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You're listening to the confidence podcast, your favorite coaching podcast oozing with motivation, inspiration, and confidence to help you boldly take action on your dreams. I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized Confidence Coach, Best Selling Author and founder of the College of Confidence, the most encouraging place on the internet. I teach go getters in life, how to take your thoughts captive, how to step out of the shadows of self doubt, and how to courageously step into their purpose. With competence. It's time to pump our competence muscles and train our thoughts, y'all. Let's get started. Hey, guys, it's Trish Blackwell, and you're listening to the confidence podcast. We're in Episode 524. And today, we're talking about delayed gratification and why it's important how to become someone who is good at delayed gratification, how what delayed gratification does and how it empowers you and how you can practice it. But even better, my favorite thing is what I'm going to share with you at the end of today's episode, which are affirmations for delayed gratification, you know that I really believe in the power of, well, power phrases, power sentences, affirmations, declarations, whatever you want to say they are power words, because your words frame your world, your words, create your whole life, the words that you speak over yourself about yourself, overview over your future, about your future, over your possibilities over your capabilities, and about yourself. They determine how you show up and they determine what grows, they determine what you believe, because remember, a belief is simply a thought that we have repeated over and over until it is true till it feels true until we believe it. So this is an episode that was requested by quite a number of my college competence members. They mentioned that they haven't seen any. Well, we haven't ever done a podcast on this. And there is so much correlation between success and the ability to delay your gratification. And we're we're really prepping for the new year. This is if you're listening live when I release these, this is beginning of December. And we're a month away less than a month away from the start of a new year from 2023 If you're listening in current time, and there's so much work to be done, about what you want to achieve, and how you're going to do it. And the biggest thing we talked about it last episode 523 on how to believe without purpose with perseverance without giving up when the going gets tough when you are discouraged when things get hard. When you hit a sticking point when you make a decision that you you regret how to use regret in a way to motivate yourself to take to double down on your action. But part of the formula of success, whether it's weight loss, success, financial success, entrepreneurial success, success in a relationship success in the ability to stay focused right without saying oh, I just can't focus like really dialing in to say how can I be the most successful version of myself possible? How can I use absolutely every gift that God has breathed into the fiber of my being to the fullest? And today's topic is that being somebody who has mastered the art of delayed gratification, it's an art guys. And so without before we dive into the coaching I love sharing your review of the week you guys your reviews mean the world to me they are what helps grow the episodes and the podcasts and reach more people and if you have at all ever been encouraged by an episode. The best way you can thank me is just reading a one sentence review. It means the world and it helps us reach more people. So thank you in advance. And Jenny Barnes said this. I started listening to Trish when I needed to feel more confident in myself. She's helped boost my confidence and keeps me motivated. I love how sweet she is and how in tuned she is to her podcasts. I love that it's based around God and her spirits just make me happy. Thanks so much Trish. I love your podcasts. Jenny. I love you. I wish we were in the same town. I think we would be friends. I just appreciate your feedback and your encouragement. I'm happy that you're part of the podcast family. So we're gonna dive into the coaching I just have one small announcement. One super quick announcement. It's super important. The college confidence if you've been on the fence, this is your last month to be on the fence why? New Year New rate so currently, we are the most affordable and we're still going to be the most affordable we are so massively underpriced compared to people who offer similar services. But that is on purpose. By design, I am committed to provide to providing in depth high level educational for your mind, your spirit, and your and your ability to think your thought life and your ability to show up as the highest version of yourself that is online life coaching for the lowest rate possible. And that is that education is $67 a month, this is the last month to get access to the College of Confidence and to lock in that rate starting in January, if you joined the COC or if you have been a member of the COC and wanted to come back, you got to come back in the new rate unless in the new rate will be $97. It's still massively more affordable than anything else out there. And still, you will get I promise you when you join, you get 10 times the value of what you pay, we