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You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. On your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles, and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, guys, it's Trish Blackwell. And you're listening to the confidence Podcast, episode 530. And we're talking today about achieving more than you think is possible from a place of total belief. So achieving more than you think is possible from a place of total belief. And we're going to do I know you guys loved the live coaching that we we did a couple episodes ago. Gosh, that was episode 528. How to know what your potential is. And if you enjoyed that, you're going to love this session, I did a live coaching session with another college confidence member who agreed to let this be shared. And we talk about one how to know what you is actually possible for you. Like, it's just the beginning of the year. And there's so much that you have untapped in you. And only thing that is limiting you is your imagination, and your courage and your permission to believe that there's something different I am nerding out on creating a life that you love. i If you've been following me on social media, you have seen me I was just in Montana this past week because visiting one of my absolute best girlfriends, on Hulu even you know, it's just one of those things. But we've been talking about let's get together. Let's get together. Let's do a a mastermind week together and do some Montana adventure. And yeah, Montana is far from from where I live in DC was, you know, yesterday, coming back took me 13 hours because you know, airport stuff. But here's the thing. It's, it's people say that they look at that, and they go, Oh, must be nice. But I want you to know this. Yeah, it must be nice to travel for work and do the travel you do and get to work from anywhere. And it is. But I want to tell you this, it didn't happen by accident. And creating a life that you love that you absolutely love doesn't happen by accident. It happens on purpose. It is created by your choices, and your follow through. But it first starts with your vision that something else is possible that there's more available to you. And then it comes alive with your willingness to be different to dare to believe that you can do life differently than the status quo than most people around you. And that you've do things differently than maybe you've ever done before. It's the result of your courage to dream and think big. It is the decision to not settle for a quote unquote good life. And to decide that you want to create a great life. It is listening to that little voice inside of you that knows you are made for more and then actually believing it. My friends, wherever you are in the world, I want you to hear me make this the year, their year, you really think about what you want to create with your life. I still remember the one. Gosh, I was in my mid 20s and broken and thought my life was just done disabused, just lots of trauma. And I go on into all of that if you want to hear my full story in Episode 444, we talk about overcoming trauma with confidence and healing from trauma, with confidence. But I had some mentors who started speaking about possibility my life and it felt like almost too good to be true to think my future doesn't have to define my past. And no matter what age I am, it's not too late. I want you to sit with that and think about what would be the wildest thing you wish you could still do with your life. And now, I want you to know this, you can do it. It is available to you. People like you are doing things like that you are well able. Now there's a learning curve. And what I love and I coach on in the culture confidence. And here on the on the competence podcast is we can't think about our future that's so big. And think about our current self. It feels intimidating, it feels too much. And that's why so many people don't even believe that it's possible. You've got to start understanding who you want to decide to become on purpose. You're stepping into that future self and that future self version of you. Well, she or he is way more capable, has more experience, has more tools, has more competence has more social networking skills that you then can leverage in a different way. So when you think about these big extraordinary goals and the life of your dreams, and you think I don't know if I can manage it. It's not the current You that's going to be living it. So we got to give yourself permission to think about you You're becoming do the work now in the present to do that work. And you will find yourself pinching yourself. Because when you're willing to set a new path for yourself, you're gonna go make new tracks and see what you can create with a life that you've been giving I in Montana, so I got to learn how to cross country ski, we went to this amazing place called Lolo pass my gosh, it was like a winter wonderland. And, you know, I definitely had once I learned how not to tip over to the side,

