LIMITING THOUGHTS AND WEAK BELIEF PROBLEMS
Limiting language and thought errors can keep you from the live you were meant to live. In this episode, we explore the ways in which our use of language can inadvertently limit our thinking and hold us back from reaching our full potential. From using absolute language to engaging in black-and-white thinking, we discuss the common pitfalls of our everyday speech and provide practical strategies for expanding our language and shifting our mindset to overcome these limitations. Join us for a thought-provoking discussion on the power of language to shape our reality. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/543
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re covering:
- Limiting language that you might not even realize you’re having and allowing
- How to recognize thought errors – and what to do to take action
- The steps to start taking responsibility for your thought management
Thought errors might be creating a negative mindset … and a negative mindset creates a negative life.
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WHAT IS LIMITING LANGUAGE
Limiting language refers to words or phrases that can restrict our beliefs, actions, or abilities by creating negative self-talk, reinforcing self-doubt, or imposing limitations on what we can achieve. Examples of limiting language include:
- “I can’t”
- “It’s impossible”
- “I’m not good enough”
- “I always/never”
- “I should/shouldn’t”
- “That’s just the way I am”
- “I’ll never be able to do that”
- “It’s too hard”
- “I’m too old/young”
- “I’m not lucky enough”
By becoming aware of these limiting phrases and replacing them with more positive and empowering language, we can shift our mindset, increase our self-confidence, and achieve greater success in our personal and professional lives.
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This episode is [sponsored by/brought to you by] BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/CONFIDENCEPOD and get on your way to being your best self.
Getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we’re always growing and changing.
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HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE LIMITING YOURSELF?
You may be limiting yourself if you notice patterns of negative self-talk or thoughts that hold you back from taking action towards your goals or pursuing new experiences.
Other signs of self-limitation may include feeling stuck or stagnant in your personal or professional life, avoiding challenges or risks out of fear of failure, or setting low expectations for yourself based on past experiences or beliefs about your abilities.
Additionally, if you find yourself making excuses or blaming external factors for your lack of progress or success, it may be a sign that you are limiting yourself mentally.
WHAT TO DO TO STOP LIMITING YOURSELF
Identify limiting beliefs: The first step in stopping mental limitations is to recognize and acknowledge limiting beliefs or negative self-talk that may be holding you back.
Challenge limiting beliefs: Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, you can begin to challenge them by questioning their validity, exploring evidence to the contrary, and reframing negative thoughts into positive affirmations.
Take action: Finally, it’s important to take action and step outside of your comfort zone by setting achievable goals, trying new experiences, and embracing failure as a learning opportunity. By taking small steps towards your goals, you can build confidence and overcome mental limitations over time.
HOW TO TAKE ACTION ON THOUGHT-ERRORS
Take massive responsibility for your mind.
Your thought management is 100% up to you.
No magical circumstance will change and suddenly create an optimistic mindset. You have to do the work to change your mindset first.
- Where are you abdicating responsibility?
- Where are you waiting for something to change – but not doing the work of change?
WEAK BELIEF PROBLEMS
Thought mistakes repeated over and over.
