STAYING CONFIDENT WHEN SELF-DOUBT IS PRESENT
Self-doubt isn’t a problem, unless you make it one. . If allowed to run wild, self-doubt can be a powerful force that holds us back from pursuing our goals and living our best lives. But with the right mindset and tools, we can learn to navigate self-doubt and maintain our confidence in the face of uncertainty. In this episode you’ll get practical tips for managing self-doubt, including reframing negative thoughts, building a support system, and setting achievable goals so you can create an extraordinary life.
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re covering:
- Why self-doubt isn’t a problem, and what to make it mean instead.
- Giving yourself the power to decide what to make self-doubt mean, and how to leverage your self-doubt into currency that will drive and propel you forward.
- How to cultivate more belief than you’ve ever had before
REVIEW OF THE WEEK
ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WEEK
Stop Caring Month is still happening in the COC, and it’s not too late to get access to everything we have covered. Head to www.collegeofconfidence.com
Next month we’re coaching on creating an extraordinary life. Just a sneak peek into some of the upcoming workshops includes:
- Thinking Outside of the Box Workshop
- Abundance Mindset Workshop
- Designing Your Life on Purpose Workshop
- Defining Your Extraordinary Life Workshop
- Why Not You Workshop
- Doing What Others Don’t Do Workshop
- Mastering Celebration and Self-Validation Workshop
SELF-DOUBT IS NOT A PROBLEM
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath
“Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.” – Dr. Roopleen
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Karim Seddiki
“Self-doubt is the anchor that keeps our ship from sailing.” – M. Kirin
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Remember, self-doubt is a natural part of the human experience, and it’s important to be kind and patient with yourself as you work through it. With practice and persistence, you can learn to stay confident even in the face of self-doubt.
You’ve got to keep hitting the self-doubt ball back into the other side of the court.
In fact, self-doubt is a good thing — it’s a sign that you’re creating something with your life. If you didn’t have self-doubt, you would just be coasting. It’s easy to live a mindless life that requires nothing of you. Choose your “negative” emotional experience -the discomfort of temporary doubt or the permanence of a disappointing life.
Eliminate “I’m Going to Try…”
This has an undertone of doubt to do.
If you don’t fully believe in what you can do, you won’t be able to do it.
The greatest skill you can cultivate is BELIEF
Practice and revisit on purpose the belief
Notice and allow the doubt that comes in (the …but…”)
And realign the belief. Remind yourself of what you are choosing.
What to Know About Self-Doubt:
Everyone experiences it.
It’s just an emotion – and emotions don’t have power unless you give them power.
You can turn down its volume.
It doesn’t mean that you’re not capable.
It’ a sign that you’re doing something big and worthwhile.
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, especially when you’re struggling with self-doubt. Remember that everyone experiences self-doubt at some point, and it’s okay to feel this way.
- Reframe negative self-talk: Instead of focusing on negative thoughts and self-talk, try to reframe them into more positive and realistic statements. For example, instead of saying “I’m not good enough,” try saying “I may not be perfect, but I’m doing my best.”
- Visualize success: Visualize yourself succeeding and achieving your goals. This can help to build confidence and reduce self-doubt. Take a few moments to imagine yourself succeeding and feeling proud of your accomplishments.
- Focus on your strengths: Think about your strengths and what you’re good at. Focus on these strengths and use them as a source of confidence and motivation.
- Take action: Taking action towards your goals, even small steps, can help to build confidence and reduce self-doubt. Break your goals down into small, manageable steps and take action towards them consistently.
DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING MEAN
We attach meaning to things – and you are the director of the story – so you are the one to give it the meaning it gets.
Too often we make self-doubt mean
-that we don’t know what we’re doing
-that we’re not good enough
-that we’re not confident
-that we’re doing the wrong thing
There’s a difference between current capability and capacity.
If you see an opportunity for growth in your capability – lean in, be humble, seek improvement and stay locked in on what your fullest capacity really is.
When we see people do extraordinary things, we attribute it to them, being special.
They’re not that special.
They’re just like you.
An ordinary person who committed in an extraordinary way.
They decided to be the exception.
They decided to be extraordinary.
