Podcast #486

BEING HARD ON YOURSELF: IT DOESN’T WORK AND HOW TO STOP

Being hard on yourself might be the very thing keeping you stuck. We think that being hard on ourselves means that we are driven, or have high standards, but being too tough on yourself is an ineffective approach to any goal you have in life. Being hard on yourself increases stress, decreases results and is a mindset that is driven from self-doubt and insecurity. Learn 10 proven ways to break the pattern of being too hard on yourself, even if you have been hard on yourself your entire life.

 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re talking about:

• How to know if you’re too hard on yourself
• Why it doesn’t work, and what to do about it
• 10 ways to break the pattern of being too hard on yourself

 

AUDIOBOOK ANNOUNCEMENT:

You’ve waited and waited.
 
And it’s finally out.
 
Straighten Your Crown, on Audible!
 
Read by me, the author…
 
Click here to grab your copy.
 
If you loved reading the book, you’ll love listening to it even more.
 
Oh, and if have loved Straighten Your Crown, but not yet written an Amazon review, please click here to let me know in a review what you thought about the book or how it moved you! 
 

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Full of Value – Sara Dianns
 
Trish is so passionate and what she says makes sense. After listening you feel like you’ve just had a personal therapy session! Highly recommend.

 

CONFIDENCE COACHING ON BEING HARD ON YOURSELF

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF

I’m just hard on myself thoughts:

I’m not doing enough.
I should have done better.
I need to be better.
I am disappointed in myself.
I’ll never figure this out.
I need to stop messing up.
I can’t believe I ….
This should be easier.
I need to get this right.
This is really, really important.

What’s the difference between being too hard on yourself and having high standards for yourself / being driven in a healthy way?

You operate from a place of pressure and hustle, instead of peace and security (or confidence)

Being Hard Doesn’t Work.

Why?

1. It creates unhelpful pressure and subconscious panic.
2. It focuses on fixed things instead of growth potential and learning
3. It saturates your mind with stress

You don’t need to “tough it out”
You don’t get to keep justifying it with things like “I just have high expectations…”

 

How to Stop Being Hard on Yourself:

1. Decide that you can.
2. Accept that it’s not been a winning strategy.
3. Separate You 1.0 and You 2.0.
4. Understand the power of flow and belief.
5. Investigate and understand what you’re actually thinking
6. Try a new way (and practice it 1000x times, being patient with yourself)
7. Do intentional belief creation and confidence work.
8. Keep perspective of how achievement really happens (failure collection and openness)
9. Stop worrying what people think – and how you might look to them.
10. Study people who are successful (success leaves clues) – not sure where to find those people? Join us in the College of Confidence.

What you conceal doesn’t heal.

 

OTHER EPISODES TO ENJOY

#481: Enoughness: How to Feel Enough and Increase Your Self-Worth

#476: How to Believe in Your Big Goal

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Take your next step: join us in the College of Confidence.
Learn to great your own luck.
Join at www.collegeofconfidence.com/join

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

rockstar_808
Omg hi, Trish! I’ve been listening to your podcast for a long time now and I can’t believe I’m just now following your IG! Better late than never! I was listening to one episode yesterday where you mentioned that someone was speaking negative about you and how you aren’t this or that when it comes to your educational background and I just love how you didn’t allow that to stop you. Every topic of your podcast is relevant to my life and I appreciate every single last one I have the opportunity to hear. You are a precious gift from God in my life and I even let my 9 year old daughter tune in at times. You don’t need a special degree to help uplift others spirits with words of kindness and positive affirmations. You keep going and know that you are touching lives and souls all the way over here in my little nest.