I can’t help it…
I’m waiting for the right time …
Someone will come and rescue me…
THOUGHT MANAGEMENT RESPONSIBILITY
Mastery of the 5 core habits of confidence
Self-validation and self-encouragement
Neutralization and curiosity
Thinking on purpose, with purpose
Evaluation your daily mindset
Establishing growth standards for excellence
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#537: The Voice in Your Head
#540: The 5 Core Pillars of Confidence
You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. On your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles, and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, there, it's Trish Blackwell and you're listening to the confidence podcast. This is episode 543. We're talking about limiting language, internal thought patterns that are blocking you you've heard this adage before that the only thing between you and success you and what you want are your own thoughts. And while that is true, it is also discouraging when you feel stuck in your own thoughts. When you feel like you've got your own glass ceiling, and you don't know how to shatter it, yet you can see it. We're gonna talk about all of that and how to actually identify what thoughts are blocking you where your thought mistakes are happening, and how to limit yourself. So if you're new, the confidence podcast, I'm so glad I'm so glad you're here. Welcome we are we like to consider ourselves, Well, the most encouraging podcast that you can find, you will always walk away feeling encouraged, inspired and motivated. And this week, we are going to be diving into limiting language that you might not be even realize that you're having or allowing, we're going to talk about how to recognize these thought errors, whether they're inherited or they are self created. Sometimes we get thought errors and limiting language and limiting beliefs that get passed down to us whether it's through the way your parents operated, whether it's through cynicism of of friends, or people in the workplace. There's an undercurrent of negativity in our society that is prevalent, and it's so prevalent, that most people don't even know it's there. Most people who are negative, don't even know or recognize their negative, but we're going to learn how to recognize those negativity, neural pathways, and limiting that thoughts and question them and know what to do to take action. And then I'm going to share with you the steps to start taking responsibility for your own thought management and to just be transparent with you your thought errors might be creating a negative mindset that you don't even realize is happening. And remember this, a negative mindset creates a negative life, it is hard to be a person who enjoys life. When at the core, you're coming from a negative, well, right, we want to drink the water from the well of our minds that is flowing with goodness, not with with burden and stress and overwhelm. And that's why I thought management is so critical. That is why the way you think is what gives you your confidence why you came here because you want to feel confident you want to feel courageous, you want to feel capable of everything, your fullest capacity that God has hardwired into you. You want to make a difference in the world. You want that breakthrough and you'll have the ability to achieve anything and all of it and then some as long as you get your thoughts right. So if you're new to the show, look, my name is Trish. I help women who are high achievers who put too much pressure on themselves. Learn how to stop self sabotaging, stop overthinking, stop comparing and start thriving. My clients and my students learn how to lose confidence create unwavering belief in their wildest dreams. All sounds too good to be true. But it is not all while having more fun, living with more joy, less stress, and creating the impact in the world they were created to make. Okay, let's hit up our review of the week. This is from Alyssa. She said this showing me a new way of life five stars. Hey, Trish, I'm Alyssa and I'm an avid lover of your podcasts. And with each episode, I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I found your podcast at this point in my life. I'm 21. But then in a mindset that thrives off insecurity and chronic comparison, I always wished I could become a more confident and happy person. And your words and ideas have made me realize that I am more capable than I ever imagined. Especially the idea that happiness is a choice. That was an aha moment for me. You have been such a wonderful influence in my life and ever since I found your podcast, I have been noticing that I am taking the steps to create a beautiful life for myself. Thank you for being you and preaching that it's a beautiful thing to love who you are. I hope one day that I can meet you, Alyssa. I was. I think one day we will meet I think one day you and I are face to face, at least on a screen and a zoom call in a workshop in the College of competence and I can't wait to serve you at that next level. I am so proud of you for finding the show for sharing it with others for taking the time to write a review, it means it moves me. And I like I am smiling ear to ear as I'm saying this because I to remember the moments where I had those aha us where I realized happiness is a choice, when I realized that I can break the chains that were dragging me down with chronic comparison and insecurity. And, you know, as we're talking today that, that I don't get to continue to indulge in the thought that of this is just how I think. So for so long. I stayed stuck in my capacity because I thought well, I you know, I'm just a realist. And I, you know, I'm trying my best and I've passed my peak and I missed out my opportunities, I had a lot of limiting language. And you guys I hope as you listen today, there's a limiting language that is holding you back. That is that is clouding the beautiful