How to Speak Up for Yourself with Confidence

Podcast #411

You have a voice, it’s time to use it. When we don’t use our voices, and don’t speak up for ourselves or for what is right, the world suffers, as do we. It’s time to start speaking with confidence, even if you have never done so before. This podcast episode will hold your hand and then give you the push you need to start speaking up and rising up with confidence. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/411

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’ll be talking about:

1. How we have lost our voice, and the desperate need for it in the world
2. How to have a voice and to start using it
3. How to Speak up to Others (who intimidate you, who manipulate you, who look past you)
4. How to Speak up for Yourself (to yourself, to your past and to your future) 

Do you love the show? We’ve love for you to become an official supporter of The Confidence Podcast by becoming a Patron. We have 17 bonus episodes ready for you to unlock, all for just $5. Go to https://www.patreon.com/TheConfidencePodcast to get started. 

Ready to stop caring what people think? Join us for our free online masterclass -we have live sessions this week. Don’t you think it’s time to be free from being held back because of the stories you tell yourself about what others think of you?  Get your free seat at www.trishblackwell.com/stopcaring

 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK: 

Just started listening … wow.

Emma aaa

This podcast is 11/10. She goes above and beyond in each topic she talks about. I take her advice and run with it in everyday life. Success is ALWAYS guaranteed. Love you, love your word, love the show. 

 

WHY HAVE WE LOST OUR VOICE?

Don’t let what someone said steal your destiny from you.

It’s time to stop aligning yourself with what people have said about you and instead identify yourself by what God says about you. (And He says that you have purpose, you are unique, you are his masterpiece, you are his child, you have specific talent, you are loved, and you are never alone.) 

Typically, there is a moment in our past that we felt unsafe after using our voice. 

-you got made fun of; told that there was something wrong with you

-you said something awkward

-you didn’t have parents or role models who built you up

-you heard more prohibitory language than affirmative language in your house

-you felt overshadowed by another personality you grew up around

-you learned that the people around you weren’t listening, so you felt like it didn’t matter

-you spoke up, but an abuser in your life didn’t listen

Speaking up and using your voice doesn’t feel safe.

But it is less safe to stay silent and to sulk in the shadows of life.

 

What got me started?

1. I knew I had a moral obligation to start speaking up – through writing first, and then speaking. I felt the pull on my soul and in my desire, but it was too hard to do. 
2. I was tremendously uncomfortable and resistant with it – the thought filled me with shame.
3. I saw someone else be brave and it inspired me. (after I spent years hiding the book)
4. I wanted to be someone who did brave things, and I knew how much Roth had helped me, I knew I couldn’t with good conscious stay silent and “safe” anymore. 

Geneen Roth’s Book: 

Breaking Free From Emotional Eating:

https://amzn.to/30iX7QW

 

HOW TO HAVE A VOICE AND START USING IT

You’ll feel the itch. 

But you’ll question your right to itch it.

Go on, itch it, it will relieve something deep in your soul.

We speak up and use our voice, not just for ourselves, but for those like us who still feel stuck and silenced. 

Recognize that what you have to say matters.

Realize that your voice can help others.

Remember that words give life – and bringing yours to the surface births life. 

Start practicing.

Know it will be awkward.

You will feel emotionally exposed and hungover.

It’s okay to feel scared.

The more you do it, the better you will get it at it.

This develops self-trust.

Keep questioning. 

Identify where you haven’t spoken up.

Be okay with being uncomfortable.

Communication is the key to life. 

Confidence in conflict allows you to honor your voice and that of others.

Your voice has power. 

HOW TO SPEAK UP TO OTHERS: 

-To Those Who Intimidate You

Neutralize their power:

Remember, everyone has insecurities.

The people who intimidate often are the most insecure.

Show up for yourself:

Remind yourself that you have as much power and purpose as they do

God is with you, you are not alone; you have a spirit of power, not fear and intimidation

Do one thing every day that scares you – and be okay with them not liking you or whatever your worst case scenario is

-To Those Who Manipulate You 

Neutralize their power:

Stand firm in conflict – be confident in your communication (and take notes for yourself or bullet points if you need to) 

It’s okay to say no, I’m not comfortable with this. 

Be verbal and clear about your boundaries.

Show up for yourself:

Set boundaries and change your expectations

Straighten your crown, sister. 

Respect yourself that you do not tolerate disrespect towards you 

-To Those Who Look Past You

Neutralize their power:

Smile more, speak more, be more visible, remind them that you are there. (don’t play into the mind-game)

Care more about what you think of yourself than what they think of you

Show up for yourself:

Be extraordinary at being you

Be entirely present

Be firm in your convictions 

Be a go-getter, go after what you want with resilience and persistence 

HOW TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF

-To Yourself

I am worth listening to.

I am able to trust myself and explore my own thoughts.

I am willing to take a risk and be brave with my words.

-To Your Past

I am not who I used to be.

I am not defined by what people used to think about me or what I have done. 

I am thankful for what has brought me here – no regrets. 

–To Your Future 

I am confident, I am capable, I am called.

I am adventurous and open – excited to see how I continue to grow

I am bold, brave and with a voice

OTHER EPISODES OF THE CONFIDENCE PODCAST YOU WILL LIKE

How to Ask for What You Want

Episode #393, www.trishblackwell.com/393

The A-Z Guide for Confidence

Episode #302, www.trishblackwell.com/302

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE: 

Dear Trish,

I have been listening to your podcast for a few months now and have been wanting to add to your very bold goal of a thousand reviews. I love your podcast and it has helped me grow immensely. I have shared this podcast with several people now and will continue to because I think your messages are just that powerful. You are a light in this world and your story inspires me to live my life more authentically each day. I am encouraged by your strength in your vulnerability and the work that you do. I am looking into budgeting some money into your college of confidence and I can’t wait to further apply your wisdom.

Your girl,

Elizabeth Baker