Podcast #577

HOW TO LIVE YOUR DREAM LIFE: 5 MISTAKES MOST PEOPLE MAKE

Do you want to travel more? Do you want your net worth to increase? Do you want a generation-changing marriage? Do you want to change your family’s legacy? Do you want to create a non-profit that makes a difference in the world? Do you want to enjoy your life more? Do you want to see what’s really possible and within you, to really see what you’re made of? This episode is for you. 

In this episode we’re going to reawaken the dream inside of your heart and reignite your belief that anything is possible, for those who believe and those who are willing to take bold, relentless action until they achieve what they want.  We’ll cover the 5 mistakes most people make when setting goals and designing their life so that you never find yourself thinking about your life, your gifts, your potential was “woulda, coulda, shoulda.”

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re coaching on:

  • The 5-step process to the life of your dreams
  • Core ways to stay consistent and committed 
  • The 5 mistakes (and 2 bonus mistakes) people make with their dreams 

THE 5-STEP PROCESS TO THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS

Decide What You Want

Design Your Ideal Day

Determine Who You Need to Be

Delve Into the Work 

Double Down Against Doubt and Discouragement 

Decide what you want — this is often the hardest step.

Think bigger. Let is fire you up. The vision needs to be compelling. 

You can’t win when you doubt and you can’t win when you’re discouraged.

The effort you make everyday to keep yourself encouraged, inspired and taking action MATTERS. <img decoding=” src=”https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/e/notoemoji/15.0/1f44a_1f3fb/32.png”>

<img decoding=” src=”https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/e/notoemoji/15.0/2728/32.png”>Reframe those thoughts.

<img decoding=” src=”https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/e/notoemoji/15.0/2728/32.png”> Speak life over yourself.

<img decoding=” src=”https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/e/notoemoji/15.0/2728/32.png”> Surround yourself with positive people.

<img decoding=” src=”https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/e/notoemoji/15.0/2728/32.png”> Write your goal down every day.

<img decoding=” src=”https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/e/notoemoji/15.0/2728/32.png”> Ground yourself in gratitude.

<img decoding=” src=”https://fonts.gstatic.com/s/e/notoemoji/15.0/2728/32.png”> Track your micro-wins.

You are on your way, more than you think you are. 

CORE CONTRIBUTORS TO CONSISTENCY 

Commitment vs. Consistency

(Committed to Brandon, unwavering boundary.)

These are just my core new standards. 

Thought Standards:

What thought standards will you have about yourself?

What thought standards will you have about the environment of the industry?

What thought standards will you have about your work?

What thought standards will you have about others? 

This is my standard. I do not deviate from it.

When I show as sub-standard, I identify it, and then correct it.

Radical responsibility for your thoughts will change your life.

(Just because you have a thought doesn’t make it true or mean you have to keep it) 

Examples:

I show up with excellence in all that I do.

I decide to be optimistic and a positive thinker in all areas of my life.

I do not entertain victim-mindset thinking or negativity.

I don’t camp out around negative, fearful, comparative or anxious thoughts.

I am committed to brushing my brain daily and managing my thoughts. 

MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE: 

  • Vague Vision and Mediocre Clarity
  • Not Prioritizing Mindset Management 
  • Failing to Analyze and Evaluate
  • Distracted Lifestyle and Disorganized Mind
  • Settling Standards and Lowered Vision

Bonus Mistakes:

Not Setting Intentions, Not Feeling Full Range of Feelings 

Not Having a Coach or Written Plan

DO MORE IN 2024 INVITE

Today is the last day to join us.

www.trishblackwell.com/domore

If you attend and don’t think it’s the best $297 you’ve spent on yourself and your future, just email my team and we’ll happily refund you.