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it was epic. It was so,

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so good. And I had another day where, you know, I got to go with my friend's husband and we went out to this amazing locals resort in Montana, that is a called Las trail Powder Mountain. And you know, when it's called Powder Mountain, there's some powder. And for those of you who aren't snow sports enthusiasts the way I am, when you can get good powder, it is heavenly to ski or snowboard on now being on the east coast of the US, we don't get lots of, we don't get lots of powder. So this day with my friend Gavin on Powder Mountain, which also sidenote, what was really cool is it went it was actually half of the mountain. And it was huge. Half of it was in Montana, the other half was in Idaho. So like I got to CES to ride two states in one day. And it was just like breathtaking beauty everywhere. But the point of what might be even sharing this is that when you're when you're riding when I'm when I'm riding on my snowboard, and you hit powder, you hit a track that hasn't yet been forged. Like you can see the tracks ahead of you. And then you ride on the part that's not the snow that's fresh. It's like you levitate it like it. It's like you're floating on the snow. And that's, that's that's what gets people like why we love to do these winter sports when you hit the good powder. It is. I mean, I just I don't even have words for it. And I wanted to relate that because it sounds easy. Go set a new path for yourself create new tracks. And that sounds intimidating. That sounds hard. But what if it was beautiful? What if it was fresh powder? What if it's fun to create your own little path and do something different. And if you're not sure where to where to start, I want you to know one of the things we do in the College of competence is I give you direction, encouragement and the tools to know what you want and what you really want and then how to go and create what you really want. So we do all that work and and the college a conference, you can check it out at college a confidence.com. But me even being able to tell you a story about taking a workweek in Montana, you guys 1010 years ago, that was an unbelievable thing. I didn't have a business yet. I didn't believe that it could travel and work at the same time. And then I saw that some people did and I started believing that I could create something on purpose with my life. I had a vision and a passion to be able to, to make a difference around the world to reach people worldwide change their competence from the inside out, help people become more alive, have a version of themselves because alive people do big things in the world. And that's my I'm so passionate about how helping you become the most alive version of yourself. But it all started for me at the top of the mountain top of Okay. I'm going to I'm gonna have a different life. I'm willing to believe that more is possible. So how do you stay in a place of total belief? Well, I'm going to talk about that and then we'll open up to our coaching call. But before that I want to share our review of the week is from Mary Berry 12 She says thank you for your help and love you Trish. Thanks for your help and love Trish. Everyone says Love yourself but the how isn't that easy? You break it down into manageable steps. As a single mom of four kids twice divorce I struggled with constantly beating myself and negative self talk. My New Year's resolution is to truly love myself and to speak to myself like I speak to others. I will be listening to you weekly and learning from your wisdom thanks Trish, you are doing amazing work Mary. I'm I love this resolution. I love this mental commitment. And I want to encourage you to keep track of some of the powerful statements and the kind words you say to yourself and start creating a listen you if you stay faithful to to to encouraging yourself to self affirming, you will feel and see the difference you will in just a few weeks and six months from now you're gonna wonder why you haven't allowed yourself to beat yourself up in the past? It is. I am so I'm so excited for the freedom that you have ahead of you. And it sounds like you've listened to a lot of the episodes but in case you haven't, there are some really good episodes if you scroll back in some of our archives on how to encourage yourself how to speak kind words to yourself how to stop beating yourself up. So one episode is episode 483. It's from almost a full year ago self validation, which is the art of Self encouragement. So I'd encourage you to check that episode out. And then one other super quick announcement before we go into our coaching. I want to let you know that I'm doing something Special that is absolutely fr EE for re, on Monday night, January 23. That super soon, January 23, at 7pm. Eastern Standard Time, that's New York City time. And we're talking about how to stay motivated and avoid burnout. So it's not the motivation you need, it's your decision to stay focused, it's your decision to have the choice to stay motivated, we often, we often start losing motivation towards the end of January, and February. And those goals that you set to begin year are harder to implement and stay consistent because you don't feel as jazzed up about them. And I want to teach you in this live workshop, again, it's free, you do have to sign up and save your spot. I'm going to teach you some very easy to implement tools in just 20 minutes, so that you don't have to rely on motivation. In order to not burn out in order to not give up I'm going to teach you how to create motivation on purpose, and how to stay motivated, no matter what, how to stay motivated. No matter what life throws at you this year, you will stay faithful to that goal that you set. And I cannot wait to teach. I've never taught this in this simple and succinct of a way before you guys, it's going to be powerful. Grab your spot at Trish blackwell.com forward slash stay motivated. That's It's January 23. Trish blackwell.com forward slash stay motivated, I cannot wait. I cannot wait to teach you this. And again, it's free. So sign up, grab your sweet spot today. Before we go into the live coaching, I want to let you know that the the that one of the core things in order to believe in a future that's bigger than you giving yourself permission to even dream off. It's if you look through the lens of life as an adventure, you can get to a place of belief of hey, I don't have to have it all figured out. I think often we lose belief because we we over attached to our need to know exactly what the steps are going to look like. But if you attach instead to the adventure of the discovery to the adventure, that goddess is taking you on to the venture of growth of transformation, then you will be able to think bigger than you're comfortable thinking. Now there's a couple of things that when when when it comes to thinking bigger than you're comfortable and that is one I think it's just important to know you're going to feel a little uncomfortable it to go live a big life to go live a life and maybe you want to travel the world with your family maybe you want to moonlight a different business and make a difference and in what you're doing that's that's more fulfilling. Maybe you want to become independently wealthy and have massive time freedom. Maybe you want to change something in our culture and you want to you have you have a passion to create a nonprofit, whatever it is that look, please know those big things. Maybe you want to be an Olympic athlete, Olympic gold medalist. You're gonna have a thought and you're gonna go to like, a place to like, yeah, for sure. And then you go, Oh, no,

