THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD – HOW TO MAKE IT POWERFUL AND POSITIVE
The voice in your head can be incredibly powerful and informative – it creates the results in your life. It’s your internal compass that guides you based on what you know, believe and feel. How we talk to ourselves matters because it affects how we show up in our lives. With a little work, we can learn to leverage the power of our inner voice for positive effect. Recognize when negative self-talk creeps in and replace it with more productive and supportive thinking. You’ll learn this all in this episode, and it will change everything about how you experience life.
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re coaching on:
- Translating and becoming fluent in your internal language
- Understanding the voice in your head and reclaiming dominion over it
- Making your voice powerful and positive, no matter how many years you have spent feeling helpless to the internal voice inside.
CHANGING THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD WEEK!
March 6th-10th, 2023
Interactive, 5-days challenge
IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO JOIN
By the end of the week you will:
-Reset the atmosphere of your brain
-Detox perfectionistic thinking
-Detox overwhelmed thinking
-Detox self-critical thinking
-Have a plan to manage your mindset masterfully
You will feel and think differently on Friday than you did when you started the challenge on Monday, guaranteed.
You will feel empowered and like you finally can take control of your thoughts.
You will feel unstoppable about what this means for your future.
You can and should think even bigger.
Sign up now at www.trishblackwell.com/
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
MY OLD THOUGHTS VERSUS MY NEW THOUGHTS
Success is hard to come by, so is money.
The future could be bad.
God is disappointed in me.
I am loved for what I do.
It’s not safe for me to be too successful.
No one gets me, I feel alone and misunderstood.
I have joy and endless possibilities.
Money is easy to make.
My future is bigger than my past.
God delights in me.
I am loved for who I am.
It’s safe for me to shine – it’s unsafe / unwise for me to play small.
There are so many people wired like me – I am surrounded by community.
UNDERSTANDING THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
Your thoughts matter – and there’s a constant stream of them – but the secret to breakthrough is that you have power to master the language of your mind.
Just like starting any foreign language, learning a new tongue and new way to talk and think can feel daunting.
But learning and mastering new vocabulary, new grammar rules and new standards takes time, and repetition, repetition, repetition, just like any other foreign language.
At first it feels awkward and clunky, but with time, it gets easier.
- Listen to What You’re Thinking
- Write Down Recurring Thoughts
- Identify Fact from Fiction (What stories are you telling yourself?)
- Choose What Language You Want
What Languages We Choose:
Language of Possibility
Language of Faith
Language of Victim
Language of Underdog
Language of Martyr
Language of Negativity
Language of Criticism
MAKING THE VOICE POWERFUL
Practice deep listening
Learn how to talk back to yourself
Cultivate your parenting voice
Bookend your day with journaling
Identify and name the voice that is disempowering
-Such as “Trashy Trish”
Notice and understand the impact of your voice
-Creates results in your life
-Might be negative and self-sabotaging right now, but powerful nonetheless
MAKING THE VOICE POSITIVE
Praise and worship.
Thought leadership where you are planted.
Light in the darkness.
Be an encourager.
Reframe negative thoughts.
Persist until you like your perspective.
Tell multiple stories.
Decide to be the most positive person you know (this is bold BTW)
Pay attention to what is contributing to a negative voice in your life
-Social media over-consumption
-Pressure you put on yourself
-Poor habit hygiene or sleep deprivation
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE
Dear Trish, I hope you are well. I have been meaning to get in touch for a long time to say thank you for your podcast and for all the work that you do.
I have recently returned to work full time after having a family in a really exciting but challenging job. I have also taken over the role of looking after my children’s school’s parents committee. There is no way I could have managed to take on these things without following the advice and techniques you teach on your podcast. I really wish I had known about much of what you advise 20 years ago! But better late than never.
I would love to hear a podcast on some of the following themes: confidence for people returning to the workplace after a break – this is especially important for working mums – I can only see from my own experience that my profession changed hugely in the years that I was away and re-engaging with it was very daunting. This one might sound ridiculous, but having been ill this week and having to take a couple of days off work, how to rely on yourself time off when you really need it. Another one I was wondering about is how to prepare for difficult conversations: I have been involved in some really difficult conversations recently, one around reporting that something precious had been broken in someone else’s home. Thankfully, I was able to draw on your techniques for these, but I think it would be useful to examine a specific situation we might all face.
I hope you are having a good day. If there comes a moment in the next days or weeks, when you feel, perhaps, as though your effort is not paying off, please know that there is a girl on the other side of the world from where you live, who is managing to look after her children, her husband, to work full time and to have an important impact in the community thanks to the work that you are doing with your podcast.
Many, many thanks. Sarah
Episode #195: Changing Your Set Points
Episode #505: The One Habit that Changes Everything
Trish’s Journals: www.trishblackwell.
You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, there, it's Trish Blackwell, and you're listening to the confidence podcast. Oh, my goodness word episode 537. We're talking about the voice in your head, how to make it powerful and positive. Because the voice in your head can be incredibly powerful and informative. Or it can be massively destructive, it creates the results in your life, your thoughts create your life, I want you to also think about it as your internal compass. It's something that guides you based on what you know, believe and feel and how we talk to ourselves matters because it affects how we show up in our lives. And here's the great news with a little work you can learn to leverage the power of your inner voice for a positive change for positive impact. And for just positive change in your life. It is the start of absolutely everything. And here's what I think is so cool guys, pause for a moment. Isn't it awesome? That we have the ability to change our inner voice? Isn't it awesome that we no matter where you're starting or where you've been that you can change the compass, that you're guiding your life with this compass that guides our self esteem and determines how we show up. It's not well shoot, this is what I was given, you have been given the power to change it. And even if you've had a negative compass for years or even decades, it's not too late to change it. You're not too far gone and you are also not too young. To work at this either. This week's podcast is going to help you get started. And we're going to go more in depth. But I just want you to know that as you learn to be more introspective and do this work of mindfulness. It's another way to say is to take your thoughts captive, you start replacing negative self talk with more productive and supportive thinking. You'll start seeing things change in your life, people will start noticing a difference. You'll start finding doors open to you that weren't open before. It is magical and amazing. If you're new to the show, I want to welcome you I'm Trish I help women who put too much pressure on themselves. Learn how to stop self sabotaging, stop overthinking, stop comparing and start thriving. My clients and our listeners learn how to lose confidence and create unwavering belief in their wildest dreams all while having more fun, living with more joy, and creating the impact that they were created by God to make. I am just so happy you're here. Whether this is your first time or 500th time listening to an episode, I love you, I want you to know, I probably get you. I remember feeling like no one was like me. And it was lonely and isolating and overwhelming. And the number one thing I hear from listeners is that I'm one of the first people when you hear my the way I talk about my thoughts and you feel understood. And I My prayer is that you feel understood. And inspired to take action today that you know that the you're not the only one struggling with thoughts. You're not the only one who overthinks you're not the only one who's who cares about these things. In fact, we have 1000s and 1000s and 1000s and 10s of 1000s of listeners worldwide, just like you just like me. So I hope that encourages you today. In this episode of The confidence podcast, we're talking about how to translate and become fluent in your internal language. I am a linguist, I love languages, and I want to talk to you about the voice in your head in a way you probably haven't heard before. Then we're going to talk about understanding the voice in your head and reclaiming dominion over it. You have authority over the thoughts you have on See, I didn't know that for years, I felt like my my brain was a wild mess and that there was it's just how I thought it is what it is. And I felt so powerless. You're not powerless, we have so much power. And I hope that you just even have the hope of that to move forward. And we're going to close out talking about making your voice powerful and positive. No matter how many years you have spent feeling helpless to the internal voice inside. Maybe you have an internal voice that was passed down to you by a critical parent or a mean teacher, or you just always felt different so you put more pressure on yourself and you've created your own negative internal voice whatever it's coming from. That voice does not have to continue to dominate and have dominion over you. You get permission, you have authority to talk back to speak up to advocate for yourself to yourself. And there's amazing things that happen when you do before we dive into the coaching. I want you to know it's not too late to join us right now. Right now if you're listening live, we have a massive challenge going on in the culture competence, but you can come in just for five days for one small registration fee, which it's so small that you're gonna get what I'm getting five hours plus of coaching for that. And it's a money back guarantee if you don't feel different by Friday. And if you don't feel like the coaching you receive in this challenge week is more in depth and intense and effective than what you're getting here on the podcast. Just let my team and I know by Friday the 10th We'll happily refund your registration fee. This is a no brainer. It's an interactive five day challenge. We did start yesterday but we are live today. The recording is up from yesterday, on how to take what we're talking about to in today's today's podcast episode. And apply it change the voice in your head changed the language in your head. So we are resetting together in this challenge resetting the atmosphere of our brains. We're detoxing that perfectionistic