STOP MAKING THINGS HARDER THAN THEY NEED TO BE
Are you constantly pushing yourself to reach higher and accomplish more, only to feel disappointed when the results don’t match up to your expectations? Do you find that no matter how hard you work, it’s never enough? If so, then it’s time for a reality check—because while there is great power in challenging ourselves, many people simply make life harder than they need to be. From unrealistic goals and crushing perfectionism to burning out before getting where we want to go, let’s look at why this might be happening and what can be done about it.
If this sounds familiar, then it’s time to start thinking differently about how we set ourselves up for success. In this podcast, I’m going to explore how being kinder to yourself can help unlock your potential and give you the confidence boost necessary for achieving things more easily!
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re chatting about:
- 12 things you’re doing that are over-complicating your life
- How to stop making things harder than they need to be
- The power thoughts you can use to tap into the “ease of success”
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
Nobody said success was easy, and we all know that getting to where you want to be in life often requires hard work and dedication. But with the right plan, anything is possible. If you’re looking for a roadmap for success or a step-by-step guide on how to reach your goals in 2023, look no further!
Join me on Thursday, 12/29 for my 2023 Confident Year Master Planning Session. I will provide the necessary tools and strategies needed to create your very own master plan — helping get you there even faster. Here’s why high achievers should have their 2023 Confident Year Master Plan ready now: so they are already one step ahead of everyone else! A $1,000 experience, for an exclusive, never-offered-before-discounted price.
You get 2-hours of coaching, the masterclass replay, and the 24-page workbook, a package I used to charge $1000 for, for just one payment of $97.
Go to www.trishblackwell.com/2023 to get started.
Stop Making Things Harder Than They Need to Be
It’s easier than you think it is.
The main thing getting in your way is your mind.
Master your mind or your mind will master you.
12 WAYS YOU’RE MAKING THINGS TOO HARD
1. You’re overthinking things
One of the ways you might be making things too hard on yourself is by overthinking things. When you overthink a situation, you tend to complicate it and make it more difficult than it needs to be. Instead of overthinking, try to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. This will help you to simplify things and make them easier to handle.
2. You’re trying to do too much
Another way you might be making things too hard on yourself is by trying to do too much. When you try to take on more than you can handle, you end up feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Instead of trying to do everything, focus on doing one thing at a time and taking things one step at a time.
3. You’re not taking breaks
If you’re not taking breaks, you’re likely making things harder on yourself than necessary. When you work non-stop, you wear yourself out both mentally and physically. This can lead to burnout and make it difficult to get anything done. Instead of working non-stop, make sure to take breaks throughout the day to rest and rejuvenate yourself.
-Take Productive Pauses
4. You’re being too hard on yourself
One of the ways you might be making things too hard on yourself is by being too hard on yourself. If you’re constantly putting pressure on yourself to be perfect, you’re going to end up feeling stressed and frustrated. Instead of being so hard on yourself, try to cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break.
We all make mistakes, but we should learn from them instead of beating ourselves up over them. Beating yourself up will only make you feel worse and it won’t change anything. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and move on.
5. You’re not asking for help
You’re trying to do everything by yourself.
Trying to do everything by yourself is not only exhausting, it’s also unnecessary. There are people in your life who want to help you, so let them! Delegate tasks and accept help when it’s offered. This will help lighten your load and make things easier for you.
Another way you might be making things too hard on yourself is by not asking for help when you need it. When you try to do everything on your own, you end up feeling overwhelmed and bogged down. Instead of struggling through on your own, reach out to others for help when you need it.
6. You’re procrastinating
If you’re putting off tasks until the last minute, you’re likely making things harder on yourself than necessary. When you procrastinate, you often end up feeling rushed and stressed out as the deadline approaches. Instead of procrastinating, try to get started on tasks as soon as possible so that you can avoid the stress of last-minute scrambling
7. You’re comparing yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others is a surefire way to make yourself feel bad about yourself. Everyone is on their own journey in life and comparing your journey to someone else’s is pointless. Focus on your own journey and be proud of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.
8. You’re holding onto grudges.
Holding onto a grudge will only make you feel angry and resentful. Let go of the grudge and move on with your life. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their actions, it just means that you are ready to let go of the negativity and move on.