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Do you want to travel more? Do you want your net worth to increase? Do you want a generation changing marriage? Do you want to change your family's legacy? Do you want to create a nonprofit that makes a difference in the world? Do you want to enjoy your life more? Do you want to see what's really possible and within you to see what you're made off? If you want more if you know you've got talent and gift and potential within you when leadership is a difference maker as a world changer, this episode is for you. And this episode, we're gonna reawaken the dream inside of your heart. And reignite your belief that anything is possible. Anything is possible for those who believe and those who are willing to take y'all it takes this bold, relentless action until you get an achieve what you want. We're going to cover today the five mistakes that most people make when setting goals, and designing their life so that you never find yourself thinking about your life, your gifts, your potential as the quintessential woulda, coulda, shoulda, the best time to start on building your dream life was yesterday. And then second best time is to start now. We're going in let's dive deep. This is an episode on how to live your dream life the five mistakes most people make and what you can do to avoid them. Let's dive in. You're listening to the confidence podcast, the go to coaching podcast, oozing with motivation, and easy to implement steps that help you to be bold and confident in life. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell internationally recognized confidence coach, best selling author, and founder of the College of confidence. I teach go getters in life, how to master their self talk, turn down the volume of self doubt, and get more results in life. So that you can be the difference maker and world changer. God created you to be you were made for more. And today's episode will help you tap into it. Let's go. Hey there, I'm Trish Blackwell, you're listening to the confidence podcast. This is episode 577. We're talking about how to design your dream life, how to live your dream life. And that's the first step I just want you to know. It's available to you. I really believe we are co creators of our life, meaning that we are co creating our future along with God. And he has given us so much ability to think about what we want to think about what we think about to design our life on purpose to choose the path we walk. There's so much that you have within you. And I think we're told as kids that we can dream and then life gets busy. I think most people stopped dreaming when they hit 20. I think we experience disappointments and setbacks and things that didn't pan out and we got our hopes up. And when you get your hopes up, and then they get crushed. We think I can't handle that anymore. Maybe I'm not a special snowflake like my mom told me maybe I don't really have what it takes. And I just want you to know you do have what it takes. You are magnificently unique. You have gifts within you that are so deeply buried, that you might not even know they're there. It's our job to say let me show up. I've been given talents, it is my job, my calling my responsibility to uncover them to steward them to grow them to multiply them. So in this episode of The confidence podcast we're coaching on I want to give you a five step process to life of your dreams. I'm gonna talk about some core ways to stay consistent and committed. And then as promised, I'm gonna give you five mistakes. And then actually, I'm making it seven, as I was preparing, there's two bonus ones, five mistakes that most people make when it comes to setting goals and to having a dream and trying to create the life that they want. We're going to make sure that you know what not to do, so that you can start just taking action on designing your life. You know, I truly believe we are created in the image of God and as a reflection of him. We are also creators, your creativity, your willingness to imagine your willingness to think big is part of the creative process. It's part of how you're wired, how God made you. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And so what you first and foremost, give yourself permission to create. Give yourself permission to believe that your future can be different than your past. Give yourself permission to believe that no matter your age, it's not too late. You are not too young and you're not too old. If any of you are struggling with the doubt of it hadn't passed my time I'm past my prime. I missed my opportunity. You know we all have Have these kind of set points where we think, Oh, I should have done that in my 20s, or that was something that needed to be done when I was 37, or whatever it might be. If you are struggling with feeling like you've missed out. I want you to go and watch the Netflix movie that was recently released, called Nyad. It's nya D. It's the story of Diana Nyad. And how at 65 She swam from Cuba, to the Florida Keys, I will not ruin the film for you. It's incredible. But what you all you should know, it is that it is a story of grit and resilience. That is absolutely extraordinary. You see, Diana started that that goal that was her life dream. And she started and she took her first attempt at it at age 28. It is a story of failing and failing and failing and failing and working hard and putting your heart out and spending energy and time and money until you succeed. And I just think it's so it is a movie that got me to thinking I already knew her story. I'm a I'm a swimmer, my my core right I swam if you don't know who my story I swam through college I was full scholarship Do you want to athlete then I swim a little bit internationally after swimming is my thing. So newer story. I did not know her story until really, until I watched this film. And it made me ask myself, What dream have I given up on? What goal have I said, Well, I'm already already, it's too late. I encourage you to think about it for yourself that there is no such thing as a dead dream until you call it debt. And I really believe if it is in your mind and it is on your heart. It's possible for you. If it's in your mind, and it's on your hearts. It was put there by God. If it's in your mind and on your heart, you're ready. You're ready, it's time to start believing it's time to separate yourself from the past few. There's a term I like I like this term of separation season. And I've heard this from atma Ed, my let he says separation season, it's time to separate yourself from the others, it's time to separate yourself from the past version of you. So the version of you that is separating yourself as we go into 2024. From the version of you who's done every previous New Year's Eve or New Year's goals, I just want to invite you to think about your future differently now than you ever have in your past. Think about it with more possibility with more potential. Think about it as a as a creative who's designing you are designing your life on purpose. This is the core of what I teach my students in the College of confidence how to design your dream life. And if you haven't yet signed up for my do more in 2024. It is an amazing way to separate yourself from the past you. We are starting this Wednesday. It is a wizard multipart virtual workshop, where we are going to plan our year together, we are not only going to set vision and create a plan. We're going to do something called back mapping and an ABC map meaning action belief and courage map we're going to set intentional zones of discomfort and we're going to put together a very visual process for you to follow through the year to design and step into your dream life. My goal is that people who attend this workshop live the most extraordinary year of their life we are so I'm so confident that with this workshop this is happening December 13 and December 27 pm to 9pm Eastern if you can't make it live, we are recording everything to still get your ticket you can find out more at Trish blackwell.com forward slash do more. But my goal is that it is so extraordinarily inspiring. You will have an it will give you such a different approach to the year than you've ever had before. That if you are not wild and blown away, just tell us we happily refund your money. This comes with a money back guarantee that it is the roadmap to the year of your life so you can find out get your ticket at Trish blackwell.com forward slash and do more for my do more in 2024 virtual event do you do not want to miss this. Now let's talk about the five step process. Let's start with giving you permission to dream and starting this vision. The five step process is this. Decide what you want to

