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You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. On your host Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized competence coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of competence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles, and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, guys, it's Trish Blackwell and you're listening to the confidence Podcast, episode 529. Ah, it's time to stir the greatness within you. It's time to wake yourself up to your fullest potential. Today's episode is called playing small, how to live up to your potential how to know if you're even doing that what to pursue how to do it, guys, I got you covered. And I'm coming off into today's in today's recording, so inspired. Because I'm thinking about people who who go all in. I have just two ridiculous examples for you one doesn't seem so ridiculous. But in comparison to the other one I'm going to mention to you, I think you might just smile and this has to open your mind to think more just creatively and openly to what you can do with your life that will inspire others by you just being the fullest version of you by you pursuing your fullest potential by not playing small and the first is last night my friend my girlfriend and I went and we went to the Wanna Dance with Somebody the new Whitney Houston movie, and I highly recommend it. Although I was both stressed and inspired the whole time. It was a very confusing emotional experience. But my gosh, the talent the storytelling of it in it is magnificent. But the challenge the the pursuit of one's fullest potential hurt being bugged boys like this voice of the generation. I mean, I'm like playing nonstop Whitney right now. Like all a worked out today, like I just, I even I feel moved when I see someone step into their potential when they are, they are playing big when your voice is big when you're being what you are this like really flow of talent. It's, it's not just beautiful, it moves other people. And the same way. So we just got back from the gym and my kids. You know, we're it's a family afternoon, my kids are watching this YouTube channel that we found. And I forget the guy's name Rob something. And he sets up 20 minute videos of obstacle courses for squirrels, let's write squirrels. But his storytelling and his with two months of prep into installing all this these, these really well designed mechanically designed features. And he tells a story of a narrative that I couldn't stop watching. I was supposed to be recording this 20 minutes ago, but I couldn't stop watching these. And it's extraordinary. Now that guy has, by the way, 72 million views on this. So there are other people, I'm not the first to discover him. But I say well done. You know, he's passionate about education, explain physics and helping people with the biomechanics of creating inventions. And that's so you see, every now and then he'll promote something, but you go while he is playing with his potential. He said, How can I bring people into seeing how cool is what I love to do? And I'm going to tell a story through squirrels. And it's captivating, right? In fact, I'll try to link some of his his I'll grab the YouTube links, put them in this just because one, I'm so delighted by it that just have to share if you want a good laugh if you want a good smile, if you have kids, I'm gonna send my parents. I mean, it's one of those things. But more than that, I want to show you if like I am in the same breath. I've been talking about Whitney Houston, who I think is the goat of all vocals. Right? Like I don't think there's and I have other some other big favorite vocalists, especially female vocalist. No one is Whitney Houston. Right? I mean, iconic is an understatement. And yet at the same time, I'm also really inspired by this guy who's doing squirrels like filming them and telling stories about them. And that's not to disparage one or the other, but whatever it is because your greatness inside of you is your ability to inspire the world around you. Because you have greatness inside of you, but are you fully sharing it with the world? Are you experiencing a great life or just a good one? And what we're gonna be talking about in this episode, we're gonna dive into helping you know if you're playing small or wasting your talent, because if you are and you're playing small, I want to talk to you about what to do about it. You're going to learn how to live up to your fullest potential. All, and I'm going to close out today's episode with some power thoughts that will equip you with a courage to live a bigger life to be bigger to, to share your passion, whatever it is to explore the fullest extent of your skill set. And in both cases, this guy who is producing these YouTube videos is extraordinary video editing. He's obviously extraordinary at his bio as mechanical engineering and creation of these little contraptions, and he's worked that skill. And what this film displays and gives you a narrative of was the, the work that wouldn't need was their gifting. Yes, but there was discipline and, and training, and a commitment to doing things that scared her. And that's what happens when you start playing big. But man, when you play big, you inspire others because you become a version of you that is fully fully alive. And my friends, it is beautiful. Okay, so in. More specifically, we're talking about today, why we play small and the thoughts specific thoughts that are holding you back, how to know if you're playing small or limiting yourself, power thoughts that will equip you with courage to live a bigger life. So make sure you listen all the way to the end, you're gonna get those power thoughts. If you ever hear me say something, or you hear a quote that I read, or I give you some specific power thoughts, you can go and find those written down for you, at my website, go to Trish blackwell.com, forward slash five to nine. But as we start talking about our potential, I want to, I want to remind you, there's a beautiful quote from Nelson Mandela. Speaking of Whitney Houston, Oh, guys, they showed her singing at his like his, you know, celebration at post apartheid, his release. And it is just, it's beautiful, the way it just just such a beautiful performance that you just watching the recreations of that performance gave my entire body chills. Nelson Mandela said this, there is no passion to be found in playing small and settling for life that is less than one you are capable of living. Your playing small does not serve the world friends do not be afraid to shine, or afraid of its power, because it is God given and God purposed. And I want to say this to you. When you show up for this, when you show up to say, I'm not going to settle for life that is less than the one I'm capable of living. Say that with me.

