Podcast #599


Do you struggle following through for what you really want to do? You have a great idea, and you totally want to implement it. You make a plan, you get on board, and then you flake. You bail on yourself, you change your goal, you convince yourself that it doesn’t matter or that you struggle with consistency and follow through, so you can’t help it, right?


But you can.


Follow through is a choice.


Consistency is a commitment.


This episode will help you break free from the struggle of feeling like you can’t be someone who follows through. 


Master consistency and you will dramatically increase your confidence in your life.


How to Always Follow Through | Podcast. Review of the week image


“Do what you say you’re going to do. There’s a discipline in following through with your word which I think is the bedrock of all personal effectiveness.” — Stephen Covey

 “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” — Jimmy Dean


Following through for yourself is one of the single most powerful ways to build your confidence.

Keep your promises to yourself.

Keep it especially when it’s inconvenient.

Keep it when you don’t feel like it.

Keep it when you feel like it doesn’t matter.

Keep it when you feel fear.

Stop saying or declaring that you struggle with follow through.

You’re speaking limitation over yourself.

You’re allowing your words to imprison your thought.

You are blocking yourself and indulging in the excuse that you “can’t help it.” 

This more than that a lack of follow through.

This is false confidence in the effort required to achieve the life you want. 

It takes work.

It takes grind.

It takes grit.

It takes more than you initially think.

There are two types of pain you are choosing between:

  1. The pain of discipline 
  2. The pain of regret 

Stop assuming things are easy for everyone.

Lean into the hard thing.

When we don’t follow through

-We either don’t want what we say we want enough

-We don’t know the real discipline required to achieve the result we want

-We aren’t willing to work hard for ungalmous wins 

-We want it to be easy

What I’ve Decided (And I invite you to decide) 

I don’t want it to be easy.

I like the grind. 

I lean into challenges.

I accept that I will be awful to start.

I will believe in what I cannot see. 

Following through isn’t something you struggle with or don’t struggle with – it’s something you choose or you don’t choose.

You need your why to be big enough that you always choose to show up.


#542: More Consistency and More Follow Through

#425: Why You Never Follow Through and How to Fix It:

