Podcast #452

Confidence For Physical Intimacy

You’re not alone in feeling insecure about how you engage and interact with others physically. But there’s no reason to stay stuck in this avoidance of or minimization of physical intimacy. No matter your background with others or with yourself, you can learn how to safely and comfortably connect with yourself and others with confidence in a physical way. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/452

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re talking about:

·       Physical intimacy blocks and how your lack of confidence might be hindering your overall confidence and connection with others

·       How to have more body confidence and self-intimacy so that your physical intimacy with others – both platonically and romantically improves

·       5 techniques to proactively improve your confidence in physical intimacy in your romantic relationship

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK

Holly Sexton 5-Stars, Not only and…

This is the podcast for you if you need help in ANYTHING!

Not only is it faith-based, and for entrepreneurs, and for moms, and for anyone dealing with diet issues, Trish hits all topics! When I don’t even think I need to listen to that episode, I still get something from it! 

 

WHAT’S BLOCKING YOUR INTIMACY?.

Past sexual trauma or abuse

Distrust of others

Body dysmorphia 

Identity misalignment 

Preferences (lots of physical touch or not) 

Blocked intimacy means that you might…

Avoid dating because you don’t want to have to be physical

Sabotage relationships to hide yourself

Body shame yourself and heighten your self-critical voice to create physical change

Overdrink or use substances to help you not overthink

Minimize social situations where hugs or interaction make you uncomfortable

Stand with guarded and closed off body language 

Hinder the openness and deep intimacy of allowing yourself to be known by your spouse

Undereating or protocol to allow yourself to be worthy of receiving touch

Never get self-care like massages or pedicures

 

PHYSICAL INTIMACY WITH YOURSELF

Stretching

Hugging

Touching

Massaging

Allowing yourself to have self-care

Lotion

Skin care routine

Intimate understanding of food that feels good on the inside

Intimate conversations with yourself

Challenge: 

Write your future self a love note at night for the next day. 

Learn to be friends with yourself means learning to come from a place of love. 

Love is the most powerful emotion we can be in; it opens up our creativity, our confidence and our connection.

What you feel yourself with you have to continue using – fuel with love not self-criticism. Criticism and pressure is heavy and forced, love is light, airy, easy and exciting

PLATONIC AND FAMILIAL INTIMACY

Hugs, touch.

Family background.

Understanding your affection preferences

Communicating to others your preferences

-I’m not a hugger, I love hugs, come – sit closer, etc.  

 

ROMANTIC INTIMACY

Allowing someone to be with you fully, without numbing yourself or hiding anything, opens you to true connection and deep intimacy.

You have to decide to allow yourself to be known.

Physical intimacy isn’t going to give you physical confidence if you don’t already have it — physical intimacy grounds your confidence and your hard wiring to connect deeply with another human being at your base level. 

 

Methods to improve your confidence in physical intimacy:

1.     Spend more intentional time naked by yourself

2.     Thank your body for how it looks and compliment it

3.     Practice proactively escorting out negative thoughts – unwanted guests for when your mind wanders – refuse to allow your intimacy experience to be cheapened by your trash thoughts. 

4.     Speak openly with your spouse and experiment with a variety of physical intimacy that isn’t sexual. 

5.     Engage in more small touches throughout the day 

 

LISTENER OF THE WEEK:

Hey Trish – I had a friend recommend your podcast about 2 months ago. I have been listening to lots of your podcasts in the last few months. And it has been very powerful, life changing and bringing such healing and truth in my life. Thank you so much for being you and all you do. You’re awesome! You have such a gift at speaking and teaching!  -Ashley Jean