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that's so big.

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So let's just make that note, that's normal. There's nothing has gone wrong there. It is not a sign that you are not meant for it. Or not capable. It's normal. Because it's just I want you to know it's normal that you're going to feel a little uncomfortable. Number two, your question if it's okay, is it okay for me to be this successful? Is it okay for me to have these big ideas? Or these goals? Or these financial goals or impact goals? Is it okay? And the answer? Remember this if your brain is a question, you need to answer it. And then number three, I want to normalize this, you will hear the voice of self doubt, the 100% very normal to hear. And just self doubt as part of confidence. Just because their self doubt doesn't mean there's not confidence, we just want the confident voice be louder than the self doubting one. The other thing I want to before we go into this live coaching session, this potential audit, right, this is where I went live for 20 minutes with with one of my members. And we had not officially met and just said I want to know your goals. And I want to know what you think is the biggest thing possible for you. And now I'm going to audit that like an auditor. And I'm going to tell you, I think your real potential is and then how you can start taking steps forward for that. So some of the some of the work that we do in the COC, but to work your belief, we want to believe that it's possible then how do you stay in a place of belief? Well, you practice believing new things on purpose. You write out power statements to support your belief. So you speak out loud to yourself, you encourage yourself, you compliment yourself, you tell yourself things that would build yourself up, you start and finish your day in a place of belief and this is why I believe in morning and nighttime journaling, even if it's just for two minutes, or even if it's you know, it's a proper journaling session in the morning and at night. You're just you know on your iPad or your phone and you're texting yourself a couple of notes but how you start the day and how you end the day mentally is so critical. And to start and finish your day in a place of belief is simply going back and rereading your belief statements about what you're creating with your life and about what you think is possible. Repetition a belief is just a thought we've repeated enough that it feels and we can act as if it's true. Another way to work your belief is to write a letter word of advice from your future self. Now what I mean by that is if you have a big goal to be a self made millionaire by the time you're 40, right, and you're maybe you're 20, right now, write yourself your 20 year old self, a letter from your 40 year old self. And just say, I'm so proud of your personal perseverance, your persistence, your creativity, you failed a lot. But while we made it, like, here's what you've learned along the way, here's what's going to challenge you, but know this, you will make it. And then another way to work your belief is to seek out examples of possibility. Now what do I mean by that? I love looking at people who are doing cool things with their life. Now whether or not I want to do those cool things, or not. So I actually being in coming from Missoula to Denver, and then over to the DC to DC I was in Denver airport, you see lots of people doing a lot of cool things, like I saw the backpackers and you know, and they're, and you could tell they're backpackers who are like backpacking and camping versus like, glamping. Now, I'm definitely a glamping girl, I'm a snowboarding, super chill. I like all the outdoor stuff. But I also want some luxury, okay, but I love the people who are gonna go do a five day hike or multi month hike, it is never something I would want to do. But I love the possibility I love seeing them. I love the adventure, I sat next to a couple of them. And I heard them planning their trip and I was so inspired, not inspired to do the same things they're doing, but just inspired by their willingness to be different than their co workers. And then the probably a lot of the people they know at home, or their willingness to say we're going to take a risk, we're gonna miss a week of work, and we're gonna go create an adventure on purpose. So examples of possibility can be as simple as that looking around at people who are doing things differently. It could be looking at someone you admire an author a podcaster. But just giving yourself examples of people who have decided, I'm not going to live a good life, I'm going to live a great life. Okay, without further ado, let's dive into this live coaching. And then we'll close out I'll give you some episodes that if you're jamming out on this subject, your some episodes you should go back into very specific that you'll you can listen to that will also double down on this topic and make you feel absolutely unstoppable. Just real quick, before we dive into the live coaching session, I want to let you know that this episode is sponsored by better help give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/confidence pod and get on your way to being your best self. You guys, you've heard me say that therapy changed my life, it gives me this breakthrough to vulnerability. And I know that you probably thought this before, I just wish there was an owner manual for life. But unfortunately, there's not. And so it's normal to feel stuck. It's normal to not be sure about what how you want to move your life forward. And that is where better help can come in therapy can help you get unstuck. BetterHelp is connected over 3 million people with licensed therapists. And here's what's amazing about it, it's convenient, secure and accessible anywhere 100% online, the combination of therapy and coaching for me was life changing. But here's the thing, it sometimes can be really hard to find the right therapist, you don't have to worry about that. With better help, because with better help, you're going to fill out a brief questionnaire to match with other a therapist. And if things aren't clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist at any time. It really couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. You can get unstuck and get started now with better help learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/confidence pod. That's better H elp.com/confidence. Pod.