#482: How to Stop Giving Up On Yourself

Speaker 1 0:00

Do you struggle with follow through for what you really want to do? You have a great idea. And you totally want to implement it. You make a plan, you get on board. You're consistent. And then you teeter off. You flake. You bail on yourself, you change your goal. But here's what happens. You convince yourself that it doesn't matter. Because you, you just struggle with inconsistency you this is just something you can't help, right. If you've always wanted to improve how you follow through this episode, is for you. In this episode of the competence podcast we're diving in, to really exactly how to start talking back to your brain, when it gives you excuses when it flakes on your commitments, so that you can be a person who not only just takes massive action, and dreams big dreams, but follows through when it's not glamorous when no one sees when it doesn't seem to matter when you don't feel like it because that that is where breakthrough happens. That is where we create massive change in our lives and in the world around us. That is what high achievers do. That is what confident people do. And that is what you're going to learn how to do exactly. After listening to this episode. Let's dive in. You're listening to the confidence podcast, the go to coaching podcast, oozing with motivation, and easy to implement steps that help you to be bold, and confident in life. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized competence coach, best selling author, and founder of the College of confidence. I teach go getters in life, how to master their self talk, turn down the volume of self doubt, and get more results in life. So that you can be the difference maker and world changer. God created you to be you were made. For more. On today's episode, we'll help you tap into it. Let's go. Hey, there, it's Trish Blackwell, and you're listening to the confidence podcast episode 599. Because I'm racking my brain deciding how we're going to celebrate next week's episode, it's just a fun mile staring right 600 episodes. And if you know anything about my coaching, you have learned that I really, really value micro moments, celebrating the journey along the way, and so on lead by example, by showing you how I celebrate milestones that I can very easily shrug it off at no big deal just another week. Or I could pause and say I've shown up behind a microphone for 600 weeks in a row. Well done. Let's celebrate. Right. And so listen, wherever you are, I want you to practice patting yourself on the back, applauding yourself giving yourself the validation that we create from other people. You don't need it to be based on your achievements. You don't need to earn people's approval. You don't need the applause of the people watching you live your life you need to be able to learn how to give it to yourself. And we do that by cheering ourselves on. But that's not what we're talking about today. Today we're talking about how to always follow through. And this is a listener requested episode. And so we're gonna dive into it. If you're new to the confidence podcast, I believe you are here for a reason you have found a great place to be my goal every week every tuesdays and drop an episode that you can immediately apply to your life. I want to break down the complicated inter weavings and thoughts of our of our brains that often feels overwhelming and hard to talk about. And I want to be the person who helps you know how to talk about it, know how to change it, and know how to experience life better as a result of the work you do here. Think about this. We get fit by going to the gym. Right? This is the same thing. This is your gym for your brain. This is your mental fitness training. And so the more you do it, the stronger you get, the more you do it, the better you look right, the better you feel like and so the more you put in, the more you will get out. Before we go and dive into today's coaching though, I gotta share our review of the week is from Cheryl she said this Wow. Life changing and quickly. First of all, Cheryl, thank you for being a new listener and taking the time to write a review so quickly. I hope you guys noticed and I think I mentioned this on a previous previous episode I have turned down for the for the for the time being. Sponsorships I have offers for paid sponsorships, but as the listener myself to other podcasts. I hate that interruption. So my ask of you to help keep this ad free is to really pour out the love in the review section so that more people find the show. So here's what Cheryl said she said my big self confidence gap is as an artist trying to make my business work. I've always struggled with self confidence on many levels, but one year in entrepreneurship and Ouch. Life can feel like a desert Oh, yeah. Can I get an amen? I know and live that life. I know. It's, it was chat GPT that suggested several podcasts. And this was the top of the list. It's only been a few days, but the podcast and the activity journaling has been the rains and positive feedback that I have needed to get my keep my wild mind in check. It's great. And I plan on diving deeper. Thank you, Cheryl. Thank you. First off, Cheryl. Also, I didn't know that you could use chat GPT to get podcast suggestions. And it absolutely made my week when I typed in and saw that you're right. My podcast is the top recommended when you type it into chat GPT. So thank you for helping me know that that's a way I can use chat GPT what great use of AI guys, we live in such a cool world. All right, y'all, let's talk about what we are here to talk about. And this was a listener submitted request, they said this, the area of my life I struggle with mostly is follow through, I always get that great idea. And then totally believe in it, and believe I can implement it, I make a plan, I get believers on board. And something fails to happen and ends up with nothing. It's been apparent with me for years. And I always I feel and I know that I'm capable, passionate and definitely a person for the job. But not being able to follow through just chips away from my confidence. Overall, I think I'm not the only one failing to show up for myself and keep my promises to myself. And so it's got to do something with self worth and self confidence. But if you could cover that, at one point, it would be amazing. And my friend, you got it, ask and you shall receive. So let's talk about it. Here's the thing, I want to start by saying with love, I'm gonna give you some tough love today. We say I'm not able to follow through, and we act as if that's happening to us. And so this is the verbatim thing and you are not the only person I think I could count hundreds of people who have said to this to me, Trish, I just can't follow through. Trish, I just I'm just inconsistent. As if this is who you are, as if like this is just a byproduct of your personality, or that you don't have the discipline. First, let's acknowledge discipline is a choice commitment is a decision. And so is this that's all this is following through or being consistent is just a different way to say you're committed. So are you committed to yourself? Are you committed to maximizing absolutely everything you've been given in your life? Are you committed to being the best version of yourself possible? Are you committed to that wild, crazy dream? Are you committed to the weight loss? Are you committed to make the business work no matter what, it's not a question of I'm not good at follow through, it's a question of Have you really committed yourself. And I was I was prepping for this. And I just got so fired up to talk about this in a fresh way, we have quite a few episodes on follow through and I've got them listed at the end of the hour, and I'll share them with you the episodes you can go through and double down on really how to stop getting up on yourself how to be more consistent. But today we're approaching it from a new angle a fresh, a fresh angle to realize that not being good or not being consistent is simply a choice. But really more than anything, it's an excuse. And we we fall into the excuse. And it feels like by proxy by default, which is why we feel like we can't help it. But this is where the work that we do here on the podcast is so critical. You can help anything in your life within your control, which is your which are your thoughts and your attitude, and your actions. And so when we feel like we can't help it, I can't help I'm just not good at follow through. I'm not good at being consistent. I give up too easily. I do it for a few months, and then I lose track. It's it's that actually it's not that you've not got the capability to keep going. It's just that you get distracted, you stop being as intentional because what happens and this is to so many people, as well, this in my personal training field, I saw this in my coaching, I see this I've seen this is i This is what humans do. The minute it gets boring, we give up the minute we don't have the guarantee or that we lose the emotional momentum. We were relying on feelings and I gotta I gotta I gotta remind you, if you lean on your feelings to create a life, you will create a life of mediocrity. I am not interested in building a life based on how I feel. I'm interested in building a life based on how I think and what I decide on what I've decided as possible because if you wait to till it feels good, it's never going to you're never going to happen.

