Podcast #574


Do you ever feel like the thoughts you are thinking are making life harder for you?

Like, you’re stuck in a cycle of beating yourself up and that self-critical voice just struggles to see you the way the people who love you say they see you? Or maybe you sometimes get a sticky negative thought about yourself, or about your past, and you just can’t seem to shake the anxious and mental distraction that is a result?

For years I was frustrated with how many negative thoughts and intrusive thoughts I still had even though I was managing my mind and doing “the work” of positive thinking … but then I learned an entirely different approach to my inner self-talk that made my life feel massively better, even with the negative thoughts that sometimes still sneak in.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own thoughts, this episode is for you. We’re coaching on intrusive thoughts and what to do about them, as well as some confidence power hacks to help you stop over-personalizing what other people are saying or thinking.

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re coaching on:

  • Intrusive thoughts and what to do about them
  • How to not personalize or self-intimidate how other people act
  • Some simple power hacks that will always shift you from negativity to positivity


Intrusive Thoughts and Over-Personalizing Everything. podcast review


Know that it’s normal.

Understand your own brain’s patterns

There are some days when my brain is messy and unkind.

I have to fight harder on those days. I have to be on guard. I have to create a fortress. 

Intrusive Thoughts:

Just thoughts.

They come and they go.

They knock, you don’t have to open the door.

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing, and often disturbing or unsettling thoughts, images, or ideas that repeatedly enter a person’s mind against their will. These thoughts are typically unwanted and can be very distressing, as they often involve violent, sexual, or socially inappropriate content. Intrusive thoughts can be a common aspect of various mental health conditions, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It’s important to note that having intrusive thoughts does not necessarily mean a person will act on them; they are a natural part of human cognition but can become problematic when they cause significant distress or interfere with daily life.

It’s important to remember that managing intrusive thoughts is an ongoing process, and different strategies work for different people. It may take time and patience to find what works best for you. Consulting with a mental health professional is often a crucial step in developing an effective coping strategy.

Acceptance: Acknowledge that intrusive thoughts are a common part of human experience, and having them does not make you a bad person. Accept that these thoughts do not reflect your true intentions or desires.


You are in control, not your brain.

Your brain is not broken, it’s actually amazing. 


People react and snap – there must be something wrong with me.

It’s not you, it’s them!

We create narratives and stories in our minds, most of which are entirely fictional. 

The TEA Cycle

-Understanding yours

-Understanding other people

Confidence Hacks:

-Decide to not take offense

-Ground in gratitude

-Fact or fiction

Negativity Triggers:

-What makes you overreact? 

-What makes you spiral?


“This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/CONFIDENCEPOD and get on your way to being your best self.”

Do you look forward to the holidays? Maybe you struggle with seasonal blues? Therapy can be a bright spot amid all of the stress and change  –  something to look forward to, to make you feel grounded, and to give you the tools to manage everything going on.

It’s helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries; it empowers you to be the best version of yourself; it isn’t just for those who’ve experienced major trauma; etc.

If you’re thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It’s entirely online. Designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists any time for no additional charge.

Get a break from your thoughts, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp dot com slash CONFIDENCEPODtoday to get 10% off your first month. That’s www.betterhelp.com/confidencepod


Also  DO MORE IN 2024 pre-registration is happening.

Sign up at www.trishblackwell.com/madeformore

Success is no accident; it’s all about intention. Join our dynamic workshop series to unlock your full potential in 2024.Walk away with a clear vision, an actionable plan, and personalized beliefs that will keep you on track and motivated. Trish will provide expert guidance and help you overcome past obstacles, so you can achieve your biggest goals and create your dream life.


The ACTION | BELIEF | COURAGE MAP, or ABC MAP, isn’t just a goal setting worksheet or a vision board. It takes those concepts and exponentially improves them, by adding step-by-step actions aligned with goal milestones and dates. It then pairs the vision and action components with core belief deepening work, so you can follow the map all year long without losing confidence or your belief in your ability to make your dreams come true. Finally, the ABC MAP outlines specific “zones of discomfort ” that you decide to pursue on purpose, creating a trackable measure of accountability for your courage and consistency throughout the year as you pursue whatever your “more” is in 2024. 