9. You’re living in the past.
Living in the past will only make you feel nostalgic and sad. The past is in the past for a reason, so focus on the present and the future. Make new memories and experiences that will make you happy.
10. You’re taking things too seriously.
Not everything in life needs to be taken so seriously all the time. Learn to relax and have fun once in a while. Don’t sweat the small stuff and just enjoy life!
11. You’re setting unrealistic expectations for yourself.
If you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s important to be realistic with yourself and set goals that are achievable. This way, you can actually accomplish something and feel good about it instead of feeling like a failure.
-Friends – there’s a difference here between unrealistic expectations and unrealistic goals — unrealistic expectations are refusing to accept that you will be human.
12 . You’re not taking care of yourself.
If you don’t take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally, then it will be very difficult to accomplish anything else in life. Make sure to take care of your body and mind by eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep, etc. Once you take care of yourself, everything else will fall into place
HOW TO STOP BEING SO TOUGH ON YOURSELF (IT’S MAKING IT HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE)
Identify what beliefs you’re ready to question?
This is supposed to always be hard.
I need to earn a break.
Everyone else has this figured out.
I’m just someone who is “hard” on themselves.
We just did an entire workshop in the COC on How to Stop Beating Yourself Up. Join us to get instant access to the worksheet, the coaching and the process to break the cyclone of brutality that happens in your mind.
POWER THOUGHTS TO TAP INTO EASE OF SUCCESS
I achieve things with ease.
Confidence is my super-fuel.
Everything is working. I’m on my way.
I’m supposed to struggle and supposed to mess up – that’s how I learn and grow.
How can I make this easier?
How can I simplify this?
What I tell the little me here?
How can I choose a more powerful attitude?
What do I want to feel here – and what thought will create that feeling?
Reframe How You’re Thinking About …
The speed and rate of your progress
Your success compared to others
The discipline of doing the little things well, over and over
Explore what potential you have – expand the possibilities within you and what’s available to you this coming year. I’m ready to become a bolder me in 2023, how about you?
Personal Potential – How to Know What’s Within You
Impact Potential – How to Know What Difference You Can Make
Free Time Potential – How to Create More Time Margin in Your Life
Change Potential – How to Believe in Transformation and Change
Income Potential – How to Expand Your Financial Possibilities
Adventure Potential – How to Live a Life that Fires You Up
EPISODES MENTIONED IN TODAY’S SHOW
#520: Overthinking and Overwhelm – How to Create Mental Peace
#252: How to Be Nice To Yourself
#516: Being Different From Others
You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized competence coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles, and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, there, it's Trish Blackwell and you're listening to the confidence podcast you are in Episode 527. We're in the last week of 2022. Guys. Happy early New Year, it's time to start really doubling down on setting your plans. Deciding what extraordinary experiences you will create for yourself, what extraordinary impact you will make in the world in 2023, what extraordinary changes you will make and create within yourself. I love I love the turn of the new year. I'm really excited. You're also going to love what we're talking about today. Because most of the most likely you are someone who craves more, I know that most of you who listen, and you listen to the show, because you resonate with me, you know, you're wired like me, you well, you might beat yourself up a little bit, you might make things harder than they need to be, you might be really tough on yourself. And so that's what we're talking about today how to stop making things harder than they need to be. And are you a question for you is if you're constantly pushing yourself to reach higher and accomplish more only to feel disappointed when the results don't match up to your expectations that you find that you you're trying to avoid failure. But you're you know, you need to push for it but makes you feel so bad that you're not sure how to process it and get get to the next level. And then you know, you want to get to the next level of your life. But at the moment, you still feel overwhelmed keeping up with the current with what you're currently balancing. And then the narrative that your brain offers you is the thought that well if I can only if this if this overwhelms me, who am I to think I can do more? And we're going to break all that down? Don't you worry. But it's time for a real reality check. Because if you're thinking that no matter how hard you work, it's never enough. No, it's time for us to change the way you think the way you think is creating a flawed error and how you're experiencing life. You're short selling yourself on your potential and your ability to create an extraordinary, amazing, beautiful life. Because while there's great power in challenging ourselves, many people simply make life harder than it needs to be to you know, and there's a lot of contributors to that, from unrealistic goals to crushing perfectionism to burning out