Speaker 1 9:31

If you can practice the skill of doing what you don't feel like doing, you will be able to do anything. I'm gonna say that again. If you can practice the skill of doing what you don't feel like doing, especially when you don't feel like it, especially when it's inconvenient, especially when you're not sure if it matters, especially when you think the finish line is so far. That is what enables you to be able to do anything. Stephen Covey said this do what you Say you're going to do, there's a discipline and following through with your word, which is the bedrock of all personal effectiveness. I think sometimes the other thing though, the other reason we aren't consistent, right, we, as our listener, submitted, not able to follow through, sometimes we feel unable to follow through, because we feel like what we're doing is not effective. We are short sighted, and discouraged and easily disappointed. And so when the wind changes, and we go, I thought I'd be further along, we lose sight of the what we're working towards, and we get sucked into our current disappointment. And then we go, what's the point? Jimmy Dean has a great quote says this, I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can change my sales, I can change my sales to always reach my destination. So I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to reach my destination. And so I think to be a person who always follows through one, we have to fundamentally believe that our effort matters, and that we have decided to show up. And if we show up, and we are committed to showing up and following through, yes, the wind is going to change, it's not going to be a direct point A to point B, it's going to be a point A to point Z to point to point C to point B, and then we'll be on our on our on our Marielle way. So we have to have the confidence to know, I've decided I'm doing this, I've decided to have my own back, I've decided to live a committed life. So I'm gonna take action. And I'm gonna take action. And I hope that my action gets this certain result. But when it doesn't, because the wind is going to change, the result is not going to be what I want. I want to run a marathon and a certain pace. And then sometimes that pace doesn't happen. So how do I adjust? I want to do this business project, and I want it to reap this result. And sometimes it's going to do it. And sometimes it's not. But the real question is less about is what I'm doing working and more about, what am I willing to keep doing? I need to keep going, and I need to adjust my sales. So you are good enough to do anything. As long as you don't stop. I think one of the reasons we don't follow through one of the reasons that so many driven people give up on themselves, we give up on the dream we give up with and then we convinced ourselves first, oh, I can't help it. I'm just not going to follow through. And then we tell others well, you know, I kind of just changed my focus. Yeah, it's not, I'll do that later, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna start that business or write that book. Probably next year, when I'm not so busy, we tell ourselves lies that we're going to be less busy. There's no point in your life, that you're going to be less busy. And so we've got to stop lying to ourselves. And we have to realize that following through for yourself, is one of the single most powerful ways to build your confidence. When you keep your promises to yourself, you become somebody who has their own back who was a friend to themselves. And when you keep your own promise to yourself, little things in the big from emptying the dishwasher or, or preparing your your your your nighttime routine, to running the errand that you don't feel like doing but doing it because you said you were going to do it to doing the big things of saying I'm going to track my macros because I am really committed to this weight loss. Keep your promises to yourself, when they're promises that only you see. Because that's telling you that you value value you. So keep your promises to yourself and keep it especially when it's inconvenient. Keep it when you don't feel like it, keep it when you feel like it doesn't matter. Keep it when you feel the fear. Because what happens is when you keep it because you've just decided to be a person who keeps their commitments, is then you have the confidence to go, I'm willing to show up, I'll show up when it's raining. I'll show up when it's inconvenient. I'll show up when I'm sleep deprived. So stop saying or declaring that you struggle with all of you or that you're just not, you're not a consistent person, because you're speaking limitation over yourself. You're allowing your words to imprison your thoughts, you're blocking yourself, and indulging in the excuse that you quote, can't help it. And I think that there's a bigger picture here. We live in a world and this is not entirely your fault. I want you to take ownership of what you can take ownership of. I'm not I'm not casting blame. But I also want to call you up and give you give you permission to have compassion on yourself. Because we live in a world that is filtered. We live in a world where we look at somebody that's that's advertising overnight success. There's no such thing as an overnight success. You will look at somebody's amazing physique and go oh, I'll never get there. Or She's so lucky. But you don't know that she wakes up at 4am to do a run because it's the only time a day that she has available so you don't know the discipline that is behind the result. You can have anything you want in life if you're willing to work for it. But I think we so we see it well, because we're sold. We have, we live in a world where they say take this pill and you'll get this result, it's so easy, just three steps, then you too will be a millionaire. So we are sold, microwave results, but we live in a crock pot world. Things that you want take time. They take effort, they take grit, they take a willingness to feel disappointed, to feel inconvenience, to feel pain, to get to tell you anything that you want, that's really worth what you want, is worth the work that it will take to get there. But I think I think sometimes we look at someone else and maybe you're building a business, maybe you want to be a New York Times bestseller. Maybe you are trying to fill up your your your coach like me, and you want to fill up your clientele. And maybe you want that fitness result. Or you have just started running marathons and you're like, I don't know how I can run 30 minutes faster than this, like, how is it that that person is faster? Like how do I get there? Well, you get there. By doing a lot of repetition. Period, I've had people say to me, how do you rent so fast? What it used to run fast. Now I do. So 15 years ago, when I started running seriously. I ran 50 miles a week. So 50 miles a week, times, 52 weeks times, 15 years, guys, I've done a lot of running, like I've done a lot of miles. And I do it. And if you follow me on Instagram, you know, it's it's not always convenient for me. If I have a five A if I have to go to the airport at 5am. And I know that there's going to be a big travel day, I'm up on my treadmill at 330. It's not glorious, it's not great, don't have a good attitude, but I do it. I do it because I want to be a person who does what they say they're going to do now, barring there's a rest day if there's a rest day when I'm traveling, that's completely different. But I'm saying is that that's the work. It's the grind that no one sees that gets you the result. You can look at someone's business, you can look at my business and go, she must be great, how nice that she can podcast and travel the world with her family and do this and this and this and y'all didn't see the years that I was recording this podcast while working 45 to 50 hour job while training 20 hours a week for an Ironman, not knowing if the effort I was putting in to becoming a coach to building an online presence to just serving people to crafting my message, not knowing if there would ever be a result on the other side. But I believed it would I believe that my work would matter. I believe that the more I showed up, the more people I could help. And I just kept showing up, I just didn't give up there were a Oh, I think three years where I wrote a blog post every single day because somebody said Be a person who's willing to do that. And so, so it's more than lack of follow through it's actually there's false confidence, there is a we are we are sold a false bill of goods, about the effort that's required to really achieve the life you want.