WORK YOUR BELIEF
How much time do you spend working your belief versus listening to your doubt?
Only those that can see the invisible can do the impossible
My greatest moments didn’t come from my greatest moments , my greatest moments came from my defeat
Don’t say I’m having a bad day, say I’m having a character building day
You wanna build your dream life? You have to stop being so casual about working on your belief.
WHAT I MAKE SELF-DOUBT MEAN
That I must care about what I’m working on.
That I am inspired to double down on strengthening my belief.
That I have a human mind trying to protect me.
That I am at a crossroads of decisions and disciplines.
That I’m trying to self-protect from failure – and then I remind myself that failure is formative
That I get to choose what kind of person I want to be – one who believes or one who backs down
HOW ELSE TO WORK YOUR BELIEF?
- Get in the College of Confidence.
- Write down your goals, being very specific.
- Surround yourself with other people believing bigger.
- Watch less screens, read more, do more, live more.
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE
Hearing your words via the podcast & courses has kept me going on a lot of dark days lately. You’re the best
I am actually watching the “improving thought quality” course right now! They have helped me so much!
You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, guys, it's Trish Blackwell, and you're listening to the confidence podcast. This is episode 548. Oh, it's a good one today, because we're talking about something everyone struggles with self doubt, self doubt, and discouragement and how to stay confident when both of those are present. I just want you to know that self doubt isn't a problem. Unless you make it one. If allowed to run wild self doubt can be a powerful force that really holds us back from pursuing our goals and living our best lives. But with the right perspective, with the right mindset with the right tools, we can actually learn to navigate self doubt, and maintain our confidence in the face of uncertainty. In fact, we have just actually done some coaching on having confidence. When things are uncertain having confidence when things are out of your control we did we're doing that work in the College of confidence right now. But I just want you to know that you can stay confident in the face of uncertainty by choosing to believe in what you can't yet see. So we're gonna dive deeper. In this episode, you're gonna get practical tips for managing self doubt, including some reframing of negative thoughts. Making sure you're surrounded by a support system, and setting achievable goals. So you can create an extraordinary life, as always, and get the show notes. If there's anything I say on the show today that you're like, Whoa, whoa, gotta write that down. Go to Trish blackwell.com, forward slash 548. We have the transcript and we have notes for you there. But I just want to I want to have a heart to heart real quick. I want you to know that I hear a lot of feedback from you guys that say, Hey, look, you You're an incredible encourager, like I know my gifting is in encouragement, and enthusiasm and in the way that God has given me to think and how I use words and play with words. I know that. The other reason I think that my coaching is effective. The reason I think you're listening to this show, is I also know how deep and dark discouragement feel. The reason that I'm effective and coaching is because I know the pain of discouragement, because I feel self doubt because I'm, I'm the I'm experiencing the full range of human emotions. And I gotta tell you, I feel when I feel I got high feelings and I have very deep low feelings. I am the full spectrum all in very intense in both ways. And I don't make it a problem. It is why I'm able to empathize. It's why I'm able to understand just how derailing discouragement can be just how heavy in your heart and prickly in your soul it feels when self doubt just settles in and, and pokes holes in every dream that you had in every positive thought that you had and all of a sudden the the your life feels to fleet and nothing has gone wrong with your day but you feel deflated and you then you beat yourself up because you're walking around and you go there's nothing going wrong, why do I feel so terrible. And that is why I love talking about these these concepts. So in this episode, the coaching you're going to receive today is how it is really to refrain that that self doubt isn't a problem. I just want to offer it to you what to make it mean instead. We're also gonna I'm gonna give you the power to decide what you do want to make it me and how to leverage your self doubt into currency that will drive and propel you forward. And we're going to close out coaching today and how to cultivate more belief in yourself and in your future and in your walk with God than you've ever had before. Before we dive into the coaching of course, I want to honor and thank my review of the week ah, Dean's nanny sister your review made my day you because I read every review. It's being of encouragement they massively encouraged me so thank you if for those of you who have written a review, if