sunshine that can happen in your mind that you identify what we don't bring awareness to what we can't name we can't heal. And so that's why it's, it can feel very vulnerable and overwhelming. Sometimes, when you listen to coaching to go, oh, there's so much to work on, please let that not be a bad thing. What a privilege to have the insight to have the vision to see where you can grow. Like you're looking at this beautiful garden of your mind. And it's beautiful. And then you zoom in you go, Oh, wait, there's some there's some work to be done. There's some weeds and please, this is a this is a place. You were in a place with me, where you don't get to judge yourself, where you don't get to, you can tell that self critical voice to get out. It's not welcome here that we are going to look at it with curiosity and compassion and go interesting. There's some weeds here. Let's clean it up. It's no big deal. We all have weeds, we all clean them up. What a privilege it is to get to see where you have the opportunity in the room for growth. You guys, let's talk about limiting language. What is it? Limiting language in general refers to the words or phrases that can restrict your beliefs, your actions or your abilities. What happens is that it creates that low grade negative self talk that voice in your head. Now, if you've heard in the last couple episodes we had a whole week. In fact, Episode 537 is a whole episode on the voice in your head, how to create how to make it powerful and positive. If you've not yet listened to that episode, I do urge you to do that. And the next step of that episode resonates with you and you're really ready to change your internal language and the voice in your head, which dictates your entire life experience, how you show up for yourself, how you show up for your dreams, and also how you show up and appear to others. That whole that whole episode is gonna be a really great start for you. And then we did an entire week in the College of competence called Voice week, when you joined the college of competence you joined today you get instant access to the entire week of coaching. I think it's a 30 page, maybe 25 page workbook to implement you as it will change everything changing the voice in your head is one of the most powerful things you can do.
Examples though, how do you know if you need to change the voice in your head? How
do you know if you're limiting yourself? Well, a couple things that are common that we often say and we just allow is I can't it's impossible. I'm not good enough. I also beware of sweeping statements. I always struggle with consistency. Not true. Because if chances are if you're a functioning adult, you probably consistently brush your teeth. We've got to be careful not to make these gaping statements. always or never. We don't live and believe me it's coming from a person who lived in the land of black and white I'm a black and white all or nothing thinker. And I've done a decade of work in therapy to be a person in the land. What my what I like to call the land of gray. But I'm not we're all if you find yourself thinking or saying always or never that's limiting. Or I should or shouldn't also limiting or that's just the way I am or I've always been this way also limiting I'll never be able to or I've haven't been able to figure this out. Limiting I don't know where to start limiting I don't have enough time I'm not I'm too tired. Limiting It's too hard. Limiting. I'm too old I'm too young limiting to average limiting I'm not lucky enough I don't have an inheritance I don't have this I didn't have these right the right parents I didn't go to the right schools limit all of it is just a story. And of all the stories that you can tell yourself you get to choose Why choose one that limits you? Once you I become aware of your limiting phrases You start replacing him with more positive impair and empowering language, then you can shift your mindset, you can increase your confidence, and then your internal your outcome changes. Really the key to success is believing that you're on your way is believing that you were you were created for it is believing that there is something in this world that only you can do. One of our, one of our core tenants are pillars of competence. And if you haven't listened to that, that's a great episode a couple episodes ago, 540 is, is that is to know well, we tend to be confident you have to know who you are, you have to know that you matter. You have to know what you want, you have to know how to think which is what we're talking about today, and all the work that we do in the college competence. And then you have to know that your future rocks that you have, your future is greater than your past, you have great things that you were created on purpose with purpose. There's something great in the world that you can do. But you need to be the best version of yourself. That's why this work matters. And you've got to believe that you're not stuck. I think for years, I limited myself in my language by just saying I'll always be this way. I'll always struggle with dot, dot dot, I've never been good enough. I've always had great this, these really, that's so funny. When you start paying attention to your words, you realize how limiting they are. You also realize sometimes just how negative and self pitying they are, I just want to encourage you to take one minute today and ask yourself and simply ask yourself, write this down on paper, and then let your brain go to work. Where am I limiting myself in my thoughts? Where am I limiting myself in the story, I'm telling myself right now about my life. And we just want to bring attention to it, when we bring attention to it, that's when we can do something about it. That's when we can shift it. That's when we can take some action. And I gotta tell you, when you unlimit yourself when you go, you know what I am, I'm ready to stop being in my own way. Sometimes it's sometimes you can navigate on your own often we need coaching that has why like you, if you are jamming out on the podcast, and if this podcast has been a blessing in your life, I want to I want to let you know you're just scratching the tip of the iceberg. This is just the tip of the iceberg of what coaching is really like. And you might be thinking I can't afford one on one coaching. That is exactly why I created the College of competence. It is the most affordable and the most effective coaching, life coaching and competence coaching and transformational coaching that is on the internet, we believe that hands down so much so that it comes with a money back guarantee. You can check it out at college competence.com. But I just want you to know that when you find yourself in a limiting place, their blind spots, often we have these mental blind spots, which is why coaching is so critical. My life changed when I started to get coached. So how do you know? If you have that blind spot? How do you know if you are limiting yourself? Well, you may be limiting yourself if you notice, there's some patterns of negative self talk, or things feel very hard if life feels very hard. Or if you're telling yourself the story that it's harder for you than anyone else. Or that you always feel behind. And that you so much so that you you can you feel like you're kind of just treading water and you have dreams you have desires you you look at the burning aspirations of your heart, but you kind of laugh and you feel silly because you think Well, who am I to think that I could even do that if I can barely keep up Now chances are, you've got some limiting thoughts. And remember this your thoughts, create your results, your limiting thoughts, we will start acting out and we behave from the place of our thoughts. Because if you are limiting yourself and you're starting even with a with a with a low grade thought, like, ah, you know, I want to make sure it's worth the effort. I don't really know maybe I'll wait. Or I'm not sure if someone like me can achieve something like that. Or I've tried losing this weight for the last five years. Maybe I should change my goal. All of those limiting thoughts, all of those limiting stories with what happens is it changes your emotion. Remember your thoughts create your emotions and your emotions, create, generate your actions, your actions give you the results of life that you have. But if your thoughts are a little bit of well, let's just see, I hope it works very limiting. If you're going if you're operating from a place of hope instead of a place of decisiveness. you're limiting yourself if not hoping for you to be successful. I've decided that you can be successful. I'm not hoping I can make a million dollars in my business in one year. I've decided that I will and I went when I don't know but I've decided I'm not hoping because when I when I hope I'm like it's just this like kind of open idea of maybe it'll work. I don't quite I can't quite lock in the belief when you have a decision. safeness to your thoughts, you have decisiveness and your emotion you are determination that decisiveness of thought creates a determined emotion. When you operate from a place of determination, your ability to take action and take massive consistent action, it skyrockets. And when my coaching if you've been around at all, you know that one of my favorite things to say is that extraordinary things are done by doing ordinary things with extraordinary consistency, the key to success, the key to break through the key to weight loss, the key to making millions of dollars, the key to having an amazing marriage, the key to getting the job of your dreams, the key to anything you want is consistency. Little things done, over and over. And over again, the key to being the greatest athlete of all time, is being consistent in the smallest details that other people get bored doing. But in order to have that consistency, you need to feel determined, you need to have operate from a place of belief that you know that what you do matters, even if you don't get the immediate results. And so we get that's why your thoughts matter so much and having determined and very decisive thoughts versus open, lose thoughts. So you're gonna know you're limiting yourself, if you're not being consistent in your life. If you're not getting the results that you actually want, you're limiting yourself, but it's not in your behaviors, your behaviors are the reflection of your thoughts. So your behaviors are keeping you from the results you want. But we don't just change the behavior by being super disciplined, we change our behavior. This is a lot of the core of cognitive behavioral therapy if we change the behavior, but changing the thoughts and the way we approach it. Other signs that you might be limiting yourself and self limitation include if you know you feel stuck, if you feel stagnant, whether personally or professionally. Or if you find yourself avoiding challenges, putting things off, fearing risk of fear, failure or feeling like you don't want to you don't want to try something because you don't want to be made fun of or you don't want to look like an idiot. Or setting low expectations of yourself based on past experiences, past experiences or beliefs about your abilities. I was in this face for a long time. It was in the space because I built my past experience was that my main dream of making Olympics didn't happen. And I thought I thought that nothing else mattered. I thought I lost my big opportunity in life to make a difference. And it took one coach to say one thing, one sentence, My friends can change your life. And this coach Todd Durkin said, you can make a world class impact. And it opened my eyes to go Wait, what? At my age, I was 25 at the time or 24. But I thought it was too I thought I'd lost I thought it was too far gone. I thought I had missed out.
And I believe his thought I borrowed that thought and I said I was made to make a difference. I'm a I am a difference maker. I am a difference maker and world changer. And if you're not sure where to start with unlimited your bliss, maybe you start with that power phrase, I speak this over my children at night before they fall asleep. I whispered into their ear when they go to school, le Baker, you are a world changer. And difference maker. Because they are because their kindness makes a difference. The way they think about the world makes a difference, the way they that all of it matters. And I need them to believe that the more you remember, a belief is a thought that you've repeated enough that it becomes true. And another way to know if you're limiting yourself as if you find yourself making excuses or blaming external factors for your lack of progress or success. And so look, here's how I know like if you're if your life is not exactly where you want it to be right now, in what in any capacity, the chances are where you're feeling most frustrated with most stuck, you're limiting in your story. you're limiting yourself in the story you're telling yourself whether it's how you manage your time, whether it's maybe you're limiting yourself with your with your thoughts about money scarcity, or time scarcity or ability scarcity, often limitation if we look at this really comes down to a scarcity mindset. And my friend, I want to welcome you into the world just come into this magical land of abundance. Because you have more than enough and you have a you have a heavenly father who will supply all that you need. The time, the favor the resources, the ideas, the growth, the wisdom. We honestly confidence is this is is activated faith and the willingness to to believe that you don't have limits. One of my favorite things about the Ironman I did my first Ironman. Oh I think in 2012 I did Ironman France and the reason it was so significant it was a turning point of my life. Because I because the Iron Man theme and logo if you're not familiar with the iron Manta it's an endurance triathlon where you swim 2.4 Miles bike 112 And you run a marathon 26.2 miles. It's a very, very long race, very long race. And their, their tagline is limitlessness. be limitless without limits. And if you're really ready to break this glass ceilings of your life, I want you to lean into this. Play around with, I have no limits. I have no limits, I can do anything I want with my life. There's always a way to pivot, there's always a way to tap into more buttons, there's always a way to change the story. I'm telling myself, because I want to pause for a quick break from a word from our sponsors. This week, we have two sponsors. Our first is BetterHelp. This episode is brought to you by better health, I want you to give online therapy a try a better help.com/confidence pod and get on your way to being your best self. Because we know that getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we're always growing and changing. Therapy is all about deepening your self awareness and understanding because sometimes we don't know what we want, or why we react the way we do until we talk things through better help connect you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self discovery from wherever you are. It's helpful for learning coping mechanisms for setting boundaries. It's not just for anyone who's experienced major trauma, it's for everyone. I can tell you this therapy was a significant contribution to the turning points of my life. And I will I highly recommend that everyone has a therapist. If you're thinking of starting therapy give BetterHelp a try. Here's the great thing. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. All you do is fill out a brief questionnaire get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Visit betterhelp.com/competence pod today and get 10% off your first month. That's better H elp.com/competence pod. And our second sponsor of the episode is abide. If the first thing you do when you wake up is look at your phone. I want you to try this instead. Instead of checking your phone, your your social media, open up the bide app and start your day in the spirit and peace of Christ. If you can't fall asleep, it's a great strategy to find rest as you listen to bedtime stories by abide doze off peacefully as you meditate on God's word. Abide as the number one Christian meditation app, abide users report less stress, lower levels of anxiety and depression and better sleep. 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Let's talk about the next important thing, which is what to do about this if you've recognized that you have limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs. Oh, what do we do to stop it first I want to rather than I don't love thinking about it in terms of Gosh, I'm limiting myself because my nature of having a naturally self critical voice that only invited me to beat myself up more. And so I like the term thought error. I like terming a limiting belief as a thought error. Because when I label it a limiting belief it feels very big. It feels very permanent. It feels very matter of fact like well, I guess I'm just limiting myself and because this is my belief. It even though we know that we can change our beliefs because I want to remind you a belief is simply a thought that you've repeated over and over until you believe it to be true. I when I identify a limiting belief in my own brain, I see that little cobweb. The cup feels less of a cobweb, which is a very temporary thing you could easily knock down and it just feels more of a pillar. And so I like to think about them as thought errors. So I just have a thought that has some untruth to it. I have some thought that has some limitation to it. I have a thought error, just like in a computer or there's a computer error that happens. And often you just reboot, you shut the program down and you restart, you turn the device off, and you turn it back on, the error disappears, I want to invite you into considering that some of your little limiting beliefs are as easy to get rid of easy to redo as that. It's a simple, simple shut down and turn that golf because once you identify live new beliefs, and you recognize and acknowledge them, and then this very specific, very specific negative self talk that's holding you back, then you can challenge it. So we have to recognize it, challenge it, and then take action on it. That's the process. But the thing is, when you recognize and identify, eliminate belief or thought error, it's really important versus saying, Well, I have this limiting belief, to actually dial it down and say, What exactly am I thinking? What is the exact thought that I'm thinking that is the fire? Because we can't reframe or rewind, right? or renew, generalized vague concept. But we can do that to a very specific thought. So knowing and recognize the belief invites you into recognizing where in this thought pattern is my thought error? What is the exact thought that is holding me back? And then you challenge it to maybe the thought maybe the limiting belief is that you don't think you'll be able to be debt free, right? Maybe you're working on a debt free snowball, and that feels very just overwhelming. It's so far away. But and that could be your limiting belief. I don't think I could do it. But the real thought error is that debt is too big. And I'll always struggle under it. Do you feel how much more specific that is? Now, same concept, if you are limiting belief is about your personal accomplishment, something you can achieve a physical goal of yours. A goal of leadership, maybe you want to be in a place of massive influence. But you feel small and you feeling overwhelmed. And you're thinking maybe my dreams are too big. So the limiting belief is the questioning of yourself of our dreams too big, maybe I can't do it. But the real thought the thought air under the limiting belief is someone like me, probably can't do something like that. And then once we identify a specific thought, that's where we challenge that's where we question. That's where we go, Wait, is that true? We want to ask ourselves, is that true? What if I'm wrong?
Let's question their validity. Once you question the validity, validity, you explore the evidence to the contract. That means you actually have to spend the time going, what if someone like me can do something like that? What if I did the math and chunked it down and really worked with a financial planner, and looked at that this debt is not insurmountable? You explore the evidence to the contrary, you don't just make it a suggestion, I really need to emphasize this new spend time challenging the thought you spend time making a list proving writing down all the other possibilities that could be opposite of what the current thought error belief that you have, you spend your time looking around how much there is evidence to the contrary, I did this when I was working on my money mindset. And was trying to shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. So I did a lot of the questioning the validity of struggle, there's never going to be enough, or there's not I really had a deep rooted thought that there wasn't a lot of money in the world, or not enough for people like me or my family. And so I explored evidence to the contrary down to when I started walking around, I started counting up how much each car that I passed, walking on the street was worth and how much people spend on houses, and how much people were spending in a given restaurant. Seeing how much people were spending on things that weren't not necessary necessary, but were for pleasure. And I realized, oh my gosh, there is money everywhere. I started looking at everywhere I was walking, there was money everywhere. And it just started supporting the the the evidence to the contrary that I had a previous belief that there wasn't enough money to go around. Right? So looking around so that's an that's a physical example of exploring evidence to the contrary looking for evidence, or in your day to day life walking around tasking your brain to go show you examples of what is possible of what is opposite of your thought error. And then also another way we we challenged our limiting beliefs and the more specifically that limiting thought error is to reframe that negative thought as every time you see it every time that it thought error comes up. Catch it now mentally in the air, look at it. And go, No, I'm gonna reframe this I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna speak differently to this. And if you're not sure how to do the reframe process, we have an entire workshop on that we teach our students in the College of competence that it's a core tenant of, of how I teach and how I coach. So we have worksheets for you, we have a process that I would love to teach you when you join us. But when you take action, when you start reframing, when you question when you explore evidence to the contrary, that's when that's the process of action. And when you're in the process of starting to take mental action, you start to take more physical action, and you will tell yourself, hey, it is safe to step outside of my comfort zone. So often we limit, we stay out in the comfort zone, honestly, because we just want to know it's safe, are we safe? Can we do it. But when you can learn to support yourself in your own inner self talk, you can know that stretching the comfort zone, while it feels uncomfortable, while it feels unsafe is actually still safe. Because you can create your own safety with your mind and by what you're focusing on. And so we start stretching the comfort zone by setting micro goals, little tiny goals to prove to yourself wait a second, I just I just pushed my limit weight, I just want to prove that thought era wrong. Wait, this feels different. You start trying new experiences embracing failure as a learning opportunity not as something to avoid or be ashamed of. And so by taking these small steps towards your goals, you end up overcoming these mental limitations. One little one at a time, we're chipping away at it like chipping away stone or chipping away at a big chunk of ice. And, and it will open you up because the limiting thoughts if we go to that, that that imagery of a big chunk of big block of ice, there's a beautiful sculpture or go to block of stone as well, I just happens to be I just saw some ice ice sculptures. But you can see this beautiful sculpture is underneath that this amazing potential, but it's been protected by the block you have to do the work of chipping it away. And that is what we do we take massive action on thought errors. And how do you do that in a larger sense, if I pull it back? I think it's it's really stepping in to becoming a person who takes massive responsibility for your mind. you master your mind or your mind will master you. And your thought management is 100% up to you. There's no magical circumstance that's going to change and suddenly create this optimistic mindset. There's nothing that's going to switch that's going to flip next week, and you're gonna magically believe in yourself and have not limit yourself anymore and be really bold and courageous. You've got to do the work. You've got to do the work to change your thoughts. Because when you do your thoughts change your life, you change your thoughts, you change your life, but you've got to do the work that change your mindset first. So two questions for you consider where are you currently abdicating your responsibility? Are you saying I don't have time to journal? I don't have time to think about what I think about I don't have time to work with a coach. I I'll do that when I have less time when I'm not in school when I'm not transitioning jobs when I'm not. When my kids aren't so young. Like we often I know, I know I did. I put off mine management, where maybe you're abdicating responsibility by saying, you know, I'd prefer to watch Netflix than read that book that's going to help grow me or read that book that's going to help me get closer to to God in my in my spiritual walk. So let's an honest assessment, not a judging assessment. Let's just know, where are you currently abdicating responsibility that you can say, hey, I want to be a person who takes massive responsibility for my mind. And where are you waiting for something to change, but not doing the work of change? So it's a hard question. But gosh, the answer is so much so insightful. So opening where are you waiting for something to change, but not doing the work of change? And there's some some some belief problems, some belief statements and some some thought errors that often are mis thought mistakes repeated over and over when we say things like I can't help it or waiting for the right time or I don't know there's always I had this undercurrent thought that someone special is going to come and rescue me. And the reality is that it never doesn't you your thoughts, you changing your mind is what starts the turnaround. So let's talk about what does it mean to manage your thoughts? What does it mean? I just told you take massive responsibility for the for your management of your mind. Okay, great. Thanks, Josh. How right here's a couple things I have written down for you one master the five core habits, the five pillars of confidence, which are gonna remind you know who you are. Know why you matter. Know what you want. Know how to think. And know that you have a great future know that your future rocks do daily self reflection, journal gratitude journal, learn how to parent yourself parent yourself mentally is a practice that we, we work on in the college confidence self validating self encouraged be learned to have and shift to a inner voice that is self encouraging and self coaching versus self critical and self criticizing. Practice the mental practice of neutralization, acceptance and curiosity. Practice thinking on purpose with purpose, I sometimes my my COC students or my my clients, I send them out to simply go think on a walk for 15 minutes with little prompts that guide them to do different things, but starting to play with your brain and tell your brain when you want it to think when you want it to focus how to do that and learning how to have a brain that focuses we have a lot of tools that we teach in the COC on hyper focus on maximizing your time management. And yes, this even works for people with ADHD, ADD an add to task your brain. And to stay on task. Now it's gonna look different for each every one of us depending on capacity and capabilities. But it's a skill, it's a skill, it's something that you can train your brain to do. And there's lots of little hacks that we can do to set ourselves up for success, but also to other things of establishing and evaluating a practice of having of knowing what your daily mindset is asking yourself at the beginning of the day. How do I want to feel? And how will I show up in the world today? What is my attitude going to be today, not just it's going to be good, like very specific, get detailed, play with your words, use words to flower it up, but, but writing affirmations that proclaim and and declare how you will show up in the day and how your mind is going to guide you. And then to do an evaluation of that the end of the day and say, Hey, did I like how I showed up today? What was my mindset today? If I could describe it, what is it? Was it open? Was it limiting? Was it optimistic? Was it cynical? Was it believing was it fearful? And then I also think that one of the things that we can do when we take massive responsibility for our thoughts, is start to establish standards of excellence, mental standards of excellence. How do you want to think how do you want to feel? What does that look like?
And I'm really, really excited for what that can be for you. So here's what I want you to know, when you chip away at this, your life starts to massively change, massively, massively, massively change. And I want to be there cheering you along along the way, the best way to do that is in the COC. So go get started at college confidence.com. I do want to let you know I do have one special offer, I've opening up one spot for a one on one coach, a coaching opportunity specifically for a high achiever who's ready to break their own glass ceiling, who's ready to think bigger, believe Bigger, stop limiting themselves from real success, and the potential that's actually available to available to them your next level your life. Next level, your income and next level, your adventures and next level, your possibilities. This is a 12 month commitment. Unlike some of my other one on ones I start my one on one at six months. But I'm only entertaining this for someone who has a big goal and who's ready to go all in on themselves. So send me an email Trish at Trish blackwell.com and say I'm ready to create one year of absolute epic results. And my friends I want to invite you come try the college competence out it's a 14 day money back guarantee you have nothing to lose, you can come and join see if you like it and ask for your money back. I am so committed to getting everyone the opportunity to get affordable coaching to experience the shifts that changes when someone else helps you look at your brain when you can talk to your someone else about your thoughts and how to neutralize them and how to step in and what to say over yourself and how to use your words to give you power in your life. We are the most affordable coaching on the internet. And I also believe the most effective go to college incompetence.com To get started Hey, before we get to listener of the week, I listen to the episode next week. I'm very excited we have an entire episode that we are dedicating to work confidence having competence in your work in the workplace in everything associated with your professional life. This is a requested episode, and I'm excited to be bringing it to you after that we're talking about compare and despair so if you are not yet subscribed, hit subscribe. Hit follow make sure you get notifications from this show so you don't miss an episode. Our listener for the episode is Tanya on IG she just said this super simple and simple. and sweet. Thank you for your amazing podcast. It's really been helping my inner outlook on myself and life. Amen sister you're doing the work you're doing the listening, you're doing the application and you're doing the management of your brain. And I love that you can see how your inner look and your inner insight on yourself and on how you see life is already shifting you guys that's that's the work. That's the power of the mind and it's such a beautiful gift from God. It's such a beautiful thing. Now go out there today go be more of who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of the competence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do hear on the podcast to the next level, and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet, and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee. Hey, joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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