This unique coaching event is more than just vision board work, it is setting vision and then an action plan to implement the vision, specifically through the creation of your own ACTION | BELIEF | COURAGE MAP. You’ll learn how to do this in a way that will help you overcome any obstacles, lack of motivation or curveballs that come your way through the year. This is more than just positive rah-rah planning, this is strategic thought and action planning, and belief-deepening work, and that makes all the difference. 

Intrusive Thoughts and Over-Personalizing Everything.  CREATE YOUR ACTION | BELIEF | COURAGE MAP

Intrusive Thoughts and Over-Personalizing Everything.  CREATE YOUR ACTION | BELIEF | COURAGE MAP

Unknown Speaker 0:00

Do you ever feel like the thoughts you're thinking are making life harder for you? Like, you're stuck in a cycle of beating yourself up and that self critical voice just struggles to see you the way that other people who love you say that they see you. Or maybe you sometimes get a sticky, negative thought about yourself or your past. You just can't seem to shake that anxious mental distraction that comes with it.

Unknown Speaker 0:28

Listen, I get it for years, I was frustrated with how many negative thoughts and intrusive thoughts I had, even though I was a positive person, I was managing my mind and doing the work of positive thinking. But then I learned an entirely different approach to my inner self talk that made my life feel massively better, even with the negative thoughts that sometimes still sneak in. So if you've ever felt stuck in your thoughts, this episode, it's for you. We're coaching on intrusive thoughts and what to do about them as well as some confidence power hacks to help you stop over personalizing what other people are saying, or doing or thinking. This is an episode you don't want to miss. Let's dive in. You're listening to the confidence podcast, the go to coaching podcast, oozing with motivation, and easy to implement steps that help you to be bold, and confident in life. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized confidence coach, best selling author, and founder of the College of Confidence. I teach go getters in life, how to master their self talk, turn down the volume of self doubt, and get more results in life. So that you can be the difference maker and world changer. God created you to be you were made for more. And today's episode will help you tap into it.

Unknown Speaker 1:55

Let's go.

Unknown Speaker 1:57

Okay, so let's coach Welcome to the competence podcast episode 574. We're talking about intrusive thoughts, and personalizing or really over personalizing everything I'm going to specifically be coaching this week in this episode on, on what to do about the intrusive thoughts that come in that you don't want to be there, we're going to define what is an intrusive thought. But in short, is the thought that you don't want that feels like it presses in it just you look around, you're like Where'd that come from? And it can be a pervasive thought that is repeated or can be random thoughts and there feels so heavy, so negative, or so cynical. And you're thinking well, I thought I was making all of this internal progress, what is happening. So we're also going to talk about how to not personalize or self intimidate yourself, essentially, how to not overthink about what the people in your life that you you know, see interact with, how they're doing their life and how they're behaving is affecting you. We over personalized and we tell ourselves these very fictionalized stories about what people are thinking about us. And here's the truth. They're not even thinking about us. So we have this over personalization that creates intrusive thoughts as well. I'm going to give you some simple power hacks that will always help you shift away from negativity and shift into positivity. So that's what's happening this week. If you are in the United States, and you celebrate Thanksgiving, it's Thanksgiving week. Happy Thanksgiving to you, my friends. I am really, it's my favorite holiday. I love it's a holiday that celebrates gratitude. How could I not love it? So I hope that wherever you are in the world, even if you don't celebrate American Thanksgiving, you can celebrate with me. I'm grateful for you. Our review of the week is from Terry bowling. She just sent me a message and said this Hey Trish, I listened to the first 20 minutes of your recent podcast on my way to work today. And wow, did I ever hit home? I tell myself the message and need to move forward into the present have more confidence in myself. Thank you. I already feel like I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you. So listen, guys, the episode she's talking about is how to have more confidence in yourself. It's a great, great episode also the that's episode 573. And then two weeks ago, we celebrated our 11th year milestone here on the podcast. And it's episode on how to create a bias of action in your life because confident people have a bias which means a default setting of being an action taker and in that episode 572 I teach you how to become that. So without further ado, let's dive into the coaching. Let's talk about intrusive thoughts. What are they? intrusive thoughts are unwanted

Unknown Speaker 5:00

distressing and sometimes disturbing or unsettling thoughts, images or ideas that repeatedly enter your mind against your will or seemingly against your will. These thoughts are typically unwanted, and they can be very negative.