before getting where we want to go, we're gonna look at why that might be happening and what can be done about it. So if this sounds familiar, then it's time to start thinking differently about how you're setting yourself up for success. In this podcast episode, I'm going to explore how being kinder to yourself can actually help unlock your potential and give you the confidence boost necessary for achieving things more easily. So in particular, we're going to talk about 12 things that you're doing that are overcomplicating your life, we're going to talk about 12 things to stop doing. And we're also going to talk about how to stop making things harder than they need to be. Sometimes it's simply just the way we're thinking about it. And then I have some really helpful power thoughts, power statements that you can use, I'm going to share with you at the end of the episode on how to choose how to tap in to this concept of the ease of success. Really, really excited about it. First, let's review our review of the week. This is from rigs 27, nine t 27 919472. And they said mindset or reset? Well, this is Brittany she says this, every time I scroll through Trisha episodes, I immediately feel this sense of relief. Because Oh no, I'm about to listen to words that will completely change my mindset and anxiety. This podcast is truly a godsend for me. I've recently joined the college of competence and has provided me not only with a supportive group of strong individuals that share my thoughts and perspectives, but a community of passionate dedicated people that are committed to changing their mindsets and focusing in on their goals and dreams with no judgment. Pause Brittany, I don't think I could have more succinctly described the COC than what you just did. But eautiful I'm so glad that that is what you're experiencing because that is what I know is there. If you have ever even she continues, if you've even questioned joining, please take the plunge. It has changed my life. And I cannot thank Trish enough for this opportunity. Trish, thank you for being so real, relatable and encouraging. I genuinely feel so blessed to be in this community with you much love Britney, you guys. I'm not making this up. This is the review in iTunes word for word. Britney sister, thank you. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for helping those who might be on the fence about jumping into the COC. As Brittany said, take the plunge folks. Hey, I also need to give a thank you to every one of you who listens to the show, every one of you who was pressed that forward button and shared an episode that resonated with you with a friend with a family member. Oh, who's who shared it on your Instagram or any social media. You guys we have reached more people this year than ever before. We have reached 174 countries around the world with our listening. We have 174 countries listening. And we've we are at almost 4.7 We're we're over the 4.7 million download Mark, we will be hitting that 5 million mark very very, very shortly. And this year alone, we are at 1.2, almost 1.3 million listens. And it's because you are sharing you are spreading the good news. So thank you in advance to continue doing that share the show if this show has impacted you. Share it with somebody else. Share the love. Thank you in advance for that. One final announcement before we go into the coaching, hey, nobody said success was easy. And we know that getting to where you want in your life requires hard work and dedication. But here's the deal guys with the right plan anything is possible. And if you're looking for a roadmap to success, or step by step guide on how to reach your goals in 2023 Look no further join me this Thursday. That's two days from now 1229 For my 2023 competent your master planning session, I will provide the necessary tools and strategies needed to create your very own master plan, which is going to help you get to your goals even faster. That's what I do. I help you get where you want to go faster. And with more confidence, which means more ease. You get to get this at an exclusive never offered before discounted price. This is $1,000 coaching experience two hours of coaching the masterclass replay the 24 Plus page workbook, it's a package I used to charge 997 for and you get it this year for just one payment of $97 you do need to sign up you need to grab your spot now. Go to Trish blackwell.com forward slash 2023 to grab your spot and get started. Now let's get into the coaching. Let's stop making things harder than they need to be because it's easier than you think it is. I mean anything, anything you're doing any goal that you're have, you're approaching, whether it's the goal to clean up your junk room in your house or your junk drawer, or get ahead in your inbox for your for your work emails, or change careers or lose the last 40 pounds, whatever it is, that chances are, you're making it bigger than it needs to be. You can do so much more than you think you can. But if you start if you keep telling yourself it's gonna be really hard. And I'm not sure you're making it harder than it needs to be. We're creating mountains out of out of molehills. So the main thing getting in your way is your mind. When you master your mind, you can do anything. But if you don't master your mind, your mind will master you. It will intimidate you about how hard it's going to be. It will intimidate you about the hiccups. It will it will convince you out of your consistency. That's why so many people give up on their goals before they get there.