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Okay, so we're you're a Shelly, Shelly has been the first fearless and volunteer to do a potential audit, which I love you for. So thank you.

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Thank you.

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So okay, so I what we're doing this potential audit is I want to go through a couple quick things we're going to go through really understanding first and foremost, what you think your potential is, and then what I see as your potential. And then really, I want to finish out with how you what you can do to better access your personal potential starting now. So I mean, this is speed coaching. So we're talking five minutes kind of each category. So you pre submitted some questions for me. So it was helpful for me to get a background on you. I already know you because your COC member but before we dive into some of those when you think about and you answered in a professional sense, so we'll talk very specifically to your career and today's potential capacity. What do you think is possible you want to share what your three year three year goal was?

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Well, my goal was to just work more in a health coaching life coaching profession. So we're going to school finish school now trying to launch and get myself moving into A little bit more of a financially secure position. Okay,

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so let's talk about now let's go with your wildest dream. You're like Trish it all the stars aligned, everything works. Everything goes for me. And I do some bold things like, you know, it takes some boldness to start opening doors. But let's say you do it all. And it all works out. years from now. What are you and I sitting across from each other saying, you're going Trish, I can't believe this is my life. What is that it professionally speaking? What does that look like?

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Well, I want it I want it to be fulfilling for me. But I also want it to be financially. Yeah. Like security is, it's hard because I don't know those two sometimes might not go together. Yeah.

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So that's okay. So this is so good. So where we want to where I see you are blocking your potential right now is assuming this belief that those two things can go together, that why can't have a security and doing what I love, what I and I had asked you, and I'll just read the pre submitted questions so that people know I asked you via email, what do people tell you that your strengths are? What do you think your strengths are? And that just helps me know, what are you currently successful at? What are some goals that are easy to reach within the next 12 months? What is your personal or your professional goal within the next three years? And what do you want people to say about you? But then what doubts or obstacles do you have in your own way? And your doubts and obstacles really go along with what I think our most effective thing to coach on here is, as you said, I don't know how realistic it is to be single and financially secure in Southern California. Boom, that is our USA underneath that limiting belief. Yes. And that's what 100% Because it's the same thing there because you're you're currently a you are a certified health coach and an personal trainer, and also life coach as well or no? Yes. Okay. So your fear is that you can't make that a stable income. Right? Yeah, I'm here to tell you, I think you've picked the best industry in the world to create your own stability. What happens with entrepreneurs, when we think about what's the potential ahead of us is, we believe an old belief, I believe, a false belief that if we have a corporate job, it is secure. Right? If somebody else's sign your paycheck, and is never secure, so I want you to do some thought work in some journaling to flip that belief on its head, that you're actually more secure, and you can create more security for yourself than if you went and got a salaried position somewhere. Hmm. That's the that's the self concept of Shelly I want you to step into, I've see you I love you and I never met in person. But your radiance, your light, your enthusiasm is contagious to the screen every time you pop on a group COC call with 40 people I see you, huh? Well, thank you, which means you stand out. And I would just be saying that to say it right, right. You stand out you are right. I want you to let that soak into your self concept to know okay, it in the life coaching and because your real dream is to take life coaching, is it strictly life coaching? Or do you want to go life coaching and health coaching into your full capacity? Well, health coaching

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was my background. So I kind of use that as kind of my niches that's like what I know that I'm good at know already. But But life coaching is where I really feel like is the underlying desire to Yeah, you know, that's, that's the meat of who I am and what I really want people to know. You get down to the nitty gritty, it's really about life. It's about life, visions, and beliefs.

