SELF-TALK & KEEPING YOUR PROMISES TO YOURSELF
Are you feeling stuck, weighed-down by self-doubt, or lack of control in your life? Do recurring negative thoughts seem to have a firm grasp on the way you think and feel about yourself? If this sounds familiar, it’s time to shift these damaging cycles and adopt new habits that lead you towards greater trust in yourself. In our latest podcast episode on Self-Talk and Keeping Your Promises to Yourself, we take an exploration into developing a more positive attitude about ourselves and increasing essential self-trust. When you learn to optimize the mindset dialogue within yourself, you can then create lives filled with fearless forward motion!
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re coaching on…
- Keeping your promises to yourself
- How to build a standard of self-trust
- Using pre-decisions to reduce decision fatigue & inconsistent follow-through
CHANGING THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD WEEK!
March 6th-10th, 2023
Interactive, 5-days challenge
By the end of the week you will:
-Reset the atmosphere of your brain
-Detox perfectionistic thinking
-Detox overwhelmed thinking
-Detox self-critical thinking
-Have a plan to manage your mindset masterfully
You will feel and think differently on Friday than you did when you started the challenge on Monday, guaranteed.
You will feel empowered and like you finally can take control of your thoughts.
You will feel unstoppable about what this means for your future.
You can and should think even bigger.
Sign up now at:
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
SELF-TRUST / KEEPING YOUR PROMISES TO YOURSELF
Success isn’t hard. But you have to decide which negative emotion you will have.
Disappointment or discomfort.
Loneliness or vulnerability.
Resentment or risk.
Boredom or bitterness.
Keep your promises to yourself:
- By writing them down
- By deciding, not trying
- By being obsessed with showing up
- By letting go of it looking perfectly
- By parenting yourself
- By taking ownership of any whiny or wimpy attitude
- By visualizing your end goal daily / having purpose
Stop breaking your promises.
Stop letting things that don’t go right make you give up.
Stop thinking it’s harder than it is.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Stop letting your mind be mismanaged or run wild.
This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/confidencepod a
Sometimes I wish I just had an owner manual for life – and for parenting – but unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a user manual. So when it’s not working for you, it’s normal to feel stuck. Therapy can help you get unstuck. BetterHelp has connected over 3 million people with licensed therapists. It’s convenient, secure, and accessible anywhere — 100% online. The combination of therapy and coaching was life-changing for me, as you probably have read about in my latest book, Straighten Your Crown. Finding the right therapist and getting started can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t need to. With Betterhelp, just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with a therapist. If things aren’t clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist anytime. It couldn’t be simpler. No waiting rooms. No traffic. No endless searching for the right therapist.
Get unstuck, with BetterHelp. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at Better Help dot com slash confidencepod. That’s better HELP—H – E – L – P—dot com slash confidencepod.
HOW TO BUILD A STANDARD OF SELF-TRUST
Start tracking wins – and where you show up for yourself.
Create an inner narrative that is powerful.
I trust myself.
I am good at being consistent.
I do little things well.
I make good decisions.
I have a powerful mind and good instinct.
I will be okay, no matter what I decide.
I can pivot anything and make it good.
I won’t give up until I’m where I want to be.
I have a strong mind.
I value trust in all my relationships.
I am reliable.
Speak to yourself as you would speak to someone you love.
What will you tolerate?
What language will you speak?
What are you saying to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your daughter?
What about your best friend?
What do you say when you feel discouraged – like nothing is working – and what will you say instead, from here on out?
PRE-DECISIONS TO REDUCE DECISION FATIGUE / INCONSISTENT FOLLOW-THROUGH
Decide ahead of time what you will do.
Learn to listen to yourself – your prefrontal cortex is the boss.
This takes the drama out of it – you can’t put off what you are told to do.
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
I have gained so much from you. Your repetition, I have to hear things 31 times before thinking about them. I started listening to the Confidence Podcast last summer and listened almost 8 hours a day while working. Was so sad when I was done even though I will be starting them all over! I became a member of the COC and feel so privileged.
