confidence podcast, the go to coaching podcast, oozing with motivation, and easy to implement steps that help you to be bold and confident in life. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized confidence coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of confidence. I teach go getters in life, how to master their self talk, turn down the volume of self doubt, and get more results in life. So that you can be the difference maker and world changer. God created you to be you were made for more. And today's episode will help you tap into it. Let's go. Hey there, it's Trish Blackwell and you're listening to Episode 601 of the confidence Podcast. Today we are talking about social anxiety. How to Stop overthinking social situations. This is an episode I know it's gonna resonate with so many people. I am a very outgoing social person. And one of the reasons I'm able to coach on what we're talking about today is that I still struggle with this, I want to welcome you into being compassionate towards yourself. Understanding that any social anxiety is part of the human experience. Like it's okay, we don't have to so fiercely judge ourselves or criticize ourselves or double down on our awkwardness. I just want to normalize it a little bit. And I think today's coaching is going to help us do that. In our episode, we're gonna talk about first off the difference of social anxiety. Since 2021, right post pandemic, it's a very different world, we're going to talk about some assumptions that might be happening in your brain, some avoidance that's happening, and then some actions you can take to elevate your social confidence and to minimize your social anxiety. And then I'm going to give you I have 12344 simple, powerful affirmations, to close out the show some power phrases to help you remind yourself when that social anxiety wave comes and tries to sweep you into it and sweep you under that you can talk back to it, that you can remind yourself that you do belong, that you are liked that people enjoy you. So we're gonna dive in. Before we do I want to say, Well, if you're new listener, I'm so happy you're here. If you've listened to all 601 episodes, I am as happy that you are here. Thank you for allowing me to be a voice of encouragement in your life. I'm so happy to be here with you today. So our Review for the week is from Shelby Selby girl. And they said This podcast is fire for confidence. Here's what the review says I discovered this podcast in March and it came just at the right time in my life as I started making sweeping changes in my life, from how I operate my business to my fitness routine and My Food Plan. Listening to Trish has given me a lot of great insights and tools to improve on all of these areas. I've gone back and listen to old episodes and recently recently bought the journaling bundle. I say I would say this podcast is close to perfect for building confidence and learning how to love discipline and commitment to your purpose and goals in life except for the religious bent. I know she says upfront that it's a Christian based program and I can usually let the god references roll by but some episodes are pretty heavy on religion and I have to skip by those. And I share that I want to thank you so much for it that review. Thank you for being honest as well. And listen, I share that because I want you to know I'm always going to be upfront about my love for Jesus and I also want to be upfront about it. You belonging here, even if we don't share the same beliefs, and on the episodes that if I go to into my faith or my passion for just how good God's goodness is, please feel free to skip ahead, please feel free to hang out with me next week. I love you for showing up for allowing me just be a good, reliable friend. So, look, everyone is welcome here. I am so happy. I actually love reviews that say, This is so good, except I don't like this. And I hear you I welcome that. And I appreciate that you still show up and that you are taking what works for you, and leaving what doesn't resonate. And that's always welcome. So, guys, I love you. I consider us a podcast family. And so thank you. For everyone who writes reviews. Thank you to everyone who shares the show. All of that is incredible. And I'm so deeply grateful. One quick announcement before we dive into the coaching, I have a new I'm going to be super brief, a new thing. I'm only offering it for a short period of time. I'm not even going to give you details. It's it's called the confidence fix. I was looking for a one a price point that will fix all confidence issues. This is a year long intensive one on one coaching with me with check ins each month, and then life time support. It's only available this current week at an introductory discounted price. You can find out more about it at Trish blackwell.com forward slash the fix. I'll put that in the show notes. Let's talk about social anxiety. Let's dive into coaching. What has happened since 2020? Well listen, the COVID 19 had a profound impact on Americans, specifically, everywhere worldwide social life. I'm going to give you some statistics based on US data, but some major changes in social interactions. And it led to increasing social isolation and heightened social awkwardness so you're not alone in how you're feeling. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association in 2021 found that nearly half of Americans 49% reported feeling isolated and lonely. Due to the pandemic, which is a significant pre increase since pre pandemic levels. The Census Bureau households pulse survey reported that as of 2020 36% of American adults felt significant loneliness, which is an increase from 24% and 2018. The American Psychiatric Association and 2120 21 said 41% of Americans, having reported increased in social anxiety since the start of the pandemic, the Harris Poll, which was conducted in 2021 found that 42% of Americans feel more awkward in social situations post pandemic, I hope, I hope you hear that you're not alone. I'm going to read a couple more stats for you because I find so much encouragement in this and also a call for us to rise up be more go getters be more initiative initiative, takers in our our efforts at social engagement with others because it's not that we aren't the only ones struggling. Other people are waiting to be included to be invited to be encircled around and, and included as well. So there was a report done by Microsoft work trend index and 2021 that reported that 46% of the global workforce felt less connected to their colleagues due to remote work. And as we know, remote work has only continued a Gallup poll found that 44% of Americans working remotely felt that maintaining friendships and social networks has become more challenging. And that is true, the more we we live remote, virtual lives, the more effort it takes actually to maintain in person in real life networks and social and social events and friendships because sometimes it's easier to just stay in your patterns. And so, the effects let's just mention, though, that the effects of social isolation or really social disconnection are pretty intense. Depression, anxiety, increased stress, cognitive decline, loneliness, decreased self esteem, weakened immune system, increased chronic risk of a risk of chronic disease, unhealthy life choices, like lifestyle choices, so over eating over drinking over shopping, sleep disturbances, and here you have it increased social anxiety and decreased social skills. So we're going to talk about this it's not a problem that you feel awkward

