In this episode we explore the balance between confidence, happiness, and the reality of experiencing negativity and sadness. When you give yourself permission to feel the full range of human emotions, your emotional fitness increases and your ability to take action in life when you’re feeling down becomes more natural. This episode is for anyone who wants to live a positive life and make a positive impact; you’ll learn how to not be discouraged by the negativity and setbacks you experience along the journey of purpose and impact.
All your feelings.
Learn to understand them.
Make friends with them.
Normalize and neutralize.
5N Process for Feeling:
Notice (awareness and curiosity)
Narrate (talk as if you were it and then talk to it)
Normalize (this is part of being human, let it make sense)
Neutralize (expand your perspective and reframe)
Next (decide what new emotion you want to start to generate or the new path forward)
The more you are willing to feel, the more you can achieve in life.
I held myself back (unknowingly) because I was afraid of feeling
It’s okay to feel this sometimes.
Learn to not run from it – to avoid or numb or buffer it.
Know your triggers, energy patterns and hormonal patterns
Seasons of negativity – when everything feels like it’s going wrong.
I notice this in myself when I struggle to reframe, when my brain offers cynicism, when I feel like giving up, when I snap at my husband or when I’m impatient with my children. Don’t judge this – open to it.
If you keep thinking things are going to be hard, they will be.
-Am I making this harder than it seems?
-How is today easy in some ways and hard in others?
(I notice I get fixated on how far something is when I feel like my day is hard or that it’s going to be hard – I then start to feel sorry for myself; know where your negativity voice stems from — mine comes from a victim mentality / it shouldn’t be this hard / it’s not fair)
Question and get curious:
-Am I managing my mindset?
-Have I allowed some of my habits of excellence to get sloppy?
-Where am I allowing negative influences in?
-How often am I proactively reframing my thoughts?
-Am I insisting on positivity and possibility in my life?
Emotional maturity and the ability to feel your feelings opens the gateways of life.
This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/CONFIDENCEPOD and get on your way to being your best self.”
Sometimes we’re faced with a crossroads in life, and we don’t know which path to take.
Whatever it is, therapy can help you map out your future, and trust yourself to find the way forward.
I’ve benefited from working with a therapist in many transition points of my life, from the season of being single into being married, as well as my season of becoming a mother. Having a trained therapist to help me understand my feelings was essential.
It’s helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries; it empowers you to be the best version of yourself; it isn’t just for those who’ve experienced major trauma;
If you’re thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.
It’s entirely online. Designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.
Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists any time for no additional charge.
Let therapy be your map, with BetterHelp.
Be open, get curious, be kind.
Spend time passively scrolling on social media
Buffer or distract yourself with food or drink
Beat yourself up
Tell yourself that you shouldn’t feel the way you feel
Judge yourself for your sadness because your “life is really good”
Slow down, be kind.
Work through the 5N Process
Recharge and refresh yourself and your brain.
Intentionally seek out positive or uplifting influences
Workout or move your body / change environments
Give yourself permission to dream
Engage in a creative outlet
Master your emotional fitness level, join us in the College of Confidence, where we have an instant access course on how to feel your feelings, thought management and intentional confidence building. Get started at www.collegeofconfidence.com
#551: When Life is Unfair and You Feel Behind
#532: The Victim Mindset
#522: How to Break Negative Self-Talk Patterns
Hi Trish! I want to let you know that your podcasts have really helped me, and you are doing great things. I wanted to make a request for a podcast if you wouldn’t mind? It would be on how to let go and love yourself after things you regret and can’t change. I had a eating disorder (bulimia), was suicidal at one point, and was severely depressed. There is a lot of shame that I am having trouble moving past and it’s been years. Your podcasts have helped a lot and I was wondering if you could incorporate that or reference me to some already made ones? If you do decide to make one similar to this could you message me when you do? I feel a lot of people struggle on things that feel they can’t move past that really hold them back, maybe it would benefit more people than just myself. If you do decide to do this, would you please protect my privacy? Thank you anyways!