Podcast #551



Life can feel and be massively unfair. But you don’t have to let unfairness be a disadvantage. You can create your own unfair advantage so that you no longer feel behind or feel like you’re starting from a disadvantaged place. Learn exactly how to reframe how you think about your life so that you can use your exact circumstances to create confidence, power and breakthrough. You’ll get all of the tips you need in this episode of The Confidence Podcast. 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re covering:

  • Unfairness and how to reframe it in your life so it doesn’t hold you back 
  • How to create your own unfair advantage, no matter your circumstance
  • The relation between unfairness, being behind and trusting yourself


 Life is Unfair and Feeling Behind .Podcast review


  • “The only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli
  • “Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.” – Oscar Wilde

It exists for everyone. It is a universal experience.

That is to say – some people have more unfairness than others. Dwelling on this is not helpful and doesn’t serve you.

Decide that you don’t need things to be fair to succeed.

In fact, you thrive on being the underdog, on being an overcomer.

I’m not talking about unfairness in social justice.

We still fight. We still stand up for those who don’t have a voice. We still advocate. We do what we are called to do BUT we just don’t obsess about the limitation it is creating in our own lives. Those who make history are the ones who break through the limitation and barrier – the unfairness that is there and do it anyways. 


In 1967, Kathrine Switzer became the first woman to run the Boston Marathon. At that time, women were not allowed to participate in the marathon due to the belief that women were not physically capable of running long distances. However, Switzer registered for the race using her initials “K.V. Switzer” and was accepted. During the race, one of the officials tried to physically remove her from the course, but she persisted and completed the race. Switzer’s determination and courage inspired many women to participate in long-distance running, and she became a symbol of the fight for gender equality in sports. Switzer went on to run 39 marathons, and in 1972, women were finally allowed to officially participate in the Boston Marathon. Switzer’s pioneering efforts paved the way for future generations of female runners and helped to break down barriers in sports and beyond.

Nick Vujicic is an international motivational speaker who was born with a rare condition known as Tetra-Amelia syndrome, which resulted in him being born without arms and legs. Despite the challenges he faced growing up, including bullying and depression, Vujicic found hope and purpose through his faith and his desire to inspire others. He began speaking publicly at the age of 19 and has since spoken to millions of people in over 65 countries, sharing his message of hope, resilience, and determination. Vujicic’s powerful speeches have touched the lives of countless people, and he has become a role model for those facing adversity. He is also a successful author, with several best-selling books to his name. Through his work, Vujicic has shown that anything is possible with the right mindset and attitude, and that true strength comes from within.

Rosa Parks was an American civil rights activist who became a symbol of the fight against racial segregation in the United States. In 1955, Parks was arrested in Montgomery, Alabama, for refusing to give up her seat on a bus to a white passenger, as required by the segregation laws of the time. Her act of defiance sparked the Montgomery Bus Boycott, a 381-day protest led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that ultimately led to the desegregation of public transportation in Montgomery. Parks’ bravery and determination inspired a generation of activists and helped to ignite the Civil Rights Movement. Throughout her life, Parks continued to fight for racial equality, working with various civil rights organizations and speaking out against injustice. Her legacy continues to inspire people around the world to stand up against discrimination and fight for social justice. Parks received numerous honors and awards for her activism, including the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and is remembered as one of the most influential figures in American history.


Focus on what you can control: Instead of dwelling on things you cannot change, focus on the things that you can. For example, focus on developing skills that can help you overcome unfairness.

·  Look for opportunities: Instead of seeing the unfairness as a roadblock, try to look for opportunities that might arise from the situation. For example, you may be able to learn from the experience and become more resilient.

·  Reframe your thoughts: Try to view the situation from a different perspective. Instead of seeing it as unfair, try to see it as an opportunity for growth or learning.

·  Practice gratitude: Focus on the things in your life that you are grateful for, even in the face of unfairness. This can help shift your mindset and make it easier to cope with difficult situations.

·  Seek support: Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Talking about your feelings can help you process them and come up with strategies for dealing with unfairness.

·  Take action: Instead of feeling powerless, take action to address the unfairness. This may involve advocating for yourself, standing up for others who are experiencing unfairness, or working to change systems that perpetuate unfairness.

