Podcast #525

 

HOW TO BE NICE TO YOURSELF INSTEAD OF HARD ON YOURSELF

Do you often find yourself putting undue pressure on yourself to achieve more, accomplish goals faster, and be perfect? If so, it’s time to start being nicer to yourself. As high-achieving women entrepreneurs, there comes a point when we have to come face-to-face with our own self-imposed limitations and challenge those self-defeating beliefs by exhibiting some much-needed kindness towards ourselves. It’s difficult but essential if we want to truly live up to the highest potential of who we are capable of becoming. In this podcast, I am going to provide tips for how you can become better at being nice – not only for your own well-being but also as paths that will lead us closer to fulfilling our ambitions.

In this week’s episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re chatting about:

• How to Stop Beating Yourself Up
• Shifting from Doubting Yourself / Dumbing Down Your Potential to Believing in Yourself
• Seeing Yourself as You Would Your Best Friend

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Great Thought Work

-Jacyln-C

 I found your podcast while trying to gain confidence learning to play golf.  Now I listen often because you help me see ways I can improve my life in every aspect including my affect on others. Thank you. 

HOW TO STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP

Join us for our Stop Beating Yourself Up Workshop

You have to be a member of the COC to get access.

If this is something you struggle with, it’s worth you getting access to this coaching.

It could very well be what changes the entire narrative of how you talk to yourself the rest of your life – and your ability to break the patterns of self-criticism and self-disappointment. 

Join at www.collegeofconfidence.com

We’re coaching live – with real life scenarios – on how to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion on Wednesday 12/21 … now is the time to get in. 

SHIFTING FROM DOUBTING ONESELF TO BELIEVING IN ONESELF

• Stop being afraid to take risks.
• Have the courage to be committed.
• Believe in the life you are creating not the life you have now. 

 

1.  Get to Know Yourself

The first step to stop doubting yourself is to get to know yourself. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you like and don’t like? What makes you happy and what makes you sad? The more you know about yourself, the easier it will be to accept yourself for who you are.

 

2.  Be mindful of your thoughts

Be aware of the thoughts that go through your head on a daily basis. Are they positive or negative? Do they make you feel good or bad about yourself? If you find that you’re having a lot of negative thoughts, try to replace them with positive ones.

 

3.  Don’t compare yourself to others

One of the main reasons people doubt themselves is because they compare themselves to others. But the truth is, everyone is unique and has their own set of skills and talents. So instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own unique qualities and what makes you special.

 

4.  Practice self-compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and compassion that you would show to a good friend. If you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, learn from it and move on.

 

5. Surround yourself with supportive people

Surround yourself with people who believe in you and who will support you on your journey. These people will help to boost your confidence and remind you of your worth when self-doubt starts to creep in.

6. Don’t make the doubt a problem

Doubt is part of the human experience – it’s not a problem unless you make it one. 

7. Imagine simply saying “no thank you” to fear.

Doubt is part of the human experience – it’s not a problem unless you make it one. 

God is with me and He guides me, I will not have fear. 

I will refuse it when it’s offered to me at the table – like potatoes, no thank you.

BUILD BELIEF ON PURPOSE:

We build belief by taking risks.

We create belief by showing ourselves that we’re capable.

We scale belief by tapping into our braveness – and self-identifying as courageous

Make courage your go-to decision, and do things that you are afraid to do.

The more you do this, the more you are training your mind to be BOLD by default. Boldness becomes you. Boldness is what you do.. 

Rule your mind or it will rule you.” – Horace

“Often, in the real world, it’s not the smart who get ahead, it’s the bold.” -Robert Kiyosaki 

“Fortune favors the bold.” – Virgil 

Freedom lies in being bold. -Robert Frost 

People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. -Leonardo Da Vinci

 EPISODE SPONSOR:

This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/confidencepod and get on your way to being your best self.

Sometimes I wish I just had an owner manual for life – and for parenting – but unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a user manual. So when it’s not working for you, it’s normal to feel stuck. Therapy can help you get unstuck. BetterHelp has connected over 3 million people with licensed therapists. It’s convenient, secure, and accessible anywhere — 100% online. The combination of therapy and coaching was life-changing for me, as you probably have read about in my latest book, Straighten Your Crown. Finding the right therapist and getting started can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t need to. With Betterhelp, just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with a therapist. If things aren’t clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist anytime. It couldn’t be simpler. No waiting rooms. No traffic. No endless searching for the right therapist. 

Get unstuck, with BetterHelp. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at Better Help dot com slash confidencepod. That’s better HELP—H – E – L – P—dot com slash confidencepod.

SEEING & BEING YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

Think about your best friend.

Think about Firefly Lane – Tully and Kate.

Think about how you cheer on those you love.

You know how to do this.

Practice turning it on yourself.

Now – why do we get distracted from doing this?

Comparison.

We lean into worrying about not being enough.

We spend our energy looking at what other people have instead of enjoying what we have been given.

The Parable of the Talents gives me tremendous peace. 

What would happen if you just did your best with what has been given to you.

I’m talking total ownership of your life.

Matthew 25:23, NIV

His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share in your master’s happiness!” 

Practical Tips:

Get to know yourself.

Celebrate the weird stuff you love.

Have fun with yourself – do things you love and that make you come alive.

Practice indulgent self-care.

Buy yourself gifts.

Build yourself up with words of encouragement.

Talk to yourself and remind yourself of who you are.

Take adventures with yourself (in your mind – with your idea of what you can do in the future)

BELIEVE IN THE LIFE YOU ARE CREATING, NOT THE LIFE YOU HAVE NOW.

RECOMMENDED EPISODES:

#517: Permission for Happiness

#501: Feeling Better About Yourself When You’re Self-Critical 

#424: How to Think Like a Happy Person

#430: How to Make a Good Life a Great Life

#483: Self-Validation – The Art of Not Needing Others to Tell You “Good Job”