And one of the things I teach my students is to ask yourself, What if this was easier? What would it look like? What would it look like? If I did this with more ease? Sometimes we overcomplicate things, especially our own schedules, simply because we haven't thought it through what is an easier way to do this? Nope. So let's talk in general about 12 ways that you're making things too hard. You are doing this yourself. You are making life harder than it needs to be. You are making the achievement of your goals harder than it needs to be you're making the changes you want to make within yourself harder than it needs to be. Here are the 12 ways and small things I want you to stop doing. Okay, number one, you're over. We're thinking things. One of the ways you may be making things too hard on yourself is by overthinking things when you overthink a situation. You always complicate it and make it more difficult than it needs to be. So instead of overthinking, try to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. This will help you to simplify things and make them easier to handle. And if you haven't yet listened to Episode 520, I have an entire episode on exactly how to stop overthinking. So that's next up but that next in your listening if you tend to overthink things, that is simply just a pattern of behavior that you've you've taught your brain or allowed your brain to indulgent I think so many people, at least myself included, spend time going well I just can't help it. I overthink. You can't help it. You have power of your brain. Remember master your mind or your mind will master you and somebody who's saying I you know I just overthink is allowing your mind to master you, you are the master of your mind. So go listen to episode 520. You can scroll back in the podcast app that you're listening to. Or go to Trish blackwell.com Ford slash 520. After you listen to today's episode, there is a step by step way that you can break that pattern, simplify your thinking, clean up your thoughts and make things easier. Number two, you're trying to do too much. Another way you may be making things too hard on yourself is by trying to do too much. When you try to take on more than you can handle, you end up being overwhelmed and stressed out. So guys, instead of trying to do everything, focus on doing one thing at a time, and taking one step at a time. I think sometimes we over commit, we try to do too much. And too many goals at one time. One of the things I teach in the COC is constraint is picking one extraordinary goal, elevating that and going for it and everything else. We have other subsidiary goals, secondary goals, and those often are actually actualized and achieved as byproducts of the main goal. You cannot split your focus. And when you're trying to do too much often that is coming from people pleasing, or striving or trying to prove your worth and not knowing that one, you are enough and you are worthy because you exist and because you are who God created you. Now, the second part of that is you sometimes maybe there's some control going on there. I know that when I was in the phases of doing too much. I was just I was trying to prove myself I was trying to earn the the the applause of other people and I was afraid to let other people help. Learning how to delegate learning how to ask for help learning that you don't have to do it all will change your life. Number three, you're not taking breaks. If you're not taking breaks, you're likely making things harder on yourself than necessary. Now look, I'm with you. I'm I love a good burn. I love a good 14 hour day where I'm like, look at all I got done. Except you can't sustain that. When you work nonstop, you wear yourself out both mentally and physically. You lose your humaneness. You lose your joy, you can do it every now and then. But then you got you you, you get disengaged you you wonder why you stop feeling excited about things. You wonder why you feel guilty. When you're having free time. You wonder why you can't sit still or when you why you're overeating at night, because you're feeling emotional. And you're feeling emotional because you're just so tired because you express yourself thin and you're burning out this leads to burnout. And it can make it difficult to get anything done. Or it also steals from youth to fulfillment of just simply creating a beautiful life and living a life well lived. One of the game changing moments of my life when I was was when I was living in France. And my French mentor. I like to think of her as my French mom, Nat Natalie, and I remember sitting in our garden and it was like a Saturday afternoon and we were having some wine and some coffee and it was just a slower pace was so beautiful. And I remember just looking across at me at the table with other guests. And just this she said lovey, lovey Bella and I remember thinking which means if you don't speak French it's Gosh Isn't life beautiful? And I love that and I remember sitting in soaking in and just looking around and we just did. And I remember one of our children pulled us up and we went to walk and look at the flowers. But that was that we create a carved and created out intentional slowness. And that changed my life. Love joie de vivre, the joy of actually living not just working and achieving but living. So instead of working nonstop, make sure to take breaks throughout the day to rest and rejuvenate yourself and you will be more effective. We in a COC we call this productive pauses moments of margin but a productive pause is When the productivity of the pause of the doing nothing, is actually to turn your brain off, to do nothing to be human to rest, to indulge in a hobby. And you will find that when you come back to the work, whether it's housework or work work, you will be twice as effective, your brain will work faster, it will be sharper, and you can get more done in less time, it becomes easier to accomplish things. Number four, that is holding you back that you're making things too hard than they need to be is that you are being too hard on yourself. One of the ways you might be making that is that because if you're constantly putting pressure on yourself to be perfect, you're going to end up feeling stressed out and frustrated, you've got to cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break, beating yourself up. Here's the deal, we all make mistakes. But if you beat yourself up, you stay in a self critical space, you cannot grow in a place of criticism and judgment. beating yourself up is only going to make you feel worse, and it won't change anything. But when you are kind to yourself and you forgive yourself and you move on, and you get curious about how you can improve that is where growth comes from. That is how we shift and we change things. And if you want some more work on this episode 525 How to Be nice to yourself is going to be an episode for you. 525 is a great episode to listen to. And we actually have an entire workshop on exactly how to break the self critical cycle. We have that available for you instantly when you join the COC. And it's a step by step worksheet that you can ask yourself to break the cycle of beating yourself up because it's theirs. It's internal brutality. And it doesn't help. Number five, you're not asking for help. You're trying to do everything for yourself. Trying to do everything for yourself is not only exhausting, guys, it's unnecessary. There are people in your life who want to help you. So let them del it does not make you weak, it actually makes you wise delegate tasks, accept help when it's offered, say thank you. This will lighten your load and make things easier for you. Because when you try to do everything on your own, there's a there's a low greed, arrogance and and striving that comes in and you end up feeling overwhelmed and it feeling the martyr syndrome coming out. And you self exhaust, you're depleting your own battery. It's like walking around with your iPhone, and it's on like, you know, 10% and you're like I need this to last all day. I wish I could charge it. Oh, I need to keep using it. So I can't charge it. But you're standing saying that right next to a plugged in charger or ready that fits your phone, ready to be plugged in. Ask for help ask to borrow that person's plug. Stop doing everything by yourself, you do not need to be the hero. It's just not wise. Number six, you're procrastinating if you're putting off tasks until the last minute, you are making things entirely harder than they need to be. You're putting off the hard to make it harder every time you put something off, it adds to its hardness and the and what's expected. And it steals emotional energy from you in the in the lag period between when you think about it, and when you actually do it. When you procrastinate, you feel rushed, stressed and that deadline approaches. And so it's it is it's self created stress, and you probably continue to do it because you like well, it's just really good way for me to work. And that is one of the most flawed thoughts that's gonna set you up to live a reactive life.
A reactive life is one that reacts to what happens. And you end up experiencing whatever life throws your way. If you want to live and experience an extraordinary life and you want to make an extraordinary difference with the life that God gave you. We need to be proactive. So wherever you're procrastinating, we do this from not from a place of judgment, but from a place of excitement. What a great opportunity to learn how to reframe that load a great opportunity to show yourself that you can behave differently. You can think differently, you can and you show up and act differently because you no longer associate with procrastination as your go to because the procrastination is not going to ever going to create a life. That's worth telling a story about number seven, you're comparing yourself to others. Because comparing yourself to others is a surefire way to make sure you feel bad about yourself. It's like a guaranteed pull away to despair. And that's why we all had that phrase compare and despair. Remember this everyone is on their own journey in life and comparing your journey to someone else's is absolutely pointless. And one of the ways to break free from comparing is to learn how to build yourself up how to be okay being you being different from others. We have an episode that a lot of people resonate with it's episode 516 being different from others that will resonate with you as well. I'm to let yourself stay in your own lane. So that's a great lesson if you want to work on self comparison, the eighth thing that you are doing that is that you're potentially doing that's making things harder than they need to be, is that you're holding on to grudges. Holding on to a grudge is only going to make you feel angry and resentful. And it's emotionally immature. It's keeping you in your 1.0 self instead of allowing you to step into into your 2.0. So let go of the grudge, forgive. Let it move on with your life and stop living in the past and your old story. forgiving someone does not mean that you can do on their actions, it just means that you're ready to go let go of the negativity and move on. If you want to listen to an episode where I share some of the things I've let go of the deep emotional and is it this is a trigger warning, I talk about some sexual abuse I talk about some very, very deep things in this episode. And eating disorders are episode 444 is you're going to hear my story and how I walked to a place of forgiveness that gave let me let go with the negativity and the circumstantial gunk that was keeping me stuck. Number nine, you're living in the past, living in the past will keep you from the future that God has for you. The past is the past for reasons of focus on the present, and on your future self on the future you're creating on intentional creation of what you want to experience with the difference. You want to make a becoming the person that you envision and desire to become. You don't become somebody who does great things in the world on accident. It's by being proactive, it's by being intentional is by getting serious about how you master your mind. And again, don't let any of that overwhelm you. If you the first step is to simply go Okay, it's time for me to learn to master my mind and live proactively. And if you're like alright, Trish what next? Well keep listening to the show. And then come join us in the COC. It is the most proactive group of people you will ever find most proactive and positive, and you will get swept up into the possibilities for your life. And I'm telling you, it's game changing. It's life changing. And that's why we have a guarantee behind it. That's why we're so that's why I'm so passionate and I talk about the COC all the time, because I believe it is the most encouraging most oh my gosh, life changing place on the internet. Okay, number 10 This one I fell into so much. You're taking things too seriously. And one of the things I coach on in the CUC is how to love your life, how to be happier, how to have more fun how to take things less seriously, because your girl here, man, I can take them things seriously. And I learned that the pressure I used to put on myself to take things really seriously choked me out IT sabotage my success. When you learn how to relax and have fun, and have a beautiful life, not just a productive life, your productivity skyrockets, and your enjoyment and fulfillment in life transforms. If you want to learn how to enjoy life, I would love to help you do that. And I'm telling you, giving yourself permission to enjoy life is also going to be the gateway to giving yourself permission to accelerate the capacity and the potential of your success. I think so many people are afraid to go, Well, I don't want to enjoy life. Because then what if I stopped taking my work seriously, or my goal? Seriously? No, no, I'm going to tell you this. The more fun you have, the more accessible your goals will be. There's a way to have focused fun. So give yourself a break. Number 11. You're setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. So it's important to look I believe in impossible goals. I believe in big hairy audacious goals, but we call them B hags. We also call them extraordinary goals. But here's what I mean about a realistic expectation. I want I don't want you to say I'm going to make if you're just starting your business that you're going to make a million dollars with in your first six months, probably not realistic or that if you're in a weight loss journey, that you're gonna lose 20 pounds in one month. That's not science. That's not how the body works. We want to set stretch goals goals that excite us, but also are available big crazy goals, but then sub set goals that are stepping stones to that. So it's this carrot that that entices us and pulls us towards remind us of what we are capable of. And so, friends, there's a difference between unrealistic expectations and unrealistic goals, unrealistic realistic expectations is refusing to accept the fact that you are human. So that's the difference. The unrealistic expectations for the goals are that well I have this big goal. And it needs to be achieved on this exact timeline. Well, that doesn't allow for failure. That doesn't allow for you to be one week that doesn't allow for somebody in your family to be hospitalized. And you need to take a break for a week and be fully present with them. Like that doesn't allow for life. But or like that you're the emotional human range that you're going to have when you are discouraged, or when you're just tired of doing the same thing. Because here's the thing, extraordinary results happen by doing the ordinary things with extraordinary consistency. What does that mean? If you want to do big things in your life, get ready to do the small details over and over and over and over and over? Right gets what makes athletes great, great athletes, do more drills, they do more technique work, they do more of a little stuff. And that's what makes them great. But so many people are like, Well, that sounds hard. That sounds boring. But you know, it's not boring or hard, epic success that comes from just doing the little things. And that's why that's why it's helpful to have other people that are like you doing the little things doing the mindset work, doing the affirmation work doing the the the scary work of going and put yourself out there and saying, I'm going to be courageous with my life, I'm going to go try new things. So it's the unrealistic expectation is not is when you beat yourself up, because you're like, ah, it didn't go how I want it. No, it's not supposed to always go how you want it, you're supposed to learn from the failure that was part of the step to success, our failures, our side steps are actually stepping stones on the path to success. Now, the final thing I wanted to share with you of our list of 12 that is that you're potentially doing that's making things harder, is that you're not taking care of yourself. If you're not taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually, it's gonna be really difficult to accomplish anything else in life, you got to make sure you take care of your body in your mind, eating healthy exercising, spending time with God getting enough sleep during your routines, because once you take care of yourself, everything else falls into place. This is the core of what we start in the COC making sure your habits and your consistency and your follow through are there when you start showing up for yourself in this way, you can then start showing up for your life in bigger ways. So one of the ways I wanted to before we close today, I want to one of the things that to help you break these patterns to stop being so tough on yourself, Sutton making things harder than they need to be is to identify which pitfalls which pitfall patterns, you're allowing to be on autopilot in your life, we fall into those, those 12 categories, the taking things too seriously, not taking care of ourselves, all the things I just listed out, because we allow the the emotional atmosphere of our of our brain to be negative to be that of comparison, to be guilt based, to be self critical to be pressured to be impatient, to be to indulge in the uncertainty and, and fear. And when you have a negative emotion being the leading emotion in your in your internal GPS, you're going to create negative results. And so it's start it's time to start identifying what beliefs you're ready to question. And identify the belief that some of the beliefs that I see trip people up is it's thoughts like this, it's always going to be hard. Or what's the point? Or if I can everyone else have it? This one I know this trips, a lot of people up. Everyone else has this figured out? Why can't I
or I need to earn a break. Or I can't. I can't change because I keep trying to and it's not working. It's this like very fixed mindset that we get into. And I just want to I want to invite you to start questioning what is actually holding you back what is making you can continue to spiral in making it harder to change than it needs to be. Yes, change is hard. But also change can be instantaneous because your life can change with a new thought. My clients tell me that all the time. They're like when you one of the things I do in my coaching is I work with linguistics, right? That's my background. And so when I work with you, whether it's one on one or in the college confidence, we tap into the power of your mind by accessing new vocabulary in your brain and teaching you how to use a different way to describe the same thing, how that will change the entire outcome of how you think about it, how you approach it, how you navigate it, and how you like boss it. And it's crazy, and I just had a client today this morning tell me that she's still mind blown about a sentence that we changed and the way she was thinking. One word we changed in her thought process about a specific thing at her workplace. One word two years ago has changed everything. She is now making $100,000 more than she was then. Her life is more beautiful. She has more ease she is she is living her dream. And we're spending Our time now thinking even bigger for her. But she I highlight this because it's all in we can create now accessing and fully stepping into the fullness of the change that sometimes takes time. But you can also change with one thought. And then the real change the real transformation, the metamorphosis really begins. And so sometimes we make things, we're keeping yourself stuck, and we're making it harder than it needs to be whatever it is simply because we think well change is really hard. I've tried this before, or you've tried it in the past, but you maybe haven't had any in the corner and past. Or maybe you've tried in the past, but you only had some belief that it could really work. What if you came to a place where you approached it in totally what you're willing to believe it really sets the the limit and the ceiling of what you actually can achieve. So I want to share with you these power thoughts to help you tap into ease of success in your life. Just a couple, I got a couple of new power thoughts. And I've got a couple questions that are a reframe, about how you're thinking what in general, I was thinking about my clients who struggle with making things harder than they need to be. So a couple of things you want to reframe. First, you got to reframe how you're thinking about the speed and the rate of your progress. You know, what forward is a pace, the pace you're going out right now is a good pace, it's the right pace. We've got to stop judging ourselves for where we are in life and where our paces because that is so stuck in the past. Stop telling me about your past and start telling you about your future, how you're going to show up today, the work you're going to do to to have an attitude on purpose. When you choose your attitude on purpose, you create purpose with your life. Also reframe your success in comparison to others, we really trip ourselves up and make things harder than it needed to be with this crazy comparison. You need to live your life, you're held accountable for your life, stop worrying about what somebody else is doing with their life. And then finally, the discipline of doing things well over and over, you might be saying to yourself, Well, I'm just not a very consistent person, or I struggle with consistency, that is not a healthy narrative to have, it's not gonna help you be consistent. If you think you want to be more consistent and doing the little things, maybe tracking your food or getting your step count, or doing something brave in your business every day. I need you to start thinking about the future self, your 2.0 version of you and remind yourself that you aren't good at doing things over and over, that you have daily discipline, and that you have the power to continue doing that because I'm pretty sure you probably brushed your teeth today. That tells me you're good at doing a habit that's kind of boring. Consistently, we're gonna start looking at where we are winning, and where because if we can do it in one area of our life, we can do it in any area of our life. So here's some new thoughts to try on some power thoughts.
