How to Stop Caring What People Think – 2020 Update

Podcast #419

The courage to be disliked is a mark of confidence. When you learn to stop caring what people think, you will unleash your fullest potential. Thankfully, this year has given us an unique perspective on how to stop caring what people think. 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’ll be talking about:

• How to leverage what 2020 has given us to help you unshackle yourself from the chains of caring too much what people think
• Dangerous pitfalls of 2020 that could drive you into caring too much what people think if you aren’t careful 
• How becoming a “powerful thinker” can change everything for you in this area of personal struggle in your life.

 

THANK YOU: PATRONS

Just some special love and deep gratitude your way for how you support the show. You are a small and mighty group and each and every one of your contributions feels like a big, warm, wiggle hug. Thank you.
 
Want to be part of the people who help keep this show going? Consider becoming a patron. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/TheConfidencePodcast
 
We have 22 exclusive podcast episodes there, and more coming, just for this select group. 

 

SPONSORSHIP NOTE:

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REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Love this podcast, 5 stars, by Nelli999
 
I listened to Trish about 6 years ago and loved her podcast and used a lot of what she said into my life and it changed for the better. I haven’t listened to her in the past 3 years and finally came back to get confidence in myself again. A year ago I quit my high paying job because it was toxic to me and I was very happy to quit there. At that time I didn’t know it would take me a year later to get a job. It’s been a hard year interviewing having them tell you we like you, but you don’t have a degree, or we are going to hire someone with no experience. Makes you feel like crap. Finally landed a job that I didn’t think I would get because I didn’t have the experience but told them I would do anything and work up in the company. I have learned so much at this job and it was a blessing that I got it. Anyways. My confidence was way down. Just listening to Trish in the past month has changed my confidence for the better. I have a lot of episodes to get caught up on but I am glad I am back. Thank you Trish. 

 

HOW TO USE 2020 TO YOUR CONFIDENCE ADVANTAGE

2020 is a year of division, cancel-culture and polarity. 

If you can walk through this year and still think that you have control over what people think or that you can sway or convince people to like you, then you haven’t been paying attention. 

1. Give yourself a freedom pass to be okay not being liked.
2. Give yourself permission to cherish real life
3. Give yourself a challenge to be different – now is the time to change. 

Book Recommendation:
The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life, and Achieve Real. By Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga
https://amzn.to/2IMUEII

“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.”

1. One of our most dangerous beliefs is that our past determines our future.
2. If you focus on what’s wrong with you, you might be looking for reasons to hate yourself on purpose.
3. Most of what we think of as competition is just made up and hurting our happiness.

 

DANGEROUS PITFALLS OF 2020 THAT COULD MAKE YOU CARE TOO MUCH 

Our current culture is 90% virtual.

Potential pitfalls are:
-Inauthenticity online
-Not addressing your emotions/boredom/fears and looking to others to fix them
-Blurred boundaries with people within your bubbles
-Discontent and impatience that drives you to social worlds that are crafted and pretend 
-Trying to please everyone / thinking that you can


We care too much about what we can’t control because we are distracted, we are busy and we have lost sight of what matters.

1. Slow down and scroll less.

2020 has taught us what matters and what doesn’t. Don’t lose sight of this lesson.

1. Put down the burden of being busy.

Being busy does not make you more important.
Busy has become our identity.

Seneca quotes > 

“Life is long if you know how to use it.”

“But life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future.”

1. Become a powerful thinker.

You can help what you think – because you are the master of your mindset. Don’t just obsess about positive thinking, get obsessed about what you can control – the power of your thinking. 

2020 has shown us how much of life is out of our control – the think that gives you the most control in your life is how you think. Let this get you excited. 

Powerful thinkers know that they can …
-redirect thoughts
-build others up
-prune toxic thought patterns / take captive thoughts 
-let go of trying to control others 
-know what you want

Not sure how to figure out what you want? Scroll back and episode and check out last week’s show on How to Figure Out What You Want, episode #418 (www.trishblackwell.com/418)

 

HOW POWERFUL THINKING HELPS YOU STOP CARING

Powerful thinkers know how to control their thoughts, how to cling to certain thoughts, how to recognize sloppy thoughts, know who’s opinion matters and who doesn’t, and can focus when it counts. 
 
Powerful thinkers use journaling, affirmations, and self-coaching, and well as external coaching and are free from thinking that they need to do everything on their own or prove themselves in any way. 
 
Want to learn how to be a powerful thinker? That’s exactly what I teach in the College of Confidence. Join today at www.collegeofconfidence.com
 
 
MANTRA:
I am who I am for a reason and I have specific purpose inside of me that can only be lived out when I trust myself to be how and who my Creator intended me to be … I do not care about – because I can not control – the opinions of others but rather I care about the opinion of my Creator. I am choosing to show up in life as my full self, because if I don’t, the story and purpose put inside of me will never come to fruition. I’m showing up today and I will show up tomorrow and I will keep showing up every day – all opinions, all distraction, all else aside – I will be faithful to show up for life.

 

OTHER PODCAST EPISODES YOU WILL LOVE:

How to Stop Caring What People Think, Episode #187

www.trishblackwell.com/187

15 Ways to Stop Caring What People Think, Episode #361

www.trishblackwell.com/361

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Join the College of Confidence and get immediate access to our Finding Freedom from Other’s Opinions.

We also have the following courses applicable: 

• Anxiety Relief Bundle
• Turning Your Trials into Triumphs
• Asking for What You Want
• How to Train Your Thoughts
• Comparison Detox
• Seeing Yourself with More Confidence
• Perfectionism Detox
• How to Really Believe in Your Success 
• Tapping Into Your Purpose
• Stopping Self-Sabotage
• The Not Enough Cleanse 
• Finishing What You Start
• Trusting Yourself
• Getting Unstuck
• Overcoming Overwhelm
• Getting Off the Busy Bus

 Get started here: www.collegeofconfidence.com

_________

Starting in 2021 my private coaching is going to be referral and invitation only, so if you have been thinking about working with me, now is the time to become part of my client family.

Email me directly to get started. I am working only with people who are willing to commit to a 6-month goal. 

 

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE: 

Coutney Shelton
 
I wanted to reach out and say thank you. 2 days in and I’m already feeling so much better. I was in a terrible marriage and got a divorce a year ago. Although I’ve stuck with God throughout it, my confidence decreased, ruining the relationships arlund me. I recently started dating someone from work and let me tell you, I would get jealous if he said hey to someone. I was ruining something that was good for me. But this podcast has helped me see my confidence is really what I needed to be working on. 

How to Be Confident in Your Relationships, Episode #403

www.trishblackwell.com/403