Thank you Trish
OTHER EPISODES YOU WILL ENJOY:
#524: Delayed Gratification – How to Do It
#522: How to Break Negative Thought Patterns
#513: Procrastination and Putting Things Off
How to Write a Book Podcast, with Massiel Valenzuela-Castenada
Blackhearted Studios, www.blackheartedstudios.com
You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, guys, it's Trish Blackwell, your host of the confidence podcast in your confidence coach, and you're listening to Episode 535. Today we're talking about self talk, and keeping your promises to yourself. This is a key component of competence to be someone who trusts their own decisions, who knows that when you say you're gonna do something, you do it, you follow through when you set a goal, you go, Okay, I don't have to worry about the process. I just know I'm gonna keep showing up. Even when I'm discouraged. Even when I'm not seeing the results, I will keep on keeping on we're going to be talking about building confidence within yourself, and cultivating positive change so that your goals don't taper off that you don't lose that momentum and that that that joy that you have. So if you felt stuck or weighed down by self doubt, or lack of control in your life, if you have recurring negative thoughts that seem to get a firm grasp on the way you think and feel about yourself, it's time to shift these damaging cycles, and adopt new habits that lead you towards greater trust in yourself. In this episode, I'm going to be taking an exploration into developing a more positive attitude about yourself in increasing your self talk so that you can trust yourself more when you trust yourself, you know that you can always have your own back when you have your own back, you know that you can pivot, you can keep going, you know that you can make mistakes and get back up. So we're going to deep dive into some strategies on how to optimize your mindset dialogue, so that you can go and start being fearless in your forward momentum and motion. So hey, if you are new to the show, I want to welcome you I am so delighted you decided to say I'm gonna give this show a try. My name is Trish Blackwell, I am passionate about helping people who put too much pressure on themselves. Learn how to stop stop self sabotage, and stop overthinking stop playing small start, stop comparing and start thriving to start tapping into the fullest potential that God has put inside of you, my clients and our listeners and my members in my group coaching the culture confidence, they learn how to lose confidence with unwavering belief in their wildest dreams by using my thought tools, how to how to take control of your thoughts, how to take your thoughts captive, and how to make them powerful. And what ends up happening is you have more fun, you have success with more ease, you live with more joy, you have more peace and you start showing up in the world the way God created you in in that you start creating impact. And showing up for your purpose. That is the work that we do here. So if that if you're down for that you are in the right place. So I in this episode, I'm gonna talk about keeping your promises to yourself, how to build a standard within yourself of self trust. And then using pre decisions to reduce decision fatigue and inconsistent follow through because that's what really ends up happening is we, we start getting tired. And when we get tired, we start giving up. And we start convincing ourselves and believing ourselves. We have two parts of our brain you've got this, this part of your brain that's trying to conserve energy, you've got the part of your brain, the decision part of the brain, the vision part of your brain that knows you're made for more. And but when we're tired, it's easy to believe that salesman part of our brain that says you know you can take the pedal, your your foot off the pedal, we can take our foot off the gas, it's cool, it doesn't really matter. You don't need to stay with this sense of urgency towards what you're working towards. And, and I want you to know that it's time to change the voice in your head. Hey, speaking of changing the voice in your head. This has been one of the main things that people come to me to work with me on is to how do I change the inner narrative of my mind and guess what because of that, we have an entire week. This is a week long challenge. I cannot wait for you to take part of it. It's an interactive five day challenge that we are calling, changing the voice in your head. Changing the voice in your head. Well, we could call it changing the voice in your head week. It is March 6 through March 10 2023 By the end of the week. If you sign up and participate, whether you're participating live, or you're going to send out the replays for each one of these hour long coaching workshops, by the end of the week, you will reset the atmosphere of your brain, you will detox perfectionistic thinking, you will detox overwhelmed thinking you will detox or self critical thinking, you will have a plan to manage your mind masterfully. And you will feel different and think differently on Friday than when you started. The challenge on Monday guaranteed. You will feel empowered like you can finally take care take control of your thoughts, you will feel unstoppable about what this means for your future. And it is 100% free for our cultural competence members. So if you're in the COC, you do not need to sign up. If you're not yet, in the college competence, you can come into this program for the week, at a ridiculously nominal price. I just want you to put a little skin in the game so that you show up so that you commit. It literally is like the cost of lunch. Like you want to say yes to this ad if you are not blown away by how how you feel and think differently on Friday, how you now know how to change the voice in your head, the one that will go from not believing in yourself to believing in shell from not criticizing yourself to being to build yourself up whatever transition you want to make in the way you talk to yourself. If you don't see that beginning change already. By the end of the week. Just let me me and my team know we'll pull give you your money back. I'm that committed to this challenge week. You can sign up now sign up now save your spot now at Trish blackwell.com forward slash voice week. That's Trish blackwell.com forward slash voice week. Guys, before we dive into the full coaching today, I want to read a review of the week. I gosh you guys our reviews. One they encouraged me to they help someone else find the show. They help us in the algorithm they help us let someone know it's look, it's risky, just like trying a new TV show or anything you're like, I don't know, is it any? You heat see enough for us and you go alright, I'll press play. So if you've ever been grateful that you press play, on the first time you listen to today's to this podcast, I'm going to ask that you are to review if you have not yet done so. Hey, our review of the week is from Edie Brooks 93. They said impactful Trish thank you for identifying the needs of so many people and doing something extraordinary about it. I found this podcast because I was specifically looking for something to help me break the cycle of self doubt that I had as a professor and a writer, I am now a full time fiction writer who hasn't yet made a cent. Whenever I have a bad day of discouragement. I know I can turn this to this podcast for a pep talk as well as actionable steps on how to stay motivated and hopeful. This is a valuable podcast for anyone who faces discouragement or wants to pursue their goals with confidence. So literally anyone Thank you Trish for being a voice of encouragement. And Ed Brooks, I want to tell you as a writer myself, the belief in your future is everything. I love that you are a full time fiction writer, and then you are on your way to creating income. I don't want you to focus on what you haven't done yet. I want you to focus on what you are doing. And for my writers out there if you guys don't yet, follow Marcia Valenzuela. She is the best muscle was my right hand girl in my business for years. She is a coach in my community sometimes. And she has an incredible podcast called How to write a book podcast. And her website is also called Black hearted studios. She helps writers get their books up and going and then also to make money from doing it. So I cannot speak more highly of her. She's also probably one of the most encouraging people you will ever meet. So, girl, keep it going. I'm so proud of the work. Thank you for sharing that incredible review. I can't wait for you to take that next step and join us in coaching sometime. But in the meantime, let's dive in to today's coaching, self trust keeping your promises to yourself. So here's what I want to start with. I want to make this a very simple coaching session today. Because I want you to know if you keep your promises to yourself. If you become someone who keeps your promises to yourself, you will be someone who always achieves your goals. You don't have to set goals and hope that you do okay. You can have the courage to believe or to radically believe in something that seems unreasonable, but just decide to believe that it's possible. So I used to have this as a little girl and then I lost it. I got some disillusionment, I grew discouraged. I didn't know that failure was a path to success. I didn't know I needed to collect a lot of failures in order to create the successes to level up in my success.
And once I learned that, and I learned that it is the to the people who do big great things with their lives, who have the audacity to be different, whether that's they travel the world differently. They they They live their lives differently. They they decide to create something in their business or in their their workplace or they're created with their creative outlet, their art different than anything that's ever been done. Those are the those are the brave. But to be brave to be bold with your vision, your dreams, you have to keep reminding yourself that you were made for this, that there's a reason that you heard that storing that passion that I had that idea and that most people that you meet, will not understand you. Why? Because they've given up. They've allowed themselves to flatline in their life because they stopped doing the mental work of confidence and courage on purpose. There takes a proactive element here, I've decided to be confident. I believe we're all born with competence. And then it's a skill that we either lose, or we strengthen or a variety in combination they're in. But success doesn't have to be hard. Whatever that like, go ahead. Tell me your wildest dream. New York Times bestseller, million dollars in your business, a loving family that's faithful. starting a nonprofit that changes the world being somebody that does something with outer space. That's never been done before. I don't know. Where's your passion? Think as big as you can. I want to tell you doing that it's not gonna be as hard as you think the hardest part is in your brain. The hearts part is their daily decision. Keep reminding yourself that you've decided it's possible. It's the it's the reason we think about Roger Bannister with a four minute mile they thought they thought it was humanly impossible. And Roger Bannister finally did it now, hundreds and hundreds of people run as a sub four minute