How to Actually Like Yourself


To learn how to actually like yourself, you have to first figure out who you are and spend time with yourself. This podcast episode peers into how to go deep in self-identity and how to trust who God created you to be. When you know that the Maker made you the way you are and that what He makes is good, then you can trust that He wants you to actually like yourself. The best part is that when you like yourself, you are more effective at everything you do in the world – from achievements to relationships, to just living life. Get the full show notes at

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’ll be talking about:

  1. Some of the reasons why we don’t like ourselves (and what that is doing to us)
  2. 3 ways to start liking yourself – all of which you can do right now
  3. What happens when you actually like yourself 

Do you love the show? We’ve love for you to become an official supporter of The Confidence Podcast by becoming a Patron. We have 17 bonus episodes ready for you to unlock, all for just $5. Go to to get started. 



Look, if you want to like yourself, give yourself and edge of confidence by understanding where you are in the 5 Stages of Confidence. If you’ve never heard my coaching on this before, now’s the time to jump in. I’m re-offering my 5-star rated webinar on How to Have More Confidence. In it you’ll learn the 5 Stages of Confidence, the Confidence Formula, and how to get from one stage of confidence to the next.

Sign up for free at



Heart of Gratitude, kbdaffy, 5 stars

The confidence podcast was recommended to me from a friend and since my first listen, I’ve been all in! Living most of my life convinced I was a victim had me suffocating because of self-criticism, isolation, anxiety and depression. My own mind had been my most limiting factor – I just didn’t know how to do anything about it. I wanted to believe I knew God didn’t want these thoughts and feelings to rule my life but I had no idea how deeply rooted a lot of my limiting beliefs were. I never would have believed that listening to one podcast episode could impact my life so greatly. I’m now part of the COC and doing coaching sessions with Trish. I can honestly say I have never thought about the power of my own thinking as intentionally as I am now. I’ve never experienced true peace in God’s love until this year. Trish, you are one incredible human and God knows I’m so grateful for you and the work you do. Keep on encouraging and being you! God bless. 



-We’re stuck in toxic comparison

-We think we’ll like ourselves when…. (Conditional liking)

-We are so stuck on “there” that we don’t live in our “here”

-We don’t know ourselves – we are too busy to have a relationship 

-We still believe toxic words from other people about who we are

-We put our identity in what we do, not who we are


Not actually liking yourself is a handicap in life.

It prevents you from showing up as your real self, as fully alive and as capable to play the role in the world that you were created to play. It positions you with a victim mindset – whoa is me, everything is hard, if only I were different – and it makes us passive to being able to embrace and control what we can. It poisons our mental wellbeing, driving us into more anxiety-driven behaviors, fear, hiding and self-sabotage. 




-Question what you have taken for granted and assumed

-Question those around you

-Question yourself, take personality tests

-Question what God has you on Earth for

-Question who you are supposed to help

-Question why you reject yourself 


-Through journaling

-Through being bored, not living in a constant state of distraction

-Through trying new things

-Through self-care

-Through exercise and movement

-Through pushing yourself and being okay not knowing what you’re doing


There are three basic ways to start being brave, not perfect 

  1. Being brave means feeling your feelings.
  2. Being brave means that you start before you feel ready.
  3. Being brave means knowing that you can change the volume of certain thoughts in your brain

The best you is not a perfect you, it’s a brave you.

Perfect is boring. Stop chasing what you don’t actually want and what won’t actually fill you.



Self-sabotage becomes less of a snare – the self-anger isn’t there

Self-importance and selfish-ambition have less internal pressure – you have nothing to prove

You’ll feel … free, alive, carefree, like a child, joyful, capable, willing to be brave, giddy, content, peaceful, powerful, and more. 



#408: How to Appear More Confident than You Actually Are

#376: How to Like Yourself in the Mirror More

#375: How to Be Yourself And Not Care What People Think

And for more on being brave, not perfect, you’ll want to check out one of my latest videos on YouTube.

3 Ways to Teach Girls Bravery Not Perfection



If you’ve ever struggled with wanting to know who you are and how to actually like yourself, you won’t want to miss this episode. We’ll be talking about exactly that: how to like yourself. 

Did you know that confidence is simple? If you follow The Confidence Formula in the way we teach in the COC, then it’s as easy as (1). slowing down, (2). simplifying and (3) strategizing … all of which we do right alongside you in the COC. We’re thick into the Back-to-Basics Challenge, implementing the Confidence Formula in the College of Confidence and it’s not too late to join us. It’s back to school, back to basics … something we all need. 

I’ll be coaching you through the following categories, for a full week at a time.


Weight loss




Being Yourself

This is exclusively for students in the College of Confidence. It’s time for you to join us.

Click here to become official ( so that you don’t miss out on these next 6-weeks of the transformational coaching, community and challenge.



Hey Trish! I found the Confidence Podcast two weeks ago and have already listened to more than half of your podcasts! They are so inspiring and have taught me so many things that have already changed my perspective of myself and my life. Im hooked. Thank you so much for doing what you do. I love you! 

I was wondering if you’d be willing to do an episode on how to forgive yourself. Like you and your eating disorder, I spent a huge portion of my life stuck in self-destructive and unhealthy patterns of thought and behavior. How can I forgive myself for being so harmful and find confidence in creating new habits of self-compassion and self-care? 

-Bekah Merchant 



That’s what we’ll be covering next week on The Confidence Podcast! Next topic is going to be how to forgive yourself for self-destructive behaviors.

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