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You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Well, hey, there, you're listening to the confidence podcast. This is Trish Blackwell, your confidence Coach. And this is episode 570. We are going on a whole new angle. Today we're talking about how to start your big dream and change your life. And then I'm going to answer what my journey was. As far as how I got where I am. I hear so many of you reach out, go. Okay, how did you get your business where it is? How did you? How is it that you can travel and work? Like what does that look like? Where did you start? Did you fail? Did it was it easy? I'm gonna give you a little insight. So really, because it's less about my story, and more about yours? How can you believe in the future that you're creating? When there are small beginnings do not despise the small beginnings, my friend, because that is where we build upon the future, though little by little, you get big things done. And so we're gonna talk about today because the reality is, so many of you have big dreams, big ideas. And at the time, your big ideas, or you think, well, I need all this time to be able to start as you keep thinking about starting but not starting. It's time to start, we got to start, we got to start we got to start we got to start, the minute you make the decision to be decisive. Remember that decisiveness is an mark of confidence, just decide to start, everything else will work itself out. There are a couple of medical leafs that I coach on. And that is, everything is possible. Everything is learnable. Every problem is solvable. And I also believe every effort adds up. And so so often we want, we want a part time job or 20 hours extra week in our time margin to be able to start pursuing our big dreams. And instead honestly, we need to probably get off social media a little bit, turned Netflix off or Apple TV a little bit more frequently, and start saying if I'm going to invest and create the future that I want, I'm willing to do what other people are unwilling to do. So that is what we're coaching on today. I can't wait to drive in. Real quick though. We have an announcement the other day, I wanted to tell you so my family and I we were at the Jersey Shore at our house there. And we ran a festival and there was a vendor offering rum cake. Now guys, I typically don't like cake. And especially cake without icing. If you're a person who likes cake and not icing, I will be your cake friend. I love icing. I don't eat the cake. I don't like cake. I like icing. So my best friends in school when there was cake icing, they'd eat the cake. So I really wasn't interested in this rum cake because I had zero icing but the vendor was dynamic. And he'd said this like epic sampling table, and he was giving out these generous samples. And I was like, alright, well. And honestly, his enthusiasm was compelling. And it really made it hard to say no. And so I tried so hard. And my gosh, am I glad I did. It was some of the best cake I have ever tasted in my life. And I almost didn't taste it. I almost didn't know it. I almost bought it. Brandon was like buy some and I was like no, no, this is the type of cake that if I buy the cake, it's a one time one time experience because it's I know myself well enough in my relationship with food, there are certain things that it's one portion. But I really am gonna want eight I just don't buy it. This was that good. So here's why I'm telling you this story. Because it's not all related to what we're coaching on today. In life, you don't really know what you're missing out on until you get a taste of it. And that's why I want to invite you to taste what coaching is like, there's no better time than next week. On Wednesday, October 26. Actually, that's this week, folks. That's this week. That's tomorrow. Sign up today. Grab a spot, calm and listen to others get coach live. Come and ask for coaching yourself come and pick my brain about whatever's making you feel stuck in life just come but you've got to sign up it's 100% Free you go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash Q and then they and symbol A A to sign up now. So I hope to see you there. We're gonna highlight our review of the week. And also this person, if it's the person I think it is, is also my listener of the week because Keith yoga said this life changing content, I recently decided to step out of my comfort zone and say hi to a complete stranger. This nice conversation led me to this great content. I appreciate that Trish, there's so many personal stories about her life, which makes it so honest and relatable for information. I almost wish my morning commute was a little longer today. So I get finished the episode. This is the self help podcast is going to get me to take action, instead of just listening to 500 episodes before getting started. Although I think it is relevant to all human beings, I also look forward to sharing this with all the strong women in my life, Keith. Well, you don't know about Keith Guys, guys. He I'm the stranger he came up to I'm thinking. Anyways, Keith introduced himself, I was furiously working on my laptop at the gym, probably writing this outline for this podcast. And he just said, Hey, ask me a question about what I was training for. I had a great conversation. And Keith, I, I was gonna highlight you as a listener of the episode. Because I like what you said, you asked me directly, what have I done in the last month to stretch my comfort zone? Most people don't ask me that. I typically ask people that. I love that you asked me that. And then I asked you a couple days later, Hey, would you write a review if you liked the show and look at you following through? Thanks, brother, I appreciate it. You guys, you never know what stepping out of your comfort zone will do. What it will lead to are the new friends that you will make. So that's awesome. Keith, thank you. For the review. Guys. Thank you for sharing the show all of the good things. Let's dive in to today's topic, and really pull apart how to start your big dream, how to change your life. And it really starts with first knowing what you want in life, what's your big vision for life. And get really clear on that make a decision, don't overthink, just decide something because you can always pin it and start. So I found myself in this. And I'm telling you this because it's a very unusual position. I've never in my life imagined. This is what I would be doing yesterday. And I'm recording this a few weeks before we released this, my family and I have a trip fully paid off fully booked trip to Morocco planned for about a week and a half from now. And the nature of the world right now is feeling a little bit on a restful as you might know, if you're listening live, there's just a lot going on that we decided you know what might not be a great idea taking young children to North Africa, just potentially when there's just a lot of turmoil, like there are better times we can we can reschedule this trip we might lose some money.