I achieve things with ease. This is easier than I think it is. Confidence is my super fuel. Everything's working I'm on my way. I love that when everything's working, I'm on my way
I'm supposed to struggle and supposed to mess up. That's how I learn and grow. This is what is supposed to be happening. This is good. I am where I need to be. And I am on my way to where I want to go. I am where I need to be. And I am on my way to where I want to go. Now a couple questions if you really want to work on making things easier for yourself this you're having more confidence in how you approach your life your changes your goals, your desires, your breaking patterns, or this how can I make this easier? Now I already mentioned that one earlier too. What if this was simple? What can I tell the little me here so what can I tell a little Trish here? I like to think about my seven year old me my seven year old or 10 year old me what would I tell little Trish here encouraging thing when I tell her this is a question I really liked that I asked myself on the days where I'm feeling down when feeling self doubting or just exhausted or hormonal? How can I choose a more powerful attitude? How can I choose a more powerful attitude today? And then also, I really like to ask myself, What do I want to feel here? What do I want to feel here? Today as I sit and do this thing like what do I want to feel Do I want to feel optimistic? Do I want to feel empowered to I want to feel hopeful? Do I want to feel inspired? And what thought will create that feeling? What thought do I need to think that will create will create that feeling? I also use that question for when I'm doing my productive pauses when I'm in my moments of margin. When I'm with my family, I asked myself, What do I want to feel here? I want to feel present and calm and engaged. Okay, what thoughts do I need to create think on purpose? Well, that will create that feeling because remember our thoughts create our feelings, our thoughts, create our feelings, our feelings, create our actions. In the College competence, we call this the the T technique, te a thoughts, emotions, actions, that's one of the techniques we teach that is just so so powerful to us. But when I want to be present with my family, but I have a million other things that are potentially distracting in my business or things on my to do list, the thought is sometimes be here now. Or something that's my power thought is, I love being a mom. And that makes all the other two dues quiet. And I get to be present engaged, and I am I get to feel connected. Sometimes I want to feel connected, when I have that free time. So I think what thoughts will help me feel create that feeling so I don't get distracted and pulled into busyness and productivity. So it's Game Changing to ask yourself the right questions. Remember this, the quality of the questions that you're willing to ask yourself, will change the quality of the way you live your life. I will hope I really, really, really, really, really hope I will see you on on on the 29th for our our live coaching session. Again, it's $97 is the best $97 You can spend on yourself, it's $97 that will carry you through the entire year, it will have impact on your entire year. Get your spot today at Trish blackwell.com forward slash 2023. And then I want to remind you that January 8, the price of the college or competence is going up so if you're on the fence, stop being on the fence, jump off plunge in. Because if you sign up after January 8, the price will be more it is not ever going to go back down. But when you enroll a college competence at their whatever rate you enroll at, that is the rate you get to keep as long as you stay a member. So if you're really excited to explore what potential you have to expand the possibilities within you of what's available to you in this coming year. If you want to say I'm ready to become a boulder me in 2023 Join the College of competence today get in before our price increases, go to college confidence.com. To get started, just this month alone, we got we got some amazing workshop coming on we've got a workshop on personal potential, how to know what's within you. I'm going to do a workshop and a coaching session. Again, all of these come with workbooks and I walk you through when we do the work together on impact potential. How to know what difference you can make with your life, free time potential, how to create more free time and more time margin in your life, change potential. How to believe really believe in the changes you want to make in your life that you can transform that you can change, you can create a life. That's epic income potential, how to expand your financial possibilities, how to make more money, how to have more money, and then adventure potential, which is how to live a life that fires you up each one of those full hour. We're activating massive change this year, don't miss out you have to be part of the COC. It's where all the changes happening. Hey, I'll see you there. I love you. I'm so happy and so grateful that you allow me to be a voice of encouragement your life. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being with me this year, and I will see you next year. Go out there today go be more of who God created you to be. Be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of The confidence podcast, I invite you to check out the College of confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet, and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee. Hey, joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com You
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