Podcast #462

Confidence For When You Feel Different or Just Plain Discouraged

We live in a chaotic world filled with conflicting opinions everywhere you turn. In a world that is more connected than ever, we are more divided, more lonely, more isolated and more conflicted internally on standing strong in our own opinions, even when they are unpopular or simply opposed by those closest to us. This podcast goes into depth on how to stay confident in yourself, in your relationships and in your hope for the future when the evidence you have in front of you is that division is pressing and discouragement is around every turn.

 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re talking about:

• How to feel confident about the future when the future feels so discouraging
• Creating connection with others in a world of division
• The secret to believing that life is different, but still good.

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Trish Blackwell Confidence Podcast – 5 Stars, A Will NC
 
Trish – you never disappoint. I have been a listener for years, a member of your college, and we worked one-on-one, as well. I am on the edge of a big change at work and needed some extra confidence. I was feeling myself teeter into thinking about staying small instead of taking the risk and chasing my purpose .I needed several hours of you in my ear to straighten my backbone. Thank you for hanging with me all day. It started with the very timely assertive podcast, followed by your entire people pleaser course in the College of Confidence. I knew from our work together that I was beginning to give into other people’s comfort and sacrificing my goals and my gifts. I am happy to say that I am forging ahead and will be having a tough, but needed conversation today, unapologetically, I might say, because other people’s feelings are not my responsibility! Cheers to being me and being free. Thank you!!!!

 

THE QUESTION THAT PROMPTED TODAY’S EPISODE:

How do we appropriately “mourn”/bid farewell to life before 2020 and then still be filled with hope for life beyond it, beyond now? I keep getting so overwhelmed with feelings of will people always disagree? Will I ever travel again? Will my kids ever see the rest of the world? I know these are all “what ifs” and not at all productive. I also know that covid won’t ever fully go away any time soon. So how do I find a peaceful reality affirmation that life is different but still good?

 

HOW TO STAY ENCOURAGED WHEN THE FUTURE FEELS DISCOURAGING

Thank you for this question. I too am having all of the thoughts, and here’s how I’m exiting them  from taking unnecessary space in my brain.
 
I encourage myself that of ALL the years of the history of the world, God decided that I was best fit to live HERE, NOW, in 2020, 2021. I want to argue with this, but I trust His sovereignty and that makes me feel capable of standing strong in believing that yes, I AM WELL ABLE to not just survive these years and this transition of culture/life/limitations/pandemic, but to THRIVE in it. 
 
What our new “normal” looks like is going to be different, but I assure you, it will be good.
 
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. You arrange your mind to be happy, you don’t wait for life’s circumstances to arrange themselves for you to be happy
 
The happy brain is the person who experiences a happy life.
A happy life doesn’t happen because of the way normal looks like, the amount of travel we get to do or the circumstances in our lives.
 
A happy brain is arranged to be happy.
 
So, I can’t arrange the future, but I can arrange my brain on how I want to think about the future, how I want to think about the past, and how I want to think about the present.
 
If you’re always holding onto what could have been, you’ll completely miss what can be.
I am determined to fix my focus not on what could have been, but instead on what can be and how I still believe with total crazy faith that the best is yet to come.

 

CREATING CONNECTION IN A WORLD OF DIVISION

Yes, people will always disagree and be divided.
 
We can see evidence of this in looking at world history, and why that encourages me is that I don’t have to let my brain panic about the divide and divisiveness, instead I can say “nothing has gone wrong here” and all the more NEED for me to be a PEACE-MAKER and unifier in the world.
 
In families that disagree, where can I find the commonality?
In communities that are divided, how can I create small, little connections?
In political opinions that clash, what can I do to find the humanity in us all?
 
The more divided people are the more connection, love, forgiveness and grace the world needs. It ignites and injects powerful purpose into the mundane everydayness of so much of our lives. 
 
So, this becomes a call to us to rise up and be leaders where we might not have otherwise thought we could lead. We must fight against the thought that our drop in the bucket doesn’t matter – it does, it always does.
 
How can I see people as people more?
How can be more generous in small ways today?
How can I be someone who inspires others to be better themselves?
How can I give the world more than I take from it today?
How can I create connection and heal wounds of division today?
How can I live my life in a way that brings pockets of peace to others?
How can I advocate for love, for light, for peace?
How can I step out in crazy faith and live from a place of faith, not fear?
How can I seek to see the good more than I see the bad?

 

BELIEVING THAT LIFE IS DIFFERENT, BUT STILL GOOD

I was inspired this morning with an idea for next week – a challenge for the COC to help us all enjoy everyday life more. Stay tuned for that. But to answer your final question – we find peace, JOY and beauty in our current broken / disrupted everyday life by DETERMINING to enjoy life, no matter the circumstances.
 
The Happiness Challenge, do it yourself!
 
Make a vision board about what life could look like.
Continue to dream. Determine to cast a wide vision.
Whatever you do, don’t stop dreaming out of fear of disappointment.
 
I’ve had my heart ache in ways I never knew possible in the past 18-months.
Disappointment after disappointment after disappointment, and the limited / human / fear makes me not want to put myself out there, to not want to hope, but that is where we must double down. I will not lose hope.
 
Hold to hope.
Focus on the good.
Believe that good things are coming.
Find adventure in it all.
Trust that God is for you, not against you.
Remember that whatever happens, you will find happiness.
 
 
I help driven women overcome self-doubt, impostor syndrome, and perfectionism so that they can stop playing small with their lives and start making the bold difference in this world God created them to make.
 

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Sandra L. Martin
 
You’ll be so inspired with every chapter your read.
 
This book helps me put into words how God makes me feel. The author shares personal stories about trials she has experienced and how they brought her so much closer to God. She gives us beautiful perspective on how she learned that God was always there in the times when she was on top of the world, or in the trenches. You just need to slow down and look for him and listen for his voice. You will be ready to take on the world after you read each chapter. You will feel so loved by our Creator as you make your way through the book. It’s inspiring and a bit of a tear jerker at times but there is always a happy ending at the end of each chapter because you realize that God was there with her.