mile. Decide to be the confident person who's willing to believe that something's more possible than other people think. And if you do that success isn't hard. Success isn't hard, because it's simply a decision. It's a decision that you will be successful. You know, we just had this incredible workshop, it's going to take what we're talking about here today to it. Well, if you if you come and join us and you watch it, or if you're already a COC member, you do need to check this out. It's called Easy success workshop how to do crazy heart amazing successful things, but with more ease and flow. And without the overthinking and the drama and the up and down. Its success is more available to you than you think you just have to be willing to keep on keeping on to be unwilling to stop. I really believe I shared this recently on my Instagram, which if you're not connected me on Instagram, come, come follow me Come hang out with me. I'm trish_blackwell. And hey, if you're still a Facebook fan, I like Facebook, too. I'm Trish Blackwell Coaching over there. But success, my definition of success is the unwillingness to give up on what matters to me. For me, it's the unwillingness to give up on the vision that God has given me. And so in that, if my if my definition of being a successful person is to be unwilling to give up, then I just have to decide what kind of a negative emotion I will have. Because keeping your promises to yourself, and reminding yourself to keep on keeping on, there's always going to be a negative emotion. You can you can choose the disappointment or discomfort. You can say I want to go and I want you know I want to I'm going to go and find this amazing relationship but you're dating is exhausting. So are you going to choose loneliness and just go in and tell yourself the story right? If since we're talking about the narrative in your head, and your self talk, are you telling your story yourself a story that's just too hard to date. These apps you just tell they're annoying, it takes a lot of time. Well, if you choose that you're choosing a safer emotional route. But you're also want to point out you're choosing loneliness, or in dating and I coach people on dating, or are you going to choose the emotional risk of love loves always comes with the risk of vulnerability. So loneliness or vulnerable vulnerability, your choice resentment or risk often sometimes people resent those who were successful because they were unwilling to take the risk. But the people who aren't living their lives with resentment are the ones who chose the emotional the negative emotion of risk. boredom or bitterness and not hard now or harder later, you've got to decide you got to decide that it's not a problem that you have some negative emotions along the way that you have some vulnerability that there's some fear that you still move forward. Even though you're dealing with you're a human, you're going to have positive emotions, and negative emotions. And they're all in this big beautiful thing at the same time. So how do you keep your promises to yourself because you will be successful as long as you keep going. But the reality is that most of us give up too early. Most of us give up on ourselves, we give up on our dreams, we give up on, on on on training our thoughts, we give up on our habits, we give up on our consistency, we look around us and go well. No one else is really journaling and they're not getting up early and spending quiet time with God and we start comparing ourselves to people who have settled. Stop doing that. The fact that you listen to this show tells me you know you were made for more you know has given you so much and it's your job just fanned the flame, it's your job to steward that what you were entrusted. So how do we do this? Keep your promises to yourself, I got seven ways for you to keep your promises to yourself. Number one, write them down. What are you problem? What are you committing to them or to decide don't try. I coach my members in the COC often on this they, they say, Well, I'm trying to figure out how to make money in this in this business. I'm trying to be consistent with tracking my food. And like we're not trying to do anything, we just decided, please start using more powerful language with yourself. The self talk that you say the words you choose are everything. And that is why we focus on words and the college confidence I want you to give, I'm going to teach you a new language. When you come to the college of competence, you learn a new language and that when you sign up for voice week, I'm gonna teach you a new way to talk to yourself. Again, that's Trish blackwell.com forward slash voice week. But we see there's a huge difference to access more success by simply saying I've decided to keep my promises to myself. I've decided not I'm trying to follow through I'm trying to be more consistent. I'm trying to hold myself accountable. No, I'm not trying works up trying. I used to try really, really hard. But it wasn't. I worked hard. There's a difference between working hard and trying, versus doing the mental work and believing and deciding. Number three, be obsessed. I want you to be obsessed with showing up. Be obsessed with showing up. What does that mean? Well depends. Are you obsessed with showing up and like you've decided you're going to work out at 5am Every day, just be obsessed about the fact that I care, I could care less about what your workout looked like. And more the fact that you got up and you shut up for yourself. Or maybe you're trying to have better oral hygiene. And every time you pull that floss, I want you to go look at me showing up. Now you gotta be obsessed with showing up. And then you got to give yourself a pat on the back. I am obsessed with showing up for myself to prepare myself. And the next day, my nighttime routine sets me up for the next day of success. Then one of my nighttime routines is taking the extra five minutes once we've put the kids to bed, when I'm exhausted, I'm ready to sit on the couch and chill with my husband. And I go you know what I know I love, I love we're going up to a clean kitchen, wipe down counters. Oh, it's like, it's like I forget that I did it for myself. And the next morning feels I feel on top of the world. And so when I wipe down my counters, I'm like love showing up for myself tomorrow right now. I'm so proud like me go. I say that to myself, guys, I go look at me go. I'm on it. I'm obsessed with the little details. That's what I mean by showing up. Number four, two ways to keep your promise to yourself let go of looking perfect. I've had to do a lot of work on this, we do a lot of work on this in the college competence, let go how it looks, and be more committed to the promise to yourself. And meaning let's go with exercise is a really good example. You might say I'm gonna I'm committed to working on an hour every day. And then let's be honest, you have a sick kid, you've got a works work conflict that was scheduled. You have a parent who needed something, life throws curveballs. And you at the end of the day you find yourself it's it's 1045 and you like everyone took from you that day you did not. And for good reasons you needed to say yes to help other people then go into the gym or going for the walk with your friend. But at 1045 You got to ask yourself, Do I still have time? And my answer is if it's before midnight, you still have time that day. And you go do an hour No, I also prioritize sleep, I would rather you go walk for 15 minutes to 10 minutes of air squats do something where you said I showed up. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't the hour that was supposed to happen at noon. But at 1045 I'm going to do something for 10 minutes that my friend is showing up and letting go of it looking perfectly. Number five, to keep your promises you got to parent yourself. You've got to that is the voice and we'll be working on parenting yourself. And in our voice week is the work of talking to yourself and talking yourself through and reminding yourself of your values. And I do this often with my children if you don't know if you're new to the show, I have a five year old And now an eight year old. Oh wait. Oh, she's about to turn he turns eight like in a couple of I can't remember when this has been really nice. But oh yeah, that's crazy. If a five year old and an eight year old.
And we talk all the time about we do things and we are kind because this is how our family behaves. And and this is what we do. And when they say I don't feel like going to church I'm like well, we we did this is what we do. We honor God on Sundays. So I parent them by teaching them and reminding them of our values and of our core tenants and and then I go It's okay, like you can have a bad analogy, but we're still going to do it. That's what a parent would do. Right? I want you to learn to do that to yourself. When I the reason I keep showing up from a business whether I feel like it or not reason I keep showing up for myself physically whether I feel like it or not. Why show up for my morning routine whether I feel like it or not. It's because I don't give myself an option. I parent myself and say what I mean you could have a good attitude or a bad attitude but you still got to do it. Number six, taking ownership of any whiny speaking of attitude, or wimpy attitude, I think it's really important to somehow say to yourself, like, hey, go out to bad attitude doesn't matter, you still going to do it. But also going, I can't allow myself to indulge in feeling sorry for myself. And I often used to do it without realizing it, because I'm doing so much and I just got, you know, I would dramatize how much I had to do. And it was all very valid. But what I wasn't doing was taking ownership of my disempowered attitude, I call it a wimpy attitude. I was thinking about myself as a victim as a murderer. And interestingly enough, that is also why at the end of the day, I was I would always go I needed I need a treat. I need a glass of wine I need to I should I deserve cookies tonight. I'm like, wait, what, because I've been feeling sorry for myself all day, I need to take ownership and stop feeling sorry for myself, and look at myself as somebody who has high capacity and be proud of how I show up. But also maybe take the sign that I need to take ownership of my attitude, my thoughts and build in some self care in the process, take a five minute break, be kinder to myself, let go of things looking perfectly. And then finally, to keep your promises to yourself. Visualize your end goal daily, have purpose everyday behind why you are going to show up period, period period period. So on remind you stop breaking your promises yourself. Stop letting things that don't go right make you give up, stop micro quitting, stop thinking it's harder than it is we often think it's going to be so much harder than it needs to be more complicated than it needs to be. You've got to start asking yourself, what's the simple solution here? Or what if this was easier? Stop feeling sorry for yourself worse and stop letting your mind be mismanaged. Or for it to run wild. I used to indulge in that I thought I was like, Well, I just can't help it. And if you are anything like me and you've in and you're in that place, please, please, please, please, please come join me. In voice week changing the voice in your head week