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design your ideal day. Determine who you need to be delve into the work and then double down against doubt and discouragement. So let me read those steps to you again and they are in the show notes. If you are new to the show, I do not welcome you welcome to the confidence podcast. We are a pod of fam, that is worldwide. And we are so happy you're here we are committed to making Tuesdays your most encouraging uplifting day of the week. And we're so happy you found the show. So if you don't know this, I have all the notes for the show at Trish blackwell.com. So you can go to my, my, my website, slash the episode number. So get the show notes. If there's something, maybe you're taking a walk, you got your hands full of laundry, or you are doing the dishes or driving a car, let's not take notes, I want you to go back to the notes I've already written down for you, you can go and find those at Trish blackwell.com, forward slash 577. So again, those five steps are, decide what you want. Design your ideal day, determine who you need to be delve into the work and then double down against this doubt, and discouragement. And I want to speak to I'm gonna speak to all of those. But specifically to doubt and discouragement. Remember this. You can't win. When there's doubt and discouragement. You can't win when you're doubting you can't win when you're discouraged to win the effort you make every day to keep yourself encouraged to keep your soul self inspired. And to keep taking action matters. How do we do that by reframing your thoughts by speaking life over yourself by surrounding yourself with positive people by writing down your goals everyday by grounding yourself in gratitude by tracking your micro micro wins. Because when we start to settle into the doubt, when we sit and settle into the doubt, or the discouragement and we don't fight it, we have to double down on fighting that that mind battle. Because the doubt and discouragement will derail you from your dreams. You've got to say I'm willing to fight, I will win the mental fight of my mind. And then remember this when it comes to deciding what you want. In life, you'll never exceed what you think you can do, or achieve. And so we might as well decide what you want. That's often the hardest step. Because I think we go well, I don't know what I want. So let yourself play I call this imaginative play, start asking questions. What What would I like what kind of life do I want, look around, be inspired by others. Ask yourself what's really possible, stretch the boundaries of that Think bigger, let it let it fire you up. The vision that you have for what you want with your life must be compelling. It must be compelling enough so that you've stepped into the zones of discomfort, it must be compelling enough that you you're willing to fight the doubt and discouragement that are inevitable along the way. You've got to decide what you want. And I think sometimes we go it needs to I need to have the perfect clarity. It's okay, if you have a general vision. The more you lean into it, the more you keep wrestling with a question, the more profound the clarity will come as you walk through the through the woods of that unknown. Get the direction start moving and saying this is what I want. And, and it might be something very specific. It might be something more general, I want to make a difference in the world through advocating for neurodivergent people, right? Like maybe that's your thing. Maybe you want to make a difference. Maybe you're inspired by by by providing water making sure people in third world countries have access to clean drinking water. What is that you want? What difference do you want to make? What do you want to be remembered for? What kind of life do you want to live? The second thing is design your ideal day. This is one of the initial game changing questions that I started my journey on was really going I can make my own day and so I I imagined a Tuesday. I imagined a Tuesday that I would wake up and I would get to do something creative. I imagined a Tuesday that I would have time to sit and have coffee with my husband and that we would write together I imagined a Tuesday where I had the time to walk outside at the time that I was imagining this I was working 65 hour weeks and it's interesting 10 years later