Unknown Speaker 5:16

They could be related to past experiences that could be a variant expression of mental health conditions such as OCD, an anxiety disorder or PTSD. And so it's really important to know that having intrusive thoughts doesn't necessarily mean anything that you're going to act on them that they have anything to do with anything that they are mental

Unknown Speaker 5:40

sign of your mental state, none of that, it's just know that there are certain things that we can coach on. And there are certain things that I always am going to outsource and outright and refer to therapy if you struggle with, with some, some some trauma. If you've struggled with obsessive compulsive disorder, if you struggle with depression, please, please seek counseling, there is so much power in working with a therapist. But that said, intrusive thoughts are also I liked it, if that's the deep, deep definition, I also want to invite you to know that it's part of being human, they're a natural part of human cognition. And they become problematic if you don't know how to talk back to your thoughts when they start to interfere with your daily life. I used to struggle because I've struggled with anxiety so much of my life. I felt like I was constantly bombarded by intrusive thoughts and intrusive, self critical. Gosh, dialogues that would just I felt like I was narrating my life and picking it apart nonstop. And so much of that changed and the the loudness and the volume of the intrusive thoughts went down massively when I learned to talk back to my thoughts. That's why I'm so passionate about thought work, learning how to talk back and have a dialogue with your inner self talk, but also how to reframe a thought how to look at a thought, and say, this thought is just a cloud that is passing, I'm gonna let it pass. Just because I think a thought doesn't mean I have to keep it. Just because I think a thought doesn't mean it's true. Just because a thought is passing through my mind that that thought train, it doesn't mean it's a train I have to get on because every thought that you think is going to take you to a destination. You don't have to get on every thought every train that passes by.

Unknown Speaker 7:34

And so it's important to remember that when you are managing intrusive thoughts, this is part of like, welcome to the human brain. It's an ongoing process. And different strategies are going to work for different people, which is why in my coaching, I offer so many different ways to really conceptualize and give give yourself a visual of how you want to manage your mindset. We have a lot of different tools on how to do that. And you have many of what you hear on the podcast. But I just want you to be patient with yourself. Figure out what works best for you. That is what's key. And please know this just because you have intrusive thoughts doesn't mean

Unknown Speaker 8:13

that anything is wrong with you. It doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you a bad thinker. It just means that your brain needs some parenting sometimes and and that we are inundated with messages all the time

Unknown Speaker 8:29

of random thoughts, random ideas, random marketing, and it is normal in the in the 60 to 80 thoughts that you think in a day that they're going to be some thoughts that need to be weeded out, there's gonna be some thoughts that don't belong, that you need. If you if you are at a five star red carpet restaurant, your brain is this premier real estate amazing place to be. They're going to be some some some, some thoughts that try to sneak in and you have a bouncer the door that gently escorts those thoughts out because they don't belong, where you are creating

Unknown Speaker 9:04

this amazing, beautiful garden of your mind. So here's, here's what I want you to know. intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. They come in they go, they can knock, they can shout. You don't have to open the door. But if they keep pressing in and you're tired and you're hormonal, or all the circumstances in line that you feel, you're you find yourself thinking the thoughts and they feel way, way down by them. I just want you to take a minute, one of the best things to do is to acknowledge while my brain is a little messy right now, you know, just the other day it was about two weeks ago, I had a lot of intrusive thoughts. I had a lot of negativity and I just said out loud. My brains messy today.

Unknown Speaker 9:46

And there's something to be said in simply saying I have some cleaning up to do something's cluttered, something needs to be cleaned. And that I just gave myself a little bit extra margin. A little

Unknown Speaker 10:00

bit of extra mental margin, a little bit of grace to say, okay, so when I walked by mirror today, and the thoughts are negative, and they're critical, it's not a problem.

