Podcast #581

CONFIDENCE GENDER GAP AND BREAKING SELF-LIMITING PERSPECTIVES

If you notice a difference between the confidence, and wages, of men and women in the workplace, and you want to know what’s going on and what to do about it, this episode is for you. The confidence gender gap is a real thing, and today’s episode is a conversation with one of the world’s leading experts on the study of the phenomenon. Buckle up to be fired up about the role each of us plays in closing the confidence gender gap, and in breaking self-imposed limiting perspectives. If you want to break your own internal and external glass ceilings this year, this is the episode for you.

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re chatting about:

  • The confidence gender gap
  • How to start questioning the limiting perspectives you’ve placed on yourself 
  • Talking back to your life script and life narrative in a powerful way. 

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ABOUT CLAUDIA

Claudia Dempsey is a mom, wife, educator, woman of faith, and personal growth enthusiast. With a passion for personal development and a heart for equipping others, Claudia is dedicated to helping women climb higher and go further on the journey of life. Her focus? Showing women how to embrace their life purpose, dismantle limiting beliefs, accelerate personal growth, and optimize their impact.

As a seasoned administrator in higher ed, with two leadership doctorates and a master’s in counseling, Claudia has spent decades studying practical strategies that will empower women to score tangible wins in every aspect of their lives.

Simply put, she’s a woman on a mission to help others unleash their potential and make a profound impact on the world around them!

CONVERSATION WITH CLAUDIA

Some approach the pursuit of confidence as though it were a straightforward, one-dimensional path to a desired location.  The reality is, however, that confidence is a dynamic, deep-rooted, and multidimensional experience. So, we have to understand the different facets and dimensions involved…and embrace the process of growing into these different dimensions. (Rather than moving forward in a straight line, we need to look at confidence development as expanding the circumference of who we are.

In addition to understanding the complexity of confidence, I think it is critical that we understand the complexity of our cumulative life script and how that impacts the way we view ourselves, as well as our role and value in the world. If we are not careful, we will live in subjectivity to an imposing narrative that we don’t even know exists.  (*Awareness is one of the number ways people can begin to confront under-confidence.)

Research confirms that there is a very real confidence gender gap. .

Many ask why the gender gap exists:  Because of the values and traditions of our culture, the social undercurrents in existing organizations, how we are individually socialized, and the fact that women are generally wired to be relational, socially cooperative, and interdependent while men are more independent and individualistic. This means that women generally assess the value of who we are or what we do through the filter of our collective social networks (we’re often more predisposed to sociotrophy). “…Who do they say I am?”

Confidence rises and falls on the fulcrum of limiting perspectives. We have to be astute learners of our own perceptions, thoughts patterns…etc. Our thoughts are going to follow the “road most traveled” (neural pathways), so we have to be intentional about refusing to travel those damaging pathways while simultaneously paving new paths forward.  (i.e., overcoming shame, shoulds, comparison, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, people pleasing…etc.)

Life narrative

We are not subject to the script we have in our hand

We can dismantle it and rewrite it’

You have to speak into this life script. You’re not subject to this script. 