·  Practice self-care: Make sure you are taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.


Creating your own unfair advantage requires a combination of self-awareness, strategic thinking, and consistent effort. Firstly, you need to identify your strengths, passions, and unique abilities. This involves understanding what you do well, what you enjoy doing, and what sets you apart from others. Secondly, you need to develop skills and knowledge in areas that align with your strengths and goals. This may involve taking courses, networking, seeking mentorship, or reading books. Thirdly, you need to leverage your skills, knowledge, and network to create opportunities for yourself. This may involve taking calculated risks, exploring new ventures, or positioning yourself in a way that showcases your strengths. Finally, it is important to continuously learn, adapt, and innovate to maintain your advantage over time. While creating an unfair advantage may not be easy, it is a worthwhile pursuit that can lead to greater success, fulfillment, and impact in life.

Unfair Advantages You Can Create:

Your story and your experiences

Your habits

Your attitude

Your determination

Your interior life

Your reading advantage 

Your resilience and the challenges you have overcome

Your internal self-talk and inner language

Your ability to believe


Trusting Yourself to Follow Through

Trusting yourself requires faith and effort.

You can’t be distracted by unfairness or anything that is coming against you.

Often we lose sight of what we are creating in life because we are too focused on what is not right, but is set up against us and why we should be discouraged —- in doing so we waste opportunity and waste life! We lose the ability to TAKE ACTION and SHOW UP, and when you don’t show up then you break your self-trust and self-reliance.

When you don’t take action…

-You get behind on your goals

-You feel behind in life – and create procrastination as a baseline

-You start looking around at those accelerating their lives and feel jealous – and dare I say – like things aren’t fair. 

You have to have the courage to dream – and then the emotional willingness to get serious about what it will take to make that dream / idea become real.

I’m in France. Walking the gardens with my children, buying fresh baguettes from the bakery down from our AirB&B, and being a local. We have a month here (well, with a little beach trip to Nice and Monaco thrown in). 

Let me be clear. I didn’t have the means, the time freedom or the “how” in how this dream would happen 10 years ago when I decided on it in Bora Bora.

I asked myself:

-What will it take for me to be location independent?

-How can I grow my business so that working internationally contributes to the growth of my business in a necessary way?

-What would it cost to live somewhere for a month?

-How can I do that with a family – what values will my family have around traveling?

Once you know what you want – then you have to do the work.

The unfair distractions I could have allowed keep me from action, from belief, from self-trust, from follow-through:

I’ve been abused. I don’t have guaranteed income. I didn’t come from a family with money. I am not sure how to make the money I need to make to create this location independence. I’m not pretty enough. I have young children as I build my business. I didn’t marry a rich man.  I’ve failed a lot and not everything has come easily to me. 

The work is: 

Get some ideas of what might work.

Try those things.

Keep doing them if they work.

Pivot and try something new if they don’t.

Massive action

Massive action

Massive action

Stop telling yourself it’s too hard.

Stop telling yourself you’re too far from the goal. 

Stop telling yourself you didn’t go into the right field or get the right education.

Stop telling yourself all the reasons it won’t work.