Unknown Speaker 10:14

It's just my brain is being a bully today. And I'm talking back to it.

Unknown Speaker 10:18

But man bowling is strong today. But I'm just gonna acknowledge hate today, I'm just off my game and bully. I know that you're just a bunch of talk and you are not saying anything that is true, I was able to hear the thoughts and say, well, that's a really negative, intrusive, self critical thought. And I recognize my brains a little cluttery. Today, I'm willing to say, I can't I'm struggling to fully talk back to this intrusive thought to fully escorted out because minute I escorted out comes right back in, and I do the dance all day long in my brain, and I had peace going to today's tough, tomorrow's gonna be meant is going to be bit better. That's it, sometimes you can just say, I've got some thoughts that are pressing in. And I know they're not true. It's a right there by knowledge. And I know that it's just a thought just because I'm thinking it. Just because it's, it feels really true today doesn't mean it is true. And so I what I do is acknowledge that, or do an X some extra journaling, I brain dump it out. And then I decide instead, what I want to think. And often with the best gateways to exiting intrusive thoughts on a day that is of struggle, is to go to gratitude is to go to what am I thankful for?

Unknown Speaker 11:32

You know, my brain is thinking this, but you know what, I refuse to be a victim to my thoughts, I am victorious. And therefore, I'm going to focus my brain on what is good, because this is feeling bad over here. And that's fine. I'm going to keep fighting it stick keep standing firm, keep deciding to think about what I want to think about and press back every single time the intrusive thought keeps knocking on my door. And I'm gonna give thanks for the fact that I have awareness of this going on, I'm gonna give thanks for the struggle, because it's giving me more mental strength and resilience. I'm gonna give thanks. For the books, I've read the teachers, I've had the coaches that have influenced my life, that I can see what's happening, I'm not a victim to the cycle my whole life, I'm giving thanks for the hope that I have. So know that it's normal. But I also think it's really interesting, it's really important to understand your own brains patterns. And so I showed you and just shared with you one of my brains patterns. And for me, this was at a in a week, where my hormones are a little heavier.

Unknown Speaker 12:33

And knowing that, I tend to have two days of my hormonal cycle, where my brain starts being a little critical, I'm able to go and step back and go, Oh, this is that time. This is those, these are the two days of the month where my brain is just harder to manage. And then it doesn't become a failing of mine. It just becomes Oh, this is just a pattern. And on these pattern days, how am I going to respond? What am I going to do? Because I'm not, I'm not I'm not powerless here.

Unknown Speaker 13:05

Even if it's a pattern, even if it's a biological thing, there are still things that I can do. Maybe this means I needed a little bit extra margin, a little bit of extra journaling, a little an extra Walker to maybe I need to be really intentional these days on putting fun music on in the kitchen.

Unknown Speaker 13:23

So there are days when my brain is messy and unkind. And on those days I fight harder.

Unknown Speaker 13:30

i You have to fight for what you want in life. Fight for happiness, fight for joy, fight for peace in your mind, and know and be proud of your fight. I am proud of the fight. I am not ashamed to tell you there are days when my brain is messy. I'm proud of the way I fight to reestablish my joy that I fight to hold on to the truth, I fight the thoughts that feel intrusive. And here's what's really interesting, I want you to think about your brain as something you have to guard.

Unknown Speaker 14:04

And I want you to create a fortress. And if you saw if you follow me on Instagram or you listened to the last couple episodes, you know that my family and I just were in Puerto Rico. And it was an amazing, gosh, beyond our wildest expectations, just perfection of a place. And we had the most beautiful, glorious time. And one of the things we did while we were in San Juan, is we visited the

Unknown Speaker 14:34

the fortress there was a fortress on this peninsula called El Morro. And it was one very fun to tour through with children because there's all these very cool hiding places and you see the hundreds of years of building and rebuilding and reinforcement that has to be made. This is in quite good condition and it's clear that what the island did

Unknown Speaker 15:01

To protect itself from intruders. And if you look at it, and it was so interesting reading and learning about how many people took to build it, how many people lived in there, how many guards were on at any given time watching from all directions for intruders. And so historically speaking, and this is just this is my example having just been there with in Puerto Rico. But also, I mean, anywhere you go, where there's an island or there's a coastline to be protected there. This is, this is what human kind has done. We've built, we've built walls, we've built fortresses. We have you make effort you man that you pay people to guard what matters to you.