Speaker 1 0:00

If you notice a difference between the confidence and wages of men and women in the workplace, and you want to know what's going on, and what to do about it, this episode is for you. The confidence gender gap is a real thing. And today's episode is a conversation with one of the world's leading experts on the study this phenomenon, buckle up to be fired up about the role each of us plays in closing the confidence gender gap and embracing self imposed limiting perspectives. If you want to break your own internal and external glass ceilings this year, this is the episode for you. You're listening to the confidence podcast the go to coaching podcast, oozing with motivation, and easy to implement steps that help you to be bold and confident in life. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell internationally recognized confidence coach, best selling author, and founder of the College of confidence I teach go getters in life, how to master their self talk, turn down the volume of self doubt, and get more results in life. So that you can be the difference maker and world changer. God created you to be you were made. For more. On today's episode, we'll help you tap into it. Let's go. Hey there, it's Trish Blackwell and you're listening to the competence podcast we're on episode 581. And in today's episode, we're talking about the competence gender gap and breaking self imposed limiting perspectives. With my expert, friend and and client, Claudia Dempsey, her brilliance brings it I just want you to know you are in for a treat. If you scroll back, and you look at the number of guests that I have on the show, it's approximately two per year. And she is worthy of such a spot what she brings in her study of competence is so unique and so complimentary to the way I talk about the subject that I absolutely had to bring her on and share her work and all of the good that she's doing in this field with you. Before we dive into our conversation with Claudia, I do want to let you know and remind you that it is not too late to come and join me. In New up you have missed only one day, and you are going to get the recording if you want to make this year the year that you're absolutely transformed who you are, and who you can be and what is possible. And this is the year you make massive change. You want to reinvent yourself. You want to reinvent your habits, the way you think the way you you get results, your consistency, your breakthroughs. It's all happening in New you week. This is a week long coaching experience where we're going to meet noon to one o'clock everyday Eastern, I'm going to record it all you get a workbook and you get the recordings. And you can show up live get coached by me live and experience the difference that coaching makes investing in coaching change my life, this is a way for you to dip your toe into the water. And I am so confident that these coaching weeks will change the way you see yourself the way you think about yourself the way you show up for yourself that if you don't see and feel a massive difference in yourself and in your confidence by the end of the week. Just let myself know, let my team know, we will happily refund your money you can sign up and get started instantly at Trish blackwell.com forward slash new you. Okay, so in this episode, we're talking about the competence gender gap, how to start questioning the limiting perspectives you've placed on yourself, and talking back to your life script and life narrative in a powerful way. Before I tell you just a little bit about Claudia and we dive into the interview, I want to remind you we have decided, at least for the first start of the year to go ad free I have said no to sponsorships, I didn't like the listener experience of interrupting the show for you. But that said I need your help, the more you can share the show. It helps us grow then we don't need responses at all. We can just reach more people with this free service. This free coaching I provide each and every week. So make sure you follow the show make sure you share it with your friend, your mom, your sister, your coworker. If this if this has ever made a difference in your life, my ask of you is that you leave a review, it takes less than a minute to write a review and tell us that the show is worth listening to that helps more people find the show. So thank you in advance to all of you who do that. I read each and every review, and they mean the world to me. And before we dive into our conversation with Claudia, let me just read you a brief bio about her and then we're just going to dive right in because this is so good. I want to cut right to the chase. Claudia Dempsey is a mom, wife, educator, woman of faith and personal growth enthusiast with a passion for personal development and a heart for equipping others. Claudia is dedicated to helping women climb higher and go further on the journey of life. Her focus she showing women how to embrace their life purpose, dismantle limiting beliefs, accelerate personal growth, and optimize their impact. A seasoned administrator in higher education with two leadership doctorates and a Master's in Counseling. Claudia has spent decades studying practical strategies that will empower women to score tangible wins in every aspect of their lives. Simply put, she's on a mission to help others unleash their potential and make a profound impact on the world around them. Now, Claudia and I worked together. And that work was impactful for both sides, both parties participating in the coaching experience, and she is just an extraordinary woman, her wisdom, emanates through every sentence she speaks, I hope you enjoy her, and the gems that she has to offer as much as I do. Let's dive to the interview. Y'all. She is just one first and foremost, you know, I don't have guests on my show, maybe two a year. And so please know that when I have a guest on my show, you're in for a treat. It's the Claudia Dempsey, who look, I don't often come across people who study competence, as passionately as I do. And Claudia does. Claudia, thank you for being on the comments podcast. And coming to the show. Oh, it

Unknown Speaker 6:22

is treasured pleasure to be here. Trish?

Speaker 1 6:24

Oh, my gosh, well, can you? Well, first off, you found me this is a really kind of fun relationship, how God has just brought us together. Share a little bit with with if you could with the audience of what first sparked your interest in confidence, why you studied it and became an expert in it, and how that crossed paths with my work. And what you're doing now to move forward? Just give us a kind of an aerial view of your journey?