are that committed that it is not only the most encouraging place on the internet, but the most in depth and robust for resources and tools and life coaching and support and training and strategy and everything you need to take your life and your thought life and therefore your life to the next level. But January starts from your price. When you join this month, you get to keep that rate as long as you don't cancel. So sign up now, sign up now lock in this lowest rate at College of confidence.com. Now, let's talk about delayed gratification. What is it? Why is it so important? Well, for years, scientists have been studying the benefits of practicing delayed gratification, the findings have consistently shown that those who delay gratification tend to be more successful, both professionally and personally. So this is like a magic skill. And when you practice it, you get better. You know, you've heard the there's this famous marshmallow test. And they followed kids who could wait, if you wait a certain amount of time you get you there, they either have a marshmallow or if they wait a few minutes, they could have two and they've studied and follow these children and the children who had the ability to delay the marshmallows and to wait for the second one. To know that the reward of waiting delaying the gratification would double the down. And, and benefit the more those children end up being more successful long term in life. It's extraordinary. What it takes to focus the mind to say I don't need the instant gratification. But guys, we live in a world and culture that says that. Well, I mean, I gotta be honest, I put my grocery order in today. And when it took more than two hours to arrive at my door, I was a little bit like hold on what's happening. I got to I got a text alert that said my there was a delay to my order. And it was a an hour behind. And that was like oh, you know, okay, so you know not we're not even just doing Amazon Prime. You know, same day I'm talking ordering my groceries and wondering why they're not here two hours later, y'all we are spoiled. We live in this crazy, crazy culture, have instant access to everything. Except the things that matter the most like our dreams and our goals and our progress. And so if you want to be the most developed, and in tuned version of yourself the highest version of the most expressed version of potential if you want to steward the talents that God has given you to the fullest, we must mature in our ability to delay gratification and our wisdom to wait in our ability to appreciate that our groceries can come quickly appreciate that our Amazon order comes quickly that our our Door Dash arrives just as quickly all the things that we don't have to watch commercials anymore, we just stream all that's great. But on the things that matter on our self discipline, our willpower emotional intelligence, our our efforts to make a difference in the world to to move a

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cause for it to fight for something that matters to us to believe in a goal that we're working on for ourselves to invest in a relationship, all of those things, the payoff comes in the process. Now the destination is what we want to work to. And of course that that feels amazing whether the delayed gratification is for a month, a week, a year 10 years. If you perhaps you're doing his debt snowball, and you're you've $200,000 worth of debt, that's maybe not going to get paid off in a year. That might take 10 years or five depends upon how Gizelle intense you want to be. But the delay of it the actual getting yourself to zero in your all of your balances is the victory but you will experience victory in the process. When the first 25% gets paid off. And then the 50% the lightness that you will experience as the debt that burdens your heart gets paid off, will still be victorious and be fulfilling as you go. So even though we're saying saying, we are becoming people who have the maturity and the mental focus to delay gratification. That's a very confident expression of your ability to manage your thoughts, the delayed gratification, knowing what matters to you. And being willing to keep going until you get it does not mean that you don't get gratification has satisfaction in the process. So there is a delight and an enjoyment to the process, even though we're delaying the ultimate gratification of the culmination of that goal. So please don't think it's just drudgery and so hard the whole way there. Sometimes that will be that but it's knowing that what you're waiting for is more important and more satisfying than what the temporary, momentary high that would grow that would feel good in a moment would be because that's so transitory that so passing. So delayed gratification, is the ability to resist temptation, especially when it would lead to pleasure in the short term, but pain or negative consequences in the long term. I want you to think about this as a skill. And a key indicator of it's, it's expressed in self discipline, and willpower and emotional intelligence and why delayed gratification is important is that it will help you achieve your goals. It can make you more successful, it can improve your relationships. And it can make you happier in the long run. Because I get so many people that when they asked me what I do for a living, or they start coaching with me, or they decide they want to