Unknown Speaker 15:43

And there's effort that's gone, that goes into building that.

Unknown Speaker 15:47

It takes years to fortify it. And then there's this constant rebuilding and re fortification and strengthening and, and that and the walls get hit. And it gets hit. And there was this one part of the tower where there was part of a gosh, I think it was a cannon that

Unknown Speaker 16:04

a cannon ball that was that it pierced through the wall that was stuck in the wall, and they refortified the wall and built around it. So you see this object protruding but they didn't say we'll just not rebuild, you still rebuild. And my my point of this analogy, is that you will always have things coming at you what are you building to protect your brain? Are you willing to do the work to fight to protect your mind, to be on guard, and to be okay, that there gonna be times when it feels it feels very easy to protect your mental peace? And there'll be times where I'd have to battle for it.

Unknown Speaker 16:40

That's okay.

Unknown Speaker 16:42

And the reason we're doing this episode, by the way, there was a someone who reached out a listener, shout out to you, Hey, Sarah, she reached out on Instagram and said, Hey, would you ever consider making a podcast on intrusive thoughts, um, I'm going for my PhD. And we're working at the same time. And there's just a lot going on. And so when you're intrusive thoughts can simply just be life is hard. This is really hard. You have these reoccurring negative thoughts.

Unknown Speaker 17:08

Don't let those be the thoughts that when build against it. And one of the things I thought was interesting to think about this is, especially in context of a fortress, establish your power position.

Unknown Speaker 17:21

Establish clear walls, clear boundaries, clear standards for yourself,

Unknown Speaker 17:26

you start to do that you start you start putting lines in the sand of your territory of what you are protecting, and what matters to you. And I want you to do this in your own brain and in your own thoughts. And in the way you talk to yourself and in what you say about yourself and what you say about your life and in what you say about your future. Because you are in control, not your brain. Your brain is not broken because it has negative thoughts or intrusive thoughts. It's actually amazing. You are aware of this incredible

Unknown Speaker 17:59

opportunity to manage your mind and elevate it to another level to be to create a powerful mind, but the positioning matters. And what do we mean by positioning, get yourself in the in a habit of daily mental management of daily intentional thinking. And of course, I teach this by journaling, journaling, having quiet time in the morning, reframing any negative thought or anxious thought that you might have, and doing a power phrase or affirmation every single day speak over your life, what you want your life to become. Because our life becomes what we say will become, we need to take a quick break. To give a word from our sponsor, this show is sponsored by better help. Listen, the end of the year season can be stressful.

Unknown Speaker 18:51

I love the holidays. But let's be honest, there are so many things to do to make it all work for everyone, and I'm in the thick of it. And so I know that this time of year can be a lot. And it's natural to feel some sadness and anxiety and overwhelm. And so adding something for yourself to this time can be an amazing resource to help you navigate the overwhelm and some of those feelings. therapy can be a bright spot amidst all of the stress and change. It's something for you to look forward to, to help you feel grounded and to give you the tools to manage everything that's going on. My family and I are huge fans of therapy. And it's not just for those who have experienced major trauma. It can help you learn how to have positive coping skills, how to set boundaries, and help you be the best version of yourself. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. To get started. You just fill out a quick questionnaire. You get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch

Unknown Speaker 20:00

therapists at anytime, for no additional charge, find your bright spot this season with better help visit better health.com/confidence pod today, to get 10% off your first month, that's better help H elp.com/confidence pod. We're going to shift gears just slightly here. In the conversation of intrusive thoughts. One of the patterns in my coaching I've seen with my clients and my members of the college confidence is a reoccurring theme of