Speaker 2 6:50

Oh, absolutely. Yes. You know, I was at a point in my career, where a lot of things were starting to go well, I was experiencing those winds we hoped for, I was seeing an increase in my opportunity for influence to speak into different leadership roles. And, and I was great getting some really solid feedback. And yet, I was so surprised that there was still this lingering sense of self doubt that would pop up. And sometimes it was like a little whisper. And I could either push it aside if I if I really understood what it was, or sometimes just even press on despite of it. And then there were other times Trish where this thing would pull up a seat. I couldn't shake it. It just penetrated deep and it it became like a paralysis or this really heavy cloak. And I thought, No, I can't have made it here. And this be what this is supposed to be like. So I just said, you know, I'm in academics. Let me start researching this. And I did in fact, I dedicated my entire PhD to the exploration, the dissertation to the exploration of this, because I just said this cannot be the reality. And I want to understand what is out here. And so I just started doing research on like, I it was sometimes very academic, but I was also looking at voices in the field, who maybe isn't publishing in the academic journal, but who's got an audience and has wisdom out there. And I found you pretty quickly and I reached out I remember that email, like, Okay, I need some help.

Speaker 1 8:20

I loved it. I remember I remember getting the email, we were out snowboarding and I was like this, I'm gonna enjoy this relationship a lot.

Speaker 2 8:31

Well, I was really honest, I'm like, Trish, I know a lot about this. I've been studying this. I, I still need a voice of wisdom. And I'm just seeing what you're doing. And I need a little more of what you've got to help me on my journey. So yeah, that's how it began for me.

Speaker 1 8:47

Awesome, amazing, amazing. But one thing you didn't add about your background you as as, as so many of our listeners, Claudia, you are a high achiever, you always have been, you've always been, you're the you know, even in athletics first to show up. Lastly, like you are the doer, you are the person who will climb and so please, like your humility comes very through very strong. Your level of success was that which people you know, would hope for career will like achievement wise, and you found yourself there and going, Okay, this, like I'm a successful, competent person, which leads me to where that conflict is. There's two phrases that you say that I really wanted to explore today. And the first is the like, is this idea but there's the confidence rises and fall falls, you wrote this to me on the fulcrum of limiting perspectives and I was like, Oh my gosh, I just have to highlight that. When you got up there and you and obviously as you as you climbed in, in your career in in academia, which is a very, very competitive field. You you had these Rise and Falls of the fulcrum of perspectives. What did that look like to you? What What did you study about? Thought patterns and, you know, neural pathways the road most traveled? And then how are you teaching people to address some of that? Yeah,

Speaker 2 10:08

that's great. Well, I think first came this understanding of the complexity of confidence, I think I initially thought, Okay, I like to enhance knowledge, I like to develop skills. So I'm going to, I'm going to add this one on. And I found that confidence wasn't an add on, I couldn't just sprinkle this over the landscape of my life. And like, oh, that added ingredient changes everything, what I found, and gosh, there's and I love that you address so much of this in the College of confidence. But one thing in particular, that changed this drop dramatically, for me was this understanding that, like characters in a play, who were defined by the script they're given, we each have a life script that informs two things, who we are, and how we engage the world around us. And what I found in the research was that so few of us even understood the reality of this life narrative that there was this imposed set of thinking and perspective and understanding. That gives me almost the the messaging and almost the deciphering of how to find out what I'm supposed to be in this world and what I'm supposed to do. And so something that I love, love love talking about is this issue of perspective, but also understanding, we're not just subject to the script we have in our hands at any given moment. We can speak to this, we can inform it, we can reframe it, we can when we need to, we can dismantle it, and build a script that enables us to go forward. It's this is not fabricating wishful thinking. This is saying, Who is the truth of who I am? And how do I step into the truth? And how do I step aside from those limiting thoughts and perspectives that really deny the truth of who I am or what I'm called to be?