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I am not going to settle for a life that is less than than capable of one I can love living. And that what I'm capable of living. And I believe that when you shine, you decide to be This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. And you're not afraid of the power that I believe it's God given it is God purpose. And if you show up for it, it will be God blessed. It will be blessed by God. I remember this. For those of you who grew up in Sunday school or a Christian family, there's a there's a there's a song that you and I might know but if somebody didn't, I'm going to share the song as this little children's song called This little light of mine and you sing it and I and there were these the hand movements do it I can remember as a kid going, why would anybody hide their lights? The words go This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, hide it under a bushel, no, I'm gonna let it shine. And I can remember you just hand where your fingers the light and the know the bushel is, you know, they had to teach. I think I learned the song when I was six, maybe five. You put your hand over the light with the bushel you can see that it's hiding it. I can remember doing that. But like, Well, who would hide the light? Who would do that. And it's interesting. When I was in my late 20s, and I realized I was hiding my light. I went, it was like this weird like flashback to childhood memory of going, Oh, this is what it's like to hide your light. This is what it's like to hide my faith. This is what it's like to hide the light of being my full self because I'm still stuck in some self sabotage and afraid to be seen by the world. Like just question yourself like, am I hiding my light? Now I'm gonna let it shine. Anson St. Martin said this your fears worries and false beliefs do not keep you safe. They keep you small. We think we overthink things. We stay in one place with things. And we think that that the thinking and the worrying. And the fear that's keeping us safe. It's not it's keeping us small. Now there's a really one of probably her most famous writings is a beautiful poem by Marianne Williamson. And I'm going to read it it's called Our deepest fear. And when I came across this I came across this about 15 years ago when I started my personal development, my self growth journey. Our mid 20s I was about 25 years old. And here's what she said Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant and gorgeous, talented, fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be, you are a child of God you're playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We we're all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. And guys, I mean, think about how I started our conversation today. I was inspired by the light from a film from a YouTube clip of other people's shining bright, of using their passions in a unique and bright way. So before we dive into the coaching, we're and before we talk about why we play small, I just want to highlight our review of the week. This is from Grace horn. I just I just love the simple simplicity, this and I wanted to share this as the review of the week for those of you who haven't yet written interview and review in iTunes. It helps us reach more people helps us grow the show. So thank you in advance if you're going to do that this week for me. But don't overthink it. I think sometimes we put it off and we're like, I'm going to write really something very, very profound. Here's what Grace said, Trish, I enjoyed this podcast. Thank you for sharing. I'll probably keep listening. That's good. Beautiful. I'll take it. Thank you grace horn. Hey, guys, so please, even just one or two sentences really helps other people know, this is work. This is a worthwhile listen. And of course, I read every single review, and they move me and encourage me. So let's get into the coaching here. Why do we play small? I really believe we play small because it feels safer. I think it's also normal, we have normalized we live in a culture that is normalized. Playing a little bit smaller, not being seen quite so much. being conscientious to not make other people feel uncomfortable, because we're really going in living a full life. And sometimes we play small because it prevents us from being seen. I know I played small for a long time when I was in my early early 20s. Because I was still massively insecure with my body, constantly judging myself. And I didn't think I was worthy of being seen. I had so many negative thoughts about myself and how my body looks and all the things that I couldn't move if I wasn't playing small. Like I don't I didn't think I could handle it. But it also protects us from potential negative emotions, we think it does, at least we think it does. We think, well, if I'm already handling this, like how can I go to the next level we we go, we often tell ourselves the lie that it's going to be too hard for us to go or to maintain the next level of what we want to experience with our lives that contribute with our lives. It's really this narrative of if I'm already struggling with this right now, how will I ever manage to maintain bla bla bla? Or if I can barely keep my head above water? Now? How could I possibly think I could do anything bigger? So what happens is not that we consciously set smaller goals, but based on your circumstances, and then limitations that you feel right now, you temper your future goals by going I mean, I can barely handle what I got going now, why would I even think I could think bigger. Because I did that for years. And here's what's happening. When you do that when you think that way you're discrediting the maturity, the capacity, the growth, the experiential knowledge, the mentors that are going to come in your life, the confidence podcast that is helping you that's going to expand your future self, you are thinking about your future through the lens of your present, but you've got to think about your future capability through the lens of your future self, the version of you that is grown, the version of you that is courageous, the version of you that has experienced coaching that