voice we're detoxing the critical voice. We're detoxing the overwhelm worse and we're putting together on Friday, an intricate plan personalized plan for each one of each attendee, to manage your mindset masterfully, moving forward in a way that's reasonable in a way that's doable for your busy life. You will feel and think differently on Friday than when you started the challenge on Monday. Guaran tee so it's not too late to sign up. Do it now. Pause this episode. Go do that now go at Trish blackwell.com. Forward slash voice week to hop in our review of the week is from chill with Jill 25. She says this is so such a great message. Thank you. Jill says life changing all time favorite episode, Episode 195. Changing your set points. I've probably listened to it more than five times this podcast has changed my life. Every episode is packed full of encouragement it feels so relevant to my life. Trisha is vulnerability and Christian perspective makes this the best show past podcasts on competence ever listened to Jill, I would love to chill with you. I'm so grateful for your kindness. And for your reference back to a really great episode. You were right. So hey, even if you guys are just curious if Listen, Jill's listened to it five times, you might want to give episode a throwback or 195. I mean, that was probably four years ago, we recorded that. But it's good enough to check it out here. Now. So go to Trish blackwell.com For slash 195. To check out that episode and why it's so popular guys. I love your reviews, it means so much to me. It gives me so much courage to continue moving forward and continue showing up. And I just thank you. Thank you. Let's dive into the coaching, shall we? Okay, let's talk about the internal language in your head. I you might not know this about my background. But I've always been fascinated with languages as a little girl, I would read the dictionary for fun at breakfast, it was my favorite thing as well. Let's be honest, I liked reading cereal boxes right when I was eating my cereal. But I also enjoyed opening up the dictionary and finding new words and the origins and understanding that and then I took five years of Latin and whoo, eight years of eight years of French. And I think four or five years of Spanish and have since continued I still take I still have a Spanish tutor every week I hop on Zoom and have a conversation in Spanish once a week, same thing in French to maintain and I read in both languages. I like to read my Bible in both languages. And compared to English, I have a fascinating fascination with language. In fact, I was a French major and a Spanish minor. And I thought my career was going to be I was going to be a translator I was actually kind of in on path to be a spy. That's right clandestine services. Because I thought I'd be this great, very non suspecting spy and use my languages and I was in in the process of going that route professionally. Fell in love with personal training, fell in love with coaching and realized that my passion for languages that God has used it to pivot into what I do now. Because what I really do if you break down the type of coaching I do, I empower people to understand the language that they're they've been living by. And to translate it into a way that's more effective. I teach my clients, my students how to have a better language. I teach them how to use words powerfully. I teach them to decide the language they want to live by. And so I want to start with there.
What language do you want to choose for your brain? Because your thoughts matter first we need to understand The voice in our heads, because they're your thoughts, there's a constant stream of them up to 80,000 thoughts per day depending on who you are. But the secret to breakthrough is that you have the power to master the language of your mind. And just like starting any foreign language, learning a new tongue, and a new way to talk and feel daunting and intimidating, and it is hard, it's humbling. I was practicing some Italian my family and I took a trip to Italy last year. And you know, when I had actually a good basis in Italian, and let's be honest, it's a pretty, pretty good combo between French and Spanish. And I can get along I can read. But it's it's very humbling to learn to speak and practice just, you know, small conversation in a new language. And that's where breakthrough comes, in order to master language, you have to be willing to be vulnerable, to be clunky to feel awkward, to not know what you want to say, to not understand why something doesn't get conjugated a certain way to struggle. And when you struggle, and you still show up, then you become master. Just like I used to use the example of ice skating when I was learning a new ice skating skill. I picked up ice skating figure skating as an adult and was taking private lessons for a few years. And I what I love about it is that I would learn a new skill, a new turn, and it was clunky. And I would follow or it would be I mean, it was not pretty and smooth and what you imagined figure skating but with 1000 repetitions, it became smooth. With 1000 repetitions, it became second nature, my body knew exactly what to do, and no longer is it clunky. And I mean, clunky you think about an ice skates stomping on the ice, like, like, or dragging across the ice to go into something absolutely smooth and beautiful. And the same thing goes with the language in our heads. So one of the things that's really important to me that my students know, my clients know, and that you know, is that as you hear what I coach on here on the podcast, a lot of it probably sounds pretty obvious like okay, yeah, yeah, I know that the application of it feels clunky. The application is where your brain is gonna go with this should be easier. I want you to know, it's not good. It's not it's supposed to be clunky. It's supposed to feel like wait, why can't my brain just lock in on this, okay, that's okay. You just need more repetition. So we have to stay repetition creates mastery. And there's a couple of ways to start understanding your voice in your head. Number one, you've
got to listen to what you're thinking. And that's where a lot of people miss the mark.
They just go through life. But if you will listen to what you're thinking. You can be aware, we cannot heal, what we don't have awareness of, we cannot talk back, talk back to what we don't identify. And we also can't listen to ourselves if we're constantly distracting ourselves. If you aren't allowing space for quiet, if you're always on your phone, always have music on always doing always, there's no space to even think about what you think about. So I fell into that category a lot. And I remember in my paths athletically, I wanted to improve my thoughts. But I was so busy, I didn't have time to think about what I thought about. And in fact, I felt I was believing the lie, that I couldn't help it anyways. And so I was actually afraid of finding out what I was really thinking because I didn't think I would have power to change what I was thinking. And the good news, you have power to change how you think. Because if I can do it, you can do it, y'all. I was hotness, my brain was messy, like Grade A Massey. And I can have a mastery of my mindset. Now. That doesn't mean there are days that aren't hard, doesn't mean there aren't times where I mean I do the daily work, it's a daily thing in the same way someone doesn't get a six pack and get into the best shape of their life. And then stop working out and stop eating healthy and expect the body to stay the same. Your brain is the same we have in these daily maintenance. But first, we got to start by listening to what we're thinking make time to think number two, write down recurring thoughts. This is where journaling comes any human. I don't even know what is the narrative. You're saying over yourself and speaking of yourself, because you don't know what your internal thoughts your consistent and recurring thoughts are. But that's where we start to learn about our patterns like a recurring thought is going to show you well what's the nature of which I'm thinking, wow, I didn't realize my language. My internal language was dripping in so much cynicism, or so much doubt or so much comparison. You might just think these are thoughts. We haven't even you haven't even paid attention to your thoughts to categorize them. And this is where you might go How do I do that Trish watt power of journaling? I have so many resources on my website about journaling, go to Trish blackwell.com and just type in journaling, or journal or even if our podcast podcast. We have a couple on journaling. I'll make sure I include them in the show notes. We We'd like to recommend some episodes at the end. So I'll put those in the show notes. And you can find those on my website at Trish blackwell.com Ford slash 537. Number three, identify fact from fiction. And here's where we gotta go, we got to ask ourselves, what are the stories I'm telling myself? And you might be like, No, the story is that like, I am so stressed like, this is a stressful week. That's not fact. That's fiction, because anytime there's adjectives added, it makes it fiction. Now, it might be true. But what, what is fact is that every single person would agree that these are the facts. And off often in our head, we start to, we start fictionalizing, all kinds of things. We make up stories about what our neighbors are thinking about us. We make up stories about whether or not somebody likes us, we make up stories about how hard something's going to be or not. We make up stories about whether or not we could think we can stay consistent on our goals. And I need you, I need you. Sometimes I just call my I call myself, I talk to myself. And I say, factor fiction. Trish, what is true. When I'm irritated with my husband, I can come up with all kinds of stories. Like I'm like, Is that Is that true? Or is the fact that you know he loves you, and that we've been busy? Right? Well, you whatever it might be, really, really one of the most powerful skills you can learn is to separate fact, from fiction. In the College of Confidence, we talked about this as neutralizing or de dramatizing. And the fourth thing to understand your voice. And so once you've listened to what you're thinking, you start paying attention and starting to hear your thoughts, and ask yourself and that can be as simple as what am I thinking about? Our writing that down, writing down recurring thoughts, and we get to that by being a person who journals, you want to know the one thing I believe will change your life. Journaling five minutes a day, shoot journal, three minutes a day, it will set you apart, it will set you apart as somebody who manages their mind, it will set you apart as somebody who says I have enough time to take care of my brain. Each one is going to create more abundance, more time abundance in your life, it's a crazy thing with just a three minute investment can do. And it will change the state remember your thoughts create your life. It gives you the power and the space and the time to question your thoughts, to train your thoughts to talk back to your thoughts and to decide ahead of time with intention what you want to think on purpose, and it changes the course of your life. Or uses. I use this method with my high level athletes. I use it with my my clients who are physicians who are who are attorneys. I mean, you and I use it with a stay at home moms, it's the same thing. But that will change your life. Simply becoming somebody who journals, then we got to separate fact from fiction. And then number four, choose what language you want. Now, what language you might not realize that your internal language are currently talking might be someone else's, it might be your parents. It might be cultures language. But we'll let's go ahead and take back what we what is ours, shall we? Which is our own language. What language do you want to choose? Do you want to language of criticism? Do you want a language of martyrdom? Do you want a language of victimhood? A language of being behind being the underdog and language of negativity? Now I say all those things like of course, I don't want those. I mean, I get it. I wrote those down because those used to be mine. A language of pressure, language of fear. Or do you want a language of faith? A language of freedom, a language of possibility. I love that for me, I want a language of possibility. I want to be the language the words I say to myself, Oh, that birth possibility that birth belief, not only just in myself, but in those around me. And so it's really interesting to ask yourself, What if I were to just describe and summarize the language because if you said me, you said hey, Trish, What languages do you speak? I would tell you I'm fluent in French. I'm mostly fluent in Spanish. I'm fluent in English. I dabble in Italian and I've dabbled in Mandarin and would love to do more. Oh, and I'm clunky. But But community but but not fluent, clunky but communicating level. communicable maybe that's the word. I don't think that's the word in American Sign Language. So we can do that with languages. Think about it for the language of your head. What have you what is the language you've been talking to yourself, Ben. And what is it that you want it to be? It's time to learn a new language? I gotta let me I even just divided my old thoughts versus my new thoughts. We in the college competence. I In my one on one coaching practice, we talked about this as a 1.0 and 2.0. You the 1.0, you is your old you I call her trashy Trish, right? The 2.0 You is the new you the future you your present that is going into your future self. Remember, we get to decide when the greatest gifts of life that we have is we get to decide who we want to be. I am constantly seeking in my time with God in my time in prayer in my journaling, that I can have wisdom to know who it is that God wants me to be that I can step up into the fullest potential that I can steward well what he has planted within me that i My heart is leaning towards the way that I will make the most impact that I will be a light and have a beacon of hope in this world that will have will be true love like not judging not I don't want right there's so much religion comes with so much so many so many hurts so much hurt so much pain, and I just write I want to be an example of Jesus's way of just love, of truth and love. And so how do I be that person that that is a it's an Oh, you're not always gonna have a set answer. But it's the pursuit of that. That is a massively fulfilling, and I love this too. I heard recently for those of you who share my faith, that it sometimes we can overthink, and we put pressure on ourselves of, oh gosh, I hope I really like I hope I can do all this and I hope that I don't disappoint god, my friends, we cannot disappoint God. He loves us so massively. So much. And our faithfulness is our responsibility. God will take care of the fruitfulness. I've loved that concept. I am responsible for my faithfulness. God is responsible for the fruitfulness of my faithfulness. So my old thoughts let's go back to Mike we're not off on a tangent my old thoughts. Success is hard to come by so as money if other people are good, I'm not going to be that good. The future could be bad. God is disappointed in me. I'm loved for what I do. I need to keep achieving. It's not safe for me to be too successful. No one gets me I feel alone and misunderstood. Also used to think I'm not sure if anyone will ever love me or I don't know if I'm ever if I'm ever be pretty enough new thoughts.