Speaker 1 11:59

So I mean, there's so much to unpack there. Like to wait two routes I want to go here. I'll go with a more general question. What you when you've met with students, and you've been on your own podcast, educating, teaching people and you're empowering, just this generation of women alongside me, right on this mission that we share? What do you say to someone who finds himself shaking their head in agreement with you have you right? This is just a script. But what if they have a script that was passed down? That was, right, this socially cooperative interdependence? Maybe some negative messaging from parents they grew up with, especially maybe a short handed script compared to others? What's the first thing that you would advise somebody to just start to dismantle the strip script to rewrite? I mean, many of us I think it's some of it's a, some of it's a nurturer influence, I'm sure and in the story of your life, I How do you where would you start to unravel that? Especially if someone feels like well, I really got I got the bad roll here. I got my bad. Yeah,

Speaker 2 13:03

I got shortchanged, right. Yeah. Well, one is with the reality is that they can 100% Regardless of what those ingredients were, they can begin to speak to that script. And to unpacking what some of those elements are. It is our life experiences. It's understanding, it's the associations and the people who, who, who are in close enough proximity to speak into our lives. It's knowing that it's even some genetic factors and some of our beliefs, it's, it's some of our skills and traits. And then it's even the larger environmental messaging around us like this, this socialization, right. So it's one, this invitation of this is something you can speak to and then to, let's identify areas of those few things I've talked about, where are some of those limiting beliefs? Where did you have a parent who said that you'll never amount to much and now let's speak to this and Trish, I don't know that we even talked about this. I need to give a shout out to your power statements. Those are the most phenomenal thing I know personally, for bringing some reframing reframing power to some of these elements.

Speaker 1 14:13

Yeah, well, thank you. Yeah, right to question I have learned in over the last few years as I've studied this, this these concepts and these narratives that as you said, it's there's we're accumulation of the stories that we've experienced, but so often we can rewrite the script by asking ourselves what we want the story to mean. Or we sometimes make it mean something and I think one of the most freeing concepts and healing concepts that I have come across as this idea is that I can change the meaning I just because I've always made it mean something that I have to allow for my own human you know, fallacy like I have been wrong my what I thought it meant could have been very off base and it was

Speaker 2 14:53

okay to mean that Trish, I've got an example. And this stems from honestly what I learned from you, so I Following conversations we've had and time that I've even gleaned from some of your information. I remember I'm getting off a plane one day, because you know that that metal tunnel that connects you to the, to the airport. So you're you're deboarding you're going through this, and then we're all just packed in there like sardines, all, you know, moving one inch at a time. Yeah. And I stopped at what for one second to shuffle a bag from my shoulder that slipped down, I'm just going to lift it up and reshuffle things to move forward. And this woman behind me kind of like pushes me out of the way. And like, runs forward, when I'm like, where are you going, there's nowhere to go in front of me. That was completely rude. And I found myself in that second leg. That was just kind of ignorant. You know, that was rude. I started to take offense immediately. And then I thought, how would I reframe this? And in that, like in a split second, I'm like, What if she's running to the hospital to see a sick child? What if she just got news? That's so tragic. She's She has to get out of here urgently. And that changed everything? No, no, we can't do that and replace reality with with makeup truths, right? Like, I wish it could mean this. But we can when we don't know all of those factors, we can absolutely, like you said, speak to the narrative, and present ourself options to look at things in a way that that honors us, and enables us to move forward in a healthy fashion. That's

Speaker 1 16:18

so true. That's so good. Right? And, yeah, and even just giving someone the benefit of the doubt, maybe she really makes you if that's your pants, right? We can be very, very altruistic, we need to help or something simple advice question that I wanted to present to you. So because I respect and have a lot of admiration for you in the way you've raised your children. My question about this life narrative, and, and really, the script going back to the concept of the script, how have you taught your children because your children are at a different stage than mine? I'm younger, when I lean from your wisdom here of what did how have you conveyed as a parent, as a mom, this concept to young adults that you've you've raised, and they're, they're engaged, and they're doing good, successful, like contributing things? What have you, how did you present these concepts? And then what age were they ready? And really like, what, at what point did they go Mom? To like, that's great. Like, when did this shift?

