Get ready to boost your professional success with this episode where we dive into the crucial topic of work confidence. Discover how this elusive quality can make or break your career advancement and explore the many factors that contribute to our confidence levels in the workplace, from past experiences to our mindset and skills. With personal anecdotes and expert insights, we reveal practical tips and strategies that will help you build and maintain your confidence, including setting achievable goals, seeking feedback, and adopting a growth mindset. When you bring more confidence to your work, you’ll enjoy less stress, better work/life boundaries, and faster career growth. Don’t miss this essential episode that can transform your professional life!
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re covering:
- Confidence for returning to work after a break, or for starting a new job
- The 5 things needed for Confidence if you’re an Entrepreneur
- How to appear more confident than you feel
- Knowing that you belong at the table – without overcompensating or overworking
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REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
CONFIDENCE FOR RETURNING TO WORK OR FOR A NEW JOB
Returning to work after a period of absence can be challenging, but there are some things you can do to regain your confidence and make the transition smoother.
Update your skills and knowledge: If you’ve been out of work for a while, it’s essential to update your skills and knowledge to keep up with changes in your industry or field. Consider taking a course or attending training sessions to get up to speed.
Start with a part-time or flexible role: If you’re feeling anxious about returning to work full-time, consider starting with a part-time or flexible role that can help you ease back into the workforce.
Connect with others in your field: Networking with other professionals in your industry or field can be a great way to learn about job openings, gain new insights, and boost your confidence.
Practice interviewing and networking: If you’re feeling nervous about interviewing or networking, practice with a friend or family member to build your confidence and hone your skills.
Be kind to yourself: Remember that returning to work after a period of absence can be challenging, and it’s okay to feel nervous or anxious. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge your achievements, and celebrate your progress.
Seek support: If you’re struggling to regain your confidence, consider seeking support from a career coach, mentor, or counselor who can help you build your confidence and develop effective strategies for returning to work.
CONFIDENCE FOR ENTREPRENEURS
Top 5 things that make an entrepreneur confident as they grow their business
Clarity of Vision: Having a clear and compelling vision for the business can help entrepreneurs stay confident and motivated as they grow their businesses. A strong sense of purpose and direction can provide the focus and drive needed to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
Strong Network: Building a strong network of supporters, mentors, advisors, and partners can help entrepreneurs feel more confident and supported as they navigate the challenges of growing a business. Having a network of people who believe in the business and offer advice and feedback can be invaluable.
Resilience: Being resilient and able to bounce back from setbacks is an essential trait for entrepreneurs. The ability to stay positive and keep moving forward despite setbacks or failures can help entrepreneurs maintain their confidence and keep their eye on long-term goals.
Strong Work Ethic: Entrepreneurs who have a strong work ethic and are willing to put in the effort and dedication needed to grow their business tend to be more confident in their abilities. A willingness to work hard, take risks, and make sacrifices can help entrepreneurs build the momentum needed to succeed.
Adaptability: Being adaptable and able to adjust to changes in the market, industry, or business environment is crucial for entrepreneurs. The ability to pivot, make changes, and adapt to new situations can help entrepreneurs stay confident and nimble as they grow their businesses.
Entrepreneur Self-Confidence is truly founded in:
- Self-confidence in one’s ability to learn and try new things
- Openness to the potential of negative emotions
- Willingness to look stupid or be different (mastery of not caring what people think)
- Pursuit and play with failure and risk
- Mastering the self-validating internal voice
- Having a habit of renewing vision (where there is vision, there is motivation)
- Self-identifying as an entrepreneur and knowing how to reframe negative, self-doubting thoughts
HOW TO APPEAR MORE CONFIDENT THAN YOU FEEL
Feeling confident at work can be challenging, but there are several things you can do to appear more confident, even if you don’t feel that way.
Here are some tips:
Use confident body language: The way you carry yourself can have a big impact on how others perceive you. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and use gestures that convey confidence and authority.
Speak clearly and with conviction: When you speak, do so clearly and confidently. Speak with conviction and avoid filler words such as “um” or “like.” Be direct and to the point in your communication.
Dress for success: Dressing well can make you feel more confident and can also help others perceive you as confident and professional. Dress appropriately for your workplace and choose clothing that makes you feel good about yourself.
Prepare for meetings and presentations: Being prepared can help you feel more confident when presenting information or leading meetings. Prepare thoroughly, practice your presentation, and know your material inside and out.
Take risks and step out of your comfort zone: Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary, but it can also help you grow and gain confidence. Volunteer for new projects, take on leadership roles and challenge yourself to take risks.