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And in my relationship with my husband, I am the gas. He's the brakes. And he had opened up the window and said yes, for sure we could travel these dates. So I found myself in a panic yesterday going, where in the world do I want to go? Where am I going to go? And the first time in my life. I literally sat with my Expedia open the dates that I had in mind and said two weeks from now where in the world do I want to be? And and where do I want to like I went from y'all I almost bought tickets to Peru, I went let's go to Machu Picchu. And then I read some more. And then if you have never looked up Rainbow Mountain in Peru, look it up, then I did. So the thing is when I travel with kids, I decide what I want to do. And then I read travel blogs with families. And I find out all the reasons not to do it. Which is why now I'm not going to Peru with my kids currently at the age that they are with a two week notice. There were some hiking, we needed to train for it. We just didn't do it. Where week away. All that to be said I went from Peru to Iceland to maybe I'll go to Japan, maybe we will go to Sweden or this or I literally I spent hours. And we think we know where we've landed. I have not yet finalized everything. So you're gonna have to wait and see till next week, but feel real good about where we're gonna go in what we've pivoted our plans, all this to be said. You might be thinking like, okay, must be nice. And that's why I'm sharing it with you not to say it is nice, but to say I started honestly, 13 years ago, and I said to myself one day, one day I want to be able to open an app, and then very like within a short period of time go to that place. And in the past I'd always have to save for a year or two years to plan a trip and travel is really core to me and my soul and what this moves me and inspires me. And so travel I often cast the vision of my career and my dreams based on my location independence. And I share that because when you set your vision and you start taking massive action and you do the work, and you pivot the vision and you and you make sure you're a following the path of your purpose, and you keep showing up and you keep showing up, and you keep showing up very soon as in, I don't know, maybe 13 years, it might only be 13 months, you might find yourself literally pinching yourself going. I am. I mean, I had my Google Maps open, and I was scrolling, like turning the world around going inward. Where should we go? Where should we go? I've never in my life had that type of freedom, it was cool to also very proud of myself for pivoting my disappointment. And saying, Hey, we're just gonna pivot, we're gonna go to Morocco, but just at a different time, I'm gonna ride the camels that I want to ride, I want to, I'm gonna see the beautiful mosques and buildings that I want to see I'm an experienced that culture for all the richness that it has. But right now, I'm just going to pivot. And I used to be quite an inflexible thinker. And I'm so glad that this is a representation of it. And I just want to be, you might be new to the show, you might go Why is what are her big dreams, I just wanted to share with you that I actually lived out in the processing. Again, I'll tell you next week where we decided to go because I still have to book I have to cancel my flights, I gotta rebook, I got to do all the things. But I'm excited. Because I've realized this is what I've been working towards for 13 years. And I want you to know, whatever it is that you envision, whether it's the fire concept, you're financially independent, retire early, maybe you want a coaching business like mine, maybe you want to do Amazon drop shipping, and you have a business idea that maybe you just love your job, your job and your career and you want to maximize it you want to rise in the ranks and really be at that next level in that, that that that organization and, and have more impact and have more leadership and have more finances that that flow over into your family into a financial legacy. Or at what is it get a vision and just start chipping away at it. I just want you to know. And I say this, I say this lovingly but myself. I'm not special. Okay. I am not special now. Yes. Am I special snowflake? Yes. In many ways created by God. Absolutely. Purposeful Samer, so are you but in the How did I get to the point where I'm randomly deciding where in the world? I want to go with my family? And again, I told you, this is why I'm giving this context. I don't really, I'm not must be nice. No, it's because I'm not special that I'm telling you that. It's because I just was unwilling to stop showing up. And so I was willing to start. And I was willing to keep dreaming big even though so many people around me laughed at me. So many people around me said don't work so hard, just chill, or also so many pivots. So many things went wrong for me. And I need you to know some of that. So I want to we're going to share some of that today. But I just want you to say have the vision, keep believing in the vision. keep renewing the vision in your mind and then take keep taking massive, massive, massive action. Because I need you to know the story I just told you and the fact that my I get to work from home and I get to work for myself and from any country in the world that I want. And my kids have been in more countries than years they are to their age. And that for me was was was important. And yet, and yet, I started one I still have so so far to go and my vision and my dreams. So many more people I want to give these tools and resources to and again, I don't care if if if there if I just want to reach millions of more people with these life changing mindset tools. I don't care if I make another penny. When I started this podcast 570 episodes ago, actually, there were 34 episodes prior to this, they just, they kind of disappeared. They're on my website if you want to find them. But let's just say 600 episodes ago, I made a promise to myself, that I had something to say that would help people and that I would show up every single week on a Tuesday no matter what, whether one person listened, or a million. And that's what got me to get started to not judge the small start to not judge the 10 downloads, the 100 downloads, and now we're at millions and millions of downloads. But I started at zero. And I need you to remember that I need you to know that for yourself as well. I started at 00 listeners zero knowledge and also to be honest, zero belief. I just had good mentors in my life. And what set me apart. Again, not special. But what set me apart was that I was willing, and I'm still willing. I'm willing to try. I'm willing to work hard. I'm willing to fail. I'm willing to take risks are willing to pivot I'm willing to be transparent. I'm willing to be embarrassed, which is really hard. It's really hard for me. I hate being embarrassed, but I'm willing to be embarrassed. And I'm willing to be vulnerable. I'm willing to be wrong. I'm willing to get up at 4am. If necessary. I'm willing to run for 10 miles on the treadmill, that's my only option or run until I get all my emotions out. So I can think clearly and show up. For myself were promised and willing to not know but try anyway, I'm willing to manage my mind and work my belief, um, it's willingness. willingness, is what I want you to double down on willingness is what I want you to ask yourself, Am I willing, and willing to think that, you know, if you're listening to this, you know, you have more potential than you're tapping into, you know, you want more from life, you know, you have more to give to the world. The question now becomes, are you willing? Are you willing to be inconvenienced? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to be a beginner? Are you willing to, or pick back up something? Are you willing to pivot? Are you willing to seek help or mentorship? Are you willing to invest? Are you willing to say, I'm going to do the work? Because I know there's so much more available to me willingness is where I want you to start. Because if you go, how did I get started? concrete actions, create results. To truly believe that everything is possible. Everything is learnable. Every problem is solvable. And every effort that you put out, adds up that willingness to believe that you're there's no such thing as wasted effort, I think is the thing that's going to open the door and catapult you forward. And so what is my what is what is my journey? What what is that? What does it look like? For me, I started so I may or may not have this I grew up very blue collar. My mom was a stay at home mom, retired nurse, stay at home mom who homeschooled us. My dad was a union Pipe Fitter plumber, and had worked a lot 70 hours a week. And then we went to we had the privilege and opportunity to have full, various very generous scholarships to go to boarding school for high school. Then we went to some amazing post grad school as well, my brother and I, that's the we. And through that, I saw my mom work, I saw my dad hustle, I respected it. I loved watching them. I loved seeing that my dad would do whatever it took to get the overtime that was needed. I saw him have his own private plumbing business. On that one half a day that he was actually off. I saw my mom start Oh, dog walking business.

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In like the 90s when there wasn't as much of a thing, and she generated and she would give my brother and I some home home, some homework, some schoolwork, and then she'd go and she'd make some income for us. I just saw I saw people saying we're not settling. And then when I was 11 I and so I'd never really identified until it was in my 30s that I was truly born with an entrepreneurial spirit. And if you just look at the two facts I told you about my parents. They didn't. They weren't traditional entrepreneurs, but they had the spirit and they were when I was 11 years old. I started my first business I started a swim lesson business, which, as an 11 year old, you might think well, why isn't he gonna buy swim lessons from an 11 year old? Well, I was not a normal 11 year old swimmer, I had recently set a national record. And many people in my, in the swimming world knew that. And so as an 11 year old, I was making some bank half hour swim lessons in the 90s for for a very, very good rate and made a lot of meat 1000s of dollars. And it was really empowering. It made me realize I could create something from nothing, that I could use my skills, I started having to learn from that point, what I could do and how to think creatively. But fast forward to I went to school for linguistics, fluent in French and Spanish and I thought I was gonna go work for the CIA. And while that I was waiting for background in background checks, I went and lived in France and then I was waiting for the kind of the slow process that it is to get started in the government. And while I was waiting, I at that time I owed my parents a bunch of money from some overspending in my youth. And I lived at home and worked as a personal trainer to pay them back. And I fell so in love with the personal training industry that I just didn't continue pursuing the government dream job that I thought I had. And fit and fitness led to loving sales and psychology and true behavior change, which is what led me down to where I am now. And my linguistics or why I love the study of the brain and why I really believe that true change happens when we start talking in different language to ourselves. So my language skills are still actually it's really cool how God works. Actually primarily what I do is I help people change the language in their head and The language with which they think about their possibilities. So all that to be said, I worked a lot. And in the fitness industry, I worked for a big corporation had a fabulous six figure job. And that was very stable and, and, and got tons of bonuses and I was offered advancement, and I loved it. And it was easy, and it was fun. And I knew there was more because I didn't like having a certain number of vacation days, I would be frustrated that I only had five sick days a week and a fabulous company but only had five sick days and that the health insurance was okay. And that, you know, if I was there, I hadn't saved up and earned enough to have two weeks of paid vacation. But that went very quickly for somebody who likes to travel. And this is all while I was single and and so I had a friend who was a client of mine who said, Hey, let's, let's start a business together. And this isn't the rise of YouTube. And so he and I put a few $1,000 into a YouTube channel that we thought was brilliant. Here's what I know. It was not brilliant. It was not brilliant. We built the backend, he was a tech guy, we built the whole back end of this whole thing that we thought was going to be the mega resource for all these. The time very popular trend was hauling and showing off your clothes and this and we thought we had nailed the tween and teen and young 20s market. And we were going to it was we were going to crush it. Well, here's what happened, it crushed us, we lost a bunch of money. And at the time, my employees were would still make fun of it. They made fun of me so much for this. So that's also when it comes to willingness I was willing to fail. I was willing to tell people what I was doing and willing to hear them lovingly make fun of me when it did fail. And then after that I had a friend who said hey, you know, I like that you're always willing to try something I'm getting into the app development business, would you be interested in developing fitness apps? And the answer was like, No, I don't know anything about apps or technology. Also, I just lost a ton of money in a startup that was just embarrassing. And he said, Look, I think you I think you'll be great. I think there's a hole in the market. And so and he said, I'm so I'm learning how to build apps, I'll do it for you super cheap. And so I took a risk. And I had no idea what I was doing. took a risk. And it led to my first app was couch to half marathon. This was before Nike or any running apps had their apps out and it was a hit. And I learned about passive income and I learned about and then I also then invested 1000s and 1000s of dollars into more apps, many of which made $0 And then some that made some money. And that backup paid out four years on, but I gotta tell you, it was the friend who said just give us a try. And my willingness to try something new. When again, I didn't know a lot about it. And again, I had just failed. That is that I will commit Now the key is you've got to try something and commit to it. After that developed into some mentorship, and I started getting paid for coaching. And at this time, I'm still working 40 hours a week and at the time I was training for an Ironman 20 hours a week. Can you tell I was single. I was single. I wasn't dating my husband yet. But I started. I wanted to write a book. And that was the biggest thing I wanted. I went to publishing houses I had my my submission, I had the book written, nobody wanted to talk to me. They said we don't care about your book until you have people who care about your message. And that's the only thing y'all that got me started to block. And I've for about two years I blogged every single day. Now at this point, this is what I met my husband. And he and I dated long distance he lived in Northern Virginia, I lived in mid Virginia. And he on the weekends would have to lovingly wait for coffee while I said I got to do my blog of the day. And it was