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Well, and I want to flip a couple things on its head for you here. So one, sometimes when we're in the in our industries, whether we're growing it we're learning about something we feel like we believe a false narrative that the industry is saturated, probably because you're following 100 people in your industry on Instagram, and it's exciting. But then it's also easy to get well, everybody's already out there. One I want you to remember, there are 8 billion people on Earth. And they are not everybody even knows what a life coach is. The other day I told him, I was life coach, and I said What do you mean? No concept. So it's such opportunity. Secondly, because of so your limiting thought is my personal experiences, I lost my home and my savings and my divorce, which is really unsettling, which is why security is so important to you. I love that we honor the value of security. Right but but the I think that the the narrative that this is kind of my handicap, I want you to flip that belief. I believe it's your superpower. Story is what's going to resonate for you as you market yourself and unit yourself as a life coach. You are a life coach who has lived life who has been through it who has had these things where you're like, Yeah, Somebody's pulled the rug underneath me. Yep. And they took my savings up, and it took the house. And there's chaos between the children. I understand that all, which is why I can coach you through it because I've been through it.

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Right? I'm

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sorry, I love my life. And I think I'm an amazing life coach. But if somebody said to me and my family, and they're going through something like you, they'd be like, I don't want Trish, I love you. But I need to work with Shelly. So if you've not been divorced, you haven't understood some of this pain. That's not to say, don't help people through that. But if, if somebody was looking at both of us, like, you're gonna be able to serve people, I can't just because of your story. Hmm. That makes sense. Okay. The second thing I want to look at is, I want to challenge you. And this is some work, we can take this even further in the COC. But one of their limiting things that you're I think, unknowingly putting a cap on your potential here is, you have very vague goals. I know they don't feel vague to you, because you're pretty specific. You've said, I want to decide for sure what's next in my professional, professional life. And I want to create more financial stability that is like, that's like you are in the fitness industry. So I'm gonna throw this back at you. What happens when you sit down with somebody who clearly needs to lose 50 pounds, and they say, I just want to be healthy? About the weight, I just want to be healthy. What would you say? Right? Well, I

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mean, that is super vague. You're right. It's like, you break that down,

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as well. And then what happens? And of course, we can start with big goals, but vague goals. We feel really motivated for about two, three days. And then because we don't know where we're aiming, yeah, then we get a little overwhelmed and distracted, and then we don't make any progress. And then we feel bad about ourselves. And then we feel like we're spinning backwards. And then we go to overthinking. And then we convince ourselves that everybody else has it figured out except for us. True, right. So in in, you know, and I can speak to this because I used to be a personal trainer as well, as you know, so when I have someone say, Trish, I don't have a weight loss goal, I just want to be healthy. I would say well, of course, but like, well, let's set a goal anyways. Like, I know that saying I want to be healthy is a very safe goal, because you don't have to put much on the line for it. Right? Very, very vague, you know, relative, same thing. I want to know, I want to be financially independent. I want to have a successful business, when I meet with entrepreneurs that say they want to have a successful business. And then I'm, I go, what does that mean? Right? If you ask me, I'm like, your goal is nothing, right? Like in a loving way. But what I want you to do is what is financially independent

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mean? Do you have numbers to what that looks like? No, it's crazy, because it brings up a total bit of anxiety for me. It's I think it's because I haven't I haven't been there before. I've never been financially secure on my own. Yeah, so it seems like and we had such financial issues as a married couple that it's frightening. And so I have a hard time actually I think it gets in my way of knowing I don't even know how to make it happen it gets in my way.

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So this is so great for you to be an amazing entrepreneur, you have to be amazing woman with money so let's start first with your first attention on sort of our our first step of uncapping your potential is the final steps are you taking massive action in your business you branding yourself? You I know one of the things you had said is I hope I find a job that falls under the life coach category I want to cross that out and throw something that you through the computer because it was one we don't say I hope we say I will I'm hoping to do I'm we're gonna do work towards you want more declarative things, but I don't think in life coaching you find a job for someone else, you create your own path. Okay, so the bold version of untapping your professional potential is you branding yourself you have a website you going and telling people your life coaching and making offers to them and starting to create business and being scared to death as you do it. And thinking, you know, because the thing is, the only way we get great at coaching is by coaching. Right? And the way we start coaching is by making offers well

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I just have one quick little thing. I took a board certification course and I was the one person not one but I mean out of my class. There was a handful people who didn't pass and I didn't pass my exam. Okay, which created a ton of anxiety for me and embarrassment hmm popped into my identity as successful because I was having so it took me a while kind of licking my wounds a little bit was helping take care of my dad. A lot of things were happening at the same time. But I just revisited this opportunity that was that me kind of in a different earning potential and it's times where it would put me in a oh my gosh, you said it a minute ago, like what a corporate, it would put me in a corporate category. Okay. That's not a chose that is because it felt a little safer.

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I know, that's what you chose to say for those out there who might be interested in like coaching in the life coaching role, there is no regulation at this point. So board certified is only for some specific group who thinks one thing. So please No, I think that board certification has any judgment on your capability as a coach and what your possible. And as you know, what a COC failure is something we embrace maybe, yeah, hopefully that failure stuff helped you go, okay, that's not done. Yeah, I know, that's not to say you don't pass that and go corporate and in this in a structured coaching fashion, and also create your own brand on the outside. Okay, I want to challenge you not to take the safe path. Okay? It doesn't mean secure. You can take the safe path, like you can take a secure path and create I rate you are single and in rebuilding your life financially. I'm not saying be reckless, create some stability, what if you did 15 or 20 hours for something that was stable using these passions and certifications, and you spent the other 30 hours a week building your brand, building your business, because when you work for somebody else, they're always going to tell you your cap of what you can make. When you work for yourself, you make as much as your brain can imagine as possible. And as you're willing to take action to believe. So far, as far as crazy potential, your real potential is in working for yourself and being your own brand. But what's so great, and rather than be intimidated, I want you to be excited about the version of Shelly that you're gonna have to become like UBS. And so but get to that, let me go, let me rewind, we need you to first believe that you are a financially intelligent, capable, just just Rockstar, you will not hide your head in the sand about your finances, you will not make vague, gaping statements about oh, you know, financially secure, I want you to know what numbers that mean? What does that mean? If you have debt, I want you to know exactly how much debt you have and start paying, knowing what the plan is to pay. I want you to put together a plan. Because if we just talk vaguely about money, money will take over us. But we have a healthy relationship with money. And we know our numbers. And we know what what we want, how much we owe what we make, we can start making money work for us, and it becomes really fun. Yeah, and so we want you to leave with this marriage that has been left, you're gonna leave your money drama in the past as well. Okay, sounds like there was a lot of avoidance and conflict over it. And now let's take it ownership. So your first step untapping, your potential is your ownership of what does financially independent actually mean? Okay. So it's interesting, you threw two phrases, what does financially independent mean? And what does financially secure me? Think those different things I think, and that's good, you sort of have your baseline, here's where I feel secure. And then your because then we'll know Alright, now what do we need to create? With your with your business? Like what do we need to pay? And if you're currently let's say you've got 10 hours a week of personal training clients right now, you keep those as long as you start building your your life coaching brand, and you can taper those down and build those up that helps you build in a very secure way. Yeah, secure it. But not safe. Safe just means we wait for somebody to sign the checks. And we think that that safe, but people get fired all the time for no reasons companies fold all the time, at pandemics happen. Like we know this, there is no such thing as a safe job. Right? You get to create your own safety. But in order to create the safety, you've got to know what number feels safe, and I want you to just think, Okay, what would happen if I had, I can tell you how I feel safe. I feel safe by looking at if my husband and I were in hospital beds, when we had no insurance. And for 12 months straight? How much money would I need to pay all my bills? I mean, that's kind of like the Jurassic new but like, okay, let's order let's just say if we that's like the baseline. Or I can also go if I wanted to take six months off, and my husband took six months off, and we took absolutely zero income. But we kept all of our current expenses this many times out to eat this much at the gym. How much do we actually spend? What is my safe number? Can I create that in savings? This is where we started, rather than be overwhelmed by it be like, Ooh, how long would it take me three years to save up for that will take me like because then once you have that much background, then in your own business, you can start taking bigger risks. You can buy something big and if I don't get the income I want this month. It's cool because I got six months of savings. Right? it. But without knowing our numbers, I want you to know, what is your quality of life that you like? What's the and then what once you know those numbers of what is safe, what is financially secure and financially independent sort of means like, I get my nails done, I get my lashes done and do all the things I love about thinking or worrying about the cost probably, yeah. Right. I buy lunch, and I'm not like, oh, I should skip on the drink, and just get water. Okay. I mean, right? Like that's so know what the know what, if you know how much money that you're spending in that, then you'll know what your actual financial goal is? And why did I spend so much money on the financial here? Because I could tell from your answers that you have avoided financials. And your finances are where your power is going to be on top, your financial ownership is the key to you untapping your business potential? Because what happens is it once people start their own businesses or they start their own kind of entrepreneurial journey, if you're afraid of money, you will always stay in the under six to six figures. Because if you're afraid of lots of money or managing money, and you're not sure, then you will always probably under charge. And you're not going to manage the money and the billing and the things well. And then often there's fear of like, well, what if I make too much I don't want to like mess up. I don't want to overpay taxes. So what happens is a lot of entrepreneurs, like small, and it's not because they're not capable or that really great at what they do. It's because they haven't done this work that you and I are talking about. That's the initial key.