you haven't yet oh gosh, I would be so so so grateful. And we'd love to just give you things on the air. These Andy said this. You saved my life and opened my eyes Trish where do I start? I binged and listened to every single podcast you have opened my eyes educating myself on life and how to handle toxic people. You have jumpstarted this old battery and you truly are heaven sent So I hope to have a brighter future at 59 years old. And I have to say thank you for all you do for us. And YC girl, hey, NYC girl, I'm your DC girl here, just saying I love you. I believe the best is yet to come one of the core pillars of competence. The fifth one is to believe that your future is bigger than your past. And Sister, you're living it out no matter what age you are, your future is still greater, you can decide that you guys I am so so happy that you're part of the podcast family. I'm so happy you found the show. If you resonate, and you had all agreed, you're shaking your head saying yes to this review. Please, Please share the show with a friend. Like I want you to write reviews. But more than anything, I want you to share the love. Because you're right a lot of people are are kind of anti and resistant to personal development and self help and coaching until you experience it until you go oh my gosh, I'm not alone in my thoughts. I'm not the only one struggling. It's very isolating until you hear the encouragement, I can still remember the first books I read the first things I heard, that were coaching oriented that I went, Whoa, my life change, I got new vision. So the easiest way to share the show, well, you can share it on Instagram sharing on Facebook, you can Did you know and within almost every podcast app, there's a little forward button that says share show and you can text it to a friend, you can post it somewhere. That is how other people will serendipitously stumble upon the show and potentially have their lives forever changed. It could be the start of a domino effect in their life, have something positive self love others and share Hey, our announcement of the week is just a reminder, stop caring month is still happening in the college competence and it's not too late to get access to everything we have covered head to college competence.com to coach me 100% RISK FREE we are we were talking about how to stop caring about certainty how to stop caring about what people think how to stop caring about failure, how to stop caring about what you can control how to stop caring about societal expectations and doing the normal thing you guys it is so it's so but one thing you might not realize about the college competence is my success as a coach depends on your success as a client or student of mine, I have to continually show up with my best with life changing resources, because if I don't, you won't get results, my clients won't get results. And the columns are confidence is cancelled at any time, come for a month, stay for five years leave for a month, it doesn't matter. But what I put in is what you My goal is always that you get 10 times value of what you pay I over deliver so that you get more results than you've ever imagined possible. My my success depends on your success. That's why I'm so committed to pouring my heart and soul into my coaching practice and into the college of competence. So heads up. So this week, this month, you can still get access to all of our stop caring workshop replays and the ones that we have coming up this week that are live, go to college, your competence.com to get started. And next month, here's a sneak peek. The entire month is dedicated to creating an extraordinary life, I'm going to teach you how to decide what you want for your life, how you want your life to look how you want, and it doesn't matter if you're 20 if you're 30, if you're 60 listening, it's not too late to design your life. And we're gonna go into the nitty gritty of like, what does daily life design look like? Then also more expansively if five years from now what do you want your income to be? What do you want your net worth to be? What an extraordinary life what how can we tell an extraordinary story with your life? How can it be absolutely beautiful. And just a sneak peek into some of the upcoming coaching workshops, we're going to have a thinking outside of the box workshop, an abundance mindset workshop, designing your life on purpose workshop, defining your extraordinary life workshop, a why not you workshop because a lot of what holds us back from extraordinary life is thinking well, I'm just you know, so and so. It's well why not you? Right? Doing what others don't do workshop, and then mastering self celebration and self validation workshop guys. It's going to be an epic month period. You can get started get in, make sure you don't miss out on a thing. I called your competence.com. Let's coach let's talk about self doubt, self doubt. Let's just say it with me. It's not a problem. Remember, self doubt is a natural part of the human experience. And it's important to be kind and patient with yourself as you work through it. Because with patience and persistence, you can learn to stay confident even in the face of self doubt. Honestly, self doubt is just like, I actually look at it. Like a mental freeway, right? If I'm going to the gym and I'm getting buffered in you guys I just turned 40 And I gotta tell you, I love my Buddy now more than I ever did, and I was a division one
full scholarship athlete. I love how I feel and how I look, I have lean muscle, I have striped, strong my abs pop, my biceps pop, because I go to, and I lift, and I lift, and I am mindful and I do the work. I'm not mad at dumbbells, I'm not mad at the pole bar for making me strong. I'm not mad at the dumbbells that sometimes are harder than other times to lift. I actually look at them, like, ooh, you've made my biceps look good. You've given my shoulders definition, you make people stop me and go, Wow, you you're really ripped. And here's, here's that's that I want to tell you. That's what self doubt does for your brain. self doubt is just a dumbbell. That gives you mental resilience, mental strength, competent strength. And so another way to think of it is that it's just a ball that comes back, you're playing pickleball or playing tennis, you just got to keep hitting the self dot doubt ball back into the other side of the court. It's not a problem that it comes into your brain. I used to think, oh, my gosh, I've had these self doubt thoughts. I'm feeling really discouraged. I'm questioning myself, What if I can't? What if I don't know what to do? What if I'm not capable. And then I would sort of tamp out that those thoughts. What I didn't know then that I do know now is that those thoughts are going to ping into my court the way when my husband and I click play pickleball he meals in my court all the time, I just hit a back. All I got to do is volley the ball back, get it back, Hey, you don't belong to the side of the net, eight, you don't belong on the side. And then at eight, you don't belong in my brain, hey, you're not a problem. This is just the game we're playing. And I just and I, the more I hit it back without being discouraged, that's coming into my side of the court, the more competent of a player if the same goes with self doubt, the more you hit it back and you make it not a problem, of course it's going to come and of course, there's some resistance, of course, hey, I'm just becoming a better mental player with the interior, interior life of my mind. So in fact, I actually believe I'm going to propose to you today that self doubt is a good thing. Why? It's a sign that you're creating something with your life. You are stretching yourself, if you didn't have self doubt, you would just be coasting. So you guys know this, I've heard I've told you. I'm doing a new podcast in French. So for your my French speakers out there, it's going to be called? Well, it's not going to be it is I need to start talking about it in the present tense because I'm working really diligently behind the scenes to get it, get it teed up and live as your lady tells me. And it's a podcast in French for confidence. And I have all kinds of self doubt about it. No, am I to be an American talking in French? But I know that I'm supposed to be doing it. That's it. And so the fact that every day that I need to sit down and work on it, I have I am flooded with self doubt. I'm actually really well I feel the self doubt I'm not saying it always feels good. But I see it I say out loud to a self doubt. I see you. Okay, what are we going to do about this? You are reminding me that this is exactly where it needs to be. This is growing me This is maturing me This is making me rise up to a higher level. This is if my heart of hearts is to reach more people and to give them access to coaching and tools that have changed my life. Well then I can speak another language and I don't see a podcast in that language being offered with what I coach who am I not the stepdad. But the self doubt that says but they're going to use you for your an accent or what have you mispronounce a word or miss conjugate and if I'm delivering life changing coaching, they might overlook it. Because I know there's things I say in English that you're like, Huh? There are people who are listening to Miko. Trishy got pre southern accent and like i You're the only one I know that says y'all. I have an accent in English. Why is it a problem for me to have an accent in French, right? I say that sounds really powerful. I need you to know that sometimes I boohoo to my soul and go, Oh, I'm not ready to put this podcast out. But when you feel the self doubt whether it feels a little bit and just a little ball that you need to ping pong back to the other side, or it feels like it's a wave coming overuse to sweep you up and under. I need you to go Oh, at least I'm out here surfing. Right. I'm on the surfboard and catching waves. Yeah, there's waves coming, but I'm catching them and I'm writing them. If there were new waves, if there was no self doubt coming to scooped me up, I just be coasting and floating and drifting. Probably not doing much with my life. It's very easy to live a mindless life that requires nothing of you. I want you to choose your quote unquote negative emotional experience. So that's, that's the reason we think self doubt is a problem because it is technically we label it a negative emotion because it doesn't feel good. But we are humans, we're gonna experience the full range of emotions. And here's what I want to offer you today. it, you can either choose your negative emotional experience the discomfort of temporary self doubt. Or you can choose the other negative experience the permanence of a disappointing life, the permanence of knowing that you never tapped into your fullest potential. We spent so much time trying to avoid a negative potential emotion. But I want you to know there's always going to be negative in your life, you get to choose which negative experience you is going to serve you the most. Here's some quotes on self doubt that I think are really important to share. Sylvia Plath said, the worst enemy to creativity is self doubt. self doubt is an enemy. I don't want you to just accept it. I want you to say, okay, brain, I see you, I acknowledge you, I can accept I accept the emotion, I'm going to allow it, but I'm not going to make it a problem. Dr. Ruth's blue plane said this, don't let mental blocks control you set yourself free, confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks. These blocks of self doubt are actually building blocks that step you forward. Kareem Siddiq, you said this, doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Teddy Roosevelt said this, believe you can. And you're halfway there. You know, it reminds me of back in college, we we swam a lot, right? We swim a lot, right? doubles, four hours a day. And you know, we'd always have music playing on digit on the pool deck. And one of the playlists at the time, we always had a living on a prayer by Bon Jovi. And there's a point of that, that's that song, if you're familiar with a song living on a prayer that says, you know, we're halfway there. And I would love it when that song came on. And even if I wasn't halfway through practice, I'd be like, Okay, we're halfway there, y'all like, it would rev me up and fire me up. And I'd be like, okay, like, I'm halfway there. And I want you to know, that just simply choosing to believe, to believe you can even though there's self doubt, even though you don't feel like it, even though there's there's resistance, even though you have still have a long way to go. Even just deciding that you can still believe and hold self doubt in the same it's not an either or it's a both and experience. I can believe in myself, I can believe in this French podcast that I'm launching. And I can also have some self doubt about it. The key is to make sure my self belief and my conviction to stretch myself and show up in a new way to serve more people is more important than the self doubt and the fear of judgment that might be might make me want to recoil and self protect, believing and turning the voice of belief up. And pairing that with action. With belief fueled action, and then I'm already halfway there. I also want you when we kind of eliminate the phrase I'm going to try, I'm not going to try to do French podcasts I'm doing a French podcast is even the phrase I'm going to try as this undertone of doubt to it. If you don't fully believe that you what you can do, then you won't be able to do it. The greatest skill that you can cultivate is belief. But in order to cultivate belief, we have to practice and revisit on purpose, that belief and I want to invite you didn't notice. And allow the doubt that comes in, which is really how do you know the doubts coming in? That's the but what if fill in the blank? What if this happens? What if they say this? What if it doesn't work out? What if it's a waste of time, and then you re align the belief and I need you to remind yourself of what you were choosing, you're choosing that there is no such thing as a waste of time that there's no such thing as wasted effort that everything you put your full heart and your full belief into doing will teach you something that you will be able to leverage and use later. And it might not always look how you want it to look. But it will not be wasted. There are so many people who are held back from their dreams from doing what they want from starting a business to going all in on a relationship. Because they're like, Well, what if it doesn't work out? Well, it's never gonna work out if you don't go fully in anyways. And instead you sit on the side and you think about it, and you watch other people go all in on their life and you wonder, when you're going to get to know that you're ready, you're never going to be ready, you have to choose to believe that there's no such thing as wasted effort. Here's what I want you to know about self doubt. Everyone experiences it. And even better than that, it's just an emotion. It's just an emotion and the emotions don't have power unless you give them power. You can just turn down its volume. And when I started coaching and I started coaching this, this work of coaching and and really cultivating the interior of my life, my interior life. I just practiced
envisioning turning up like two dials when I would experience countering emotions. And I would practice turning have the volume of one thing and the turning down the volume of another. Even just last night at dinner, I was having dinner with my children, my husband's out of town on a business trip. And I said, Hey, guys, let's do gratitudes for the day, and my daughter ate, said, let's start with some on gratitude. And I was like, Wait a second, this is actually kind of fun. I said, Ellie, thank you for the great suggestion. Because, to be honest, I had some things I needed to just let out and go home, I released this. And we, we did, we started with three things, each that we went this is this was a little disappointing about my day. And I wasn't really I didn't really love that. And once I released it, I turned down the volume, it was no longer distracting me from the things I was grateful for. And so you can practice this in a lot of different ways. But first, I just want I want to invite you to visualize turning up a dial and turning it down. Also, when self doubt comes, what you need to know, is it doesn't mean anything it means whatever you want to make it mean now most people make it mean, I guess I'm not cut out for this. Or I guess I'm not ready. I guess I'm not capable. And that's all BS. It doesn't mean that you're not capable. In fact, I really believe it's a sign that you're doing something big and worthwhile. So in general, next, just couple things. When you feel self doubt, I want you to practice self compassion. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, especially when you feel it and just not beat don't beat yourself up. See, I used to beat myself up. I used to be self critical when I felt self doubt. This is why I'm offering to you that a step to take is to practice self compassion. And simply be curious. We always in my coaching, I always pair compassion and curiosity together. And when we practice self compassion, we simply say to ourselves, hey, brain is normal. It's okay to feel doubt. Feel your girl. Okay? It feels daunting, I got it. But we can do see the difference? A self critical turn would be Come on, you're smarter than this. You've been working on your competence. So long, you should know better, you shouldn't feel doubt or unsure of yourself. Let me ask you whose brain do you want to be in of those two examples we're going to learn to have are each our own backs. So I often practice self compassion by having a conversation with myself in third person, Trish, girl, it's okay. You're scared. Of course, because you haven't done this before. That doesn't mean anything, though. It's okay to feel self doubt. But we're not going to stay here. The self doubt just means that you do really care about this. And custom growth to do some some skills, learn some some potential here. This is exciting. Let's go you I'm with you. I got your back. So we practice self compassion, then we reframe the negative self talk. So instead of focusing on negative thoughts and self talk, and why it's not working, right, because once you start noticing what's not working, you're gonna notice everything else that's not working. We've got to reframe, and put them into more positive and realistic statements. And so instead of saying, I can't get this right, eyeball, I'm not good enough. You can say, hey, I'm not perfect. But I'm becoming better and more skilled at this every day. Or even the simple power phrase, I'm on my way, can be life changing. And then you kind of visualize success. I need you to visualize succeeding and achieving your goals. This helps build competence and reduce self doubt. You can practice visualizing with what I call low hanging fruit, like with the big things you want to succeed, you will only be able to visualize your success. If you're good at visualizing. What am I low hanging fruits is when I run. And when I play pickleball let me tell you the context here. When I run on a run, I run every day, I love running, I typically run seven miles a day, sometimes 10 Sometimes six, but I'm a I'm a I'm a runner, right? But there's days I don't feel like it. But there it's it's what I also sometimes I run so I can practice not stopping. I love that I love the mental challenge. Some days it feels like I'm skipping on clouds and like I would run all day. And there's days that I'm like, Ah 45 more minutes, let's go like this will be done soon. And on those days, the days where it's hard the days where my legs are sore the days where I'm emotionally distracted about something those days I visualize what it's going to feel like walking into my driveway when I'm done. I might be six miles away from that moment. But I visualize thinking about myself later in the day having a protein shake or drinking my coffee or talking to my husband and I visualize the conversation when he says Hey, how was your workout today and I'll say you know it was tough but I I'm so proud of myself I finished I had a great great God you know good mileage and or was good to get outside and move my body and visualize the after of the success that I haven't yet achieved. Or even the the good debt beautiful feeling of stretching for two minutes after you run in the driveway. And I feel even when I'm five miles away from that on a day that it's all are visualizing me being done. Gets me to believe and get out of the funk of the self doubt of that I can't finish the run, thinking playing pickleball different context. Okay, bear with me. I'm an athlete. So you're gonna get up here to get examples. My husband is so good at pickleball. Like, so good. Like, we started playing pickleball we play about once a week, he plays three times a week, because he is he's got friends who play with them. At first, well, let me state for the record. I believe I'm a better athlete in general, and my husband. And I say that, and I'm humbled to say, out of Otter know, every 10 games that he and I play, I win one, that means he's beating me 90% of the time. It's destroying me mentally. But I love this because I playing this is what I called low hanging fruit, where it doesn't matter who wins in this, this is what we do for fun on the Saturday, right? I want to win, I want to be better than him. And I keep telling myself that I am but a really, he has played years of pickleball of years of ping pong and different Racquet Sports more than me. And so what that's my, that's my justification to you guys, as you listen. But I say this because when I do when do you know the games, I win. This one I visualize winning. When I win, and he's about to serve, I visualize the ball, I visualize me winning the point. And when I can do that, and I can visualize how well my I'm going to hit back, I hit back well. And when I don't win, I'm getting a little bit mentally psyched out. And he's a couple points ahead, or he just had a great surf and I couldn't hit back. And that's when I abandoned the visual visualization and then he'll get three more points ahead of me. I want you to practice visualizing succeeding even on something that's so inconsequential as winning a pickleball point. And practice just seeing and playing with it. This is how we get better about about doing it for bigger things in our life. Play with the self doubt notice where doubt creeps creeps in. Obviously, I'm talking today about self doubt on larger contexts. But I also experienced the emotion of self doubt when I'm playing pickleball and I'm in and behind. Can I catch up? Oh, he's too far ahead. All of those thoughts are creating self doubt. So we we don't get we don't beat ourselves up for feeling them. I actually look at pickleball as a great opportunity for me to practice mental fortitude. And go Oh, Trish, like you're creating these doubt this this emotion of doubt because of these thoughts, change your thoughts, change your thought practice this visualization. So much opportunity here guys. And and focus on your strengths, right? When I'm playing pickable I gotta go. You know what I'm where my strengths are. I'm faster than him. I'll dive for a ball and get skinny to get rash burn on myself. I will I am. I'm unwilling to give up. That's a strength of mine. To short, maybe he can place his shots better. But I'm gonna focus on my strengths. Anytime you're feeling doubt you have you have reasons to give you you have evidence and thought that point to the things you should have doubt about. That's cool. That's cool. But if you're going to tell a story, tell the other side of the story. Tell the story to yourself of your strengths of your hustle off of the gifting that God has given you. And then the other thing when you when you feel self doubt, so we got practice self compassion, reframe negative self talk, visualize success, focus on your strengths and take action, take action, take action, even in small steps, it's going to build confidence and reduce your self doubt when I'm in a place of self doubt. And when I'm feeling discouraged, give myself a little space, an hour to feel bad. allow myself to feel the emotions. And then I say okay, what's, what action do I take, you can take yourself out of take yourself out of doubt, by taking action. You got to decide what you want to make it believe. I mean, we attach meaning to things. But I want to remind you this, you are the director of your story. So you're the one who gets to give self doubt the meaning that it gets. And too often we make self doubt mean that we're not that we don't know we're doing that we're not good enough that we're not popular enough that we're not competent, or that we're doing the wrong thing. But there's this there's a difference between current capability and your actual capacity. So if you're having self doubt, and you've tried something, if you've if you've worked on weight loss, or you're trying something your business or your public working on becoming a public speaker and your current capabilities that you're not, you know, booking out a TED a TED Talk. That's your current capability. But that's not your capacity doesn't mean you're not capped your capacity isn't to be one of the most renowned Ted TED speakers they've ever had. If you see opportunity for growth in your capability, lean in, be humble, seek improvement, stay locked in on what your fullest capacity really is. When we see extraordinary things. And we see people do extraordinary things. We often attribute it to them to them being extraordinary. Well, they're just special. They're the unicorn. They're super proud. They just got this note, guys. They're not that special.
Just like you they're an ordinary person who was committed in an extraordinary way. They did sited to be the exception, they decided to be extraordinary. And you can too. We're in the College of competence we, we teach that extraordinary things are done by doing ordinary things with extraordinary consistency. And that's why this next month in the COC, we're talking about creating, being an extraordinary person and creating an extraordinary life. And this isn't pie in the sky for the unicorns of you out there. This is for each and every one of you. People that create extraordinary things are not that special. They're just like you and me Did you just made different decisions, they made different decisions. They've had emotional maturity, and how they how they manage negative emotion, quote, unquote, negative emotions. And then they take action with extraordinary consistency. And you can too, so you get to, you get to decide where you want to make it mean. And what I want to make self doubt mean, is that I am inspired to double down on strengthening my belief, I make self doubt mean that I have a human mind trying to protect me, and it's okay to keep moving forward. Yeah, make it mean, then I'm in a crossroad of disciplines and decisions. I make it mean that I'm trying to self protect from failure. And then I remind myself that failure is formative. I've decided to make it mean that I'm stretching myself, and that I must really care about what I'm working on. I also make self doubt mean, that I get to choose what kind of person I want to be the one who believes or one who backs down. And another question I want to I want to pose to you today. Is this how much time do you spend working on your belief on purpose versus listening to your doubt. Those who work on their belief, more than they listen to their doubt, are the are those who create extraordinary results? Only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible. And I want to remind you that your greatest moments aren't going to come from your greatest achievements are going to come from your defeat because you realize that those that those things that discourage you, are those exactly the things that develop you? How else do you work on your belief? Well, I think you remind yourself this, don't say I'm having a bad day, say I'm having a character building day. Don't say I'm struggling with self doubt, say I'm having an opportunity to strengthen my confidence and my belief, don't say I just keep feeling self doubt. Instead, say I'm going to work on my belief. I'm going to intentionally curate my belief belief is an emotion that is created from the thoughts that you think so create a full list of thoughts that will create the emotional belief. If you're not sure what that means we do this work together in the COC. A couple other ways to work on your belief one you can get into the COC come join us in the college competence. It is 100% risk free if you don't if you if it is not exactly what you need. Just let us know in the first 14 days, we hassle free give your money, no big deal. I'm that committed to telling you it's life changing. I was can you work your belief. Write down your goal every single day. Write down your goals, be specific write down power thoughts. Become a self encourager. Master your mindset surround yourself with other people believing bigger surround yourself with people who also say I want to believe in extraordinary things. I want to do extraordinary things in this world. I want to hear well done good and faithful servant at the end of my life. I want to squeeze out every ounce of potential and gifting that God has put into me I want my life to matter. Another thing to work your belief and this and like that. I almost can't believe I'm gonna say this because I sound like my mother. watch less TV, scroll less. Watch Less screens, read more, do more, live more. We are in a culture of technology where it's it's we avoid boredom we avoid distraction we avoid our real lives by watching other people's lives whether they're fixed effective fictitious, or, or actual in or curated a Hun, either fictitious on Netflix or they're curated on social social feeds. We're spending a lot of our lives living somebody else's life. And there's a place for it. But with time, our time boundaries on it. Read more. Do more, live more. I hope this episode has encouraged you today. Share it with a friend. We're going to close out with our listener the episode. And that's Shelby she said this. Tricia hearing your words via the podcast and the courses in the college competence have helped have kept me going on a lot of dark days lately. You are the best. I'm actually watching the replay of improving thought quality in the thought quality course right now and it's helped me so much I'm so thankful for the COC. As I'm so thankful for you, thank you for allowing of all the podcasts that you listen to. Thank you for letting this be one. Take that so deeply so seriously. And it matters. And I'm so thankful that you trust me to be a voice of encouragement and consistency in your life to remind you of your full capacity of your full capability. You have so much more ahead of you so much you can tap into more than you can even possibly believe. And so while you're working your belief, borrow mine. Okay. For those you ready, go Next up, I'll see you in the college competence go to college confidence.com To get started. Oh, and do you know we did a facelift on it? We redid the whole website, go check it out. And only and I actually very proud of myself. I designed it myself. Like I didn't hire a designer. I did the website design myself. And I'm pretty proud. So if you want to give me a little shout out and a thumbs up, tell your girl because I'm not Ness, I don't consider myself a super techy person. I'm proud, proud. So go check it out and just give it a thumbs up tell me on Instagram. And guys, I'll see you here next week. Next week. We are coaching on something that I think is gonna resonate with a lot of you because you guys, your surrounding your other your your other listeners, guys. High achievers, people want more from life because this is this is a show for people who want more. Now the double edged sword that comes with that type of personality is we can we tend to be very, very self critical. And it's holding you back. And so next week, or coaching on self kindness, or the self critical person, I'll see you there. Go out there today could be more Oh God created you to be be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of The confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of confidence at college confidence.com. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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