Unknown Speaker 20:34

caring too much when people think we care what people think. And we personalize their reactions or their dismissal or their their omissions. And we create stories in our mind, most of which are entirely fictional, about what other people are thinking about us. And I call this over personalization. And I want you to do this. Listen, people react, and people snap. And if somebody is rude to you, I want to invite you to not think that it's about you. Usually it's about them. I've worked with people and they think well, it must be me. And I just want to offer you today, it's not you it's them when somebody is acting, they are in their own thought cycle. And they are thinking something that's making them feel something which is their emotion and that they're acting in a certain way, whether they're acting rude or they're being dismissed, acting dismissive, or saying something unkind. Typically, it can be directed at you, which then makes you think all kinds of intrusive, negative thoughts about yourself, which is why we're, we're covering this in today's show, you don't have to believe that story. I want to remind you one of the exit ramps of over personalization as to realize that most of the time, the things that we are hurt by the things that we are offended by, have nothing to do with us and everything to do with somebody else and what they're thinking, how they're they're feeling and what they're how they're reacting to those things. We one of the things we teach in the College of competence is the tea cycle and the tea, the tea cycle, or the tea technique. It's a method that helps you understand your thought patterns, your emotional patterns, and the action, whether you take action, whether you don't take action or whether you have a reaction. And so it's really important to understand how you're what you're thinking, how you're feeling, and how you're acting, and understanding your own

Unknown Speaker 22:33

tea, your own tea cycle. But then also understanding others. Understanding when somebody is rude to you, a random strangers rude, that they're probably they're acting rude, has nothing to do with you. They're acting rude because of an emotion that they're feeling, which might be frustration, because they might be thinking something like my boss thinks I'm dumb. And, uh, no matter what I'm never gonna get ahead, which creates frustration, which, when they're frustrated, you're walking around frustrated and negative, you're going to snap at random people.

Unknown Speaker 23:07

And so what are some quick hacks if you're if you're following the cycle, and this is especially the reason I'm adding this in as well, especially as we start into holiday season full blown, y'all, it we are around some people, we are going to be around lots of people who we love, but sometimes are hard to love, or sometimes are hard to interact with, or sometimes in large groups. And there's going to be something that you were supposed to be invited to that you didn't get invited to. But that was supposed to be and that you got overlooked or somebody says something rude and you take offense at it. And these large family gatherings and all politics comes up at the dinner table, whatever it might be. I want to invite you

Unknown Speaker 23:48

to go and just ask yourself, what would it look like to be loving here? What would it look like? to ground myself in gratitude? What would it look like? To not take offense? That there's this confidence hack to simply make a decision to not to not be somebody who's easily offended?

Unknown Speaker 24:13

And you might say that's great Trish, but I'm really I'm really sensitive me to I am so sensitive. And yet I was still able to make a decision to say I've decided to be a person who doesn't take offense Meaning I'm not going to personalize it when I feel like it's a personal attack or something really a dig. I'm just going to re

Unknown Speaker 24:35

frame that have a little conversation with that intrusive thought and say hey, Trish, this is probably not about you.

Unknown Speaker 24:44

They probably didn't mean it that way.

Unknown Speaker 24:47

I choose to release this.

Unknown Speaker 24:50

It sounds really simple because that will change your life this this holiday season I promise you ask yourself is this fact or fiction is the story of

Unknown Speaker 25:00

Telling myself about what this person is thinking about me what this person meant, what their intentions were? Do I have full fact that they meant to do this? Is it like, or am I making a story up? Is it fiction, my fictionalizing it so that I'm making it more about me and I can take offense. When you take offense, when you hold on to negativity, as a result of a personal interaction, you're holding on to intrusive, negative thoughts. When your thoughts are weighed down by negativity, your life will become negative.

Unknown Speaker 25:32

And I think it's really interesting to ask yourself, what are the triggers that make you personalize things and this is this is really, really good to be asking yourself before you go into the holiday season. What what makes you overreact?

Unknown Speaker 25:50

What makes you emotionally spiral?

