Podcast #451

Black and White Thinking is Hurting Your Confidence

Black and white thinking, or all or nothing thinking, is a thought strategy often used by highly driven people that actually stunts progress, deteriorates happiness and limits potential. If you have ever described yourself as an “all or nothing” person or as a “black and white” thinker, this podcast coaching is for you. It will help you with the steps to take on how to get out of the black and white thinking loop and how to have more mental flexibility and self-kindness in the process. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/451

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re talking about:

·       How black/white and all-or-nothing thinking shows up in driven people and why we cling to it like a security blanket when it’s really suffocating us

·       The process to disassociate this type of thinking from your identity

·       How to become a flexible, happy thinker

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Confidence and Wisdom – 5 Stars

I am forever thankful for Trish’s passion, for helping me help myself by understanding that loving myself means taking care of the thoughts I create and pay attention to on a daily basis. 

Trish, I love that you see emotional self-care and self-reflection as a daily practice, much like brushing our teeth. Part of my work is with inpatient Psychiatric patients dealing with sever depression, and oftentimes I hear myself quoting your “brushing teeth” analogy to help them understand that taking care of our mental health is something that should be practiced every day, like brushing teeth. Trish, thank you for helping me find the confidence I have been searching for year, I cannot wait for what the future holds. Sincerely, Cinthya Mena, PA-C

(CinthyaMena) 

 

BLACK & WHITE THINKING / ALL-OR-NOTHING IS FOR THE BIRDS

Chances are, if you’re driven, you’ve tapped into extreme thinking. As a result, you get results in some ways, and then get addicted to the method that you thought got you the results. But, you got the results from clean thinking – not the flawed thinking of black and white. 

I held onto black and white thinking for way too long because I misidentified where my results came from, and I didn’t trust myself or my natural drive.

Your thoughts are what create your results in life — not your extreme control or categorization of things.

Just because you have a natural inclination or preference to think this way doesn’t mean that it’s hard-wired into you. 🙂 

My black and white thinking 

-kept me stuck in my eating disorder longer 

-slowed my business growth with narrow focus on the “how” of the right way versus the wrong way

-put me into a place of judgment of others instead of love and grace

-created an internal state of self-criticism and unrealistic, non-human expectations

-drove me to a place of trying to prove myself and absolute exhaustion. 

How is it hurting your confidence?

-Keeping you limited in a one-dimensional type of thinking?

-Making you obsess about doing things a certain way?

-Having unreasonable standards for others?

-Driving you to extremes; pendulum of intensity vs. passivity

-Convincing you to not even start?

-Addicting you to external affirmation / being the best?

-Plunging you into scarcity thinking and comparison?

-Creating a mental atmosphere of hyper-criticism and extremism 

 

SPONSORSHIP NOTE: BETTERHELP

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HOW TO BECOME A HAPPIER, MORE FLEXIBLE THINKER

Questions I Ask Myself:

Is this type of thinking helpful? 

What are the byproducts of my black and white thinking? (extremism, self-judgement, closed off to others’ perspectives, inflexible schedule, pressure, perfectionism, performance, anxiety)

How can I explore the color grey in my life? (Note, even grey doesn’t have just one spelling).

Flawed Thought Strategy vs. Identity

Stop claiming it as an identity.

It’s not an identity, it’s a flawed strategy.

Thank Your Brain and then Redirect It

It’s trying to protect you – to help you make decisions

Decide You Are Capable of Change

When I believed that God was transforming my mind, it took the overthinking away from me and expanded my faith to see that more than just my discipline and willpower was going on.

Be open to filling in the cognitive holes — for me this was flexible thinking, the area of grey in my life, compassionate thinking and a malleable perspective 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

I have a new free 5-day series that I made just for you. It’s the perfect next-step for anyone who has binge listened to this podcast.

In it you’ll learn the 5 MOST IMPORTANT things you need to know to double your confidence. I challenge you to join me for 5-days of video coaching – watch at your own pace and on your own time – but do it all in 5 days, and I promise, you’ll feel like a different person on the 5th day.

Again, it’s completely FREE.

Grab your spot in this confidence challenge at www.trishblackwell.com/confidencechallenge

The more you believe in yourself, the more you can do with your life.  More confidence means more opportunity and more impact. To get to that next level in your life, confidence is the key.

Believing in yourself doesn’t happen by accident, it’s the result of intentional thought creation.

People who are confident aren’t just lucky, they have built their confidence with a few daily core habits, and I’ll teach you exactly what those are and how to implement them into your own life.

It’s all happening in the FREE 5-DAY CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE. 

Get started now by hopping on over to > www.trishblackwell.com/confidencechallenge

These next 5 days will be the new foundation for a future lifetime of confidence. 

I’ll teach you ✔️how to create confidence, ✔️how to believe in yourself, ✔️how to manage your thoughts, ✔️how to become the person you want to be, ✔️and more. 

I work with public figures, Olympic and professional athletes, authors, CEOs, entrepreneurs and everyday people who want to create a life of joy and a life of impact. And, no matter the client, no matter the situation, the more I can help my clients grow their confidence, the more my clients achieve.

Confidence is a muscle you *can* strengthen. 

It’s something you already have within you.

Together I’ll teach you how to make yours stronger.

You CAN change your future by changing your confidence level, and this FREE 5-DAY CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE will help you get started. 

Save yourself a free spot in the challenge now at > www.trishblackwell.com/confidencechallenge

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE: 

Karariina 

I was hoping to hear your thoughts on how to handle things like = I want ot be a morning person, get up early and be effect, but oh man, so hard! My body is not a morning person! For years, been trying to adapt but always end up not managing that routine! I don’t know how much I should keep trying to wake up early and how much I should try to adapt my life to my natural ways …another questions I have is, I’m so careless by nature, miss little things here and there, especially if I’m stressed, and have so many things to do- how do I manage this? Embrace my creative, artsy side or stay up ways to address this part of me? Thank you for any insights and I absolutely love love your podcast! Blessing in my life!