 Life is Unfair and Feeling Behind .listener's feedback


You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, guys, it's Trish Blackwell, and you're listening to the confidence Podcast, episode 551. We're talking about a topic I think is gonna stick with you. It's gonna resonate with you. And I hope it challenges you because here's the deal. Truth be told, life can feel massively unfair. But you don't have to let the unfairness be a disadvantage. You can create your own unfair advantage, so that you no longer feel behind or feel like you're starting from a disadvantaged place. We're going to talk today about exactly how to reframe how you think about your life. So that you can use your exact circumstances, your exact background, your exact limiting, quote, unquote, limiting factors to create confidence to create power to create breakthrough, you're gonna get everything you need in this episode with the competence podcast, as always, you can get the full show notes at Trish blackwell.com, forward slash 551. And I just want to say thank you to everybody who is reaching out and saying, Hi, I know you're following me, my family and I are living the dream I and I share that not to make you feel like life's unfair. But actually to prove my point here that I decided 10 years ago, and you heard this if you haven't listened to Episode 547, my 40th birthday podcast which we talked about a self talk that changed my life and the self talk that was changing at the difference of how we thought and how I talked to myself at when I was 2030 and 40. But also the decisiveness I had as a 30 year old to say, every 10 years, I'm going big for my birthday. And so and then what do I do, I made big declarations, but I've been disciplined in the margins discipline when other people aren't been willing to do and try and fail and take risks and get back up and be massively resilient. To create micro progress that eventually when you look at it, 10 years later, it looks like massive progress. And the same will go for you. And so I just want to be I want to be an example of what's possible. I just, I was a little girl from Lake of the Woods, Virginia, middle of Boondocks who were had parents who said, and truly made her believe that anything is possible. And I don't care if you were a little girl, when you heard that, or if you're just hearing it for the first time in a real way that you can believe today for me. But truly anything is possible. You've got to decide what you want, then you've got to do the work, he got to commit, and you got to be willing to fail and fall along the way. And I owe that belief to my parents. And I just say that right now. And I also owe a lot of my freedom and my willingness to take big risk to my parents who never really understood why I love France or why I do the things I like and I'm definitely way more extra in general than my family. You know, I accessorize I wear big earrings. My mom hates jewelry, I love makeup, she hates I'm just different. I've always been the little black sheep of my family. And the but they've always supported and they said we don't need to understand, but go for it. So the freedom that they gave me and I want to give you that same freedom. I want to give that same freedom that you can decide what you want your future to have, and you can start working your way to it. And I 10 years ago, I was well 12 years ago, I was inspired by the concept of of location independence and be able to create my own business that would allow me to work from anywhere in the world. And at the time, I didn't think I was gonna have a family or children. So it was a pretty believable concept. Well, then I met my husband fell madly in love and decided and about my whole future was going to be different than what I had originally thought but I still wanted the vision of travel travel has been so formative to me and expanding my my my thought life and how I think and how I understand the world and my relationship with God. And God has spoken to me in all different areas of places around the world and through the experience of travel. And I wanted that continue. So here I am with my family. I am working you can email me Tell me I want to say hi I'm saying hi. Working from Paris. We have this epic view of the Eiffel Tower are about to go down to you via phone or mail. And again, if you're listening live and you are in France and you are living in Paris or nice. Let me know send me an email. I would love to grab coffee We do I'm sincerely open invitation. We'd love to meet you, we'd love to connect, we're gonna be doing more live opportunities to connect as a podcast community down the road, but I'm really, really serious. So my email is Trish at Trish blackwell.com Send me a message. And let's meet, let's have coffee, or glass that glass of champagne would love to. So what you decide you want, you can have you can create, you got to work hard. But we cannot stay camped out in disadvantaged disempowering places, that our circumstances are that our past are holding us back. So first, we got to drop that the past is holding you back. It's not. In this episode of the conference podcast, we're gonna be covering unfairness and how to reframe it in your life. So it doesn't hold you back how to create your own unfair advantage, no matter your circumstances. This is what I did for myself. And I want to give to you, it's a great approach to thinking about the things that you think disadvantage you and how to use them to give yourself some inner swagger to give yourself that mental edge, and then the relation between unfairness and then being behind and then and also learning to trust yourself. Before we dive into that our review of the week is from Kayla array. She said life changing. Wow. I wish I had more words to say about how I feel about this podcast. I started listening a couple months ago and after feeling after feeling defeated, I believe it was God that led me here. This podcast has been key to helping me change the narrative of my story. Not too long ago, I listened to an episode. And one of the things that Trish said is your story is not over yet. Man, I cannot wait to see how changing the inner dialogue will change my story. And I can't wait to see what God's stars in my heart because of this podcast. Thank you Trish, and keep up the amazing work. And I would agree with that. I want to hear that. I want to repeat that. For anyone who hasn't heard this, your story's not over yet. Whatever chapter you are in the book of life that you're in, you have no idea what the chapter the next chapter will hold. And what the current struggle, the current unfairness, the current, whatever's brought you to this podcast. What that setup is, for the hero chapter that's to come. A good story needs challenge needs setbacks needs struggle. So rather than claiming that saying, This is how my story ends, let's just say my story is just beginning. I mean, that I spent a lot of my life thinking my story was over, I want to learn that my story was just beginning, I just realized that the future is bigger than my past. And that is one of our five core pillars of confidence. If you haven't yet listened to our coaching on that, that's Episode 540, where I break down the five core pillars, pillars of competence, which are I'll briefly tell you them and but if you haven't listened, it's a really core episode to listen to, to help you know where to really dig deeper for your confidence growth. But we've got to know who we are, we got to know that we matter. We got to know what we want. We've got to know how to think. And we've got to know that our future can be extraordinary. So your future is extraordinary. And you get to decide what that extraordinary means to me. Extraordinary means being with my children, you guys, we bought these little scooters, they travel they go into, they fold into third because my I can remember being 20 years old in Paris and just going Okay, kids in Paris on little scooters are the cutest thing I've ever seen. And I said to myself, I'm not going to have kids. But if I did, I would have my kids ride a scooter in Paris. And you know what, here we are, that is what we're doing. And it's it's a vision that is just delighting my soul. So what is extraordinary to me might be different for you. But that's fine. Just I want you to say there. I just want you to believe there's so much more out there. And I need you to know I didn't come from somebody who's failing who taught me how to do business. I came from a family who was willing to my dad always had a side plumbing business. My mom started her own dog walking business. So I would say I come from an entrepreneurial family. But that wasn't our main source of income. Those are supplemental my parents were creative. And they did they did what they needed to do. It was amazing. But I is before you go well that of course Trish, I need you to know I don't have any advantage that you don't I'm just a girl from like other woods whose mom was a stay at home mom and dad was a plumber. Let's keep it simple. Everything's available to you. Let's talk about unfairness one of the things that we don't allow in my in my family in with the children is we do not allow our kids to say unfair in fact, they think unfair is like the is like the four letter is like a four letter word or the F word. You know, my kids are at the age where they're like, oh, somebody at school said the F word today and they're they're very into like, you can't say that and can you believe and why not? They want to ask these questions, but they also go oh, hey, mom. I heard somebody say that it wasn't fair. Like can you believe it? And I'm like, yeah.