go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash voice week it will change everything. Because before we go and continue our coaching, I'm going to talk about building a standard of self trust and some powerful ways to self talk, I want to just we gotta pause because this episode is sponsored by and brought to you by BetterHelp. I want to encourage you to give online therapy a email@example.com forward slash confidence pod and get on your way to being your best self. Sometimes I wish I had an owner manual for life and for parenting for how to move forward. But unfortunately, as you know, life doesn't come with a user manual. So when it's not working for you, I just want you to know it's normal to feel stuck. But therapy can help you get unstuck, therapy and coaching the combination of the two has been game changing for my life changed the course of my life. And better health has connected over 3 million people with licensed therapists. It's convenient, secure and accessible anywhere 100% online, the combination of therapy and coaching changed the course of my life and has the possibility to change yours. With better help you just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a therapist. And here's the cool thing. If things aren't clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist anytime it couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapists. So get unstuck. With better help. You can learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/confidence pot that's better help.com/confidence pot. So how do you start building a standard of self trust? If we're going to start talking to yourself and keep your promise to yourself? You've got to decide that you learn that you trust yourself and how do you trust yourself? We do that by creating an inner narrative that is powerful one that sees that you're doing better than you think you are one that that that highlights some of the things that are going well versus the things that aren't when that starts focusing on what is good versus obsessing on where you're failing. And one of the things we do in the college competence is we teach you and we have a way for you to share this to track your wins. We call them champagne moments we we call we call it a review of the day. We have a 333 method where you at the end of the day you take three minutes to answer these three questions and it changes everything. But here are a couple power thoughts that are going to help you and I've got these in the show notes. If you ever want to find the show notes for any of my episodes go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash 535. So these can be listed out right for you copy paste, put them in your notes to yourself, text them to yourself. The more you repeat, the more you will believe
I trust myself. I am good at being consistent. I do little things well. I make good decisions. I have a powerful mind and good instinct. I will be okay, no matter what I decide. I can pivot anything and make it good. I won't give up on until I am where I want to be, I have a strong mind.
I am reliable. And let's talk about your self talk. I want to encourage you, and we'll be going over this in voice week as well. But I want to encourage you to speak to yourself as you would speak to someone you love. What will you tolerate? What language will you speak? Well, you speak a language of love, or you speak a language of critical of criticism. You know, it's interesting when I think about my children, and the way they talk to each other, right, we come in and we parent them, we parent, the way that they say things back to us, will be like, back it up, come back to say it again. But it was not, you don't speak to adults that way. Right? Like we, like we go we we teach them the boundaries of what we will tolerate. We don't tolerate disrespect. We don't tolerate foul language. We're not tolerate anything that doesn't build one another up. But it has to be taught and you can teach yourself that as well. You get to decide what language you speak to yourself. Is it one that brings gives you life, or one that makes you feel discouraged. And we do that we work on our inner language by reframing our thoughts by understanding our thoughts by using the T technique, which is something I teach in the culture confidence and putting boundary frames on what we tolerate what we don't again, I teach all of that inside of the membership. But what I want to start with you with a couple reflection questions when you think about just a current analysis of where your self talk is, what what are you currently saying to yourself that you wouldn't say to your daughter? Or if you don't have a daughter? To a nice to a little girl down the street that you know? What about something you would say to your best friend? What are you tolerating that you're saying to yourself, but not to anyone else? So for years, I let myself do this. I was like, Well, I'm just really tough on myself. Oh, but I'm so nice to everyone. Doesn't work like that, guys. It's just it's how you talk to yourself is how you actually are thinking about other people. So you can say all you want that? No, I only think good things about other people. But if you have a core inner narrative that is negative and critical, that's gonna spill out. So it's really hard. It's tragic. We talk in a way that so much meaner to ourselves than anything we would ever say to to anyone else, but we're tolerating it. It's time to stop tolerating that. What do you say when you feel discouraged? Like nothing is working? And what will you say instead, from here on out? That's a really good trembling question. What do you say right now to yourself, when you're feeling discouraged? Like Like, nothing's working? Do you say what's the point to go? Do you feel sorry? For what is it that you say? What are your your brain typically has a few go twos. And now once you identify your go twos, I want you to just to decide, what will you say instead, from here on out. So one of the things that I want to also make sure I touch on today is decision fatigue, and how to reduce inconsistent follow through. And we already we already mentioned this, at the very beginning, we talked about what is the core, what are the core tenants, to keeping your promises to yourself and that one of those was decide, don't try, right? Just decide make decisions. So I want you to decide ahead of time, what you will do. And then you schedule it. And then you learn to listen to yourself, and remind yourself that your prefrontal cortex is the boss, the person, the part of your brain that says, This is the plan, this is what we're doing. That takes the drama out of it. You can't it's I want you to realize that your higher thinking brain is making decisions. And no and you know that you're going to feel tired when it comes to following through. Let's not make that a problem. Because often I know that I coach a lot of people say Trish, I'm struggling, I don't follow through on stuff for anything for me, but I'll always show up for other people. I'll always follow through at work because I'm told to do it. Do you know you can just flip the narrative a little bit and start teaching yourself to tell yourself what to do. And but you have to treat yourself like you are the boss. And so for me, I'm a morning person after four o'clock poo, my discipline goes down. And that was a struggle for years and I finally decided to put this into practice because the decision fatigue and my inconsistent follow through on some of my habits at the time started really jeopardizing my joy. But what I started doing was deciding ahead of time, what I would do at five o'clock what I was going to do at six o'clock and writing it down so that when it came to that point, I went oh right, I need to send this email and I need to pay this bill and I need to have this snack whatever it might have been. And it just took or I need to fold the laundry. It wasn't a choice to fold the laundry I had assigned to myself to fold the laundry well I felt like it or not. And what it does is took all the mental drama out of it. And here's the thing, when I started doing it in such a micro way, what I felt was a massive shift. So micro commitment to showing up no matter what, because you've already decided ahead of time that you will do it. And you don't care you're a parent yourself through it gives you massive confidence that hold up, I literally do everything I ever say I'm going to do, because I'm willing to do things that aren't convenient. And I also know that once I start usually get it done faster than I thought it would. And all of a sudden, I'm doing more with less time. So as I hope that has served you and encouraged you today, we're going to close out with our listener episode. It is Katherine, she said this, I have gained so much for from you your repetition, I have to hear things 31 times for for thinking about them. Me too girl. I started listening to the competence podcast last summer and listened to almost eight hours a day while working. I was so sad when I was done. Even though I'll be starting them all over again, I am a member of the COC and feel so privileged, Katherine, we're so privileged to have you as part of our community. I'm privileged to read such amazing feedback like that, to know that, hey, you're doing the work. And I look when I hear something, I will go, I will listen to a sermon four times, I will listen to a podcast, same thing. To get it down. I listen once, then I listen again, then I take notes, and then I listen again. And you guys, that's the work that it takes for my brain to change. And so if you are struggling and you're thinking you're hearing these concepts, that you don't know why they're not implementing yet, you might need more repetition. And that is also the beauty of what we do in the COC. We take the content here and take it even deeper, so you can check out what we're talking about with the COC at college confidence.com. Of course, it comes to the 14 day back 14 day money back guarantee, we are so committed to believing that it is the next step for any growth that will blow the socks your socks off, it will change your life that we have a guarantee on it. So check that out. And of course, I want you to just come and join us on changing the voice in your head week that again is March 6 through 10th. You sign up now. Trish blackwell.com forward slash voice week. If this concept, these coaching precepts today, were an area of your life you're working on. I'm keeping your promises to yourself. I'm going to give you three other episodes that you're really going to enjoy. So head there now. The first episode is episode 513. And we know that it's called procrastination and putting things off. And 522 How to Break negative thought patterns and 524 delayed gratification how to do it. Because I'll see you next week. I cannot wait to dive in. We're going to be working on well one of your favorite topics not caring what people think. It's going to be good, isn't it? An expansion on anything we've ever coached before it's going to be good. I look forward to it. So make sure you are subscribed. Go out there today. Go be more who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of the confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com.The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com
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