Speaker 1 18:11

So this is not entirely your fault, but it is your responsibility to go what is it that I really want? And what is the cost going to be? And we have to really ask ourselves, Am I willing to do that? I think it's worth by the way, I think it's always worth it. But I think I think what's discouraging and what sabotaging and deteriorating your confidence is that you that you generally speaking we as a as a culture, we are sold this concept that oh, that results so easy. You can do it just be a little discipline. And so we are that we go it's a little discipline, when we expect the results come faster than than they should. But we also weren't told the truth. It's not been a little discipline, it's been 100% disciplined. It's not do this for three months, it's commit to it for 12 months, for 18 months for three years. And it's so we so the life that you want the results that you want require effort. And it's going to take work, and it's going to take grind, and it's going to take grit, and it's going to take more than you initially think. And I think that's true. This is true in relationships. How do you always follow through and showing up for your relationships and fighting to have the best marriage or relationship possible? It's work. It's behind the scenes work. And I really just think you can decide to be a committed person I want you to decide to to stop working on being consistent, and instead, change your definition of commitment. Do you want to be committed? Do you want to committed life or not? I want to life that's committed. Because I see that people who are committed create incredible results. And the truth is that there are really just two types of pain that we choose from in the world. The pain of discipline, or the pain of regret, and commitment or follow through is truly just discipline. And the more you parent your brain, the more you improve your narrative intelligence, right. And n q is your ability to change the story to talk back to your brain to tell yourself, hey, you can throw a tantrum that you don't feel like doing this now, but we're doing this because we're disciplined. I want you to start identifying as a disciplined person, I'm a disciplined person, I am a committed person, I am willing to take action. And then also, I mean, it really becomes that do I do I want the pain of discipline right now, or the pain of regret, when I realized I didn't get that result. I haven't lost the weight. My My business is not making money because I haven't done the discipline of figuring out Facebook ads and, and talking back to my overwhelm and navigating that and pushing through or investing in, in a mentor. Right, you want the breakthrough, you want accelerated results, but the pain of financial discipline to invest in the next thing that you need, or the regret of going, nothing's changing. I think the other thing that sabotages our follow through is that we assume it's easy for everyone. Like, let's lean into the hard like, you assume that it's easy. I've had people come up to me and say, you know, everything you do is so easy for you. It's so it's, you're so committed and like, it's not easy. I mean, I love it, I kind of get off on like, how exciting it is, once I show up when I don't want to show up for myself, like when I do something that I don't want to do. And it could be from mopping to putting the laundry away to getting the workout into doing something in business that makes me highly uncomfortable that I'm nervous to do I want to put myself out there when I do it. And I show up for myself, I get this exhilaration, this this thrill, but it's hard. And I think people assume it's easy to stop. I think so I think because it's harder than we expect. And we assume that it's easy for what everyone else we think there's something wrong with us. Which is why then we go oh, I guess I just struggle with consistency, consistency, commitment, discipline, it is hard. It's hard. You know, I'm gonna pull back the curtain a little bit you guys have? I've mentioned before as my years of swimming and the level of athletics that was, Do you know how many hours I spent with my head underwater? How boring that was? How many 4am mornings I get up to run? How many things I said no to in order to say yes. To my goals. When I was writing my first book and building my brand, I was in my 20s. I was single in my 20s was a fit personal trainer, all of my friends that we worked hard and they played hard. And we every Thursday night, every Friday night, every Saturday night. Trisha coming out, Trish, let's go up, Trish, let's go out, I would go once, but I can. The number I can very, very vividly remember the number of nights on Fridays, I said no to social plans, because my goals were bigger. Because I said this is my only time to write a book. And nearly none of my friends understood the vision. And they said, Well, okay, good luck with that book. And I spent the Friday night writing a book because I knew it needed to get done. And so are you willing to be committed, you can say no to some things in order to say yes to what you want the most. And when we don't follow through, we either don't want what we say we want enough. We don't believe it's actually possible. We don't know the real discipline required to achieve the result that we want. We want it to be easy, or we aren't willing to work hard for the unglamorous wins that no one sees. And so here's what I've decided along the way I've decided, and I invite you to decide this as well. I don't want it to be easy. Because if it was easy, everyone would do it. I want results. But not everyone has. I want a life that not everyone has. I want to make a difference. Not everyone does. I want to maximize every bit of talent opportunity, gifting that God has given me and and put it at his feet and say I want to hear him say well done. Well done good and faithful servant you have multiply what I've given you. That's after acknowledge that is not going to be easy and just happen by chance. It has to be intentional. So I don't want it to be easy. I like the grind. I lean into challenges. I accept that. I will be awful to start. Not going to be good to start but I got if you keep going you will become good. And I've decided I will believe in what I cannot see. And I think we have to talk back to the fear that what if I put all this effort in what if I'm really consistent and it doesn't work out? And just some open thinking questions is is what would it mean? Would it mean anything? What would it mean about you I have chosen to believe that it means that there's always something for me to take from this, I have chosen to believe there is no such thing as wasted effort, I have chosen to believe that my effort always compounds, my effort always matters, the way I show up in the world, whether I get the result that I want or not always matters. Following through is not something you struggle with or don't struggle with. It's something you choose, or you don't choose, you need your why to be big enough, so that you always choose to show up. And it might be as simple as saying, I've decided to be a person who's committed, I'm committed to vision, I'm committed to living my life to the fullest, I'm committed to being different than other people. I'm committed to being willing to do the crazy thing. I'm committed to the vision of what I want. And guys, if you don't know what you want, and you don't know what your purpose is, and you don't know what that deep, deep, why is that's going to be compelling to you do you have commitment to have passion, to have this willingness to have grit like no other, then I invite you to come join us in the College of competence this month, we are doing in the entire month on purpose on defining your purpose, redefining your purpose, finding your purpose battling pointlessness, all of these workshops are absolutely incredible, you get instant access to the ones we've done. And then of course, you get live Access Plus the replays of the ones that we are doing. When you join the COC it is absolutely risk free. Come and join us for 14 days if it doesn't blow your mind. And if it's not absolutely next level for you just let me know, let my sister know you send us an email, it's super quick and easy. No questions asked will refund you your money. That's how confident I am. That the College of confidence has resources that will absolutely change your life. Go to college incompetence.com. To check it out.