What Brandon and I want our kids to know is that yes, let's just accept that life is not Fair. So we don't allow our kids to say, well, that's not fair. Because you know, siblings do that. And often it isn't fair. Hey, he got a push pop. I didn't. Well, why did she get to stay from homes? home from school? And I didn't Well, she was sick. But that's not fair. You're right. It's also not fair that she's sick. Right? You go, if we're going to argue with reality, we're going to waste our lives. Dr. Steve Mehra boldly said this, the only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair. Oscar Wilde said this life is never fair. And perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not. I really think it's interesting to consider because it's easy to look at how many people have more advantages than us, or had you know, whether their parents were together and years worn, or they had financial means or an educational background, that the people have supportive people that you didn't, but there's always people worse off than you. Like, I think when we focus on what's unfair, we we also forget how advantaged we are. Even if you look in the context of my life is it's unfair because I didn't get the support. And I didn't have teachers, whatever it is, whatever your story is, how about the fact that it's as a woman in 2023, the privilege and the advantage we have just that we have rights, that we get to vote that we can advocate for better pay that we we are Yeah, we're still fighting. There's still a lot of discrimination and things that we're overcoming. But um, it's not 1700 I'm really glad I wasn't born in I was born in 1983. I'm really glad I wasn't born in 1283. Right, I Vantage I have unfair advantage that a woman and 1283 wouldn't have had. And so we want to just I really like this the only thing that makes life unfair is the illusion that it should be fair, so exists for everyone. And it's a universal experience. And that is to say that there I need you to to hear me clearly to before you. Over internalize this, though. Some people do have more unfairness than others. Right? I could say that. It's like you might be looking at me and go, Well, your parents. You had two parents. You were born in America. You were this you can list that out. And now maybe I can look at that. And you could have a look on paper. Myself versus someone else. One of my dear friends was born and lived in Bosnia during the Bosnian war to get to school. He had to dodge bullets. It's not an exaggeration. I would say that his experience of childhood was unfair. He had more unfair his, his father passed. Yeah, I still have to living parents. That's not fair. And so let's acknowledge that there are some people who have more hate cards that are handed to them that might not appear fair, but it's what you do with them. dwelling on them is not helpful and does not serve you. It's just it's a waste of emotional energy. And so I just I think what I really want you to take away is that I want you to decide that you don't need things to be fair to succeed. In fact, you thrive on being the underdog on being an overcomer. I want that to be your story. I don't need things. To be fair. I love the unfair advantage because everyone loves a good underdog story. Everyone loves a good comeback. Now, by the way, I'm not talking about just saying, Oh, it is unfair. That's like we leave it we don't fight for fairness. Especially when it comes to social justice. We still fight we still stand up. For those who don't have a voice. We still advocate we still do what we are called to do, but we don't obsess on the limitation that is creating in our lives. Those who make history are the ones who break through the limitations and the barrier. The unfairness that is there. There's a barrier there's a limitation of unfair fairness, but they do it anyways. I have three examples of people who took act. They took action in spite of massive unfairness and they change history. So in 1967, Catherine Switzer became the first woman to run the Boston Marathon and at the time, women were not allowed to participate in the marathon due to relief. Wait for it. This is 1967 y'all. Due to the belief that women were not physically capable of running long distances. We're not talking 1867 We're talking 1967. However, Switzer registered for the race using her initials, K v. Switzer and was accepted during the race, wanting the officials. I get chills even just thinking about this. One of the officials she's mid race, one of the officials tried to physically remove her from the course, but she persisted and completed the race, Switzer his determination and courage inspired many women to participate in long distance running, and then she became a symbol of the fight for gender equality in sports. Switzer went on to run 39 marathons and in 1972. So five years later, it took Five years that women were officially allowed to participate in the Boston Marathon. So it's theirs pioneering effects paved the way for future generations of female runners, myself included. I've run the Boston Marathon to help break down barriers in sports and beyond. Now, you many of you have also heard of MC might say his last name wrong, so, but you'll know who I'm talking about Nick? View. cmrt already stumbling, Nick, view to check. Where's Conlon? Nick, Nick V. We're going Nick V. He's an international it's about V. uj. I see. I see. He's an international motivational speaker who was born with a condition that resulted in being born without arms and legs. So let's talk about physical That's unfair. It's unfair that I have two arms that work and two legs that work and Nick doesn't. But you guys, you probably are know who I'm talking about? Because he's