Unknown Speaker 25:55

Here's another question. What makes you want to Gus up? Like to your sister in law and say, can you believe they did like I'm serious.

Unknown Speaker 26:03

Those are the things I want you to be on guard for. These are the we are in our mental fortress for the holiday season on guard for what's gonna make you lose your joy.

Unknown Speaker 26:17

And in a season of holiday with family and the preciousness of life, I want you to protect your joy, protect your happiness, protect, protect the the beauty of the connection time we have with others at this time of year.

Unknown Speaker 26:31

I can tell you my answer to that question.

Unknown Speaker 26:34

When somebody insinuates that I'm dumb, or I've missed a message, or they're rude, or they're unkind, I have to really, really, really check myself. And it can be so so so simple. There was actually when we were in Puerto Rico, there was someone I was messaging with on an Airbnb experience. And honestly, the it was it was a tech issue, where they thought they had sent me a message, or they had not. And then I said, Hey, can I get this information? We want to make sure we're on time and they said, Well, you already got it. I'm not going to repeat myself, please scroll up and the messages, scrolled up with the messages. It wasn't there.

Unknown Speaker 27:09

They'd send it to somebody else. And the whole time to though that would they were, I felt like I was reading their messaging, as if they were being rude and talking down to me as if I didn't understand technology. And I was sitting at lunch with my husband, I went Do you see this? And he was like, just it's not a big deal bib.

Unknown Speaker 27:31

And that was that's what woke me up to oh, I have personalized, over personalized allow myself to get a little spicy and fired up. Because I was offended that someone thought I was done.

Unknown Speaker 27:45

And that was it. Guys, this is good work. This is how you go. Where else do I need to grow? Oh, sounds like Trish needs some growth here. Sounds like I have an area I can start digging into and going huh? Why should I overreact to that? Why was it a big deal? They think I'm dumb. What's the big deal? So what?

Unknown Speaker 28:04

And what if it really wasn't what it's really they were having a bad day they were routing Their message has nothing to do with me. I point out No, I didn't actually get the meeting point. No harm, no foul, literally just two seconds of everybody's time to communicate again.

Unknown Speaker 28:19

And nothing has gone wrong.

Unknown Speaker 28:23

No needs to spiral no need to overreact, no need to overthink and get real flustered and get very flustered and overthink and overt and kind of repeat the scenario in my mind.

Unknown Speaker 28:34

None of it matters. You have to ask yourself.

Unknown Speaker 28:37

Does it matter? What if I just decided they didn't mean anything by it? What if I just decided that protecting the peace and joy of my mind is so much more valuable than standing at the edge of this mental fortress and then arguing with somebody just I can say, Oh, this doesn't belong here. Right? So get curious ask yourself, What makes you overreact? What makes you spiral a little bit.

Unknown Speaker 29:08

And I invite you this week, if you celebrate Thanksgiving and in the season to come

Unknown Speaker 29:16

to to celebrate life, to guard your thoughts. To protect your peace to do the work, to talk back to your brain and and create true joy to create a level 10 life a next level life and experience for yourself. And it all starts with your decision to live a beautiful life living a beautiful life starts in your own mind. And being on guard and protecting and talking back to the bully of intrusive thoughts and the bully of over personalization and overthinking and you can just say I'm done with that all I am too mature to get sucked into those those

Unknown Speaker 29:57

scandals and those mentals

Unknown Speaker 30:00

games against my piece.