start their own coaching business, and they go, So how long did it take you to get where you're at today? Right? We've had almost 5 million downloads to this podcast Trish, like, when did it really pick up? Right? Or how long did it get for you to be successful? A one. I was successful the day I decided to start? And so are you. Whatever your goal is, whether it's weight loss, paying off debt, growing a business, changing your life? I don't want you to think in terms of like, quantify Well, how long will it take for me to be successful? The start of your success is the decision that you started, that you've started, and that you won't stop until you arrive. That's the decision that has changed you into a place of success. That is your arrival to success. And then the rest of it, the acting it out is the maturation of that success. So it's as if set success isn't something that can be quantified in years or months. And so I'm flattered by the compliment of somebody thinking that, Well, how'd you get there, like because it wasn't a direct line. And delayed gratification is that sometimes it's a direct path. Sometimes it's a wiggly one. There's always bumps in the road. There's always detours along the way and lessons to be learned the hard way, and the easy way. But one thing I've learned over time is that practicing delayed gratification, or patients has the biggest return on investment. The Gretton and I really started learning for this for myself. And at a young age, in the sport of swimming, the sport of swimming is a sport where you train for hours and hours and hours a day, with your head underwater, kind of by yourself, right? Can't talk to people, when your head's underwater, you work really hard, you're in a lot of pain, all do have a couple of meats throughout the season, where you raise for about a minute. That's delayed gratification. It's the willingness to put on put in the work, believing in the process, believing that even though you don't have quote unquote, proof that the work you're doing will pay off, you believe it will. And that is what goals. That's the difference of people who who achieve their goals and people who don't, because the reality is that most people don't achieve the goals on their hearts, the goals that they were made for the potential that God put them on Earth to go live out and walk out in the difference that they were created to make. Because they give up right before the breakthrough. We give up so easily because we think it should we think, well, it should have happened by now. Or I shouldn't have to be this patient or a cloth and we give up because we're like, I don't think it should be that hard. Life is hard. doing new things is hard. Achieving things that don't come naturally or that that are beyond what most people do is going to require some perseverance. And it gets delayed gratification in terms of achieving your goals. It's not about working harder, necessarily, but working smarter, working with a focus that you can be proud of yourself. You have the gratification and the day that you showed up that you showed up both physically and in the belief that your effort will pay off at your effort goes into this invisible compound of bank where it all adds up and you get to pull from it later. So you put the hard work in now so you can reap the rewards late rewards later. So the gratification of the discipline The planning is incredible. Delayed gratification, also fosters better relationships. Because when you learn how to wait for what you want, instead of constantly asking for things up front, it can often lead to longer lasting and more meaningful relationships. Delayed gratification, really what I love about it is it teaches self control, self control, to remember what matters to you. It's self control, to remember why it matters to you. It's self control, and believing in what you cannot yet see. And then still showing up in your control. You're not giving into every impulse, whether this food, this is drink or dating, maybe you're just, maybe you're dating a bunch of people that you know, are not your person. But you're tired of waiting for somebody that is truly the person you've been praying for. You want the gratification of not feeling lonely, and you settle in a relationship. That's right. And you know, isn't right, or it's the impulsive, wanting just Gosh, I'm just kind of want something sweet. But you also want to lose weight. But which one? Do you want more? When it comes, when push comes to shove, you got to ask yourself, which do I want more? When I'm making a decision? Do I say oh, do I give to the impulse and the quote unquote, temptation? Or do I? Do I show up and do this now you ask yourself and you move forward based on what will my tomorrow version of me, thank me for choosing today. Now my clients brought this up and requested this topic. Because we were we were digging into delayed gratification when it comes to doing the discipline of work of building a business of staying on task of not letting your ad you know, your add brain go haywire of, of how to show up for your to do list and get it done. No matter how if you feel like it or not delayed gratification is doing the work whether or not you feel like it, it's showing up in saying it's my job to motivate myself. It's my job to create enthusiasm, I will be a person who creates enthusiasm in their life, whether I quote unquote feel like it or not, because I'm gonna do the work. Because here's the thing to bring enthusiasm and consistency everyday is a choice that you have to make for yourself. It's this ability to be a self starter, the ability to pull energy, and grit within yourself at will. Now the way you're able to do that is because you believe that it will pay off you believe in what you're working towards you believe that it matters, you believe that, that you're going to be your future self will thank your current self for saying, I'm gonna stay focused, I'm gonna stay disciplined, right? I wanna I want to feel good that I showed up, I'm going to delay the gratification a little bit. And what I love speaking of well, what are we talking about here, confidence, delayed gratification boosts confidence, the ability to overcome temptations, and to stay focused on your goals builds self confidence over time, because it's invaluable. It tells you that you are somebody who does what you say you're going to do, whether you feel like it or not, you might be tempted to just

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turn on Netflix, but instead you stay focused because the delayed gratification of wanting to create an income in your business means you got to show up and do the unsexy boring things. Now, it's easy to get distracted from those, but you have the vision and you know there are other people can make the make money in a business like you want, like you want to, if they can do it, you can do it. You say to yourself, people like me do things like that. And therefore I know I really want to watch that thing on top, top 10 on Netflix, but I will delay the gratification of it. I'm going to show up for the two hours of office hours I told myself I would do I'm going to figure out this SEO, I'm going to figure out the this Google Ad sequence I'm trying to do, I will do the work. Because the long term gratification of being a being a person who has created my own business means more to me than watching the Netflix show that is also available in two hours from now. And when you do that, when you say no to the temptation, when you delay your gratification, you feel like a boss. And this is I'm using a work example but when you say no to the cookie and say you know if I still want the cookie an hour, I'll give myself permission if I want the cookie. Now I'm going to want it tomorrow. So hey, I told myself no sweets today tomorrow is when I have a sweet you when you start talking back to yourself and your parent yourself in your brain the the delay of of the the return on investment is so so, so tremendous. So I want a couple of things that are going to help guide you you're in delayed gratification. You got to know what you want and know what you're working towards. So have a vision work the vision daily. Believe in your final destination commit to the work and be proud of yourself. We're doing all of this in the entire month of the college competence of December we have a whole course on, on on improving the quality of your thoughts because when you improve the quality of your thoughts you change the quality of your vision and your ability to believe in the vision But we're teasing out vision, we're figuring out what is it that I want? How do I know? How bad do I want it? Why do I want it? And how can I set it the plan to go for it. So the 2023 is the best year of my life. To delay gratification, guys, you've also got to cheer yourself on, you won't meet it mean as much instant set of satisfaction. If and gratification if you can learn to reward yourself with internal self encouragement, we have a lot of episodes on self encouragement, I'm gonna encourage you to go back and learn how to do that on self affirming. I'll mention a couple of episodes at the end of the episode here today. So you can go right to them. When you're done listening, you'll, you'll feel like you're on your way if your inner narrative highlights and focuses that you are. That is why in the college confidence for our members, we create a space every month where you can share your champagne moments, your wins this belief and this inner narrative that you get to express out loud to me and to other members that, hey, I'm on my way, I may not be all the way there yet, but I have some highlights, and some micro wins that give me the evidence that I am on my way. So when you see that you're on your way, you believe even more in the in the that, that that bigger goal, that delayed gratification, but you feel gratified and satisfied, and alive and invigorated. Because you see the progress to the delayed gratification isn't this, it's not hard, right. And when you can cheer yourself on because hard work and doing the boring things becomes easier when you have a positive attitude about it. And the optimistic perspective about it will always pay off. Another thing to know know your triggers one of the best ways to avoid succumbing to the temptation, or wanting it to be easier and believing the narrative that your brain sometimes tries to convince you that it should be is to know your triggers. And a trigger could be anything that makes you want to give into your impulses. And it might be an impulse for food and impulse for drink and impulse for Netflix or an impulse compare yourself your impulse and your trigger might be seeing somebody else who has a similar business to yours or similar idea, the to yours on on on Instagram and then comparing and then you feel like you're behind and that it should be easier. And people like them more than they like you and then you feel bad for it. And then you stop posting. Right. If you know your triggers, you can avoid them or at least be aware of them. So you can know how to better resist temptation, and and climb over that hurdle and that obstacle, have a plan. Know what when you are going to be triggered what you're going to do decide ahead of time how to make good decisions, even down to Hey, when I'm when I when certain hours of the day, really the last around three o'clock to four o'clock I start losing focus. I started thinking about I don't know cleaning my kitchen, or right now because it's Christmas. I'm like maybe I should break instead of recording the podcast, maybe I should wrap some presents since the kids aren't around. And instead, I was like, No, this is my hour to do this. So I knew already I was probably going to come up with excuses. I know my brain, I know what my brain does. And so know when you know when and where you would typically make an excuse. So if it's a food issue, if you're working on over eating well, Rich's really under feeling, have a plan before you go to the holiday party. And know, decide ahead of time how you will react when you go. When you here's that for me, that's the trigger. I watch where my brain goes. It doesn't really matter, which is a lie. It does matter. Your brain, right? You think about the motivational triad, we're always trying and the motivational triad is to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy, we're always our brain is always going to be selling us on all the ways to take shortcuts. But that's the primitive brain, you will have a pre prefrontal cortex, you have a powerful brain, we don't want to rely on the default brain we want to live in the determined and powerful brain. So get excited about the boring things keep being patient. So I know what you want to do when you want to resist temptation. And sometimes that's going to be finding a replacement activity, or, or going and doing a power journaling. But really what I want you to do is I want you to decide to become somebody who is emotionally mature. Because delayed gratification is a mature perspective. And you're not going to master it right out of the way. This is something we practice. This is the art of delayed gratification. And sometimes it's gonna go easy and flow and sometimes it can be a struggle. But every time you make intentional effort towards delayed gratification, I want you to be proud of yourself. I want you to be mindful. I want you to practice mindfulness actually, about being present in the moment and being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Remember this when you criticize, we go into a place of of cluttered thinking self criticism leads to stagnancy. But curiosity opens us criticism closes us off to ourselves, curiosity opens us up. And so when you want to give up, when you don't, when you want to eat the cookie, or you go on, I really don't want to work on my business. Or you think today, it doesn't matter. I'll start tomorrow, your brain offers you the normal kind of sleazy salesman stuff of trying to convince you Oh, it doesn't matter, don't put your effort into one time doesn't want you to go back and go, Hmm, I wonder why my brain is doing that. Versus, oh, I can't believe this is hard. I'm judging myself. Just be curious. And talk back to it. And be present, and writing. Write down your goal and remind yourself in the moment of what matters to you, and why on who you are becoming. I want you to believe in the breakthrough. I want you to refuse to compare yourself, I want you to stay in your own lane of light lane of life. And for me, what motivates me with in terms of how do I say people often say, church? How do you stay so focused? And then here's my answer. And I want this is my challenge to be able to answer? What did you do with what I gave you? I really believe for me, I believe the end of my life, when I stand before God, he's going to ask me, what did you do with what I gave you, daughter? What did you do with what I gave you? How did you steward it? How did you grow it? What did you do with the gift of the of your personality and your enthusiasm? What did you do with the resources and tools and ideas? How did you show up in life? What did you do with the love that I gave it? What did you do with the extra finances? I gave? Did you did you let it overflow real generous? Were you beyond generous? Like I want to be able to answer that I was thankful in my small things. And faithfulness requires maturity, and it requires curiosity, and not that non criticism, I'm going to find areas where I'm like, Oh, I can I can store this better I can, I can care for this and nurture this better. And there's gonna be areas of my life and your life where you can see, wow, I'm really good at delaying gratification here. How can I translate and transfer those skills here? Because if you have evidence, you can do it one place, you can do it the other most of the time we go well, I don't know why I can't do it over here. That's not a helpful way to think about it. Instead, be be encouraging and go if I can do it in one area. I have the skills to do it anywhere. I'm going to double down, because I want to be able to answer that I steward I stewarded and that's hard to say for me.

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I stewarded and cared for well, that which I was entrusted. I invested my skills, I invested my life, I decided to take my life and do something with it. And I want you to believe in the breakthrough. Don't be that guy, that guy who gives up right? That guy, that girl who gives up right before the break through, talk back to every short sighted thought because that's what that's what derails us from delayed gratification. That's what makes us give up on our goals. That's what makes a spiral and self pity. I want you to talk back start talking back and having finishing the conversation with every short sighted thought every self-pity thought or narrative that says it should be easier or you should be further along or it doesn't matter. Surround yourself only with people who think intentionally and on purpose to and who are interested in maximizing their lives to the fullest. That is where growth is going to come from that is where breakthrough is. And by the way if you're like where do I find those people Trish college competence, college competence, calm I promise, we are the most encouraging community on the internet and you will find yourself that it's so different when you are you know you're not the only one doing this work. I want to close out with these affirmations I promised you here are some affirmations for delayed gratification. I've got a couple here this is not an exhaustive list. Please come up with some on your own we're going to be doing a lot of work in the college competence on expanding these this list of affirmations we have a delayed gratification workshop that we're gonna be coming up where we're going live for an hour with a workbook and taking that what what I do here on the podcast, this is just the tip of the iceberg. We are just scratching the surface. I go way deeper, and way more what's the word would be integral integrate into gradable into your life we take it in really apply it to your life, your scenario, your circumstances. We go deep we go deep but and we'll be doing more of that in the COC. But to start you guys off here, here are some affirmations for delayed gratification. You can find these in the show notes on my website at Trish blackwell.com forward slash to four I'm

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good at waiting. I am good at waiting. I believe it's working all of my effort adds up you can even add that to that. My effort always adds up and always matters.

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Another thing I often say to myself is There's no such thing as wasted effort. The compound effect is working for me. There's no such thing as wasted effort. I am maturing emotionally, and expanding my faith every day. I believe in what I cannot yet see ahead of me. I love this simple one. I'm on my way. I'm on my way. I'm on my way. Everything is working. I love the long payoff, and I'm proud of my perseverance in the process. I'm proud of my perseverance in the process. I love this one, I can keep going. I can keep going. What I'm working towards is worth the weight. I like this one, I'm good at doing boring things. And I won't stop. I won't give up. And then finally, I am faithful in the little things and therefore I can be trusted to be faithful in the big things. You can also just say I'm going to keep on keepin on. In the past I took breaks and on break anymore. I don't stop. I just keep on keeping on New day, new belief, New day, new effort, New day, new enthusiasm. I want you to remind I want you to know that it's okay to get a little tired sometimes. It's okay for you to waver back and forth between belief and self doubt. That's normal. That doesn't mean you're not competent enough. It just means you're tired means you have a human brain. It's but what are you going to do? When the doubt feels loud when it's screaming? How do you talk back to it? How do you reaffirm and remind yourself, hey, brain, all the feelings we can do all the things but we're still going to keep going. We're not stopping not giving up. This will work this pay will pay off my vision and my faith to act out and walk out the vision matters. Because remember this all growth feels like a leap in the dark. It's okay to go scared you should be going scared. Hey, I'm going to close out instead of our listener episode, I'm gonna give you these recommended podcast episodes that I believe if today's episode resonated with you, you are going to want to listen to right now. So first off episode 454 The courage to believe in possibilities. And then episode 457 Giving yourself approval. Right we talked about how to cheer yourself on as being a great tool to help giving yourself approval episode 476 How to believe in your big goal. And then episode 508 staying confident when nothing is working. So that's episode 454 457-470-6508. The courage to believe in possibilities, getting yourself approval, how to believe in your big goal and staying confident when nothing is working. Those links are all in the show. Hey, happy December. Let's go. Let's go. Here's to a great December ahead. This is the start of the new year, all the work that you're doing now behind the scenes. When you have some time with your family. We are taking walks. Start your vision work now. And hopefully, you'll start working with me in the COC and we'll go even deeper on your vision work and on an implementing delayed gratification as a power tool for you as you go into this next year. Because I love you I'm so grateful that you allow me be a voice of encouragement in your life. Thank you for listening this week. Thank you for sharing with your family and your friends. Thank you for saying hi to me on Instagram sharing the show and your stories on Instagram. I'm Trish underscore Blackwell and I will see you guys next week. Make sure hit subscribe and follow and I'll see you there next Tuesday. Now go out there today go be more who God created you to be be you. Be free. If you loved today's episode of the Confidence podcast I invite you to check out the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com the COC is where your next step is. The COC is where your next step is. In the COC we cultivate confidence create courage and spark change. It takes everything we do here on the podcast to the next level and our members get crazy life changing results. I'm so confident that you will find that the COC is the most encouraging place on the internet and that it will so wildly exceed your expectations that it comes with a money back guarantee hate joining is completely risk free you owe it to your future self to take your growth to the next level by coaching with me in the COC. Join me today at www.collegeofconfidence.com