inspired that many millions of people worldwide. So despite these challenges that he faced growing up that can you imagine the challenges of being born with no arms and no legs, including bullying and depression. Nick found hope and purpose in his faith and his desire to inspire others. He began speaking publicly at the age of 19, and has since spoken to millions of people in over 65 countries, sharing his message of hope and resilience and determination. He's been he's become a role model for people facing adversity. He is a successful author with several best selling books to his name. He has shown that anything is possible the right mindset, and attitude and that true strength comes from within, he could have felt sorry for himself. He could say what can I do, I don't have arms or legs. There's so much more. And then of course, guys, he got Rosa Parks come on American civil rights activists who became a symbol of the fight against racial segregation in the United States. It was in 1955, that Parkes was arrested in Alabama Montgomery, for refusing to give up her seat on the bus to a white passenger that was required as required by segregation laws of her time. And her act of defiance. One woman, one woman in a segregated world started this domino effect of change. So even in spite of unfairness, we can't maybe change everything immediately. But one act that you do one decision, one thing that you can say I can still things don't need to be fair for things to change, I can be an underdog and still succeed. Her act of defiance sparked Montgomery boy, bus boycott, which was a 381 day protest, led by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. That ultimately led to the desegregation of public transportation in montgomery. So little history lesson. We all know this you, Rosa Parks is a common name of a historical figure. But her bravery and determination inspired a generation of activists and generations after her to ignite the civil rights movement. And it's just it's like, she's, she truly is. Remember, it's one of the most influential figures in American history. And it wasn't fair. But it's what you do in the face of unfairness that matters. So what can you do? Well, you're going to start by focusing on what you can control, instead of dwelling on things you can't change, focus on the things you can look for opportunities. So instead of seeing the unfairness that's ahead of you, whatever it might be circumstantial, or maybe it's unfairness in the structure of your workplace, unfairness in how your body type versus one that you wish you had, try to look for the opportunities, look, look for the good find something good about what you've got, and decide that you are because of this, this unfairness, this disadvantage, you are actually have the advantage of resilience. And then of course, we reframe our thoughts. You can reframe anything to leverage yourself here. practice gratitude the foot by focusing on the things in your life, that you're grateful for even the space of unfairness. You can shift your mindset and go from a place of being disempowered to being empowered. And then taking action. It's so critical so that you don't feel powerless. Even if it's micro action. How do you think Rosa Parks knew that? Not giving up her seat not standing up, would spark such change? Do you think that Catherine would think I'm going to run this marathon and that generations to come women will still baffled the fact that they couldn't were they weren't, quote unquote, considered physically capable. That was a societal unfair limitation. You do not underestimate the power of an action that you take, no matter how big no matter how small, that could when you are experiencing unfairness or you feel disadvantage, that you would change the system that perpetuates unfairness. And then really too it's also real Be critical that you practice self care. Make sure you're taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally, make sure you're working with a therapist or that you're LinkedIn and you have a coach in your life. Somebody who speaks truth over you remind you of how capable you are to do big things to overcome, anything that you feel like is a disadvantage. And then also the basics of getting enough sleep, staying off of too many screens, engaging in things that bring you joy and relaxation. But more than anything, I wanted to spend a couple minutes today talking about how to decide to create your own unfair advantage, right. So you when we are disadvantaged, or things are unfair, you can look and go. It's not like, I wish I had an unfair advantage. If I thought about this, I remember being a kid. And in swimming, I essentially am five foot four, which is short for swimmer, but I was this tall when I was 10. So as a 10 year old, I was tall. Unfortunately, now at 40. I'm the same height. So you can imagine how this proved to be a little bit of a challenge when I was in my teens and in my 20s. And I was competing, because I went from being the tallest kid to then being the shortest. And I remember looking at my my tall teammates and just being thinking, it's just not fair, you have this unfair advantage over me. When you get on the block, and you jump you get further, when you're swimming in the pool feel good your body lengths in the pool versus mine, you swim less your body takes up more space, you get further you have less strokes to take. Or we could put this in in a basketball example. And you can look at a seven foot player versus a five foot four player and say, If I'm going if I'm playing basketball against maybe the seven foot, they have an unfair advantage, they can rebound I can't jump to a V, they're gonna rebound the ball if I'm right next to them.