has mastered your mindset, instead of letting your mind master you, the version of you who has done the work to expand the talent, the version of you who says I'm showing up and I'm gonna keep showing up. Sometimes too, though, it's interesting to note, we sometimes we play small too, because possibly, you're afraid of being too powerful, of making other people feel bad or being too successful or that if you are too successful, and you might be too many expectations placed on you and you're a little nervous about maybe you wouldn't be able to handle that. What's so interesting is this all goes into we're afraid of what other people are gonna think, which little reminder, you can never control what they think anyway good or bad. And yet we tiptoe and then also we're afraid of emotions in the future and where we are in. The way we're gonna cut through that today is remind yourself that you have decided to be a person who is unafraid of your emotions, the more you're willing to feel your emotions and then and master your emotions. Your emotions are going to be along for the ride but They are the indicators of your life, not the dictators, they can sit in the passenger seat, and they don't have to be in the driver's seat, you do not have to be afraid of a future emotion. Yet, I can tell you right now I spent years, not going all in on my life. Because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle future emotions. I was afraid that I was going to be too powerful. And I wouldn't know what to do, which sounds ridiculously arrogant. But look, I know, for those of you who who are wired, the way my brain is wired, you are an all or nothing your your type A and you know, you can achieve things. But you're also heard, you've heard whispers along the way of, wow, it must be nice to be so good at everything. And I remember consoling myself to go well at least I'm not this. And I was afraid to be really successful in all areas, because I thought it would make other people uncomfortable. But I gotta tell you, no matter what you do in your life, there are going to be people who don't like you. They're going to be people who disagree with how you live your life. They're going to people who are uncomfortable with you. But there are other people who are waiting for you to be an example of what is possible. There are other people who, as William said, Who Williamson says that are, are unconsciously waiting for the permission from you to do the same. When they see your own light shine, they see you step into stopping the overthinking and stop cowering and playing small they see you go live on purpose with purpose for purpose, they go, hold on, that's available to me too. I remember when I discovered a lot of this in my mid 20s. I was like I don't even know about this, I didn't even know I had choice in how my life was gonna play it out. I didn't know I could, I could just decide that bigger things were possible. For me, I had been told much my life yet. I lost that belief. And I had to remember and so perhaps, as you hear my voice today, you're remembering how to think big.

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And here's the deal. If if you've believed the flawed narrative that's easier to play small. And want to add to this, what you don't realize is that by playing small, you're also making your life harder. And it's harder because your heart will forever feel unsettled and unfulfilled when you're not pursuing your purpose when you're not showing up big when you're when you're under serving when you're under earning when you're underperforming. You know it now maybe in some, not everyone knows that. But you know, you know that you were made for more and yet you stay comfortable. And that's emotionally hard. And I want to point out the challenge here that we're afraid of the emotions of the future yet we settle for emotions that are discomfort uncomfortable now. It's actually easier to play big because you start creating a life that just like makes you want to pinch yourself. It's It's amazing. This is what I do in my my, my my members in the college competence we we recreate, I can't believe this is my life outcomes. And it all starts with this decision deciding to stop to pay smile. Now, when you play small, let's talk for a moment, what do you miss out on? Well, I really believe when you play small you miss out on the full, full spectrum of a human experience, you miss out on your own growth, we miss out on making the difference that we were meant to make. We miss out on the life of our dreams. We miss out on deep fulfillment of contribution, we miss out on income, we miss out on opportunities. We miss out on fulfilling relationships. We miss out on seeing different talent within ourselves that we didn't even know there. I think we also miss out on seeing God do miracles and multiplying our efforts to do good in the world. Now, how do you know if you're playing small and what to do now? I'm gonna make this pretty simple. We probably you probably are. Because here's what I really believe I believe in some capacity we all are. One of the things I'm constantly asking myself constantly questioning within myself is where am I playing small in my life? Where is my thinking? Staying safe? And sometimes it's professional, sometimes it's financial. Sometimes it's relational. Sometimes it's physical. But where am I playing small? What am I saying putting unknowingly or knowingly placing limits on myself. And I want you to ask yourself this, here's some questions that you can ask. It'll be helpful to know where you can start exploring what areas of your life you want to start exploring. It's not that you have to do all areas at one time. I'm a big fan of constraint. I'm a big fan of picking a thing as in, I'm going to be brave here. And once you trust yourself that you're capable of being brave, there's easier to start adding more areas. And I got to tell you as it was it 25 is when I really realized I could play big with my life. And then I gotta tell you, too, I was just doing my doing some journaling. And it was at 35 that I would I even thought I thought even bigger. So it's there's going to be incremental growth to this as you continue to play with that. For me often My prayer is to, because I talk to God about a lot of this. And so if you're a person of faith, this will resonate for you. But I like to ask the Lord like, why am I thinking small? Give me vision. Give me vision that scares me. And you guys, God always answers. So ask here's some questions you can ask yourself, Am I holding back anywhere? Am I fully investing in growing my strengths? Do I value boldness, creation and contribution? And because I'm gonna sidenote recommend that these are really great journaling questions and prompts to get you to go okay, what am I ready for next? Okay, so am I holding back anywhere? Am I fully investing in growing my strengths? Do I value boldness, creation and contribution? Do I know that my voice matters? Where can I think bigger? How about this one? Where have I avoided growth? Knowingly or unknowingly? How do I want to be remembered? How am I using my money to do good in the world? whose opinions Am I afraid of? Whose approval am I seeking? Now? Once you decide where you're playing small, and if and where right? If you are and where in your life you are? What what what can you do? Well, a couple of things that you can do. And these are oversimplifications. Of course, we expand on the coaching of this of like, what does this mean? And how do you how do you act this out in your life and the College of competence? I would love to have you come join us there and take this to the next level, take these concepts and principles, and not just think about them, but do something about them. And that sometimes it's it's getting a coach getting in community that will help you do that. So that would be a way to make sure you don't just think about it this time and you start doing it. But what did you take action? I want you to become a massive action taker. I coach my members all the time on this, stay convicted, stay connected, remind yourself, go back and listen to this episode again. Right? Stay convicted to going I was made and created for purpose. And I know that I can make my The only limitation to what is possible for me is my imagination. Guard your mind. Often we start playing small because we are not guarding our minds, meaning we are massively procrastinating. We're letting our minds wander. We're drifting through life. Or we're spending our time we're inspired. And we have this like these ideas. And then we scroll and we compare and despair. And then we think well, they're already doing it. And they're prettier. And they're smarter. And they're ahead of me. What's the point? And so we often give up before we even start because we just haven't done the simple discipline of guarding our mind. It's like when you're a kid and you and I at least when I was a kid, and I would try to sneak MTV my mom was like, Absolutely not. We don't watch that here. And she would guard the channel. And sometimes I would try to go back but like, it was the No, no, this is where we stay focused. You can watch National Geographic, you can do this. There were certain limitations and boundaries, to keep my mind on what was what was good and healthy, especially for me at that age. But are you guarding your own mind? Are you surrounding yourself with inspiring people? Are you listening to inspiring things while you are right now? Are you reading inspiring books? Or are you reading and scrolling mindlessly? Are you reading in the news instead of the book that you want to grow you? What are you watching? are you guarding your mind? Master your mindset? Do you want to start playing big with your life if you want to create a big, epic life, a life we're telling a story about master your mindset. Horace said master your mind or your mind will master you. But it's not a I wish I could control my mind. I actually thought my mind I remember saying to myself in my young 20s I was like my mind is a hot mess and there's no way I can ever be held. If you had told me that, who I would be right now I'm 39 years old. And what are we talking about in the mastery of my mind that I have? I would have said that's not possible. But I tell you this I serve a God who does miracles. I serve a God who takes the impossible and makes it possible. So I don't know if you're saying oh yeah, Trisha, you don't get it. My mind's like, like crazy. I'm an overthinker always had that always will be Yep, made to stop labeling yourself in your past and start believing in the future that you can become that can be transformed within you. So master your mindset do the work. And the work is it's easy. It's simple, but just because it's simple, doesn't mean it's easy. Journaling can change your life. Reading a gratitude journal, five things a day, just right Get down, we're talking a minute and a half exercise can change your entire experience of your life. Easy to do. Very simple. But 99% of you listening won't do it. Because it's too simple. But it's also hard. It's hard to say, this minute matters hard sometimes to believe in the compound effect that your micro habits are all actually where the mass magic of your transformation happens. And so show up. Be somebody who shows up for yourself, you show up for yourself in your in your habits, you show up for yourself, by investing yourself, you show up for yourself, in your relationship with God in your time that you spend with him, you show up for your workouts you show up, like be a person who shows up, you have been given the gift of life, what are you doing with it? Even if you just go I'm showing up for the gift that I've been given. And today and and maybe you don't know what you're where you want to go and what what looking big in and in tapping into your fullest talent means that's okay. Make the decision say I'm going to show up and be all in on the life that I have right now. Another thing two things you can do is steward your talents, meaning train your mind. If you have a voice like Whitney Houston, do the work. train it, expand your the, the the the range, if you are an athlete, train your body. And then then some and be the person that trains more and stewards and takes care of that what you have been given more than anybody else.