I have joy at endless possibilities. Money is easy to make my future is bigger than my past. God delights in me I am loved for who I am not what I do. It's safe for me to shine it's actually unsafe unwise for me to play small there are so many people wired like me I am surrounded by community I can't wait for what is ahead it's amazing I read this new book that candidates those that was my the old thoughts are really my thoughts my narrative for like a 10 years my new thoughts really are how I think and feel now the joy the peace the confidence I It's is a healing of the mind it is a complete transformation is a new language I think in a new language and if I can do it, you can do it too. And we start by making the work when we start by knowing that it's possible we believe in the healing of our brains we believe in the power that you are given to start taking your thoughts captive, start taking ownership of your thoughts, start learning how to talk back to thoughts and in the College of confidence I coach and teach on some cement of all the core methods of this some of which are reframing some or boundary framing we have a whole concept of that and some are intentional thought creation to create a belief ladder. But in general I first just want you to know that it's possible to be a person who thinks differently even when you think differently you create a life that's different. So how do we make that once we once we know we believe Okay, change is possible I can I mean I can remember thinking when I started learning about coaching and and about the power of the mind and brain science I remember thinking gosh would be amazing to not beat myself up all the time I don't I just did not even conceptualize it be possible. I had so much brain power so much brain space spent daily worrying about my caloric intake, my my caloric out burn my muy muy comparing myself to other people and pressure to do more and feel I kept going like I'll finally be able to breathe when I accomplish blink. I'll get to be really happy when I arrived here. I can remember thinking I just don't even know if I like what life would be with just peace, joy, like that's not that I don't have problems or anxiety or frustration of all those things still there. They just don't take ownership over me anymore. They don't steal from me anymore. They don't dominate me anymore. The night and day difference is indescribable. I just want you to know that because I want it for you. My clients have been telling me this recently I have a client who said that recently and shout out girl I know you're listening. I was this is to me, it's the mark of absolute success. And she said, Trish, I feel more joy and peace and lightheartedness than I ever have. She goes, since I can remember. And I said, Okay, well, and she's in her. She's in her 50s. I said, So when is the last time you felt this free, this happy? And she said, I think I was six. She reclaimed the joy of her leaves, she reclaimed as in her 50s At the height of her career with tons of pressure and results, the joy and freedom of true true deep happiness because she's learned to talk back to her her thoughts. I'm just so so delighted that is that is what the potential of this work is. And she's only been working with me for nine months, private. And by the way, I do have one spot. For one one on one client left, it's so if you are interested fill out application at Trish blackwell.com forward slash coaching. So how do we make How do you start the process one, you're doing it right now or listening to this podcast too. If you haven't yet gotten yourself into coach week into our voice, we have this happening now go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash voice week three. Start making your voice powerful, how I want you to practice deep listening. You do that by having more quiet time taking your dog for a walk without your phone, driving with a radio off sitting for five minutes in silence. Talking to God and just waiting for an answer. Get curious. Get curious about your thoughts. Get curious about your feelings. Develop boundaries, which really means know what kind of people you want to be around. Know what kind of shows you want to watch know what kind of things are good for you or not my husband, I were watching a show oh gosh, it was a year ago. We loved it. I don't even remember what it was called. Me. It was Kingdom it was about it was boxing and lots of drama. And we really enjoyed it. It was like, we watched it a couple nights a week. At the end of it, we always started picking fights with each other it was. So we stopped we realized there was so much negativity in the show that we would then be like, Oh, hey, by the way, I forgot to tell you that last week, blah, blah, blah. And like we would start picking at each other. To the point it happened three or four times we said okay, that's a bummer. Because we really like the show. The show is not good for us. That's a boundary, you got to develop boundaries because it changed the voice. By the way, a relationship has a voice, it changed the voice and the language in our marriage. From powerful to critical. Gotta also learn how to talk back to yourself. Learning how to talk back to yourself is a simple act of knowing that you get to have a conversation with with yourself. I think I was resistant to this for so long as I didn't want to be somebody to talk to themselves. Guys. The most successful people in the world are the ones who talk to themselves. I want you to be somebody who talks to yourself. It will change your life. It will change your power it will remind you oh wait a second. I get to talk back I don't this just because I think a thought doesn't mean it's true doesn't mean has to stay and doesn't mean I can't I can't question it. And this is also the practice I teach in the college competence of how to reframe a thought how to identify Hey, what is bothering me what's keeping my voice my internal voice What's keeping it from being powerful today or positive? Identifying that exact thought and then talking back to it reframing it in a written format changes everything cultivating your parenting voice which means parenting yourself there has been times when I've been thinking something and then I my parenting voice comes in and I parent myself on my thoughts I go Trish we don't think that way anymore. Like I'll have old thoughts Trish 1.0 thoughts which we like to call trashy Trish thoughts, right? They come in and I just to Trish 2.0 shows up. And I'm like