Speaker 2 17:15

Right, right? You know, what I'm so glad you're asking, because this is, you know, when we can walk this out at home, it's when you know, it really is taking root. And of course, for our kids don't we just want the world for them. But I think I began just like I would do with a student that I encounter in the classroom. And we began the conversations of listen, you have to speak into this life script, Dad and I have tried to pour some good things. But even in our failures, there will be things where we didn't give you enough, or maybe at times even the wrong thing for what you needed in that moment. And you right now have a life script. But this you're not subject to the script, you as now an emerging adult, get to speak to this, what are the truths that you want to bring in? Where Where do you want to go? I love you talked about, you know, 1.0 2.0 versions of who we are? Where do you see the trajectory of your life going? And what ingredients do you need us as the adult of this life is the mom, you know, once you hit those late teens and 20s, I can cheer you on and offer some things, but you're gonna have to own this to really believe it at this stage. So I would say where they, where we can invite them, I would say in those teen years, of course, we can present this all along, but to really invite them to start to take some Reigns is in those teen years but, but bring this to their awareness, I think, I think this is what surprised me the most Trish is the lack of understanding that this is even at work, you talked about just the neuro psychology of it, all right, the understanding how our brains are wired, our thoughts follow the road, the road most traveled, right, it's always gonna follow that. And if if they've got these messages, and these beliefs imprinted, I can't change them for them. I even if I'd want my kids to have a certain belief or a value, they've got to own this for themselves. And just to keep it in front of them and the invitation to continue to revisit this. This isn't a one time you've arrived, you know, I was thinking about this is kind of prepping for our conversation about you know, I think we sometimes want our journey to confidence and health to be this linear A to be journey. And it's not that at all right? This this, this evolution of who we are almost imagined the circumference of our lives just expanding. And we've got to understand that to process and it starts with things like reframing these beliefs and understandings that we have.

Speaker 1 19:46

I really, really I'm going to mirror take what you said about how you present it to your children that Hey, dad and I, we've given you the script and we've done this, we've done you know our best and this is our hope and The narrative we want you to know that is true about you. But we've also going to have some things that you're going to need to rewrite, because we are, we've been messed we've messed up, we've not always execute. That's, to me really encouraging to hear, because I think, at any age of any stage of parenting, there's this internal pressure you put on yourself, right, you can have all the confidence that God is, um, I am of all the all the moms in the world that could have been the mother to my children, God shows me like, that gives me confidence. But man, there's still some overthinking and I love that you can, how you presented this, like, ya know, you, you say, hey, like, especially once they're, once they're at an age that they can take some ownership and authority over the script, after they've done. And, hey, you're gonna have to rewrite some of it, because some of it was really good. And some of it well, you know, could have done better. So that's freeing to hear.

Speaker 2 20:50

And when you train them with this, now, you know, they're going to encounter messages along the way, they're gonna have somebody who does not approve of them or what they're doing, and there'll be hurtful messages to come. And if they've already established a pattern of being very mindful of their perspective, their thought than that narrative, they can almost safeguard that right and continue to build it as they go.

Speaker 1 21:13

It's awesome. Hey, let's shift I want to talk about this competence gender gap, what point in there? Was it in your professional experience? Or was it in your research that you first were like, whoa, whoa, like, what is it that made you really camp out around that? Because it is, you know, I've read your dissertation. It's, it's just astounding, the difference in the gap? Could you share a little bit? And then also, when did you first start really seeing, Oh, this is a problem.

Speaker 2 21:45

So, you know, I alluded to this a little bit earlier, when I was sensing, professionally, some success, but still this self doubt. When I got into the research, Tricia was almost instantaneously, that as I got into documented research, looking at hundreds of 1000s of different participants, it became evident very quickly, that there was a significant difference between the way women just very naturally view themselves and the way that guys do. And I didn't realize the degree to which women just naturally have this propensity toward under confidence. And it's, it's striking. So for me what was so interesting what, what began as a meat issue, very quickly became a weak issue when I almost got cut. I don't know if angry is the right word. But I'm like, oh, no, no, like, you can't tell me millions and millions of women are suffering, we've got to do something, how do we not just raise the bar? So we have a better trajectory? How do I help the woman who's climbing right next to me do the same. And so really unpacking because I'm going to share a couple of stats, I just pulled a few there's so much out there. But studies have been done and and assessing women, even if we just look at the field of leadership, they will often score up to 84% higher than men and some some distinct leadership competencies. Like they're very capable for leadership. But if you look at how this has played out in the world, very few actually have top leadership roles in business. It's about 8% of top leadership roles where women are serving in some of those top positions. You look at governors here across the US, this was this stats about a year or two old now, but 18% of women serving they're in leadership roles around the globe, we're seeing about 10% Women are serving there and so, but it's not even how others are seeing them. And you know, because sometimes there are some social constructs that that make it difficult for women. It's even sometimes how we see ourselves. One study was suggesting that 85% of all women do not find themselves attractive, there may be some attractive Oh, but would say 5% 85%. That's staggering. That's staggering. So that means we're walking around. Many of us just feeling inadequate, not enough, not sufficient. I don't I don't measure up. We even see this in the way we act in certain settings. For example, you'd put a guy in a in a work environment, he's outgoing, he leads in he speaks up. Women generally don't. In fact, a guy will negotiate for his salary four times as likely as a woman would and generally asked for 30% more so we know there's already there's not parity in pay across many industries. But we sometimes contribute to that when we don't even have the confidence to speak up for ourselves and I could keep going on and on. The stats are staggering, even women who are twice as likely to experience low self esteem. So there are some Very common tendencies that predispose us toward under confidence. And if we're not aware that we live almost shackled under the weight of these, so like exactly what you're doing I love you are on mission to bring light to this but not just like hope and direction on how to step out from from that burden of under confidence.

Speaker 1 25:20

So what are you what is your when you think, you know, mission minded and in you know, you've got you're building your brand and your message? And if you were to say like, what are what's, what are two things? I don't know, any steps? What do we do about this competence, gender gap? I mean, you're an AI voices like teaching people giving them tools, equipping and empowering. But in general, as a society, what are you seeing needing to happen to shrink this gap?

Speaker 2 25:49

Do you know the number one factor for bolstering confidence and that's in in guys and gals alike, but the number one way to begin that process is through awareness? So conversations just like this, just pulling back that veil and bringing the spotlight in and saying, Hey, this may be a very common occurrence, but let's not allow this to remain a common occurrence. How do we bring enough information and then to really bringing the resources and, and the coaching, I love that in addition to what you're doing, you're coaching other women to coach other right men and women to address these things. So I think it's twofold information alone is not going to do it. That's the first step. But that is we go through that door of informing them of the reality, then we give the resource and the direction, on how to begin to, again, a lot of it is speaking to that perspective, and bringing awareness and hope of what they can become, when they understand truth and know how to apply it to their lives.

Speaker 1 26:49

I think I also resonate with how you you, we I always find your choice of words very intentional, and I love that about you and your work and our conversations. But under confidence versus I think that I can tell you and I have had over my years of doing this, right, I'm in my 12th year of coaching, Claudia, the number of people that are like, I don't need confidence, like everyone, nobody wants to admit they're having awareness. And I really believe every one of us can uplevel our competence, when we scale up our competence, we scale up our capacity to step into our calling to do big, brave bold things. And, and yet, there's this shame that comes with I don't want to seem competent. So kind of like I might start sprinkling the word more under competence, because I think maybe there's more there's less shame, there's more of a great point that it some under competence here that's a I think a more inviting meditation, because there's you write it changes when there's awareness, and then there's awareness of, well, why should I be more competent? What's in it for me, and, and there's so much like your voice is needed, impact is needed, the, the possibilities and that are available to you. But without the confidence, it's you just watering down?

Speaker 2 28:06

Right. And I have yet to see in this in all the studies I've done, and I've worked through that dissertation process with with educators in Canada and the US really unpacking this, I've yet to see someone who has whether it's a significant degree of this self doubt, or this lack of personal assurance, or whether it's just some some granular elements, I've yet to see them feel fully satisfied. So in addition to talking about the impact we can have on the world around us is just this freeing reality of coming to a place where I really have assurance in who I am and what I bring to the table. And it's not saying I'm perfect, and I've arrived, but it's understanding and appreciating who I am and the story of my life and the hope of what is yet to come.

Speaker 1 28:58

That's beautiful. Well, what was when you in the, in the world of academia, where you were what was the biggest response to your dissertation, that most surprising thing that your peers responded with?

Speaker 2 29:14

You know, okay, so this was most surprising for me is that we shared some of the findings, I work with a couple 100 faculty at my institution, and we shared some of the findings. I was very surprised at the number of gentlemen that also reached out. So I know this is a universal need. But for women, then either the lack of awareness and then just this multifaceted nature of confidence, again, we think very linearly, let me let me add this liberal ingredient to the mix, rather than less get into the this cumulative life narrative that I'm working from and the vantage point that I have, and let's go ahead and let's bring some overhaul and unhealth and, and redirection to some of this, man, it's,

Speaker 1 30:07

I'm just, I'm just glad you're on this mission. I'm glad you're on for the ride I feel often it's just like, these are giants that we have to knock down there will giants that are holding Apple back. Um, what, what I want to do is we're going to close out with I don't want to I want to respect our time. And we're going to highlight I want to highlight a little bit about climbing fierce. I think my final question is, what do you do? I'd love to ask you on your in your day to day living. As you especially as you're putting yourself out there more and sharing this message and being somebody who's who's established themselves as an expert in this this field in this industry? What are you doing to to strengthen to develop to be intentional about your, your, your competence on a daily basis?

Speaker 2 30:54

Oh, great question. I think it's, it begins with maintaining awareness to not just low into the, almost the grind of life getting busy. But listening and edit. Honestly, once you develop the habit, it does not take a lot of time. It's not incredibly burdensome, but to almost keep a keen eye on what's going on, on this reel of my mind what's happening in this thought process. And, and as you do this, you begin to understand it, it doesn't. I don't need to think too hard about whether I'm hot or cold in any given moment, right? I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I'm actually a little warm. Nope, I feel a little cold. Well, once you get to this place, and you've journey this a little bit, it does not it takes it's almost the same amount of time to discern. Well, I'm actually feeling some shame, shame creeping in. Wow, what is this self doubt? Why am I ruminating over this now for an hour, you know, what's going on? So that Oh, I think for me, the maintenance of it is, is first and foremost, just maintaining that awareness. And then stepping in and beginning to take this message for others keeps us in front of me where I have to engage it, I can't, I can't present things that I want to share with others, and not really be you know, buy into it myself. So the saying in the work doing this to help and serve others, I think is the way of really, they say a teacher always learns more than their student. Right? So that constant application almost just staying in it, and I don't I'm not leaving this, I'm just continuing to marinate in it and and see it continue to take effect in my life and, and really expand we talked about that expanding this circumference of who we are right just to see that continue to grow and expand.

Speaker 1 32:40

Or you know, let's I'll word It was part B of this question. And with a circumference of growth, I've got this beautiful image, as you're saying that. And with the concept of this, the competence rises and falls on the fulcrum of limiting perspectives as how would you what would you encourage somebody who wants to stretch their perspective? Who wants to break that internal glass ceiling? What would you advise them? Or how do you instruct somebody to have the courage to think bigger to to question Is it just a matter of question the narrative? Oh,

Speaker 2 33:12

that's good. Oh, my goodness, my mind's racing with all the options, right? I'm going to send I don't know if if you do show notes or something. But I've got a list as I you know, through the research that I found 60 Quick Steps to begin to boost confidence. And those are quick, there's some of them are deeper, but some are they're quick add ons. But one of them I want to point out that you mentioned is being willing, and I think you even alluded to this opening up, being willing to take big risks, being willing to step out. When we step out of our comfort zone. It can be so terrifying. And yet something happens that it just this expansion of who we are, that I don't even know that I can fully explain and I don't understand because there's times I'm like, well, that's a little bigger than me. I actually I don't I don't really want to do that. But it's almost if you imagine somebody in the gym, the muscles not going to grow till it's worked right. And it's hard. You see somebody like lifting and it's heavy. But what happens over time is then that weight becomes something that you know, they could just tack on more right you know, it's Go ahead.

Speaker 1 34:23

I was gonna say I heard this perfect quote today it was when I hear a quote as I'm going I then write it down. This is from a coach named Susan Hyatt and she said this, I texted to myself so I'm looking at my text messages right now because it's fresh in my mind. Everything you want is on the other side of what you don't want to do.

Speaker 2 34:41

Right right Yelp look at this almost developing a pattern of don't just settle for comfort right and listen, that's that's not suggesting go you know, sell every comfort you have and make yourself incredibly uncomfortable. But are you willing be willing to say To help out and constantly be looking like, don't just make things difficult for the sake of making things difficult. But almost if you were, the listener were to tap into their purpose, their vision, their drive, what's the next thing, the next thing on that journey? Step out. And if you need to, you find some folks to surround you. And Trish, that's why I reached out to you. I was like, I need I could tell you right now, in this moment, I need some reinforcement. So even that process of bringing in some reinforcements, to be there, support you to speak into it, and try to step forward as you're able, because there is more to be had, there's more to do. And there's more to experience on on this journey of life. Preach.

Speaker 1 35:42

I'm just saying all of that, Claudio, were one way tell us how to find climbing fears, tell us where to follow you on social, and any other way to connect, I'm sure you're resonating with a lot of my listeners, I want to make sure they know how to find you.

Speaker 2 35:56

Okay, so I guess best place to start is climbing fears is a podcast we've launched but it's under the umbrella of this larger organization called growth point perspective, so much of what we talked about today, right? Just understand perspective. So growth point, perspective.com. And in there, you'll see that we've got some resources, you'll see the podcasts link, they can find a climbing force on Spotify and Apple. And then on Instagram, right now we are on growth point perspective. And we're expanding some things moving forward. But that's that's a great place to find us if they want to reach out. That's

Speaker 1 36:28

perfect. And I will link all of this plus, the the other thing you said you're gonna send me the the tips, the competence, set points, we'll get that all linked up in the show notes, guys, so you can always go there. And that will be in the show notes for you for this episode. Claudia, you, my sister are amazing. Thank you for your time for your wisdom for being a voice that's disrupting this industry and shifting the I really believe that the competence of a generation.

Speaker 2 36:56

Well, thank you Trish, and really a shout out to you. I'd like to just say to anybody listening in, if you've wondered, do I press in? I know sometimes the price tag of self growth can can hurt at the front door of the learning experience. But find those people and those resources, invest in this and you'll be so glad you did.

Speaker 1 37:14

You're so sweet. Thank you. Thank you. All right, guys. Thank you. Hey, that was it. I hope you guys loved her as much as I do. Please go follow all of her work. She is, like I said, she's going to be a mover and shaker in this field. Please find her podcast climbing fierce or you can check out growth point perspective. That is Claudia Dempsey, y'all. It's a privilege as always to spend time with you this week. I look forward to next week we're going to be launching into a series on really, really breaking the chains of caring what people think buckle up. I know it's your favorite topic, and we're going to go deeper than ever before, so make sure you're following this show should tell a friend about it. Reach out say hi on Instagram. I'm Trish underscore Blackwell or on Facebook. Trish Blackwell coaching I can't wait to hear from you. I can't wait to see you. In New you week. If you think the podcast coaching is good you have no idea what you're missing out on when you join one of my programs comm check it out. It's 100% money back guarantee. If you don't love the week of coaching, we'll give you $47 back go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash new you go out there today. Go be more of who God created you to be. The world needs you to show up and be bright. Be you. Be free. Thanks for listening to the confidence podcast and allowing me to be your coach today in your life. If you love the show, please let us know by leaving a review in iTunes are encouraged by what you learned. share this episode with a friend and let us know that the show is changing your life by saying hi to us on social media Instagram, trish_blackwell are on Facebook Trish Blackwell coaching, ready to take what I teach and really take it to the next level. Join us today in the College of confidence. It's my group coaching program that you can join risk free and cancel anytime. In the COC you'll scale your confidence, your courage, and the changes you make in your life. It's the coaching support and community you've been looking for. Go to www.collegeofconfidence.com to get started. If you love the podcast, you will love the College of confidence even more and see even more transformation in your life. Come and see for yourself. I'm cheering you on friend. See you soon

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