Podcast #557

 

NOT MEASURING UP

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t measure up in your life, this episode is for you.  The feeling of not feeling “enough,” or like you’re not doing enough, or not popular enough, or not ready enough is not as uncommon as you think. The unnecessary pressure we put on ourselves can tarnish and damage our confidence and keep us from the life we are meant to live, not to mention make life harder on yourself than it needs to be. 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re coaching on:

• 5 Ways to Believe You Measure Up
• Redirecting Comparison 
• How to Create Your Own Standards

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

QUOTES ON NOT MEASURING UP

The deepest fear we have, ‘the fear beneath all fears,’ is the fear of not measuring up, the fear of judgment. It’s the fear that creates the stress and depression of everyday life. -Tullian Tchividjan 

Never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. -Jon Acuff

We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and n3ever measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don’t accept others the way they are. -Miguel Angel Ruiz

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Coaching Certification – live session tomorrow Wednesday 7/26 at 7PM EST

Join me at www.trishblackwell.com/zoom

1:1 for high achievers – doctors, lawyers, overthinkers – your life is great and people see you as massively successful, and yet you feel anxious and awful most of the time and question your path; if this is you, find out more and fill out an application to chat with me about if coaching is right for you at www.trishblackwell.com/coaching

5 WAYS TO BELIEVE YOU MEASURE UP

Change the Language You Use

Train Your Brain to Find the Good

List and Track Your Wins

Commit to Daily Intentional Gratitude

Get Obsessed with the Long Game / With Showing Up 

THOUGHTS THAT CREATE PRESSURE / NOT-ENOUGHNESS

I’m not ready.

I’m not doing enough.

They’re better than mean….

People will think that I ….

I can’t mess this up…

There’s too much to do…..

DECIDE ON YOUR MEASURING STANDARDS

Who are you measuring yourself against?

What do you actually want?

How much are you distracting yourself by watching what other people 

Track your own progress.

Insist on doing The 3/3/3 Method

Celebrate your micro-milestones

FOCUS YOUR MIND ON YOUR OWN VISION

Know what you want – and stay singularly focused on that.

With focus you won’t care what other people think.

Believe your own vision and progress is inevitable. 

REDIRECT COMPARISON 

Become someone who insists on mental management.

-No longer can you say “I am comparing, I just can’t help it.”

-Do something about the comparison: reframe, wish them well, ask yourself what you can do to move yourself forward, put blinders on your blind spots / bumpers in your gutters

Understand what indulging in comparison (even if “innocently”) is doing to you and taking from you. 

-It glitches your happiness and flow

-It drives you into despair and negativity

-It puts the breaks on your own life

OTHER RELATED EPISODES TO CHECK OUT:

#545: Compare & Despair

#466: How to Think Better Thoughts

#433: How to Be Your Own Validation Voice

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE