Podcast #483

SELF-VALIDATION: THE ART OF NOT NEEDING OTHER PEOPLE TO TELL YOU “GOOD JOB”

Self-Validation, or the art of not needing other people to tell you “good job,” is a skill that the most confident people learn how to master. Even if you consider yourself a words of affirmation person, you can learn how to self-affirm and self-validate. Self-validation keeps you from the traps of people pleasing, of striving and of hamster wheel of external validation.

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re talking about…

• The art of self-validation and how to cheer yourself on
• How to not need external affirmation (even if you’re a words of affirmation person)
• A 30-day challenge to implement into your daily journaling

 

HAPPY MAGICAL BIRTHDAY TO MY MAMA:

70 on 2-22-22

 

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Worth Week is live, and going strong, and it’s not too late to join us!

I’ll teach you the 5-step framework to feeling worthy, loved and called to greatness – it’s a week where you will learn to see yourself how God sees you, how to drop the baggage and trash thoughts that are holding you back and how to live a life of extraordinary enthusiasm, confidence and impact.

 

ONE COACHING SPOT JUST OPENED

I have one coaching spot that just opened.

My clients get results.

If you want to create massive change in the next 6 months, this investment is for you.

Go to www.trishblackwell.com/coaching to fill out an application and to hop on an exploratory coaching call with me to see if my premium 1:1 coaching is right for you.

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

The perfect podcast at the perfect time!

DMars1206

I started listening to podcasts recently. Trish’ podcast was one of the first that I stumbled upon and I am so glad that I did. Trish is relatable, honest and encourages you to ook at situations differently. Her topics are so relatable to my life and I use so many of her technique in real life to better my thoughts and fee more confident. Thank you, Trish for your advice, your humble but confident spirit and the joy and assistance you bring to your listeners. We appreciate you!

 

COACHING ON SELF-VALIDATION

How do you tell yourself good job?

Or do you even intentionally practice this?

I used to be addicted to affirmation.

The need for affirmation drives us into many unhelpful life patterns:

• People pleasing
• Toxic relationships
• Inconsistent security
• Attention seeking
• Hustle and overworking
• Social media obsession
• Body image manipulation and concentration
• Indecisiveness / changing opinions

I have a constant dialogue going, continually affirming myself.

Self-validation frees you from

-the need for permission

-the external affirmation you crave

-the drama of overthinking

-the fear of not doing enough

-the unquenchable desire for approval

-the obsession with social confirmation

-the conflict you have with yourself

Things my mind says:

Good job, Trish.

Wow, nice effort, Trish.

Trish, that was kind, good work.

You didn’t give up, good job Trish.

I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there, Trish.

Way to show up today, that’s all that matters, Trish.

Trish, you look nice today.

Girl, your smile is magnetic today.

Yes, this is good work.

You have shown up with excellence, well done, now rest with excellence, Trish.

You were made for this.

 

HOW TO NOT NEED EXTERNAL VALIDATION

• Notice where you crave it.
• Understand why you’re craving and seeking approval
• Stop judging yourself so fiercely
• Stop comparing yourself to others.
• Stop measuring yourself by false belief systems (like social media likes)
• Tell someone – and it’s okay sometimes to need it (share how this works with me and Brandon – and how I’ve weaned myself off in some areas when I recognize that I can give it to myself)
• Practice your self-coaching voice.
• Get serious about replacing that mean voice in your head.
• Get coached.
• Minimize your social media exposure and have high awareness of what triggers insecure feelings
• Keep your own Champagne Moments journal
• Track your wins and growth
• Build others up generously – it will boomerang back to you

 

THE 30-DAY SELF-VALIDATION CHALLENGE:

Commit for 30 days to this challenge:

What am I proud of today?

1.

2.

3.

 

WANT TO LEARN TO JOURNAL?

Learn my full journaling process and change your life in 30 days at

www.trishblackwell.com/journal

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Hi Trish!!!! You are such an inspiration to me, I listen to your podcasts almost everyday. The way you help me get to know myself and my unconscious is incredible! I admire how vulnerable you are with your audience, too. We have the same exact enneagram, too, so it’s nice knowing that others struggle with the same things that I do.

-Andrea Z.