But you can create your own unfair advantage. And this is it's a combination of self awareness, symmetries, strategic thinking and consistent effort. So first, you have to identify your strengths and passions and your unique, unique abilities. You've got to know what sets you apart from others. Second, you've got to develop those skills, you've got to become the best in that area. You want your knowledge to align with your strengths and your goals and you to be masterful at it. And that might mean you you go and you you practice longer, you get more training, you get coaching specifically on this, you get more networking and mentorship or you read more books about this specific strength of yours. Then you leverage your strengths. You leverage your skills, your knowledge and your network so that it creates opportunities for yourself. And you know when to take calculated risks. You know how to learn you're developing a growth mindset. And here are just a few unfair advantages that you can create for yourself. You're you can consider that your story and your experiences give you an unfair advantage. Your struggle of your past gives you an unfair advantage because you know if you've gotten through your past then you can identify as an overcomer. So come whatever struggle that may you can overcome your habits. You know, one of the things that I love it mentally for myself that when I'm feeling discouraged, or I need a little bit of edge to what I'm doing in my own self talk is I'm like wait girl, you your your unfair advantage is your willingness to do things no matter what. My habits are my unfair advantage. My journaling, my two minute journaling routine is my inherent unfair advantage. If you haven't yet, if you're like what, two minute journaling routine, guess what? They're their books on Amazon that you can buy. I've got my journals on Amazon. It's a two minute method. And I really attribute so much success to just two minutes of journaling. I mean, I say two minutes. Sometimes it's two minutes, sometimes it's 12. But you can do a baseline of saying I will always do it. That's an unfair advantage, or unfair advantage that I have is that I've learned how to reframe my thoughts and talk to myself. Your attitude can be your unfair advantage. Your determination can be your unfair advantage your interior life can be your unfair advantage your reading can create an unfair advantage. I do think that one of my my growth, my advancement in the dreams that I have for myself have come from reading. And it's an unfair advantage I created for myself because I could have chosen to watch more Netflix, I could scroll on my phone I choose to read your resilience and through the challenges you've overcome your internal self talk your inner language, how about this your ability to believe your faith can be an unfair advantage. I don't need to be about you it could be about your faith could be about about the Lord. My unfair advantage is that I know I have biblical truth that says The Lord gives those who seek Him those who believe in Him. Those who love him strength, and He blesses them with peace that's in Psalms. I was reading it this morning. My unfair advantages, I know that my peace surpasses all understanding. And my strength will never run out because it's renewed every day. My unfair advantage is my confidence to know that God will always provide my needs. Alright, so how was your faith, your unfair advantage? There's so many I mean is now now if we're going to lean into life's going to be unfair, but I have so many unfair advantages. How extraordinary is that? And now you may be thinking about your life and something that's not going well you might be Looking at as you're married with young children, you might be looking at somebody who's single and they have more time freedom and and you have the same goal and that feels disadvantaged, disadvantageous, that they have more time flexibility than you. But how about your unfair advantages that you get to get hugged by a little a beautiful child at the end of whatever you're doing, that you that you've had to become masterful and excellent and above, measure about your time management and your communication with your spouse. Now, single person other side of that story, your unfair advantage right now, even though you might be you, you, you were supposed to have 2.5 kids in a white picket fence three years ago, and you're still single, your unfair advantage is that you don't have to report to anybody, you have freedom you have the ability to create and be so in love with your life that other people fall in love with your life alongside you. Your unfair advantage is the open openness and flexibility, right? So it's just all how you want to tell your story. But being behind and trusting yourself and overcoming unfairness. Yes, we first we established, I have an unfair advantage. And then we've got to learn to trust yourself and follow through. Because when you know you have an unfair advantage. When you think things are unfair, you won't take action. But if you think you have an unfair advantage, you'll you won't delay as much you won't get behind on goals you won't feel behind on life and create procrastination as a as a baseline, you'll start looking at others who are excetera, accelerating their lives. And you'll say okay, me too big. But when you don't take action, you look at somebody