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Take your talents, your gifts and do something with them. But take it seriously. So if you're an artist, you're like, well, everybody says I can't make money with art. Stop listening to random people who have no idea of what you have within you. And start showing up for your gifting. Expanding your gifting stewarding your talents and then be brave Hey, for us to live a big life we got to be brave. It's emotionally brave. It's it's putting yourself out there. And it's a beautiful thing when you decide to be those things. I want to close today's episode out with some power thoughts I want to see how many do I have here are just a handful. But I have eight for you and I'm gonna read them twice. And these are just when I say power thought I often coach on this it's a power thought it's an affirmation. It's a proclamation it's a declaration. And the more you say these things to yourself and about yourself the more you write these down, the more you will believe them. And when you start believing them it's really crazy what happens how you start showing up. You start showing up for your calling you stop you start stop worrying about what someone's gonna think of you and you are more brave you start stop overthinking you say there are people waiting for my help. I'm going to get out there I'm going to be bright. Why do I Why am I choosing between which two candles to shine? Why don't I grab the candle that I have and start shining the light. So number one, I am a world changer. And difference maker. I am a world changer and difference maker number two, My voice matters. My voice matters. Number three, I will live my life with boldness and brightness. I hate when light fires me up when I read it I will live my life with boldness and brightness. Number four, I am a lamp on a hill and I will shine I am a lamp on a hill and I will shine number five the bigger I live the more I lead and inspire others to do the same. The bigger I live the more I lead and inspire others to do the same. Number six what I do with my life is a gift of gratitude back to God what I do with my life is a gift of gratitude back to God number seven people are waiting for my help you can even say it people are waiting for my light number eight I will be an example of what is possible. I will be an example of what is possible. Oh I just reading this feels good. That's why I call them power thoughts they give you power. Make sure you get the list go to the show notes for today's episode on my website. And make sure you copy paste these over. send yourself a text with them put them in your in your email, write them out in your calendar. Make these your statements and before we close out and share the listener of the episode hey if you have goals for 2023 don't do them on your own. Give yourself an edge that you've never had before in the COC. The college competence is that edge. It is the difference maker. And if you don't believe us, well just come see for yourself. We come with a 14 day money back guarantee. Join us today, a college a confidence.com. i If you don't feel the difference in the first 14 days and you're not already more inspired, already feeling more encouraged. Just let us know my team and I would happy be happy to refund your money. Hey, and if you if you loved last week's live coaching session, I want you to know we're doing it again next week. So make sure you subscribe to the show. So you don't miss it. And the listener episode is press Priss this Hello, thank you so much for being my bright star and a dark sky. I've listened to almost all of your podcasts and wow, I have been able to see now a light at the end of the dark tunnel. I look forward to joining the College of competence very soon. So many wonderful real topics and I continue listening to who cares what people think over and over and over. Thank you for giving me hope again. My self worth is starting to grow again. I deserve kindness and respect a min girl. And if I could scream on top of the mountain, I would say Trish you saved me I have like deeply emotional reading that i i think I'm emotional since this Whitney Houston movie goal. Like first Thank you, Chris, I can't wait to for you to join us in the COC cannot wait to for you to see what is possible. Even in a couple months of this UFC it's going to blow your mind and you're going to start being the bright light on a mountain to others. I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of you for doing the work of putting in the time to listen to the show to do the work to apply it to your life. Girl, you've done it. Well done. Well done, guys. I love you. Thank you for the privilege it is to be a voice of encouragement in your life weekly. And for those of you in the COC, I can't wait to see you. I'll see you this week. We got lots of live coaching happening this week and I cannot wait to see you there. Alright guys, let's go no more smallness. You were created for more time to go live it up. Go out there today. Go be more who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode or the competence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of confidence at college incompetence.com. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at culture confidence.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai