Podcast #438

The Fear of Disappointment and How to Move Past It

The fear of disappointment can keep you playing it safe and staying small on the sidelines of life. You may think you’re protecting yourself or being realistic, but really all you are doing is guaranteeing that your life as a whole will be less than you were created for, and that’s disappointing. Disappointment is part of being human, and when you learn how to feel through your disappointments, they end up being tools to deepen your confidence, hone your drive and leverage what really matters the most. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/438

 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re diving deep into disappointment, specifically:

• The relationship of disappointment to self-criticism
• How to process and feel disappointment
• The key to moving past it for good – and not being held back by the fear of it in your life

 

THANK YOU: PATRONS

Just some special love and deep gratitude your way for how you support the show. You are a small and mighty group and each and every one of your contributions feels like a big, warm, wiggle hug. Thank you.

Want to be part of the people who help keep this show going? Consider becoming a patron. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/TheConfidencePodcast

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

ALWAYS something to learn from Trish! 5-Stars, by Jen Zumbiel

I find myself in aw that Trish has 400+ episodes all on the same topic-  confidence. But every single time I am also amazed that she finds something new to speak to me about at just the right time I need to hear it. Trish is a force of good in a world that needs more people standing up in this virtue.

 

HOW DOES DISAPPOINTMENT DESTROY OUR CONFIDENCE?

Let’s talk briefly about the relationship with disappointment, our fear of disappointment and self-criticism. 

-Disappointment in ourselves

-Disappointment in others

-Disappointment in how our lives have panned out

-Disappointment in choices

Or even, the fear of

-Thinking you’re a disappointment

-Being told you are a disappointing

-The classic, “I’m not mad at you, I’m just disappointed”

-Telling yourself that you’ve disappointed God 

Disappointment seems to sting deep in our character, burning us at the core of our identity where it hurts the most. But we are separate from our disappointments, and our disappointments can’t and shouldn’t hold us back from living fully.

I paused many years of my life because of disappointment. I thought by trying to control more things, play it safe, set smaller – more controllable goals, not get my hopes up, etc that I was protecting myself from emotions I didn’t think “I could handle.”

1. First – I didn’t know that I can handle anything. Maybe you don’t know that either. But it’s true, you can.
2. Second – I protected myself, that’s for sure, but from a full, fulfilling and impact-making life. 
3. Third – Disappointment is part of being human; it’s not something avoidable, either you let it make you miss out, or you embrace being willing to feel your feelings and move through them. 

 

THE FEAR OF DISAPPOINTMENT

Quotes on Disappointment:

Disappointment opens our hearts to know what we really care about. Don’t worry about the perceived closed door, focus instead on the open heart. More opportunity will come. 

-Trish Blackwell

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain or regret or disappointment. –Jim Rohn

The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trail with humility. –Thomas S Monson

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. –Henry David Thoreau

Fear of disappointment is a false sense of control and a disillusioned belief that we can avoid a basic human emotion.

 

YES, I HAVE A NEW BOOK COMING OUT. 

It’s called Straighten Your Crown: You’re a Daughter of the King

Pre-orders will be starting soon, but in celebration of our pre-launch, I am giving away a 5-day devotional.

Go to www.straightenyourcrownbook.com to grab the devotional and to make sure you get notified of when our pre-orders begin. We’re giving away audiobooks and some crazy giveaways when the pre-order window starts, so you definitely want to be on the list to be notified. 

 

SPONSORSHIP NOTE: BETTERHELP

Is there something interfering with your happiness? Have you been wanting to start counseling, but not know where to look or start? 

BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You get to connect in a safe and private online environment – it’s so convenient, and of course confidential. Once you sign up you can start communicating in under 24-hours. Y’all, this isn’t self-help, this is professional counseling.

What I love about it the most is that you can send a message to your counselor at anytime. You’ll get timely and thoughtful responses plus you can schedule weekly video or phone session.  

Betterhelp makes it easy and free to change counselors if needed. It’s more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.

Their licensed professional counselors specialize in depression, anxiety, stress, relationships, sleeping, trauma, anger, family conflict, grief, and self-esteem. I want you to start living a happier life today. As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting www.betterhelp.com/confidencepod

 

HOW TO MOVE PAST IT AND NOT LET THE FEAR OF POTENTIAL DISAPPOINTMENT HOLD YOU BACK

1. Feel it completely.
2. Be brave with your emotions.
3. Focus more on the open heart, not the closed door.
4. Think on (create belief) the opportunities to come and God’s provision in your life. 
5. Deepen your commitment to what matters in your life. 

 

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Podcast #211 | The 4 Positive Ways to Deal with Disappointment
https://www.trishblackwell.com/211-2/
 
Course: How to Feel Your Feelings, available to members of the College of Confidence
www.collegeofconfidence.com

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

Candace Flores

Hello, I just wanted to thank you so much for writing this! It’s really helped me focus my attention to God and who I am meant to be. I wake up and meditate along with your morning meditation recording and almost have it memorized! I finish listening to your podcasts feeling encouraged and strong after. I feel the change; this shift in my posture, my attitude and well being. Thank you, again God Bless.

Jodie from IG

Hello there, I just want to stay by saying I’ve been listening to your podcast and you have done wonders for my confidence. You’re making such a positive difference to so many women’s lives!!! Your podcasts have provided a kind of therapy for me. Keep doing what you’re doing!