who's doing something you wish you did. And you realize you're wishing, not working. And you're like it's not fair that they get to do that it's not fair that their business is further ahead. It's not fair that they, they lost the weight, and I haven't. Sometimes it's unfair, sometimes it's just work. We got to call ourselves out, right? You've got to have the courage to dream and then the emotional willingness to get serious about what it will take to make that dream or that idea become real. And so you know, I'm in I'm doing this like, I'm in France, living walking the gardens and with my favorite with my children, my favorite gardens buying fresh baguettes and from the Bellagio li down from my Airbnb and just being a local. But let me be clear, like it's, it was something we I decided I asked myself, what will it take for me to be location independent? How can I grow my business so that working internationally contributes to the growth of my business? In an essence necessary way? What would it cost? Exactly? What would it cost to live somewhere for a month? I knew that information five years ago? How can I do that with a family? And what values will my family have around traveling because once you know what you want, then you can do the work. And you stop worrying about where somebody else is in life. And in their dreams versus you. You just stay on your path and you've got clear vision and you show up for the work. And you cheer yourself along and you're proud of it. But the unfair distractions that I could have had allowed to keep me from, from action, from belief from trusting that I was building my vision from follow through was, I had a lot of stories I could tell this isn't working, oh, I've tried that my business. It's not growing. I've been abused. I don't have guaranteed income. I didn't come from a family with money. I'm not sure even how to make money I need to create this location independence. I also had stories of I'm not pretty enough to be successful. I had stories in my brain of I have young children. I could that could have been that could have been or I didn't marry a rich man or I have failed a lot and not everything has come easily. To me those could have been things I said, just not fair. It's not gonna work out for me. But the but that I just decided to believe something different. I decided to focus on my unfair advantages versus on what what felt unfair. So the work is to get some ideas of what might work, try those things. Keep doing them if they work, or pivot and try something different. If they don't, it's massive action repeated over and over and over. And so I want you to stop telling yourself it's too far. It's too hard. I want you to stop telling yourself it's unfair. I want you to stop saying like, it's unfair. It's just like, just like in my family, like we just say a phrase we don't say. Or if it's unfair, and you're gonna say that. Ask yourself, What am I going to do about it? What am I going to do instead? Stop telling yourself you're too far from the goal. Stop telling yourself you didn't go into the right field or get the right education or have the right mentor. Stop telling yourself all the reasons that won't work and start tasking your brain on all the reasons that will start tasking your brain on why you are especially equipped to be going for this to be specially capable and that the things that have set you back are actually what have strengthened you they are your resilience they are your ability to believe they are if you felt unsupported most your life that means that you are super capable. My goodness, are you able to trust yourself and rely on yourself and you're able to figure things out your self efficacy is off the charts. Make that your advantage. I hope that hope you're inspired I hope you're encouraged. Let me know write a review. Say hi on Instagram. Next week we're going to be talking about how to do what you don't feel like doing how To become somebody who always does what they say they're going to do, it's a really, really helpful episode, we'll talk a little bit about risk as well. And I just want to invite you to take it further if you want to build an extraordinary life. That is the entire month that we are focused on in the college competence. I'm doing a workshop after workshop, we have I think, six or seven live workshops this month, I will be live stream streaming them from Paris, and talking about how to reinvent yourself, how to reinvent your life, how to get a bigger vision and actually believe and create an extraordinary life, your version of an extraordinary life. And I mean that in the 10 year from now goal, but also in the next week, how can your day to day week feel more extraordinary, feel more beautiful, feel more life giving. And that all is happening in the college comments, come join us go to college incompetence.com To get started. I don't know if you know this, but when you join us, it's month to month, cancel anytime. And also 100% RISK FREE meaning if you aren't wowed, if it's doesn't fit your needs. It's not what you're looking for. Just let my team and I know in the first 14 days, and we'll happily refund your money. We have been in existence for almost six years. And we've had I think two people asked for a refund. That's how confident I am and how much I really want you to go I'm happy no questions asked hassle free if it's not for you.