Speaker 1 9:35

awkwardness and you feel it remember, our thoughts create our feelings. You only feel awkward because you're telling yourself a thought that you are awkward. In my coaching program in the College of confidence we teach the what I call the tea method, which is your tea a like a cup of tea your thoughts create your emotions, your emotions create your actions, this is based on cognitive behavior therapy, and how that how we generate emotions and so on. I don't actually care if you feel awkward. You feel awkward because you're thinking thoughts that are saying I'm awkward. And that's why we would such great news. Here's you have power. And yes, there are times let's be, let's also be transparent. There are times every one of us is awkward, where you're like, No, you didn't you don't just feel it, you are it. But most of the time, it's because we've doubled down on fulfilling and then we start not acting ourselves, we start forcing things or we start overthinking. And then that gets expressed awkwardly. But can we also have some grace towards the fact that awkwardness is kind of forgettable? It's not as big of a deal as we paint it to be in our mind we, we dramatize it, and we get really embarrassed and ashamed of it. But chances are most of the time when you feel like you're being awkward one, no one notices. And two, no one cares. But so I want to break down the assumptions that you might be making, that are creating awkward. So these are the thoughts that you were thinking the assumptions that you use, or the thoughts that you're thinking that are creating that feeling of awkwardness. And I want to remind you just because you feel awkward doesn't mean you're being awkward. Here are just a some this is just scratching the surface. These are the ones I jotted down. People don't like me. I need to be funnier, or cooler. I have to be more extroverted I was I wish I was more outgoing. I'm just awkward. No one cares if I'm here or not. It won't be worth my time. I don't fit in here. They don't like me. I'm not wearing the right clothes. I don't know, the right thing to say. These people don't care. They don't remember me. I'm not memorable. No one will notice if I leave. You might also be making assumptions that they're only inviting me because they have to. It's a pity invite. And so when we make assumptions like this we are creating or your thoughts are I mean, I'm saying those because I wrote them down, I read them out loud, I instantly feel yucky. I want to remind you that your feelings are indicators of your thoughts. They're they're directing us back to thinking about what we think about they are not dictators in your life. Just because you feel a thought doesn't mean you have to follow the feeling. Excuse me, I said that wrong. Just because you feel the feeling doesn't mean you have to follow the feeling. The feeling is simply coming from a thought. And you can change how you feel by changing the thoughts that you're thinking. Way easier said than done. Please don't take this lightly. This is why we do the work that we do here on the podcast and in the College of confidence. So there's this avoidance when we make these assumptions, and we walk with the assumption that I'm not good in social situations. Or maybe your thought is I always put my foot in the mouth. I never say the right thing. I don't really add value to the conversation, whatever that assumption is that is making you awkward that's making you overthink, maybe you're thinking thoughts like they don't like my makeup. everyone notices that gain five pounds. You know you're insecure thoughts that are creating unnecessary awkwardness. And when you have those thoughts, we do these we do a couple things. We either act awkwardly, or we go into avoidance. Those are the those are the default things. I'm going to give you something actionable and determine that you can do and that's going to be take action. I'll tell you that in a second. But when we go into avoidance, fundamentally, we end up thinking a couple things we preemptively avoid the social situation. We say we're oh I'm I'm too busy. We turned down events we say no to coffee dates we avoid and change we and we ghost friends we don't show up when we say we're going to because we then we then we also believe the lie that we're too busy to prioritize social events, then we feel sorry for ourselves that we don't have a social life, or we don't have friends. And sometimes we think it's too inconvenient. Sometimes we avoid because we want other people to initiate. Or sometimes we avoid people who intimidate us. In short, we lie to ourselves, we crave and we need social connection, but we avoid it. And we avoid investing it and in it and we avoid developing our social skills. Guys, these are social skills by saying things like I'm not good at it. I don't have time for it. It won't be worth it. I've always been a loner. No one's gonna care about me. I'm an introvert. It's inconvenient, it's awkward. I just want to see this right now stop justifying social self sabotage, because it's deeply harmful and creating self isolation. And we already know that there's a lot of negative side effects of isolation. Think about the worst punishment in the prison system is solitary. Its isolation. Crew need us to interact to need one another to be connected, we are created for community. And often we pull ourselves from community because we, we believe, lies like, I'm not good enough. I don't belong. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not funny enough, I don't contribute enough. So one I want to I want to pause for a second and let you know that you matter, Hunter remind you that you matter. If you haven't listened to Episode 598, please do it is you are somebody. And I think we over we overthink and over glorify some of the people who appear to be very socially outgoing, the storytellers, the jokesters, the leaders, we think, Oh, it must be easy for them, I want you to know this simply, yes, they might have a propensity be the first to speak and be loud and entertaining. And that and that is some of it is wiring, some of it is choice as well. And some of it is skill that can be developed. You know, there's a reason if you look at the stats that have happened since the pandemic, this degradation of social skills and social awkwardness really points to and reflects to the fact that social skills are exactly what we're seeing them that is what the term is that term social skills. A skill is something you can develop that will that will have hypertrophy and growth, or atrophy and weaken. So if your social skills are not where they want them to be, it's not because you're socially inept, it's not because you're socially awkward. It's not because of your social anxiety. Please don't claim that as a label, stop labeling yourself with anxiety, you don't have anxiety, you feel anxiety. Sometimes you feel social anxiety, please don't say I have social anxiety. Because if you say you have social anxiety, it will sweep you up and it is now holding you, I want you to hold a social anxiety, you are bigger than the anxiety. But when we use the words, I have this, that makes the thing as if it has a hold over you. I feel it, I don't have it. Because when you say I have it sort of like let's just who I am. Some of it is simply because we have so pulled back, we have been so isolated and disconnected post pandemic. And so yeah, we've got to rebuild those skills. We've got you've had social atrophy. And maybe it's social after atrophy from the pandemic, maybe it's because you didn't get built up as a child or you you had you were you're overcoming some trauma from being bullied or an experience in your adolescence where you felt excluded, or you got really hurt by a group of people. And you've internalized a message or narrative that that said that you didn't belong or you weren't good enough, and that has affected your story. You're telling yourself about how you fit in socially or not. So maybe your social skills have have had atrophy simply because of a story, your narrative story, your narrative, right? Your narrative intelligence about that. And so you want to use her narrative intelligence to tell a better story, that you are wired to be in community, you are wired to connect and be part of a social group that you in any personality, right? This is for my extroverts My my, my introverts, my ambiverts, that you thrive with people, that you thrive with interaction, and you might be like, Trish, I am not I am an animal person, and go put me on an island with the animals. And that's fine, you still need people and you still need connection and animals and interaction. Like everyone needs different amounts.

Speaker 1 18:32

But it's all still there. And so we can build and rebuild the skill. What I want you to note too, is that in a social situation, we often create our own feelings of awkwardness because we're judging our thoughts about I wish I was more like somebody else. We have a thought like that. And maybe, maybe you're listening and you're really great and you an incredible listener. And then you are intimidating yourself because you're saying to yourself that this friend that's so gregarious and outgoing and positive and knows everyone's name is really good, but names and you're like, Ah, I wish I was like them. I need you to know that we all bring something unique in social situations. Sometimes you're the entertainer, sometimes you're the listening ear. Sometimes you're the encourager, sometimes you're the loud one. Sometimes you're the quiet one. Sometimes you're the person who's tell jokes, and sometimes you're the person who laughs I am the best. Look if you are funny, I'm meant to be your friend. I am not I'm funny in my own way, but not like not funny. And I used to think oh man, I something's wrong with me socially that I can't tell jokes. The way these my friends that I'm drawn to are. No, no. Those my friends who I'm like, I feel like they could they should be stand up comedians. They need me. They need me to pee my pants laughing because that's what I do. You know, and when I finally accepted my job was not to be the person telling the jokes why person is my job is to be the audience for that person. Now There's a beautiful exchange of, of social interaction. So please don't denigrate your contribution, because maybe your contribution is the laugh, the listening ear, and I really believe there's as much value in that as the person, quote unquote, leading that social situation. Let's take it to action. Let's talk about what you can do, because we talked about what we did we do naturally. And by proxy, let's talk about what you can do to take action. And I've got, I've got 312345 quick things to tell you to take action. You can be yourself, know your strings and the value you bring to your social groups, just like we were saying here and then activate proactively in ways that work for you. Stretch yourself to act as if you're already you to point out so think about your, your, your fullest, most comfortable, joyful, confident self, describe that version of you, and start showing up as as as her go be her. Ask yourself, how would the confident version me show up? What would she say? How would she participate? being encouraged her son an incredible way to come off socially competent compliment others build them up? Remember that everyone is overthinking just like you. So focus on making people feel seen and heard and like they matter. Next thing you can do is you can be a question asker which by the way, have confidence and certainty that people love talking about themselves. The best way to come up more socially confident is to be more interested in other people than then them being interested in you. Get curious, find ways to remember people in their information, their kids names, their dog names, stop saying I'm not good at names and start practicing getting better at names. Ask background stories, and hobbies and just offhanded questions. Hey,

Unknown Speaker 21:54

how was like, What are you doing? What kind of projects? Are you working at work? What kind of work do you do? What kind of vacations Do you like to take? What are you reading right now? What are you watching? on Netflix, create connection.

