Podcast #470

You Deserve Better: Rejection Reframing

The pain from past rejection keeps many of us from our fullest potential in life, both personally and professionally, but it doesn’t have to when you learn how to reframe rejection. You deserve better than to expect to get hurt, to expect things not to work out or to expect disappointment. This podcast coaching session will inspire you with the tools for rejection reframing so you can start being more brave with your life. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/470

In the episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’re talking about…

• Shifting out of self-indulgence and self-rejection
• How to separate romantic rejection from your self-worth
• Reframing rejection so that you don’t fear future rejection
• Loving yourself through rejection and why rejection is actually sometimes a good thing

 

WOMEN RISING INSPIRE OTHER WOMEN TO RISE

Oh my gosh. Just had such a fun week, speaking at the Women’s Legal Forum at The Notre Dame Law School.

I help driven women overcome self-doubt, impostor syndrome, and perfectionism so that they can stop playing small with their lives and start making the bold difference in this world God created them to make.

That’s why I’m loving the ability to do more workshops.

As you know, I specialize in working with high-achieving women who work in male-dominated fields, and a large majority of my private clients are women working in high-pressure, high-achieving fields, like the legal field, medical field, and financial field. 

I’m really excited about creating an experience with strategies for confidence and positive mental health that these driven women can use throughout their entire careers. I can offer these services either virtually or in-person.

 

The main two workshops I’m delivering are:

1. Strategies in Confidence: Finding Your Voice in a Male Dominated Industry
2. Strategies in Confidence: Navigating Law School with More Success and Less Stress

Email me directly if you want me to come and support your organization in this high level way. [Trish @ TrishBlackwell . com]

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK

Thank you for  being my on the go coach

5-Stars

I’ve been listening daily … it truly have helped me work as a manager instead of feeling like an impostor.

-RN manager / mom to. Be

 

BLACK FRIDAY ANNOUNCEMENTS

Most of my students and clients start with the intention of working with me for a few months, but stay for years.

That’s the beautiful thing about coaching.

Once you achieve one goal, or experience one breakthrough, you create a new focus, and have even more confidence to tackle it with the confidence and support  that comes from being coached.

That’s why today THROUGH Cyber Monday, I’m offering $800 the cost of a Lifetime Membership to my coaching in the College of Confidence.

Pay just $1500 once, and know for sure that I’ll be in your corner for you, and you’ll get access to every new course I ever. create for the COC for as long as the COC exists!

Go to trishblackwell.com/blackfriday to grab it.

 

I DESERVE THIS … I DESERVE BETTER SEQUENCES

I deserve to take a break > I deserve better than to feel stressed tonight.

I deserve to eat this ice cream > I deserve better than to have a stomach ache.

I deserve this extra glass of wine > I deserve better than to feel hungover tomorrow.

I deserve to buy myself this > I deserve better than to go deeper into debt

Countering “I deserve this”

With “I deserve better.”

 

REJECTION AND HOW IT LIMITS OUR LIVES

Self-Rejections / Ways we reject ourselves:

We convince ourselves we are not good enough.

I might as well not try.

Self-harming.

Procrastination

Isolating oneself.

Always comparing yourself to others.

Adjusting goals unnecessarily

Letting others choose your path in life

Ignoring your true feelings and gut

Not speaking up

Social Rejections:

We convince ourselves that other people don’t think we’re good enough.

They didn’t follow up because they didn’t want to

I got ghosted.

No one includes me.

Listener Question:

How to separate romantic rejection from your self-worth

-It’s not about you, it is about them.

-When there is severance, ask yourself if there is some truth in it.

-There is always room to grow.

-Don’t project future rejection because of past rejection

-Your self worth comes from your thoughts. You can’t act your way to worthiness, you have to think your way there.

Things to Do to Prevent Fear of Future Rejection:

Remind yourself how amazing you are.

Acknowledge that your own self-criticism is making your perception inflated

Prioritize your value on being bold, brave and courageous.

 

THE SECRET TO REFRAMING REJECTION

Instead of personalizing it, let it power you.

Also know that what you think is a rejection might not be one.

We falsely believe that rejection is a detention. That it is a label everyone sees. But it’s not. Rejection feeds impostor syndrome.

What no one told me because I became an entrepreneur is that I would have to massively fail in order to massively achieve.

I needed to massively embrace rejection – and just give it a different story and a new meaning.

What I didn’t know about sales, but I quickly learned is that rejection is essential. It’s part of the numbers game. The sooner we can learn to depersonalize rejection, the more quickly we will grow in life.

Sometimes too, y’all, we are rejected by things we don’t need to hold onto.

-Maybe that’s someone’s silence, or lack of interaction

-Maybe you just got ghosted

-Maybe you got teased, but then their opinion changed

-Maybe you just weren’t noticed

Most of the time, rejection is God’s protection.

I have let stranger’s opinions (bible teacher, akemi parker, a professor, cool guys that intimidated me) keep me from being good enough, when ultimately I didn’t know or like those people in the first place.

 

LOVING YOURSELF THROUGH REJECTION:

Remind yourself that rejection is part of the human experience.

Often, rejection is just a numbers game.

Rejection means you’re on your way to the right opportunity and willing to be all in.

Have your own back – don’t reject yourself.

Ways to Have Your Own Back:

Be kind to yourself.

Know what you want and what you don’t.

Refuse to beat yourself down and personalize the negativity.

Keep your word to yourself.

Find the good – and don’t maximize what’s not going right.

Questions to Ask Yourself During Times of Rejection:

What does this rejection really mean?

Was it really rejection or is that the story I am telling myself it is?

Could there be more to the story than I know or have the ability to know?

If today’s episode resonated with you, then you’ll love this episode:

#439: How to Believe You’re Good Enough Even When You Keep Getting Rejected

Www.trishblackwell.com/439

 

A NOTE OF THANKSGIVING:

I will give thanks to you, Lord with all my heart. I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. (Psalm 9:1)

Ya’ll. All of this.

My deepest prayer and greatest desire is that my life would be an outpouring of gratitude and thankfulness to God for the goodness He gives me in life.

Without Him, I would be a shell of a person.

Without Him, I would feel lost.

Without Him, I would be chained to my fears.

Without Him, I would not be anything close to the Trish you know, see and hear on the podcast.

And, if you’ve read my book, Straighten Your Crown, without Him, I would have been strangled to death by a stranger.

Let everything in me that has breath and voice praise the Lord, and so yes, this Thanksgiving season, I want to shout from the mountain top, THANK YOU, LORD.

I am thankful.

Tell me, what are you thankful for this year?

 

2022 STRATEGY SESSIONS

It’s back. Our most looked-forward-to coaching option that we offer 1x/year.

A one-time 75-Minute year-long planning session with me

No contract.

No long term obligation.

Just you and me and everything you want to plan for 2022.

The session is recorded so you can go back and relisten to it anytime in the year when you need a personalized reminder that I believe in you and that the goals and growth you have set out for yourself are absolutely feasible, achievable and meant for you!

 

I only have 10 spots. Only 8 are left.

They are first come, first serve.

The price is $997.

You’ll get pre-session reflection / goal setting work from me, so that we can jump right in and maximize our time together when we are live together.

Additionally, you’ll get a quarterly email check in from me throughout the year to touch base on how your progress is going and a reminder that I’m still in your corner.

Finally, we won’t just talk steps and strategy, we’re going to make sure you’re equipped with the mindset strategies and personalized affirmations / belief work that you’ll need as the fuel to really drive you to your goals in 2022.

After our session you’ll receive a robust email from me with the recording, your action-steps, your quarterly growth goals and the mindset, affirmation, or journaling directives that we coached on in our time together. It’s the step up for a year of extraordinary success.

Email me for more information or to request a spot in my schedule.

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Hello Trish, I listened to your podcast this morning, episode 465 and it blessed my soul. I laughed out loud when you share the negative thoughts that went through your mind the week before. I laughed because nothing could be further from the truth. It made me realize how I had believed blatant lies about myself.

Thank you for being so open and honest in your podcast.

You’re an amazing woman and your work is so impactful.

Your teachings have been instrumental to my healing. Having been in an abusive relationship for 20 years, I cried to God for help and He led me to your podcast. My confidence has grow tremendously and I am beginning to achieve my goals and reams.

I have been courageous enough to get out of my toxic home 3 months ago. Because of the abuse I went through for 2 decades, I lost myself in the process. I am not sure of my personality anymore. This is where I am now. I want to discover my true personality so that I can show up as my authentic self. I feel like who I am now is a product of what I have been through. I really want to be the woman I was originally made to be.  -Joylene