But most people say shoot Why didn't I start earlier? Because it when you get a coach in your life? Everything changes. It really really does. A I want to close out with our listener of the episode savvy. She said this she's reached out on instead just said hi. And it's really encouraged me. So I wanted to thank you. She said hey, Trish, I stumbled upon your podcast a couple of weeks ago and am in love. You have such a gift of speaking light and encouragement others it's amazing. I play college softball, and I'm struggling with performance anxiety fixating on statistics and overall confidence. Do you have any episodes that would help? In the meantime, I'm just excited to keep listening. So sadly, yes, we have some really great episodes on actually I've done an episode on collegiate or athletic pressure, how to have competence as an athlete, and then how to not put pressure on yourself. But the episode I want you to start with is episode 528 How to know what your your potential really is. And episode 529 playing small how to live up to your fullest potential. And we wanted to let you guys know that there is when you go to my website, and you go to the podcast tab, we have a little search button. And this is going to change like this is going to blow some people's minds. We have a search button that then says what topic you're looking up. You can type in sports, and everything I've ever done on sports, confidence and mindset will come up. If you say that I want some money mindset and competence on my money on money on how I think about money, how you manage my money, go to my website, Trish blackwell.com, click on the on the podcast tab. And then search engine use the Search button and look for and just type in money. And every episode I've ever done will come right up for you. So I'm going to send you to that it's a great thing to know a great place to be able to get resources that are very specific rather than having to scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll through your podcast feed. So I hope that that serves you. I hope it encourages you, you guys, I'll see you next week. I can't wait to connect again. Connect with me in the meantime on socials and share the show with a friend because sharing is caring. Go out there today. Go be more of who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of The confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of confidence at college incompetence.com. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com

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