Hey girl, we've outgrown that. In the same way when my five year old is whining I'm like baby, thank you bake we don't whine anymore. You are five it's just parenting a parent with love not this like authoritarian discipline. I'm just say hey, we've outgrown this remember you don't think like that anymore. You don't beat yourself up anymore. You don't pick yourself apart in the mirror anymore. Remember you've said was old Trish. It's amazing what happens when you just offering that loving parent thought. And then book end your day with journaling. I do teach the principles of morning journaling and nighttime journaling. We go into that all in the COC but that's a great place to start as well. You mentioned you heard me mentioned trashy trash. Another one. I want to encourage you if you want to become more more powerful and learn how to talk back to yourself, it is really helpful to personify the voice that's negative personify your old voice, your 1.0 voice. I like to call it her trashy Trish, you can have your lane, you can have mean Matt. I had to hit a girl who wants she liked, she really liked the show frozen. So she had
your or Elsa, she's like, I gotta talk back to my er, and I gotta be Elsa, right? Like, there is something really powerful when you separate that. So what it does by naming that person by personifying the boys, it separates it from you, you are no longer that voice, you know, you get to talk to that voice. And when you do that, I want you to just notice and understand the impact of your voice, your voice creates results in your life. And they may be negative and self sabotaging right now. But it's powerful, nonetheless, because you got results. If you think about the thoughts you've been thinking probably have created the outcome. Maybe you don't like the outcome now, but if you identify that the thoughts that you have been beating yourself up, and you have not been believing in yourself, and you have been doubting yourself, and you have been kind of sledging through imposter syndrome, feeling pressured and anxious all the time, well, make sense that the results you're getting reflect that. And I think sometimes it makes us feel powerless, really, I just can't help it. But it's actually empowering to realize no, you are creating results. But we don't want to label them positive or negative. They're just not the results you want. And we can change that. So how did so that's how you make your voice powerful. How do you make your voice positive? I've got a couple quick ways before we close out today's coaching, daily gratitude, and I mean, intentional written gratitude, praise and worship, as I mean, 45 minutes every morning, I love it, it sets the narrative of my heart, my, the state of my heart for the day, I think, thought leadership where you're planted, realize that wherever you are, whether you're working, and your ideal dream job, whether you're not working right now, maybe you're a student, maybe you're on a sports team, somewhere, maybe you're in a in between job, just to make ends meet, where you are is where you are planted, and you're there for a reason. Become a thought leader, what I mean by that become the person who has the best attitude of everyone become a person who you would want to look up to become a leader. And you don't have to have a personality type for that. You don't have to be extroverted, yourself to say, I know that I matter. And I'm going to I'm going to build people up, I know that I'm here for a reason. Even if it's just temporary, I'm going to be grateful for this, I'm gonna find the good, I'm gonna find the growth. Another way is to remind yourself that you get to be light in the darkness. You get to be an encourager, and you have the power to reframe every negative thought that is non toxic positivity. That is not Oh, I didn't think that it is actually saying, hey, hey, brain, I know you think this but we could also think about it this way. It's offering other stories, offering other suggestions. It's also really helpful to help your voice be more positive is to tell multiple stories. Meaning, we always tell ourselves a story about what's happening in our day, or our life or in a situation. And I just want to challenge if you want to become somebody who masters the mind, there might remember, master your mind or your mind will master you. You want to be a master of your mind. Tell yourself lots of different scenarios, even if like let's just say you took massive offence at somebody, they did something you deemed pretty wrong, outrageous, whatever. And your story you might be thinking is I cannot believe that's ridiculous. They were so rude. They're so self focused that this offer another story. Your story might be true, or it might not. And it's not even whether it doesn't even matter whether you're right or not. I'm way more interested in you training your brain to offer more stories. Remember this you could even offer, hey, it's possible that they are maybe they're caring for somebody at home who's dying. And they're really just doing the best they can maybe this is their best today. Or maybe they just had a horrible phone call. They took it out on me. That's another possibility. Tell yourself multiple stories. I love that I like to switch to this. The other final suggestion to make your voice positive. I want you to decide right now decide with me. Let's decide. Globally, you guys we have listeners, I would say the last time I counted. It was 197 Arts either 167 or 197 countries. I am delighted this is a global movement of people who are stepping up into their fullest competence, their fullest courage and their fullest calling. I'm so proud of you all. So let's do this. Let's decide to be the most positive people we know. That means that people filled with faith that people filled with belief that people filled with encouragement that the people filled with possibilities. And that's bold, it is bold, to be positive. It is bold to go against To the flow of cynicism, of negativity of bad news of the world is falling apart, like it's bold, be the person who offers the positive perspective. And in doing that you will train your brain to be more positive. Naturally, you got to pay attention to what's contributing to a negative voice in your life. I shared how Brandon and I noticed, wow, this show the show that we love, when it's not so good for us that was creating negativity in our marriage. But other negativity in your life could be negative people, a news overload, social media overconsumption. And by the way, news, overload doesn't just mean you're, you're reading every clickbait of, I don't know, clickbait of a negative article, I had some news overload just the last week here on the East Coast, the United States, we had a rough winter, like warm, warm winter, it has gone from like 20 degrees one day to Sunday, the next, and then back to 30, and then back to 60. And so these poor ski resorts are struggling, they typically are open, or they opened about two weeks later than normal. And they are, some of them are closing a month ahead of when they knew normally would. And then on top of that, many of them didn't even open fully 100% They couldn't get 100% of their runs open. That might mean nothing to you if you're not into skiing. My My point is that I was so attached to keeping eye on the weather and what was working and what number of lifts were open, and oh no, they're getting, they're getting rain, and oh my gosh, and all the speculation of when they're going to close, I got wrapped into the drama of my local ski resorts. And I started not sleeping well at night. So you got to pay attention to I mean, that's a pretty trivial like seemingly harmless thing. I was just following ski resort news, because I love it so much. But it was letting it affect me and affected my sleep. Social media overconsumption comparison, if you compare, comparison drives us into compare and despair so easily. Also, unrealistic expectations create a negative voice in our life, you might be thinking on a Saturday, you're an accomplished 20 things, cut it down to five, be realistic for yourself. Also, one of those things should be relaxing, like that has as much priority as mopping your floors. There's a time and place for both. putting too much pressure on yourself. And then also negative voice in your life and negativity can be coming from poor habit hygiene or sleep deprivation. Because it's really hard to stay emotionally have emotional fortitude when you're sleep deprived. And even if you're sleep deprived by half hour a night, it adds up an hour at night, it adds up. And more often than not, when you're sleep deprived because we're not going to bed on time, we don't have a solid locked in night routine. It's everything starts with a night routine. We have a whole workshop on how to have a highly effective, easy to implement night routine, we have that in the incident access area of our college competence. So if you know that's an area you need to work, take action now start creating change, it will change it will change how you feel. It changes sleep changes everything sleep is healing sleep is restorative sleep gives us mental clarity. Sleep helps us with our metabolism. I mean, there's literally so much good that happens with sleep. And yet we keep watching the night's next Netflix show, we keep thinking I can I don't need that much sleep. We keep shortchanging ourselves in in really, really silly small ways that make a big difference. So check that out. If you if you aren't yet in the COC that is a great if you are in the COC and you haven't taken that workshop, go check it out. If you're not in the COC, come join us college confidence.com. So I hope that this that today, you're gonna take a moment to check in with yourself, to give yourself permission to think whatever thoughts arrive and then to pay attention. And then put into practice what we discussed here today, talk back to that voice in a more compassionate way, when needed and keep exploring more ways to integrate some of these tools I've given you into your life. And again, I I think one of the best ways would be start and join me this week for Challenge Week. For voice week where we're really going to go an hour every day with my workbook my workbook, I think we ended up being 28 pages, where we are going to implement in a real way you think this is pretty in depth, it takes it and actually applies it to your life. Because knowledge is not knowledge unless it's applied. So again, you can join today go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash voice week our listener the episode is Sarah. She said hey Trish, I hope you're well. And then you need to get in touch for a long time to say thank you for your podcast and all the work you do. I've recently returned to full time work after having a family and a really exciting but challenging job. I've also taken over the role of looking at my children's school parents committee. There's No way I would have managed to take these things on without following the advice and techniques that you teach on your podcast. I really do wish I had known about much of what you advise 20 years ago. Me too girl. Me too, but better late than never. Now she does ash actually request a podcast theme and
Sarah I'm going to implement integrate this into a future episode. She you are asking for a podcast topic on confidence for people returning to the workplace after a break. What a great topic. So yes, we will add that to the docket. And then you close with this, I hope you're having a good day. If there ever comes a moment in the next days or weeks when you feel perhaps that is if your effort is not paying off. Please know there's a girl on the other side of the world from where you live, who's managing to look after her children, her husband to work full time into and to have an important impact in the community. Thanks to the work you were doing with your podcast. Many, many thanks, Sara. Sara, I don't have words. Thank you. I'm so so proud that you take what you learn and you put into practice. So my hat's off to you, my friend. I'm so proud and look for that episode coming up, down. And the next couple of weeks I love it's definitely something we haven't dialed in specifically on and we will definitely cover returning confidence for returning to the workplace after a break or for switching into a new job. I think that's a definitely a needed subject. So Alright guys, have an amazing week, I will see many of you in voice week changing the voice in your head week. So I will see so many of you there. And let's go change the language of our brains. When you do that. Everything changes. I believe in you you've got this because again, if I can do it, you can do it for sure. For sure. Go out there today go be more of who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of The confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet, and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com
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