Be positive and optimistic: Positivity and optimism can be contagious, and they can also help you feel more confident. Focus on your strengths, celebrate your successes, and maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of challenges or setbacks.
Speak a pep-talk to yourself: Decide ahead of time how you want to feel and prepare yourself to move forward as the most confident version of yourself – remembering why you matter and how you matter / what you can contribute.
Decide to develop mastery: You can feel more valuable simply by being someone who is in the pursuit of excellence and mastery … continually learning and staying committed to being someone who adds massive value – in your attitude, in your ideas, in your professionalism, in your openness to be led, mentored and coached.
Remember that appearing more confident is often a matter of practice and perception. By implementing these tips and working to improve your confidence over time, you can become more confident and successful in your workplace.
Appearing More Confident Than You Are is truly founded in:
- Acting as if.
- Deciding that you belong.
- Knowing the value you bring.
- Being a person continually pursuing growth and excellence.
- Liking yourself so you can be okay if other people don’t like you
KNOWING THAT YOU BELONG AT THE TABLE – WITHOUT OVERCOMPENSATING
You belong. You can drop the proving yourself.
Don’t make it a big deal that you have some thoughts that are in the impostor syndrome narrative. It’s just your brain being a brain.
Resist the desire to list out how much you do or over-work / be a super-worker.
Don’t take on others’ tasks and over-commit yourself unnecessarily to projects.
STANDING OUT WITH CONFIDENCE
Decide to be invaluable.
Master your mindset about your thoughts about work.
Appreciate your employer – and crave more.
Ask for more responsibility.
Reflect on how you can offer more value – not more time.
Be the generator of creative solutions and innovative ideas.
Commit to being someone who is impeccable with their word.
#539: Stop Trying to Prove Yourself – You’re Already Enough
#529: Playing Small? How to Live Up to Your Potential
#223: Impostor Syndrome – the Biggest Liar in Your Life
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. On your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles, and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, there, it's Trish Blackwell, and you're listening to the competence podcast, you're at episode 544. I think you're gonna like this topic. We're talking about work confidence, how to have more confidence at work, how to have confidence in the work that you do the work you present, whether you're working for yourself, you are growing, a side hustle, you are scaling your business, or you're clocking in for someone else's business. I want you to show up with confidence. Or maybe you find yourself at the peak of your education, you've just finished med school or law school and you've passed all these amazingly challenging tests and you find yourself in your first year of employment with self doubt and imposter syndrome and fear that you're not enough. You've, you're at the culmination of all your education and you feel this pressure, because nobody told you that your brain is still going to be a brain. When you show up and you do human things. Even though you know you're qualified, even though you know that you were hired, even know that you know, you're capable, their brain still going to offer you a story of fear a story of not enoughness. And I want to normalize that today. I hope that today you feel encouraged by knowing this is totally normal, and nothing has gone wrong. So in this episode, we're going to explore the topic of work, confidence and how it can impact our professional success. We're going to discuss some various factors that contribute to confidence levels at work, including your past experiences, your skill and your mindset. And I'm going to give you some practical tips to build and maintain confidence in the workplace that are going to be helpful. So I want you to buckle up and get ready. Because after you listen to today's episode, I you're going to feel empowered, you're going to feel more capable, more confident, more ready to go show up without anxiety without overthinking without overworking and just trust that you showing up with excellence is enough. And hey, if you're new to the show, we're so happy you're here. This is where we gather to train our brains rewire the internal dialogue, the natural self talk, because so because confidence is your are really entirely based on the thoughts that you think to yourself. You're sure we get a confidence from experiential wins and the experience of doing things builds confidence, but the innate internal confidence comes the feeling that you can show up and do things that scare you, you can show up and learn how to do things you don't yet know, come from your belief that you can't. This all comes back to initiating with your thoughts. So you have found the great place if you want to work on how to stop overthinking how to stop self sabotaging, stop comparing and start thriving my clients and our listeners of this podcast, they learn how to rewire their brains change the way they think. Because when you change the way you think you change the way you feel. And when you change the way you feel you change the way you act and how you show up in life and your results in life. And so welcome. Welcome to the competence podcast. So today we're talking about how to have confidence first and foremost, for returning to work after a break or for starting a new job. And three things up actually strike that five things needed for confidence if you're an entrepreneur, so I'm going to cover in this some competence tips that are general, but also ones for the professional setting for a traditional workplace environment and also for an entrepreneur environment. I don't want you to tune out if you're entrepreneur and you're listening to the traditional workplace segment because it's going to apply you can take it and make it yours apply it to your particular scenario. I want to I'm also going to coach for just a couple of minutes on how to appear more confident than you feel. I think sometimes I think that we miss perceive sometimes the reality that we need to feel confident to be confident I got great news for you. You don't have to feel competent to be confident you can decide to be confident and we're going to talk about how to appear more confident than you feel because the way you carry yourself the way you present yourself the things you say the the way, you are impeccable with your word, your desire to learn your willingness to step out into past your comfort zone that will make you appear more confident than you might think that you are. But others will think that you're more confident than you are, they will treat you as such. And there's this crazy reciprocity that happens, like a boomerang effect that comes back to you, where you end up feeling confident as a proxy of how people are treating you because you're appearing more confident than you actually are. It's kind of fun. And we're going to talk also about knowing that you belong at the table without overcompensating or overworking. I'm really excited about that topic as well. Because I think sometimes we we think we can be confident by giving ourselves an edge by overworking and hustling and being the person who's going to do yes, a raise the hand and say yes to everything and spread ourselves thin and, and create, create value. That way, you're you exchanging more of your time does not create more value, it does not make you come off more confidently, in fact, it creates the insecurity and desperation. But we can change that by simply knowing you belong. You belong at the table. But also, by the way, asking yourself every day, how can I show up with more excellence? How can I be the MVP of where I work? How can I be the most valuable employee, contributor, thinker. Before we dive in to the official coaching, I want to highlight a special announcement. Two quick things. If you didn't catch my most recent masterclass, we've got the replay on instant access right now, you in 30 minutes are going to learn three steps to competence, three core things to do right away, there's a workbook to go along with it. This is taking the work that we do here on the podcast, but making it more tangible, because, look, let's be honest, it's easy to be distracted, you're probably doing something right now as you're listening. But when you take a master class, you're watching the video, you're doing the workbook, there's an implementation process that creates more mastery of the concepts. I want you to slow down and really put these things into practice. And the masterclass will teach you how to do it, you can get free instant access right now go sign up at Trish blackwell.com, forward slash three steps. The other announcement is that in the month of May, the entire month of the college competence is devoted to the theme of stop caring. That's right, it is our most popular requested topic in general, we're gonna have workshops on how to stop caring about living up to societal expectations, how to stop caring about,
about comparing yourself to others, how to stop caring about failure, how to stop caring what other people think including what other people think about your appearance, or how you do at work, we're going to, we're also going to have a whole workshop on how to stop caring about external validation, and how to stop caring about perfection and some of the expectations that you've probably put on previously put on yourself, I read if you want to, for once and for all, shed the chains of caring too much what people think caring too much about, quote unquote, the right way to live your life, the right way to do things this month of coaching is for you. So maybe you've you've been a member of the COC and you've left, it's time to come back you don't want to miss this month, and the live coaching that's going to go along with it and the opportunity to implement this that we're really going to be putting it's gonna be a wild month. And so if you it's time to come back in if you have been on the fence thinking about joining us, take this as your sign this month is for you. And we're going to be covering even the topics of how to how to stop caring if you're different than other people or if you choose a different life path and what that looks like and how to how to how to stand your ground and be proud of who you are as you implement where you feel God's calling you so you know where to go go to college or competence.com it is a you pay me one month at a time. So even if you just come for a month, of course we have members who come for a couple months at a time and we have members who have stayed for five years. You are going to love it come see why most of our members say after the joint most people say to me, I don't know why I didn't join sooner. And by the way, it comes with a money back guarantee There literally is no risk. It's time for our review of the week. This is from B D wall 23. Wow, just wow five stars Trish. I'm finally writing review. I've shared your posts and commented and numerous times on Instagram but that's not enough. I had to come tell you and all of your listeners how important you are to me. I started listening to you in December of 2022. After deciding to give self care slash self help podcasts another try. I have to admit, I wasn't ready to receive the advice that I was being given. I thought that I had it all figured out the title of your podcast, the calming sound of your voice and the real life experiences that you share has continuously given me life in such a short time, I'm already a different person. Sometimes I have shared your podcast with my clients and they are coming to their training sessions, literally repeating what they've heard you say, thank you for being you continue being you, I wish you all the success in the world and I look forward to continue to grow with your podcasts in my life, my my friend, I am smiling ear to ear, thank you for these amazing words. And thank you for doing the work. I'm so proud of you. What you I'm going to reread one of your statements in such a short time, it's only been a couple of months. This shows you the power, what can happen in just a short period of time. When you focus your mind and say it's time for me to change when you open your heart to receiving insight guidance, some, some, some some, some support. And you try them out for yourself, you obviously have implemented, quote, I am already a different person. Oh, I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, guys, thank you. For everybody who writes for us. It helps us grow the show helps us reach more people. And also just playing out, you want to know the real truth, it really encourages me. So if I ever encouraged you, hey, encouraged me back, it would it would mean the world to me. Let's talk about let's start with let's go and dive into our coaching here. Let's get Let's get to business folks. competence for returning to work for or to a new job. Listen, when you come to work after a period of absence, it can feel challenging, but there are a lot of things that you can do to regain your confidence and make that transition smoother. First and foremost, you what you say to yourself matters, what you say to yourself about yourself matters, saying, you know, oh, I'm just a housewife coming back from 10 years of break, that's not helpful. Or maybe you had to take a break from work for two years to help, you know, an ailing family member. And there's this sort of this, I'm behind a feeling in your, in your mind, you've got to really, really, really clean up your thoughts about yourself, if you have been hired, you are you will have value that that in place of employment, CS matters. You were hired. You're enough. They've said yes to you. They need you, I want you to say what a great opportunity for me to show up and provide value to this place of employment that needs me. So we're not going and yes, you always come to I'm super grateful for the opportunity to have employment for the opportunity to make an income for the upward whether even if the income isn't what you want. Yet, if you want a good relationship with money, and when you have a good relationship with money, that's how you grow your ability to create more money to ask for raises, we got to be grateful for every money about a month of money that you receive. And just remember that often, a salary or a paycheck is a stepping stone to your next level of income. But you've got to stay in that attitude of gratitude. So remember this when you're coming in to coming back from work, for whatever reason, or starting a new job, you've got to update your skills and knowledge, it's so So spend some time knowing your fields spend some time attending some training sessions getting up to speed, I even encourage you to spend some time coming into the college or competence and get your thoughts about yourself and the skills that you have to offer tightened up cleaned up and ready to go. And when you you can have confidence in going into any environment. Even if you feel like I'm not sure if I'm really qualified for the job. And you can speak back to that impostor syndrome by simply saying, I will devote this much structured time each week to improving my skill set to improving my knowledge. I'm going to be a student of this field, I'm going to be a student of life and have a growth mindset you identifying as a growth mindset employee is going to give you an edge now here's what's critical, you've got to actually implement, you got to take out your planner
and write it out for yourself schedule, I would recommend if you're really want to be on your game recom schedule 45 minutes, twice a week, twice a week to 45 minute sessions to really only master those skills. Now maybe you're coming back and I don't know for example, you're coming back and you're a trained therapist, but you've taken couple years off in those 45 minutes skills maybe you're taking some continuing education maybe you're just reading your favorite industry, news, news, newsletters, and and magazines and just getting up to date on maybe you're researching on the impact of social media or check GPT on you know, the well being of, of, of teenagers and school and what that like you're just starting to get re update your RE your reacquainting yourself with all the ins and outs of that specific field. Now if it's a skill set you want to learn then you continue to grow and you find other areas where you take a train meaning or rate. So up. So start there, then know that it's okay to start if you're transitioning, and it's been a long time since you've been back in full time work, you don't have to go all in right now. And you've got to ask yourself, What's my goal here is my goal is to maintain my work life balance, or is my goal to really to rev up the income depending upon that know your goal note, have the end in sight, and then set yourself up in a way that wins in a way that work doesn't drain you, but it's life giving in your life. Also connect with others in your field, when you network with other professionals in your industry, or also be make the decision to be the friendliest person in the workplace. That doesn't mean you have to be extroverted guys, it just means that you're kind, it means you look people in the eye, it means you ask them, you say hello, you don't have to be the person who's you know, standing doing small talk at the watercooler. But you are a connector that you are correct. When you create even these these superficial friendships with other peers and co workers, you will increase your confidence that you belong in that workplace. Now, in the virtual setting, it's going to look a little bit different. But there's still things that can be done a quick message on whatever chat system you use a extra, a couple extra thick lines of kindness in your emails that are sending, that goes a long way. It goes a long way to even convey to others I have confidence. And I appreciate this opportunity and I belong here. And when you're coming back to work, or you have a new job. And once you're once you've established yourself a little bit, one of the things I like to encourage my clients and my members in the COC to consider is, Hey, what is where do you want to end up one year from now and to speak to that supervisor to ask for the opportunity to sit down to whoever's your manager or your supervisor and say, I love working here, I love this opportunity to grow. In one year, I would like to have this opportunity within the company, what will I need? What do I need to work on now? To grow to that point, ask you want to be perceived as confident, you know, that will asking what it takes to grow. And and being clear about where you'd like to grow in the company and asking for direct feedback on what do I need to do to become that type of employee here. That's a really competent thing that most people won't do, and it will make you stand out. The other thing is to be kind yourself, remember returning to work after a period of absence can be challenging, it's okay to feel nervous. It's okay to feel anxious. That's okay. That's normal. If your kids weren't nervous going to school on the first day of school, you're like, okay, something's a little wrong. It's, it's a, it's, it's a good feeling. And we can interpret it as excitement. So and celebrate your progress, guys, it's so critical. And if you don't yet if you have any Atlanta, that new job, but you want confidence for the idea of returning to work, I want to encourage you to practice interviewing or networking, you can practice with and do roleplay with families, and friend and friends in it. It might feel awkward, but you know what feels more awkward not having practiced, or even work with a coach, there are coaches who specialize in preparing people to interview with confidence. So there's so many options. And but when you come back and you're returning to work, or even maybe you're maybe you're seasoned in your place of employment, but you don't like how you've been showing up, you can change how you show up anytime. You can change and speak to your supervisor, speak to your team and say, um, you know what, you guys have only been getting 70% of me, I'm ready to go 100% I want to be someone who is on this team that provides immense value. I want to grow in my leadership, start expressing and speaking to the person you want to become. And I want you to ask yourself, professionally speaking who was it that I want to be? How do I want to operate on a Wednesday? What what do I want my peers and my my co workers and teammates to think of me? When you have a clear vision of who you want to be professionally you can start showing up and practicing being that person we in the College of competence we call that practicing being our future self. We identify who is that future self that 2.0 version of you, and we practice being them. So okay, so let's that's our traditional workplace. Let's let's now shift but one final thing, it's really critical to celebrate yourself. One of the best ways that you can support yourself and support your confidence when you return back to work or when you're starting a new job is to is to learn how to self validate learn how to applaud yourself, learn how to recognize what is going well. And one of my favorite things to do is one of the methods we teach in the COC, we call it the 333 method. It's a three minute journaling process and worksheet that we we have that you can go through at night and you first write your three gratitudes then you acknowledge what my three wins today. What went well, where did I win and then hey, tomorrow in the workplace, how am I going to win? What am I three wins for tomorrow? You'd be amazed at how that will call On your anxiety in the overthinking that might happen at night, and also teach your brain to start saying, Well, I missed five things up, because I'm new, I'm learning. But these three things I did really well, that's great. I've mastered that. I'm proud of that. And it could be I've networked with that person or I learned this software and but slow down and give yourself credit we have such we have such this propensity and our brains, so a negativity bias, that we have to be very diligent and intentional about creating a positivity bias. So that slowing down and say, no, no, I've done well, here, here. And here. So let's shift gears and talk about confidence for entrepreneurs. The top things that make an entrepreneur confidence they grow their business, is clarity of vision, knowing for what you do, knowing what you really want with your vision, strong as building a strong network of mentors, supporters, other entrepreneurs. Resilience, I can't say that enough resilience, resilience, resilience, the ability to stay positive, and keep moving forward, despite setbacks and failures is the key to why some entrepreneurs succeed and others don't strong work ethic, I would, I would actually pair the strong work ethic with disciplined time management. And then adaptability being adaptable, because here's the deal, you there's going to be changes in the market, in your industry, in your business environment. And you're going to have to pivot make changes and, and, and be nimble as you grow your business, you're going to be convinced that this product or this service, or this one thing is the thing, that everybody's gonna run to it, and you know what's gonna happen, nobody's gonna want it. And then you'll think this is a throwaway idea, and people are gonna read into it. What I've learned in my 12 years of entrepreneurship, is it's trial and error. It the more you're willing to try new things, the more successful you will be. In order to be willing to try new things gotta be willing to fail. You gotta be you not even willing to fail, you got to pursue failure, because you're not worried about failure is sort of like a micro trophy that you collect on the way to showing yourself, I'm doing new things I'm trying, I'm putting myself out there. It's all experimentation, as you understand your client and your customer avatar and you play around with that and you show up on on how do I how do I create a cast a wider net? How do I get in front of new people? How do I make more offers, that is going to take resilience, creativity, and, and really confidence. Entrepreneurial confidence is truly found in it founded in the openness to the potential of negative motions. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, and there's a lot that resist trying new things, going live being vulnerable, trying a new online marketing thing, throwing some money at, you know, some money towards something that because they what happens is, there's no guarantee, often we get stuck, and we and we sabotage our own success, because we want the guarantee that it's going to work. But you know, what? The risk of it not working, the willingness of that open that negative emotion that might come with it, the disappointment, the shame, if you're willing to feel this potential emotions, you you, you are already turning up the dial of your entrepreneurial confidence. There's also willingness, there's a need to be willing to look stupid, to be different, then really what this is, is it's mastery of not caring what people think. And there really is this pursuit and play with failure and risk that that builds entrepreneurial confidence. And I found in my experience of my own personal journey, and that of those I work with, that the more you practice mastering your self validating internal voice, that is the voice that is cheering you on, the more confidence you will have, the more you will say, Okay, I'm on my way I am in fact on my way. And that didn't work. But I'm still on my way. And that was a disappointing but I'm still on my way, learning how to self validate that you are and that you can declare to yourself, I am a great leader in my business I have I have creative ideas I have value to put out in the world and continuing to believe that and having a habit of renewing your vision is so critical to your confidence in your in your own business. Because if you forget what your vision is, you will lose your motivation. You'll and when you lose motivation, you'll stop believing you'll start you'll stop posting on your, in your marketing, you'll stop trying new things, you'll you'll stop, you'll start thinking oh, my stuff's too expensive, and there's a recession and you'll get into this negative spiral that will suck you right in and spit you out. But if you have a habit of daily reminding yourself of why you wanted to run your own business, why you've decided go be bold and brave, why you have valued put out in the world. And it's sometimes it's gonna be a vision, maybe your vision is location independence. Maybe your vision is to be able to work from home and homeschool your kids at the same time. Maybe the vision is to be able to travel the world and have an income that is quadruple what anything you could have ever made in a traditional setting. But remember Whatever it is, remind yourself of the vision.
And then, the final thing I really, I really encourage you if you're an entrepreneur and you want to strengthen your confidence as how you show up as the CEO of your business, is start self identifying as a CEO, identifying as an entrepreneur who knows how to reframe self doubting thoughts, who is somebody who has mastery over their mind, you've just and you'd speak powerful things over yourself about yourself as a leader, about yourself as a creator about yourself in your money, mindset and your potential and your vision. Now, let's, let's shift a little bit, let's talk for a moment about how to appear more confident than you feel. And because feeling confident at work can be challenging, but there's several things that you can do to appear more confident, even if you don't feel that way. And that is confident body language. Standing up straight making eye contact uses just using gestures that convey competence and authority, speaking clearly and with conviction, being direct and to the point in your communication without over apologizing. A dressing for success. dressing well can make you feel more confident, and help others perceive you as competent and professional. And this goes guys in the workplace, where you're actually going to workplace or in your own workplace, from your office at home, for those of you who are post pandemic, still able to work from home or if you have your own business, there is a difference. I never get work done. That's good work. Unless I'm dressed. And I work from home, nobody's gonna see me. But I'm dressed. I got cute earrings on my hair's done, my makeups done. Because when I dress for success, I feel more successful. And it conveys in my business. When you are prepared, being prepared for meetings, presentations, that's going to present you as more confident. And when you take risks and step outside of your comfort zone. So volunteering for new projects, taking on leadership roles, challenging yourself to take risks, other people, even if you're terrified on the inside, people will perceive you as more confident. But I gotta tell you, one of the easiest ways to appear more confident than you feel is to be positive and optimistic. Because positive positivity and optimism can be contagious, but they can also help you feel more confident. And when you are a positive optimistic person, people are drawn to that. And when people are drawn to you, you will feel good about you, you will feel better. And then you will feel confident. I also think one of the best ways to do this is to remind yourself, it's okay that I don't feel confident, I am confident, I've just decided that I am. And that is a way that we start identifying what are some power thoughts we can speak over herself, when we don't feel confident. And it might be something as simple as this, I'm always good at figuring things out. Or maybe if you have some social anxiety or you feel shy in the workplace, you can even just say speaking competence over yourself with a power phrase like this. I'm a very likable person who connects well with others. Now, I might not feel confident, but reminding myself, I'm going to show up with more competence, because I'm gonna remember the eye and I'm actually really skilled at connecting with others. And so these power phrases are pep talks that you can give yourself, you could even say to yourself, it's okay, you don't feel confident, you're gonna go forward and you're gonna be great at work today, and you're going to do your best and it doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to be excellence, right? We're going to pursue excellence, not perfection. And excellence sometimes means that things don't get done. Excellence sometimes means you need to ask for help and bring people into a project. And appearing more competent is really a matter of practice and perception. I remember I started I started appearing more confident than I was simply by by being more positive. And by making the decision that I was going to be the first person to say hello, and that I was always going to have open body language meaning my hands are turned out a little bit. My shoulders are rolled back and as a former swimmer. Ooh, good. Posture is tough for me to remember always such right. I used to excuse me, let me correct that. Now I have much better posture, but I have to be mindful of it. But acting more competent than you are is truly fun. It is in acting as if. And my great mentor, Kim ticket always told me this act as if you belong. Because you do. And I will still remember the day we were at a on a business conference when we were working for the same company together. And oh gosh, where do we went by? Some ridiculous, like $1,000 Night hotel. And it might have been the plaza, right? And she was like and we were in our workout gear. And she said let's stop and have a coffee and I was like oh let's go to Starbucks. She's like, No, no, going in here. No, it's a bit Kim. We're not spending the night. We're not guests. She goes, they don't know that. Act as if you belong Blackwell and you will do. I will never forget, I was like, I walked in as a girl, that they're going to know I don't belong here. I can't afford this place. This was like 15 years ago. And she goes, Yeah, you do you belong anywhere you decide you belong. And she would then it's an it's a habit, I now teach my kids. And if you ask you walk into a place and act as if you belong there without you, people will perceive that you do, you will already be more competent to act as if act as if you are confident, act as if you're blown. And then number two, decide that you belong. Number three, know what value you bring. It's really important that you know this is in relationships, this is in the workplace, know what value you bring, you might be comparing yourself to your co worker who does projects faster than you and you've perceived him to be smarter than you. But maybe the value you bring is not the speed at which you do things, but maybe the the, the accuracy with which you complete your projects. Or maybe the value you bring is that you are a coachable person who is the glue of the team. As far as the positive atmosphere of the workplace. There's so much more value than actual like, here's my resume. But it's up to you to go here's what I know, I bring into the workplace. This is why I'm a great hire. This is why any team is lucky to have me on it because man I dedicate myself to my work I'm on on time person, I'm eager to grow, I want to read a book that somebody recommends to me, I'm a great co worker, know what value you bring. Number four, being a person who's continually seeking growth and excellence can give you confidence. Because then you're not putting pressure on yourself, you're not expecting yourself to be perfect, you can just go okay, cool, this is exciting. This is something else for me to learn and improve. And then finally, if you want to appear more confident, it's really critical that you like yourself, like yourself, so that here's the deal. If you like yourself, it doesn't matter if somebody else doesn't. And I say that often when I find that somebody I can get that like weird feeling that I'm like, I'm just not someone's cup of tea, I'm able to say and you know, the human me still bothered bothered by that. But I'm able to go, okay, Trish, so they don't. So worst case scenario, so and so doesn't like you and
I like me, I love being me. They're missing out. That's all you leave it at that. And that way you can deal with because I think so often we get wrapped up in toxic workplaces and negative coworkers, guys that is ever rewear we personalize it, we make it we dramatize it, you can cut a lot of that drama down, but just going okay, some people don't like me, I like me. But you got to do the work to like you yourself. That is that is the work we have a lot of tools for you to do that in the college competence. But when you want to speak just for a moment to knowing that you belong at the table, this metaphorical table, whether we're whether it's the workplace, whether it's this new profession, and maybe you just got promoted to partner and but you're you're feeling even more pressure, maybe you've raised your rates on your products or your services. And now you feel like you need to overcompensate and do some extra and, and you go over above and beyond to prove yourself, look, drop it, you belong at the table. If somebody bought your services at that price, they mean they that means they agree with the value of what you're offering. If you were given that salary, that's twice what you ever had before. But now you're thinking Well, I gotta go, I got to do an extra 10 hours a week of work in you weren't told that. That means you mean you we got we got some work to do. You can, you can drop the proving yourself. You don't need to strive. And also I want to invite you into into something I hope alleviate some of this pressure. You don't have to make it a big deal that you have some thoughts that are in that that impostor syndrome narrative. That's just your brain being a brain. So I think that there's this this desire when we are feeling like imposters that we we try to list out how much we're doing or we overwork or we try to be the super worker. Guys don't take on other people's tasks. Don't over commit yourself unnecessarily to projects. Don't worry about if you're if you're like just be excellent. Do what you're supposed to do and and know that the know the value you put out and be excellent you don't need to overcompensate. You don't need to overwork because then you'll you'll overwork yourself into burnout and resentment. And that's not cute, and it's not confident. Now how do you stand out how do you know that you belong at the table with confidence without over compensating well decide to be invaluable decide to be the most invaluable person on the team. This is going to look different it's going to require some creativity ask yourself and not with your time don't give more time that's not the point we're not trying to steal from your your life life. You if we we sleep, we work and we live sometimes, there's a lot of people who forget the other part, the most important part but living part. Also, we need to, when you master your mindset about your thoughts about work, have, have gratitude for your work, have gratitude for the opportunity to make an income, have gratitude for the childcare that you have, so that you can work with focus, not your mindset and your thoughts about work. If you have any dread, it's going to come out in the way you're showing up. Appreciate your employer and crave more crave more guidance, more mentorship, you can ask for more responsibility. If you have the time capacity and you've mastered your time management on your current projects. Reflect on how you can offer more value, not more time, be the generator of creative solutions and innovative ideas. And then really, I think something that will stand out more than anything is commit to being somebody who is impeccable with their word. Do what you say you're going to do to the people you work with, to your co workers, to your employer, to yourself to your clients, to your contractors, just do what you say you're going to do. And here's the other thing. I think the you know, my swim coach taught me this in college. You guys probably have heard this story but every day now in swimming, especially collegiate level, do one, two practices a day y'all every single practice at the top of the workout, he would give us our workouts we'd put it on the on the deck and see it top of the work top of the piece of paper and the bottom of the piece paper everyday. Tim Kelly three years. Communication is the key to life. I remember rolling my eyes one day like Tim I get it. He's like you don't get it. No, you don't get it enough. It's a little bit Ted lasso, right. Like he says that one thing he says couple things. And he's like, Nope, no, yeah, they're like, Yeah, we get no, you don't get it yet. And here I am 20 years later, really thankful that Tim Kelly, so three years times two practices a day for the entire swim season, which was all year long. It's a lot of times, that of all the things this coach could have said to us. He shows that communication is the key to life. It is the communication communication with yourself communication in the workplace. If you want to stand out, just become a great communicator. That doesn't mean that you're leading the meetings. I mean, that is communication and if you want to become a great communicator that you will be perceived very as, as somebody with massive confidence. And I can help you get there for sure. And where many of you are there, but even just communicating confidently with your boss not avoiding not having this like oh, okay, they haven't I guess I hope that I'm not just communicate. Hey, I've noticed you've been a little bit absent. Can I Can you check? Can we check in on my work, ask for meetings, ask for feedback. Communication is the key to life and the key to appearing confident in the workplace. Now, if this episode has resonated for you and encouraged you, I've got some great episodes for you to listen to. And a couple are some throwbacks, which you might not have seen in your podcast app, so get ready. And the show notes by the way, if you're like I'm on the treadmill, or I'm driving church, I can't write these down by want to listen, all of my show notes for my episodes are on my website. So you can go to this. Go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash 544. And you'll get these all listed out. But here are the episodes on if this if you're jamming out on today's topic number 539. Stop trying to prove yourself. You're already enough. So that's episode 539. Episode 529. Playing small how to live up to your potential episode 223 impostor syndrome, the biggest liar in your life. That's a really good episode. I mean, a couple years old, right, but an oldie but a goodie 223 And then 422 Episode 422 was another episode we dedicated to imposter syndrome, how to win against impostor syndrome. So that's for 22 to 23 529 539 they're all on my website. We're gonna close out with our listener of the episode it is Monica she says this, I just wanted to say thank you. I've been listening to your podcast and love them. The other day was especially helpful listening to podcasts 2521 tips on public speaking 521 tips on public speaking this is super relevant to work confidence. I used it before I had to present it work and all of your words spoke to me and completely changed my mindset. I will continue to look up relatable topics as I struggle with competence and not feeling good enough it truly does take work. I'm so glad I stumbled upon you on Instagram. Guys I am honest that go to Trish underscore Blackwell I'm also still like Facebook Trish Blackwell coaching on Facebook. And Monica you're right it does take work but the work here's what I want you guys to know as you think about the mindset work that we do here the confidence work. The work is worth it. When you do the work you can create the life of your dreams when you do the work, you create an extraordinary life. And it is work, but it doesn't require that much time, right? It's micro work. It's little pockets of work. And it's investment in yourself that will pay dividends upon dividends upon dividends, the results. It's worth it. So I'm so proud of you guys. I hope this I hope that I see some of you guys, come join us for stop caring month. Like I said, it's going to be epic. And we've got some really great topics coming up next week we're gonna be talking about compare and despair. The week after that we're gonna be talking about confidence, immersion and faking it till you make it so make sure you're subscribed. Share the show with a friend say hi to me on socials. I would love to say hi and send you some love back and go out there today. Go be more of who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of the Confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com. the COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet, and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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