Speaker 1 26:41

Before we close out, I am going to give you guys the episodes to listen to if this theme of consistency and follow through is really resonating for you. But before we do, I want to let you know I am doing something very new in just a few days, it's on May 20. We are going live for five days, May 20 through May 24. So it's next week, it's absolutely free. And it's a pressure detox week, if you're a person who puts pressure on yourself and you want to stop. This is for you. I've had so many people say like, just just don't put so much pressure on yourself. I remember being so frustrated because I was like that's really that's cute. How how. And so if people have ever told you not to put pressure on yourself, but you don't know how to this is for you. It is going to walk you through a week long experience designed to help you actually know how to stop putting so much pressure on yourself without having everything fall apart. And you can get access for free save your spot at Trish blackwell.com forward slash pressure. Because the truth is when you stop putting pressure on yourself, you won't feel as exhausted you won't feel the undercurrent of stress that you feel in your in the anxiety that's creating every day you can still have high expectations but trust that you're going to achieve what you believe you can because remember what we learned today, you are a committed person. You don't have to put the pressure on yourself. And this is coming from a person who spent most of her life with massive self pressure. And it was absolutely exhausting is not a way to live. And so this pressure detox week is going to help you change that I'm going to walk you through step by step. We're doing it all within a free Facebook group where I'm going to be going live and we can have conversations a whole new approach. So grab your free spot, Trish blackwell.com forward slash pressure now the episodes I want you to check out and listen to our episode 540 to more consistency and more follow through. We've got that linked in the show notes on my website. Also episode 482 How to Stop giving up on yourself and then episode 425 Why you never follow through and how to fix it. Because I hope this episode has blessed you. I hope it has encouraged you. I hope you share it with a friend. And I hope to see you in the culture confidence and to see your seat saved in pressure detox week. Go out there today go be more of who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. Thanks for listening to the confidence podcast and allowing me to be your coach today in your life. If you love the show, please let us know by leaving a review in iTunes are encouraged by what you learned. share this episode with a friend and let us know that the show is changing your life by saying hi to us on social media Instagram trish_blackwell are on Facebook Trish Blackwell coaching, ready to take what I teach and really take it to the next level. Join us today in the College of confidence. It's my group coaching program that you can join risk free and cancel anytime. In the COC you'll scale your confidence, your courage and the changes you make in your life. It's the coaching support worked in community you've been looking for. Go to www.collegeofconfidence.com to get started. If you love the podcast, you will love the College of confidence even more and see even more transformation in your life. Come and see for yourself. I'm cheering you on friend. See you soon

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