Unknown Speaker 23:48

it was tedious.

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But it taught me consistency. And he was willing to do it. And I thought if I blog every day, I'll get paid advertising My blog is gonna blow up. Well guess what none of that actually happened. What blogging did was lead to podcasting. And that led to speaking opportunities. And that led to coaching consulting. And then before I knew it, wait a second, I was still working full time and starting to replace my income. And so that is how I started scaling out. And then when I got married, I still worked both jobs, do that for about two years. And when I finally when I got I went full time for myself when I became pregnant with my first child. And I went full time in on Trish Blackwell the brand. And I I left the guaranteed money from working for somebody. But that's because of two factors, one I had built up and scaled up over the years. And so there's a you're hearing that right there's about a six year period where I was working 50 or 60 hours a week doing both the full time job and my building the platform of my dreams and learning all the tech behind how to have a website how to market how to grow an email list how to do content marketing, how to and I share that I think sometimes you think, well, I'll just start this and that should be easy. We aren't guaranteed easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it. But it's also what I like to tell people in the College of confidence is both easy and hard. anything in life is both simple, and also sometimes complicated. But what is not complicated is your decision to start. And to just keep going. It is that simple. Sometimes people ask me, Why run. And now to be fair, I run six to seven days a week, I lift three to four times a week, I play pickleball. With my husband, I'm just an active person. But most people say, Well, what are you training for? And I used to race marathons. I have done iron Rand. I mean, it makes sense to ask when you see somebody who's running all the time, and I would like to do another marathon soon. Most recently did Chicago. And prior to that I did Boston. But right now my answer is I run so that I can practice not stopping. Because if I can show myself that on the treadmill, when I'm tired, and I'm not at the finish line that I had told myself, I was gonna do that day. And I want to stop. I love the mental battle to to keep going. I love telling myself Trish just practice not stopping. Because if I can do that, on the treadmill, I can do that on my business. If I do that, on the treadmill, I can do that in my personal life and the things that I'm working on in my own life.

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And so I wanted

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to share that there was this overlap, where I just really committed and it's not hustle, it was strategic, it was time blocked, I had very clear boundaries about my nine to five, which was not nine to five, by the way, but let's call it a nine to five, and my building my business. And I would be super focused on when I did have time to work my business to work it focused, and not get distracted by social media or the shiny object or not be discouraged when something didn't pick up after three months. You have to keep going. It's a willingness to keep going, which really then bears the question, how do you become a person of willingness. And by the way, let me let me close the let me tie the bow on the on the journey. I'm living my dream job. I'm living my dream life. And there's days it's hard. But most of the days are beautiful. But I still have goals and things I've not achieved. There's things, so many things that I am failing at all the time in my business, so many ways I stretch, I step into discomfort. And it's like, Well, that didn't go well. But I remember that I like failure, I look at failure as a stepping stone on the on the path to success. Success is a crazy River, and then getting the other side and using the stepping stones on the way. And that as long as I'm willing to feel all of my feelings and fail, I can do anything. So how do you become a person of willingness? Well, masters of anything, never stop until they achieve their goals. And unshakable grit is the key to any goal that you can envision, maybe you want a six pack abs, maybe you want the business of your dreams, you want to go to work from anywhere, maybe you want to retire early, maybe you want your marriage to be as as your 20th anniversary to be more life giving and more connected than when you got married, that you're better than every decade of your marriage gets better and better. Now to get to a goal like that, or any of the goals I just