here I am and my Tuesday my ideal day is exactly what I wrote out 10 years ago. I'm here to tell you guys this works. But design your ideal day down to what time do you wake up? What is your life look like? What is what is breakfast with the kids before they go on the bus look like? Well, you have kids at that point will they be where you being empty nester, design your ideal day, and you can do this 10 years out, you can start also doing it today. Ask yourself in the life of my dreams. What would an ideal day be now? Let's have like the life of my dreams where I'm contributing to society. You'll probably have a job you'll be writing you'll be speaking you'll be maybe you're still in the same employment that you are currently at. But what is your ideal day based on your life? For your dreams. And then once we know what we want, and our ideal day, we have to determine who we need to be. You may have heard this phrase before, if you're in the coaching world, but it's the, it's the who not that how when we set goals, often we get derailed many people stop because they go, Oh, I don't know how to get from where I am to where you want to go. And I don't want you to get bogged down by that thought. Instead, I want you to remind yourself it is the who not the how it is, who do I need to be to be a person who can walk that path? Who do I need to be to be able to be living a day like that? Who do I need to be to be able to achieve what I want. And as you decide who you need to be and you start practicing being that version of you that two point of your future self version of you, you are able to then start figuring out the how the how comes once you start being the WHO that you need to be. The fourth step is to delve into the work, y'all. It takes work, it's gonna take grit, the dream life doesn't fall into your lap, takes a lot, a lot of work. And you may look at my Instagram, and here's some of my stories and say it must be nice. And it is. But what you're not seeing is the amount of work the 15 years of work. A four year mornings of that I have that have put put in the 50 books on average that I read per year, 50 books a year times the past 10 years, instead of watching TV, I read I learned I grow i I commit to the work I try new things, and I fail miserably at them and then try them again and I I manage the disappointment I do the emotional work, I do the business work, I do the physical work. And then eventually you you work, work work. And then the breakthrough comes. And so you've got to be willing to say I'm not sure what the path looks like, but I'm willing to do the work, whatever that work looks like. The more effort you're willing to put in. And the more willingness you are to pivot as you do that effort, the more successful you will be. I think we created this glamorized, very instant gratification idea of what success is. And we look at influencers are people that we admire, and we just assume that they have no problems that there's never been doubt, or discouragement along the path. And that just everything's come easy. I want to encourage you know, everything worth anything takes work. And then finally, that last fifth step of the process is a double down against doubt and discouragement. It really matters. You are more on your way than you think. And so many people stop right before the breakthrough. So many people stop right when they they can we just we get down and I'm one man I think you've if you've listened to the show before you know that I have intense emotions, I can be really, really happy. And then really, really down. And then I have accepted that the moments of discouragement. I allow myself to feel them and then I it's my job to parent my brain and remind myself this will pass. This is just an emotion. This is part of the price of admission to the roller coaster of of incredible, extraordinary, exhilarating dream life that I want to live. This is the valley, the valley leads to the peak I'm willing to feel low. But I will not pout I will I used to. I used to camp out in that valley I used to have some massive self pity. I'm working so hard and nothing's working. I've learned to give myself permission to have a micro pity party, where I feel my feelings and then I say alright, girl, let's go. I then poached myself. I say it's time to take action. I will not resign myself to doubt and discouragement.

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It is a choice. I used to say to my husband, I'm just discouraged. He said do something about it. Then I was like, Okay, well, thanks for coaching me, babe. Like, but we have to do that to ourselves. And so double down. And I think sometimes I think our brains go I wish it was just easier. It should just come naturally. No, you have a human brain Welcome to the human experience. And so let's just double down and say, I will feel doubt and I will feel discouraged. And it's not a problem. Because the next statement in that sentence is, and I will keep going. Okay, and then I wanted to pivot how we're talking about dreams and your goals and your dream life. And I just want to invite you to consider what standards you have for yourself. One of the core contributors to creating the life of your dreams is to be committed. Now, there's a difference between commitment and consistency. I think so often we say I just gotta be more consistent, or I struggle with consistency. And instead, I want to invite you to consider that you are a committed person. Why are you committed? Why do I know that? Because you're listening to a show like this. And for those when you think about commitments, and for those you who are married or in a serious relationship and you would never even conceptualize cheating or compromising the values and the boundaries have that relationship, that is what I want you to consider. So I think about my husband, we recently celebrated 10 years of marriage, I'm committed to him, I have an an a, just a firm line in the sand. There's not another man that interests me other than my husband, I can admire other people's physique and say, That's a good looking human. That's another good human looking human. But my man that I committed to, that I married to, that I made promises before God to is who I'm committed to. And so when I'm at a party and my husband's not around, it's not hard for me to be consistent in my commitment to Brandon, because I'm committed to loving this man. My standard is that when you have a standard of what you've committed to, you can hold to the standard when we approach a goal or a new dream, and we say, I'm going to try, I'm going to be consistent, I would have a pretty, pretty rocky marriage, if I said, I'm going to try to be a good wife. I'm going to try to be committed and faithful to my husband, it's not a try. It's a do, I've decided to be faithful to my husband. So it's my core standard, make a decision about what you want for next year. Don't try. I think often we say I'm going to try to lose weight this year, I'm going to try to travel Mormon to try to get ahead financially. That is, that's great. That's a good idea. But you probably won't be faithful to following through. If you want to be faithful to follow through, make a commitment. And that's why I think the first commitment to make is the step in investing is the step and saying Trish, I'm showing up at do more. I'm showing up at do more in 2024, I'm going to spend money and invest in myself invest my time, my money, my dreams, I'm going to put the what's what my trying is I'm gonna take it from trying to commit it. And I'm putting it on paper. I'm committing to it. That's my new standard. That is why that that workshop is so game changing again, get your ticket, we start this Wednesday, it will be recorded. Don't worry if you can't make it live, Trish blackwell.com forward slash do more. So have a couple questions for you. What will be your thought standards this year? What thoughts standards will you have about yourself? What thoughts standards will you have about your work? What thoughts standards will you have for your brain if we know that the fifth step to a dream life is to double down against doubt and knee and discouragement. Your thoughts standard might be I won't entertain negative thinking, I walk away from Gossip, I have boundaries on my social media, when I find that my brain starts comparing those are standards. And when you set a standard, you can say this is my standard and I do not deviate from it. When you show up substandard you then just simply say, Okay, this is not my standard, you identify it and correct it. And when we take radical responsibility for our thoughts, we change our life. When you take radical responsibility for your commitment, your life will change. You're not trying to go after things you decide and you do. And so remember this living your dream is available to you. But you have to start saying you have to start saying power. Truth over yourself you have to start saying this is available to meet God created me for such a time as this clearly articulate your dreams and your goals. Know that you can say over yourself, I show with excellence and all that I do. I decide to be an optimistic and positive thinker in all areas of my life. I do not entertain victim mindset thinking or negativity, I live in abundance, not in a deficit, I have all that I need. I lack nothing. I don't camp