Speaker 1 22:07

And another thing you can do to be a question asker is to watch people who you perceive to have high levels and highly developed social skills and social competence and just be curious and say, how do they carry themselves? Interesting, study them success leaves clues. The next thing is to be an initiator. And it takes competence. It takes courage to initiate be the first to say hello. This is how I've made my friends have been like hey, you're cool. Like, Hey, I saw you here last time I saw your lacrosse practice, right? Yeah. They sent me a text. Oh, what are those? You're good as the shorts do, can you send that link to me on Amazon now I have your number. Now we can now we can actually talk now I can send you a message. Now we're gonna start inserting little efforts to be friends and be social. But it starts with you saying hello. If you want to come off more socially competent be the first to say hello. Make eye contact with people give people the head nod. And what's so great about this skill is you can practice this anywhere you go. This is low hanging fruit. You can practice this as you walk through your neighborhood. You can practice this when you go to Walmart, you just be a person who says hey, hey, hi. Hey, how's it going? I don't care if people think you're weird. You're practicing a skill. And then you can use social media to connect with other people ask for someone's number. Create the invite. invite somebody to go for Hey, do you want to go neighbor to go on a walk? Ask to friends to mom friends to golfer happy hour. invite somebody overseas if they want to grab a drink with you in your house. Do it or create a join a book club be an initiator start a book club start a Bible study. The person who starts taking action is the person everyone sees and perceives as the most confidence. And you will see yourself as more confident when you do it. And it's okay to be scared when you do it. It's okay to feel awkward. It's okay to go oh, why did I say that? Because I've decided to be the first to say hello. I've decided to be a friendly person. I've decided to lead with kindness. Which leads me to my fifth my final one has to be kind. Practice being likable in low hanging situations. Being the first to say hi, telling people thank you being the neighbor that waives and says Hey, hope you have a great day that extra measure of kindness is going to help you perceive yourself as being likeable. When you believe that you're likeable. You can quell some of the social anxiety that's going to start to stir up when you think about social situations. And you can stop overthinking that social anxiety and social awkwardness by reminding yourself I'm a likable person. I'm likeable. I'm kind and thoughtful. I belong. Spread kindness. Find things in each person that you interact with that amaze you. It's not necessarily to tell them but I want you to be amazed at other humans. Maybe the shape of their face the sound of their accent the color of their Skin, the way that they are impeccable, impeccable, and their style, the way they raise their children that the more admiration you have for every human you see, the more admiration you will see in yourself. And when we drop that self critical weight that we carry, you will more you will increase your the likelihood with which you enter social situations going. I'm a great contribution here. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to meet these amazing people. We have amazing humans that we are surrounded by, be the person who finds the good in others. One other way you can practice being likable in what I call these low hanging fruit situations is on the phone, like on the phone with. Maybe you're calling your verizon, maybe you're calling your water company, and just ask yourself, like, Hey, I wonder if I can be friendly enough that this person clearly softens towards me that they say Hey, nice chatting with you today. The more you practice, throw away conversations and practice learning to navigate them, the more confidence you're going to have in the social situations and the social conversations or networking conversations that you really do care more about. It truly is practice my friends. I'm gonna close this out with the affirmations this just four affirmations that if you really want to improve your social confidence, write these down, say them to yourself, customize them for yourself, and use these as power phrases. Remember, your thoughts which are just these affirmations will create the confidence and assurance, assuredness that you're craving. First one, I belong, and I will belong. Anywhere I go. You could simplify that by saying I belong in every room I walk into. Second one, I'm good at connecting with others. I'm good at connecting with others. Maybe you want to insert I'm good at listening to others. My contribution matters. I contribute in social situations, through my fill in the blank for me, I contribute socially through my enthusiasm. Like I know one thing about myself as I am fouzia mastic and I know that that makes me know I know when someone's telling me a story or something's happening in their life. I'm like, Yes, I'm so excited. Like, I can resonate mirror be excited build them up, that I can take that into any social situation. Maybe it's through your humor, maybe you contribute through your listening, but just No, no, through your positivity. And then finally, when you are feeling nervous when you're like Oh no, here I am being socially brave. Like I'm choosing social competence right now. Today I'm walking in assuredness, I want you to say this to yourself. This is me actively becoming more social. This is me actively becoming socially confident. You could also say, This is me actively working my social skills. This is me actively becoming more socially adept. This is me being brave, and my loves. Be proud of yourself for that. If you're jamming out on this topic, I did two throwback episodes that you'll also like one is episode 287 How to Get Rid of social anxiety and self doubt, you can get that at Trish blackwell.com Ford slash 287. And one is Episode 587, which is somewhat recent, wanting people to like you how to feel confident in any social situation. And then as I said, go check out if you're interested in the confidence fix. A one time one time purchase, that I truly am committed to making one year of your life. Turn around your entire confidence. Check it out at Trish blackwell.com forward slash the fix. Guys, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for everyone who will write a review this week, who will forward an episode to a friend or who will simply take what we talked about and put it into practice in your life. I'm proud of you. I love you. And I'll see you next week go out there today go be more of who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. Thanks for listening to the confidence podcast and allowing me to be your coach today in your life. If you love the show, please let us know by leaving a review in iTunes are encouraged by what you learned. share this episode with a friend and let us know that the show is changing your life by saying hi to us on social media Instagram, Trish_Blackwell are on Facebook Trish Blackwell coaching, ready to take what I teach and really take it to the next level. Join us today in the College of confidence. It's my group coaching program that you can join risk free and cancel anytime. In the COC you'll scale your confidence, your courage, and the changes you make in your life. It's the coaching support and community you've been looking for. Go to www.collegeofconfidence.com to get stuck already. If you love the podcast, you will love the College of confidence even more, and see even more transformation in your life. Come and see for yourself. I'm cheering you on friend. See you soon

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