Unknown Speaker 28:29

mentioned, you've got to have grit,

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you got to be willing, you got to be willing to do things other people aren't willing to do. And you've got to be determined to not give up. And you guys consuming information is useless unless it's followed by concrete action. And by the way, little plug the Be sure to subscribe. If you don't yet subscribe to this podcast, make sure you hit that follow button. Because we're having not this next week. But the week after that we're we have an upcoming future episode on taking massive action. We're gonna talk about taking action. We have some upcoming episodes on intrusive thoughts on how to make more money. There's some really good stuff coming down the pipeline. I also think about this, if you're a person who's willing, I think about the power you have being a person who leaves all of their feelings on the table and says I'm just going to take action. I'm going to embrace all the fields, I'm going to decide to be an example of what's possible. I'm going to take massive action. You become a person of willingness by deciding what you want and deciding that you're going to start. As Zig Ziglar said, you don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be great. Eleanor Roosevelt is one of the things we don't start reasons is we're afraid of people. We're afraid of people laughing at us if you drop that fear you open up all the opportunities. Eleanor Roosevelt said this small minds discuss People average minds discuss events and great minds, discuss ideas be a great mind. Pablo Picasso said action is the foundational key to all success. And Dale Carnegie said inaction breeds doubt and fear. I'm gonna read that one again. So I've more to the quote, but I want to stop there in action, lack of action breeds doubt, and fear. And I would add to overthinking and then indecision and then hesitation. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it, go out and get busy. Go out and get busy have a vision. Even if it's just to be a person who takes action on life. Even if it's a the person who says I just want to squeeze out the fullness of life, I want to hear well done good and faithful servant, I want to, I want to be somebody who says, Wow, that person is going for it. You know that I like that, that motivates me. You also have to be somebody who decides that there's no such thing as wasted effort, you're gonna be a person who just goes for it. And who believes that the effort is going to compound itself and that there are certain mistakes we have to make along the way. And if you go the wrong path, through the lessons that you're garnishing from that path are still applicable to the path you're going to pivot to, nothing is wasted. wrestle with the unknown, start playing with possibilities, sit down with your spouse and say, What if there's more? What if, what if there's more that I could do? And what is the wildest thing that I could dream is possible for me and for you and for us? And and another great way to ask yourself is wouldn't it be cool if dot dot dot, and then fill in the blank and decide to do it? I think we remove the layers of self imposed limitations and social conditioning. And you just start asking yourself, what's truly possible for me in this world, or how much more than a decade can I do, you will stop feeling so exhausted, because when you have purpose, you're fired up. We're not just getting through the day, the reason I was able to work so many hours for so many years, while I was working full time and building my my brand, my platform, my business as because the work that I was doing on my business, while it was focused, it wasn't work. It was passion, it was vision. It was easy to show up for because I believed in it now, if you're trying to show up for something, and you're struggling, I think is a question of belief. You don't believe in it enough yet. If you want to deepen how to believe in your big dreams we do. We have a lot of courses that are instant access already available on the college or competence, plus workshops and live coaching all the time on that. You can check that out at College of confidence.com Of course, I hope you will be joining us for tomorrow's live coaching. Again. You gotta grab your spot, though. It's at Trish blackwell.com forward slash Q and A. And if you jammed out on this episode, other episodes, some throwback I mean, like throwback throwback episodes that you're gonna like our episode 191 How to take massive action, and then episode 226 how to make your small actions have a big impact. I hope that you're inspired to be a person of action, a person of decision and a person of willingness. You do those things, you're unstoppable. Take the action today. share this episode with a friend if resonated with you. Say hi to me on Instagram, or Facebook. I'm Trish underscore Blackwell on Instagram and Trish Blackwell coaching on Facebook. Now go out there today could be more of who God created you to be.

Unknown Speaker 33:39

Be he'll be free.

Speaker 1 33:43

If you loved today's episode of The confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com.The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee. Hey, joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai