Podcast #508

 

STAYING CONFIDENT WHEN NOTHING IS WORKING

Life can feel massively unfair, and like everything is working against you. If you’ve found yourself ever feeling like nothing is working, or like things are happening for everyone but you, then this episode is for you. Learn how to reframe unfairness and stay confident when you feel discouraged or are losing faith. You’ll also get the top 10 new thoughts you can practice thinking that will help you curate belief for when you feel down or discouraged. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/508

 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re talking about: 

• Staying confident when nothing is working, and when life just feels massively unfair
• How to reframe unfairness in a way that allows you to embrace the duality of feeling good and not feeling good as simply part of life
• 10 thoughts to curate belief for when you feel down

 

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…

-Everyone else is getting pregnant, and you’re struggling with infertility.

-All of your friends are married and you don’t even have a boyfriend.

-Their business is taking off, and yours isn’t

-They got their dream job and you can’t get a second interview.

-Your best friend got into her dream school, and you’ve got 5 rejection letters.

-Your friend got a trust fund and a ridiculous starting salary and your parents have no connections

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

It’s not too late to join the Stress Less Challenge. 

Sign up at www.trishblackwell.com/stressless

Stress blocks happiness. 

It limits belief. 

It creates fertile soil for fear.

And that’s why I’m inviting you to learn how to radically reduce the stress you feel – even if your circumstances in life right now don’t immediately change.

The stress you feel is directly related to the thoughts you think, which means that we have more control over our stress levels than we think we do.

If you want to decrease your stress as we get ready for a new season of the year, you’ve got to take part in the STRESS LESS CHALLENGE, happening from August 15th – August 19th.

Sign up today at www.trishblackwell.com/stressless

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Amazing podcasts! Started with one and now I can’t stop! I love the positivity and life lessons you can learn from these! Highly recommended. 

 -MaurerAM

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH WHAT FEELS UNFAIR

Life isn’t fair.

Fair is a four-letter word in our family. 

Fair is not a useful concept.

However, much of the “unfairness” that happens in the world is not within our control. And if that’s the case, how productive is it to dwell on what’s fair and unfair?

Unfairness creates victimhood. Viewing yourself as a victim tends to keep you in the past and promotes a sense of powerlessness.

Maybe you wish you had a different family

Maybe you wish you had a different body

Maybe you wish you had a different brain

Maybe you wish you had a different personality

Maybe you wish you had a different struggle

I was stuck in unfairness for years – and as a result, I missed out on much of the sweetness and blessing that I did have. 

It felt unfair to come from a family with struggles.

It felt unfair to have to struggle with body image.

It felt unfair to be from a small town and have a dad who is a plumber.

It felt unfair to not be the girl the boys chased.

It felt unfair to not have a person to fall in love with until I was 30

It felt unfair to have someone squat on my property and make me lose thousands of dollars I didn’t have.

Everyone here is a victim of life’s unfairness. 

This life is so unfair that we are being brought to this life without our consent, and as well die without death asking for our permission before taking us away.

The moment you start thinking about why life is hard for you, that’s when you start being unfair to yourselves. Accept the fact that you can’t always be happy, winning, or not getting sick. Each of these makes you stronger when you overcome them.

The bittersweetness of life. 

-Life is GOOD and HARD.

-Fair and unfair.

-Just and unjust. 

-Beautiful and broken.

 

CONFIDENCE FOR WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THE MUCK

There’s a reason for everything.

The more I am dissatisfied with what I do have, the more will be taken from me. 

Negative thoughts and emotions inhibit positive change.

You must double-down on gratitude for what you have.

Gratitude takes what you have and makes it more than enough.

Why it’s an advantage:

It’s an opportunity to become a master of your mindset.

An expert at parenting your thoughts and training your brain.

It’s a massive emotional boot camp for emotional maturation you would have otherwise never had the such an accelerated opportunity for

It revs your purpose engine to do good in the world in a way that without a broken heart, you would have not otherwise felt as magnetically compelled to do. 

Allow yourself to feel your feelings and dare to be bold in your faith for goodness ahead and goodness to come. 

 

WAYS TO MOVE PAST UNFAIRNESS

Take deep breaths – and ask yourself how focusing on the disappointment helps.

Decide to not live in a spirit of victimhood.

Be aware of what you can and cannot control 

Monitor negative thoughts and turn them into positive emotions

Allow your brain to catastrophize – and then encourage yourself / affirm that you will be okay

 

THOUGHTS TO CURATE CONFIDENT BELIEFS

1. Everything is working.
2. I’m on my way. 
3. I’m becoming a radically alive version of myself and I’m creating a life I love each and every day with each and every little thought shift and intentional action I take.
4. I’m exactly where I need to be.
5. There’s beauty for me here.
6. This is where I need to be in order to go where I am going to grow.
7. I have no timeline because God’s timing is always better than my timing. 
8. Little by little, big things get done.
9. I love that I’m being stretched in my faith and ability to believe in what I cannot yet see. 
10. God’s plan for me is better than my plan for me. 

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE

I just wanted to send you an email to say thank you. I have recently joined the COC because I was getting a lot out of the podcast and I’m hungry for more. I also wanted to let you know how much your work has changed my life. 

I’ve been on the hunt for self-improvement resources for a long time. 

Later, I picked up your book, “Straighten Your Crown”, which led me to eventually pick up my Bible for the first time in months. I went from feeling lonely and far away from God to feeling like I could actually face my abusers and stand strong in what I know is true. Amazing things started to happen. 

Because of the confidence I gained through these things, and because you were literally speaking love and joy into my life, I began to shine. I got a huge promotion at work, and my passion (I’m a filmmaker) began to take off. While I’m by no means out of the woods yet, I finally feel as though I am able to face my fears. These abusive people have lost their power over me.

I have a lot of dreams and things that I never thought I would do, but because of your podcast I have finally realized that these are things that will be real, and will be real soon. Thank you for your encouragement and for being who you are. I can feel the Lord when I listen to your words. 

Thank you again, 

Rachel Adkins