36:23

Yeah. Seems like the fundamental like it needs to be the building block of getting to the next step for sure.

36:30

So I want you to go back and we're almost at a time but I want you to go back and I want you to go into the college or competence and take all of our money courses again. Okay, and we have a financial in January coming up. We have a an entire workshop on what did I call it income potential. That's going to be really good as well. But the baseline of it too, is going to be do I manage my money? Do I know where my money is coming in? And do I know what my goal income is? Even if the goal income is like, Trish, I have no idea how ever make that I don't care. We write it down as a possibility. And once you see that enough, Olson, you're like a little bit more reasonable. time you see something a little bit more reasonable. A little bit more reasonable. Right? My daughter just felt like a 4000 piece Lego set. And I was like good Ness. Somebody's gonna give it to us. It's one of those $500 ones. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, we're not doing that. And then I kept seeing it. I kept seeing it. And like 24 hours later, I'm like, custom pieces. Probably do that. Like we just formalized like a big number. And sure enough, she's putting it together right now. I mean, it's good. But that's we're doing the same thing with money and money is just notes.

37:45

Yeah, breaking it down into small pieces. It's wild how I definitely feel the resistance inside of me. I feel nervous. I feel scared.

37:56

And that's so good. That means you're exactly where you need to be. Yeah, I want you to do the work commit to and even if you start with and if you're not plugged into Dave Ramsey's resources this stuff is amazing. But I would say financial Fridays every day you go every Friday I'm committing to a 90 minutes of managing my money I'm going to turn my my financial life upside down and and you put a timer on it and go cool. What do I need to work on this week? And maybe it's just knowing where all your passwords are? And then maybe it's balancing you know, different your your any any debt, and then maybe it's setting goals and financial goals in the next week, right? But just commit to the structure of that. And I think you're gonna you're gonna feel not overwhelmed by this but you feel really inspired.

38:37

Okay, that sounds doable every Friday or do you like that every Friday

38:41

that's it financial Friday is Friday 90 minutes you put it in there and you go the reason why I have now what I love about this, the reason I have competence that I'm gonna be this incredible business person that I know I can be that I can make as much money have as much impact with health and life coaching as I know I want to I feel called to is because I'm already a different Shelly, the Shelly before was not spending 90 minutes on a Friday, right finances. Every time you show up for that, showing yourself you're proving to yourself that your future that we're deciding now this future, this limitless income and impact that you make. Because you're a different Shelly, right. Empowered Shelly from that still struggling after divorce. Right? You've we've risen. Nice. I like that. Good. What's your biggest takeaway?

39:34

Oh, gosh, that I could actually break this down. And I'm facing that, that it's true. You're validating the fact that yes, I do have fear. And it is a good healthy fear. It's true. And I don't want to avoid it. I want to I do want to jump in and pursue it. So yeah, if

39:53

you're at least you have the fear. It means you're supposed to be doing it. Mm hmm. I mean, look, I I believe wholeheartedly you're supposed to be doing it. And here's what here's what got me to really take more action on my goals on my on this on my potential. There are versions of me I would just imagine the me that was hurting what I would have given to have heard me now be able to share some of what I know. So I want you to I think might be like that Shelley that was hopeless or discouraged and you think about her you're showing up for her there because there's there are people out there who won't ever find my work, but we'll find yours. Hmm. And it's your I believe moral obligation to show up. Now that concept made me so brave. Wow. It made me brave because it made me go oh, I can get over my fears. I know how lonely isolating that feels. And if I just like if one person just said hey, I was like you I get it. There's a way I'm going to teach you and it's simple and it's doable. It's more accessible and you think

41:03

well and that rings true for me because when I heard you that's what happened to me right so that's what made me feel like oh my gosh, there's somebody else that totally telling my story or putting it into words that I didn't have

41:15

Yeah, and then what did it make you feel it made you feel? Wait a second. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that's I want you to think about your day you know in the business world they call it your avatar but think about the think about I always think about the little Trish though like the old like I call her little Trish and I'm like she's out there and even when I feel discouraged I go go into compare and despair. I'm still like No, no, there are still Trisha is out there. Who thinks that they're the only ones who were struggling with overthinking the beating themselves up and like show up Trish keep trying keep putting you know keeps showing up Facebook live even if your skill stupid keep doing this. Like you just go i That's what gets me to go through the fear.

41:55

Yeah, I love that great lecture. All right, girl, take action to update me the COC. Okay, well, thanks. Okay, awesome. Okay, bye.

42:08

Guys, I hope you enjoyed that you got a taste of how coaching and some of our interaction in the college your confidence goes. And again, if you aren't in the COC, we take everything here, you think you're going from the podcast, your mind will be blown. When you come join us in the College of competence, I'm going to invite you to come check it out college confidence.com, total transparency, we have a legit 14 day money back guarantee, I'm that confident that this you will feel the difference in the shift in yourself and just 14 days. And if you don't, we're always happy to refund your money. And we've very, very, very, very, very seldomly in five years, had anybody asked for that money back. That's how confident we are in the experience. So come check it out. And if worst case scenario, if it's not for you, no hard feelings, I still love you. It'd be happy. I just want to make it easy for you to say yes, to going deeper on investing in yourself. Okay, before we go to listener, the episode, other episodes you're going to enjoy that go along with today's concept of really believing in your ability to achieve more than you think is possible. And then stay in a place of belief is episode 478. And that's Think bigger, believe bolder, Episode 512, trusting yourself and your decisions. And then Episode 523, believing with perseverance when your goals feel out of reach. So those are all there for you. And if you go to our show notes, and that's Trish blackwell.com forward slash 530 the shownotes we'll have it so that you can just do quick links, and go right to those episodes to listen. Hey, our listener the episode, I love highlighting our review of the episode and listen to the episode. This is Anne, she reached out on Instagram and just said hi, I literally just finished listening to one of your podcasts for the first time. And even after listening to just one. It put me in a better mood and mindset already. So thank you. I'm already feeling way better than it was an hour ago and I'm happy. I'm so happy. And for those of you who resonate with that and who feel the same way I ask of you is this Please share the show, please share it with a friend. Please share it with your mom, please share it with your sister. Please share it with your co workers please share it with your staff that you like we the more we can help others feel encouraged feel that they have the tools to create change in their life and stop feeling overwhelmed or anxious or stuck where they are man. We are creating a world that's really live. And that is a beautiful thing. Because I can't wait next week. By the way don't miss next week's episode. It's episode we're going to be talking about beating burnouts, how to beat burnout and stay motivated and it will be a great day next step for you to really go How do I make sure I don't burn out this year but remember, if you already want to get some get ahead on your motivation. If you've got to join me Monday night, January 23 7pm, you got to sign up now it's free, how to stay motivated, how to stay motivated, no matter what happens how to stay motivated, no matter how tired you get to your goal or how discouraged you get how to stay, how to create your own motivation. When motivation is hard to come by. It's gonna be good. I get asked all the time on this about this. How do you stay motivated Trish, so I got some secrets and I'm ready to share them. Make sure you sign up at www.TrishBlackwell.com/staymotivated . Now go out there today go be more who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of the confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level, and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet, and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free. You owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com