out around negative, fearful, comparative or anxious thoughts. I take action. And I move forward. I'm committed to brushing my brain daily and managing my thoughts. This is the path of commitment that will create the life of my dreams. How about this, I have the courage say this over yourself, I have decided to have the courage and the boldness, to dream. I have the faith to believe that God is going to use me to do big things in this world that blesses other people. So what are the mistakes that people make? And how can you avoid them? Let's talk about it. Here are the five mistakes that people make that I think that if you know these, now you know what to be on that look for first mistake, vague vision, vague vision or mediocre clarity. It's there's this thing when it comes to like knowing what you want, you have to wrestle with, you have to really wrestle and say what is it that I want? And then why? Why will this be exciting and if you don't have a big, deep, like meaningful, why that's fine, but just the least knowing because it could be cool. Sometimes the Y can just be because it would be fun. That's enough of a reason. But having a vague vision of like, well I want to be successful, that is vague, that will get you nowhere. I want to lose weight and be healthy. That means nothing. Vague vision gets you nothing thing get clarity be specific no define what is being healthy mean define what def what success means. Say that I want some time freedom and travel that means nothing does it? What does it mean I want to spend 10 days at the beach that that specific I want to get have a full month off from work that specific saying you're going to work on your debt means nothing tell me how much money you will pay down next year. Second mistake people make is not prioritizing mindset management, your thoughts create your results in life your thoughts? Or whether you think you can or you can't as Henry Ford so famously said You're right. Your thoughts are everything's are you actually prioritizing your mindset management? Do you have a coach? Are you journaling? Do you do the core competence habits that we teach, which are if you don't know them, they are journaling everyday affirming and building yourself up celebrating your success, affirming and reframing your thoughts? Are you working your brain as much as you work your if you work out your body, but you don't work at your brain might be why your life is off kilter. But when you prioritize mindset management, and you know that the difference the bridge between where you are in the in the extraordinary experiences you want to create in the year ahead, extraordinary life that you want to live is simply your are simply your thoughts. Your thoughts are the stepping stones that you've stepped on, across the river that separating you from where you are and where you want to be. And so it's your job every day to say I'm gonna get my rent, I gotta get my mind, right. Today, I got to get my mind, right. Today, I'm going to wake up, and I'm gonna choose the right attitude. Today, I choose belief. You know, for years, I was frustrated, I thought I should just know this stuff, and it should be fine. And that's why I do called journaling and the work that we do in the College of confidence, brushing your brain, because you're a human, the brain will get some funk on it, you will get distracted, you will lose your prioritization, you will forget why it matters to you. That's why it's our job to renew our minds every day, in the same way that you brush your teeth every day to keep your mouth fresh, to keep your breath good for people to want to be around you to prioritize your oral hygiene, which affects your overall health. That is no different than us brushing the brain everyday choosing on purpose, what to think about and what matters to us. And that we are choosing to believe we are choosing to be positive, we are choosing to say my thoughts are going to be thoughts that lead others, I'm going to go pave the way to the life of my dreams and inspire others, I'm going to be an example of what is possible. And here's what's great when you build a life of your dreams. When you go for big goals, things that fire you up, you aren't just doing it for yourself. You're doing it for everyone, you know that's watching you. And their goals might not be yours, but they see you go do something else. They're inspired, I guarantee it. And if it's possible for you, it's possible for them. third mistake that people make is failing to analyze and evaluate we, when something doesn't go well. And the dream gets delayed or when we take a side path. And it's not it doesn't go as direct as we want. Well, you have to course correct and the plan doesn't go to plan. Often, you're still on track, but you just have to look at the map again, you have to analyze and evaluate and ask yourself what went wrong or what didn't? How can I? How can I redirect? How can I get back on course. And too often I think I can raise my hand to this. Too often we go ah,

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I knew I couldn't do it. Here I am stuck again. We go into self pity we go into victim mindset we go into doubt and discouragement. But when you feel doubt and discouragement, I encourage you to go to this, huh. I wonder why this thing go? Well, why didn't this go? Well? What did not go well? What has gone well, and what can I do next? Those three questions, what did not go well? What has gone well, and what can I do next? We can also simply say how can I still move forward, that will get you to move forward. The fourth mistake people make is a distracted lifestyle. And a disorganized mind. It disorganized mind goes a little bit with our number two of not prioritizing your mindset. But a disorganized mind means you're trying to do too much you have too many priorities. If you have too many priorities, you have none. So you're trying to do everything and be everything to everyone and you don't know what you actually want. Or you're allowing your brain to be over overstimulated from TV and social media and the news and gossip. And so you're taking in so much and you're not protecting your brain. Because your brain is constantly overloaded over capacitated and you're not creating space to think you're not creating space for silence. You're not creating space to spend time with God. So that's insane. That creates a distracted lifestyle. You got big goals but you're too busy for your goals. You got a life you want to leave and lead and And the difference you want to make, but you're too busy doing the stuff that's less important. So know your priorities know what you want. Noah has that boundaries. And the fifth mistake is settling for standards and the lower vision. And we do that we settle our standards, we settle for lower vision because we well, we compared to other people, or we get so discouraged, we go, I guess I'll change the thing I want. That was too big. Like, we just adjust our goals. Don't adjust the goals, you can adjust the timeline to get to your goal, don't adjust the goal. We we keep thinking the path to success, the path our dreams is a straight line, it is never a straight line. You're willing your ability to be successful is your ability, as Winston Churchill so famously said, to keep going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. Now the bonus two mistakes, that other people that people make is not setting intentions, not having that feeling of full range of feelings, not allowing yourself to feel discouraged to feel disappointment, because when we resist an emotion, it will persist. And then we get down and then we say Who was I to think. And then we just give up. And then the other mistake that people make, is not having a coach it it's or written plan. Their mistake is thinking, I'll just do this on my own. We were not created to live alone, we were not created to figure things out on our own. And in fact, if you look at athletics, the most physically fit professional athletes in the world, the ones who are paid millions and millions of dollars. They know how to play their game, they're the they're the best in the best to the best in the world. They still need coach to help them become better. They still need a coach to say, Hey, you got a blind spot here. They still need a coach. Because they get injured, they get discouraged. They don't win the game. They they somebody does a smear campaign in the media on them there. They have hurdles we can glamorize their life and think they have it perfect. They are humans with a human life and a human experience. And they need a coach to keep them focused on what matters to keep them in mastering their mindset to keep them winning mentally, so that they can win physically. So not having a coach or a written plan is a massive mistake that might be holding you back from the life of your dreams. And look at an easy solution I've already mentioned and I'll mention it one final time. easy solution to that is to join us in the do more in 2024 This is for you. If you want to do more with your life. If you want to do more and make more money. If you want to achieve more if you want to have a breakthrough. If you want an extraordinary life, you want to look back the way I'm looking back at this current year and going what an extraordinary life that I've lived this year. An extraordinary life I like this month that I spent with my family in Paris is extraordinary. The time I've spent on the mountain doing the things I love being in connecting my soul with God as I'm snowboarding. It's extraordinary. The way I've connected with my clients and my students in college confidence, and in my coaching certification has been deeply extraordinary. I want you to be able to look back and say, my life this year, the things I've stretched myself to experience, the risks I've taken have been extraordinary. And this is one of your last chances to join. So go get a ticket at Trish blackwell.com forward slash do more. If you attend and don't think it's the best $297 You spent on yourself and on your future. Just email my team and we'll happily refund you. It's that's it. It's that simple. Alright, folks, we're gonna close out today's episode where their listener the episode, this is an email from Joe. And she reached out to me and I just want you