Unknown Speaker 30:03

I'm going to stand in confidence, I'm going to stand in the truth that I can think about what I think about, I can choose my emotions on purpose. And I can decide to be a person who always takes action. So what is it that I need to take action on? And how do I create beauty in my day, today, and you start there. I have two quick announcements before we close today. One is no excuses. November is still happening. You can get signed up at Trish blackwell.com. Forward slash, no excuses. But more importantly, we have a special two part workshop four hours long, called do more in 2024. And pre registration is happening. Success is no accident. It's all about intention. And this is a workshop series that's going to help you unlock your full potential in 2024, you will walk away with a clear vision, an actionable plan, and personalized beliefs that will keep you on track and motivated all year long. I'm going to give you some expert guidance and help you overcome your past obstacles. So you can achieve your biggest goals and create your dream life, we're going to be teaching something really new and unique, called the action belief courage map. I'm calling it the ABC map. And it's not just a goal setting worksheet or vision board. It is the concepts of that covenant, traditional goal setting session. But I'm going to exponentially improve them by adding step by step actions aligned with milestones and dates, and then Pair that with vision and action components to deepen your core belief so that you can finally follow your goals all year long without losing confidence, or your belief in your ability to make your dreams come true. We're going to even outline together specific zones of discomfort that you're going to decide to pursue on purpose. So you can create trackable measure of accountability for your courage and consistency throughout the year as you pursue whatever your your more is in 2024. So we're gonna be doing a vision plan micro goals, massive action, habit hacks, power thoughts, this is for you if you want to make more money in 2024. If you want to create more time abundance in your life, or if you want to get more of your goals accomplished just a quick peek into what the do more schedule is, we're going to be meeting December 13, it's all virtual, December 13, December 20. And we have a VIP option that adds a third day, December 27. These are happening in the evening 7pm to 9pm Eastern Standard Time that everything is recording, recorded. So you can watch at your convenience, but we're gonna be doing we're going to start off into a back mapping and 10x vision, then we're going into decision setting and the why the who not the how, and some breakout coaching. On the next workshop session the week following, we're gonna talk about doing less of certain things and more of others, mastering the numbers of 10x in your life, incentivizing discomfort in helping you step into the discomfort zone. So you, you don't just talk about what you're going to do but you we have a plan for you to do the things that you don't want to do, but you're saying you're gonna do and then some breakout coaching and then we're gonna do some hot seat coaching for our VIPs how to 10x what's working and money abundant strategy, y'all this is you guys wait all year long for my end of year planning sessions, they always fill out we have expanded on it doubled the contents, so that it's even more effective than any of the past years, we've done that we've also brought the cost down so more people can participate. And we're capping it at 100 people so it's still stays an intimate and really, really effective coaching experience. So you can get started at Trish blackwell.com forward slash made for more, we only have 20 VIP spots they are already selling. And we are it's legit capped at 100. So if you know you want some you want an actual plan for 2024 you want to do more in 2024

Unknown Speaker 34:21

This is that come get four hours of live coaching with me and if you do VIP option, it's even more it's five and a half, six hours. It will be the key that changes your entire year and 2024 So sign up now we are going to be doing more promotions. So this is first come first serve Trish blackwell.com forward slash made for more. I'll put the link in the show notes as well. Guys, thanks for always as always for listening. I'm cheering you on. I want you to know you are somebody you hurt somebody and the way you are rising up in life right now.

Unknown Speaker 35:00

all matters.

Unknown Speaker 35:02

You're a world changer and a difference maker. Don't play small. be who God created you to be.

Unknown Speaker 35:12

Have a great week, guys. I'll see you next week. Make sure hit subscribe. And I'll see you here on the confidence podcast. Thanks for listening to the confidence podcast and allowing me to be your coach today in your life. If you love the show, please let us know by leaving a review in iTunes are encouraged by what you learned. share this episode with a friend and let us know that the show was changing your life by saying hi to us on social media Instagram, Trish underscore Blackwell are on Facebook Trish Blackwell coaching,

Unknown Speaker 35:42

ready to take what I teach and really take it to the next level. Join us today in the College of Confidence. It's a group coaching program that you can join risk free and cancel anytime in the COC your scale, your confidence, your courage, and the changes you make in your life. It's the coaching support and community you've been looking for. Go to www.collegeofconfidence.com to get started. If you love the podcast, you will love the College of confidence even more and see even more transformation in your life. Come and see for yourself.

Unknown Speaker 36:21

I'm cheering you on friend. See you soon

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Get started with thought work

Master a Highly Effective Journaling Habit

Download my custom created journal, The Toxic Thought Freedom Journal, and get 7-days of free coaching with me on how to journal with power and effectiveness.

Yes! I Need That