Podcast #479

 

HOW TO STOP SETTLING

 

 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re talking about.

  • How to know if you are settling or putting up with less than you deserve
  • The 4 reasons we settle: fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of unworthiness, fear of embarrassment
  • 2 sets of things to start + stop + keep to help you stop settling
  • What to do to start creating change

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK

The COC Podcast and Trish Blackwell are the most positive, inspiring, faith-based motivation a person can find on the internet. I have been listening to Trish for a year and a half. I am a member of the COC. God is using Trish to take me from feeling lost, insecure, and very down about myself to being someone who’s grounded in faith in God and His Word, and who I am as His child. -AmyJoC

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

January is a big month!

  1. It’s the LAST month you can get into the College of Confidence for just $57. Our rates are going up, but you don’t ever have to pay more if you get in now. Plus, when you join this month, I’m gifting you my exclusive book of FAITH-BASED TRANSFORMATIONAL AFFIRMATIONS. This is only available this month. Go to www.collegeofconfidence.com/join today!
  2. Straighten Your Crown has gone on sale to celebrate the New Year! Get paperback copies of it for just $9.99 and Kindle copies for just $2.99. Go to www.trishblackwell.com/crown

 

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE SETTLING:

Here’s how to know whether you’re putting up with less than you deserve: 

  • When you have to work yourself into a state of excitement rather than naturally experiencing joy and passion, you’re probably settling. 
  • When you bargain with yourself about what you can do without rather than feeling gratitude for what you already have, you’re probably settling. 
  • When your focus is on the time and energy you’ve invested in an endeavor rather than the love, joy and gratification you’ve gained, you’re probably settling. 
  • When you’re making excuses about why you should stay put rather than going for what you truly want, you’re probably settling. 
  • When you spend more time complaining about what you have than appreciating it, you’re definitely settling. 

 

WHY WE SETTLE:

We settle because we don’t think we deserve anything better.

Fundamentally, we settle because we don’t trust that God has something better for us.

We settle because we have lost our imagination

We got too focused on what is “realistic”.

We settle because we are afraid of being disappointed.

It depends upon your reasons and your goals

We settle because we refuse to fail.

 

QUOTES ON COURAGE: COURAGE IS THE ANTIDOTE TO THE SPIRIT OF SETTLING

Courage is the commitment to begin without any guarantee of success.

-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.

-Winston Churchill

Courage is the most important of all virtue because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.

-Maya Angelou

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are .

-Teddy Roosevelt

If one has courage, nothing can dim the light that shines from within.

-Maya Angelou

 

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DISAPPOINTMENT PROTECTION:

It’s smoke and mirrors – a false approach that gives faulty results.

Pain now or more intense pain later.

 

FAILURE PROTECTION:

The reason most people get stuck in mediocrity is because they refuse to fail. The reason people refuse to fail is because they associate failure with defeat. Their fear of defeat paralyzes them to the point that they won’t move forward. People are not finished when they’re defeated; they’re finished when they quit

If you’re willing to feel and to fail, you’ll be able to do anything.

  1. Have a helpful definition of failure
  2. Fail forward into more and more growth (it’s a launchpad)
  3. Be proud of failure – release the need to impress

 

EMBARASSMENT PROTECTION:

What will people think if we want too much? What will they say about us if we dream too big?

Instead of internalizing shame, what if this was a source of pride? What if your willingness to live big and with uncapped imagination inspired more people than you think?

  1. People aren’t thinking about you like you think they are.
  2. What people are thinking about you isn’t any of your business.
  3. Risk embarrassment or be embarrassed by a life not well lived

 

AVERAGENESS PROTECTION:

We settle because we don’t think we deserve anything better.

Fundamentally, we settle because we don’t trust that God has something better for us.

  1. I am God’s masterpiece.
  2. I have the capacity to make the world a better place because I am in it.
  3. I have impact that requires me to step up, to show up, and to believe.

 

STOP / START / KEEP

Sequence #1 Stop/Start/Keep

  1. Stop overpacking your schedule. (It keeps you too busy to think)
  2. Start thinking about what other people are unwilling to do – and do it.
  3. Keep learning voraciously.

Sequence #2 Stop/Start/Keep

  1. Stop too many screens. (How’s life been? Great, um, I’ve watched a lot of TV)
  2. Start being someone who wakes up earlier than everyone else. (Shows you are in control of your life)
  3. Keep your enthusiasm for life heightened and renewed

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE

Jocelynn Green

Hi Trish! I have started listening to your confidence podcast while I’m at work and I’m IN LOVE!!! It has helped me so much, I’m standing up straighter, smiling more, and overall happier. I’ve even been sharing the things I learn with my 4 sisters and single mothers! I’m a young college student, I just returned from serving as a missionary for a year and a half for the Church of Jesus Chris of Latter-Day Saints, where I focused entirely on the Lord and not at all on dating. Now that I’m home I’m ready to dive into dating and looking for a spouse, but because of my lack of exposure to dating (and boys in general) I feel extremely doubtful about how to date. What episode from your podcast would you recommend? Gain, thank you so, so much.

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