all to know, I thrive on feedback from you. I love hearing what topics resonate what episode was resonating to you. And just how this podcast has changed your life you can let me know by sending me an email Trish at Trish blackwell.com Even better to write a review in iTunes. We it's been a couple of weeks since we've had a review. I would love for you to be a person who says hey, let's keep these reviews coming. Let's help more people find the show and know that the show is worth listening to. And then you can also reached out to me on Instagram at Trish underscore Blackwell on Facebook. I'm Trish Blackwell coaching. Here's what Joe said. Let me start off by saying you're amazing. You've been an incredible inspiration in my journey. And you're a big reason why I became focused on confidence for myself and others. I'm a life coach now and I've helped so many people build their competence and embrace their badassery after that started, it all started in part because of you so thank you for The real reason I'm writing today is in your linguistic expertise. In my journey, I've realized how important it is to put yourself first, the only word I know to relate to that is selfish. But it has such a negative connotation. And I've come to understand what a gift it is to put yourself first. It's actually a kind of kindness. But I don't have a word to describe that I was hoping that you would help me, like selfish for the greater good. Do you have any ideas? Or do we need to create a new word for this concept? As silly as it sounds, I appreciate you so much. I also want to say that I have re very recently come to realize the true definition of faith. And while it's different than your faith, at the heart, it's the same, I realize now how important that is, and that you can never really step into the power without faith. I know you'll understand that part. Thanks for your time. Joe. Joe, thanks for this email. And thanks for the men. I tell you this is a this is a this is a tough question. I did really do some reflection of like, what do we call this? What's the word for putting yourself first and loving. And honestly, I didn't come up with a great phrase came up with some that didn't resonate with me what I want to call it as wise, we can call it selfish. But we can also acknowledge that there's a thought error in our culture that drains people's batteries, and we end up unable to serve others because we haven't taken care of the core of what our basic human needs are. And so we know that we can't give if we don't have. And so it's wise to prioritize yourself, it is wise to know how to care for yourself and to put yourself first so that you can then put yourself last I think it's the phrase that I like there, put yourself first so that then you can put yourself last that that for people who struggle with the negative connotation of putting themselves first, if you know why you're putting yourself first. So then you can then help others. That might be a good way to play with the words, I think but this week, you put your your oxygen mask on first in the plane, then you can put yourself out there, you can put yourself last as you help others and prioritize others. So we prioritize ourselves first, that we can then prioritize others. I hope that helps. I think it was a great, great, great question. I love word problems. I love linguistics. And I love playing with words. And when you change the vocabulary of your life, you change the way your life feels, and the potential that it has. So guys, I thank you for being here. Thank you for hanging out with me today. I'll see you next week and I hopefully will see you and do more. In 2024. I'm really truly standing behind that 100% money back guarantee. If it's not the best to 97 You've spent on yourself and your future. Let us know we'll give you your money back. I am so committed to helping you avoid the five mistakes that people make. I am so committed to making sure you live your life to the fullest. And you realize really how extraordinary you are and the future that you have ahead of you. how extraordinary it can be no matter how old you are. No matter how young you are. I'm here for you. Hey, go out there today. Go be more food God created you to be be you.

Speaker 1 38:15

Be free. Thanks for listening to the confidence podcast and allowing me to be your coach today in your life. If you love the show, please let us know by leaving a review in iTunes are encouraged by what you learned. share this episode with a friend and let us know that the show is changing your life by saying hi to us on social media Instagram, Trish underscore Blackwell are on Facebook Trish Blackwell coaching, ready to take what I teach and really take it to the next level. Join us today in the College of confidence. It's my group coaching program that you can join risk free and cancel anytime. In the COC you'll scale your confidence, your courage, and the changes you make in your life is the coaching support and community you've been looking for. Go to www.collegeofconfidence.com to get started. If you love the podcast, you will love the College of confidence even more and see even more transformation in your life. Come and see for yourself. I'm cheering you on friend. See you soon

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