Podcast #410

Beating yourself up?

Pull back the curtain of your heart and let’s have a conversation about the pressure you put on yourself. 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we’ll be talking about:

  • How to recognize when you are beating yourself up
  • The 4 primary fears the drive the self-flagellation and guilt 
  • 4 strategies that are proven effective to help break the cycle
  • 10 ways to practice self-kindness if you struggle with beating yourself up 

Do you love the show? We’ve love for you to become an official supporter of The Confidence Podcast by becoming a Patron. We have 17 bonus episodes ready for you to unlock, all for just $5. Go to to get started. 


Beating yourself up seems like the most common way to tackle our problems but instead, it hinders your growth. Here are some reasons (aka fears) why you are beating yourself up.

Fear of not being enough.-over-attachment to affirmation and culturally defined success (Lack and fixed mindset!) 

Fear of being discovered as defective.-speak about beauty, makeup, shame, etc, i just wasn’t taught and wasn’t built up in this way (Inadequacy and shame!) 

Fear of not actually being motivated-what if you need the pressure and the inner-bully? lack of self-trust (Laziness!)

Fear of not being able to change.-I engaged in this behavior for years because I felt like I was letting God down, and then I felt overlooked by God because He wasn’t healing me from my struggle in the way I wanted or expected; I was afraid I was broken and unable to change or be changed. (Guilt!) 



Use these strategies to stop beating yourself up today.
So What Strategy
-So what, everything will work out just fine and now I get to pivot and learn
Even If, I Will Statements
-Even if this is botched and I’m behind, I will still be loved, etc. 
-21-Day Toxic Thought Freedom Journal, get yours free at
Becoming a Student of Life
-Growth mindset, learning in everything, trusting God with your transformation, celebrating growth, letting Jesus be my teacher and learning to surrender 



1. Be a friend to yourself – slow down, be present, be nice. 

2. Put a higher value on kindness

3. Remember that being mean doesn’t work 

4. Focus on more positive self-talk

5. Write out a daily truth or verse

6. Practice patience with yourself and others

7. Accept your challenges as opportunities

8. Get an aerial view – there’s no right way to do anything, there’s always a pivot

9. Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed10. Do a distraction detox 



How to Stop Being So Self-Critical, Episode #345
Why Beating Yourself Up Doesn’t Work, Episode #277


Did you know that confidence is simple? If you follow The Confidence Formula in the way we teach in the COC, then it’s as easy as (1). slowing down, (2). simplifying and (3) strategizing … all of which we do right alongside you in the COC. We’re thick into the Back-to-Basics Challenge, implementing the Confidence Formula in the College of Confidence and it’s not too late to join us. It’s back to school, back to basics … something we all need. 

I’ll be coaching you through the following categories, for a full week at a time.


Weight loss




Being Yourself

This is exclusively for students in the College of Confidence. It’s time for you to join us. Click here to become official so that you don’t miss out on these next 6-weeks of the transformational coaching, community, and challenge.



Additionally, I’m deep behind the scenes right now preparing a brand new multi-module course and coaching experience on How to Teach Girls Confidence. It will be released in the College of Confidence in October … which means that now is the perfect time to enroll.

Confidence is a mental skill set that can be developed and nurtured at any age. It is never too early and never too late to teach confidence to someone – wherever someone is in their confidence journey that is the perfect place to start. Confidence is a life-long adventure and exploration, and the more the skill is strengthened, the more courageously the person will be able to show up in life. This course will equip you with the tools to categorically teach confidence to girls and women of any age and at any stage. The modules start with a general overview of how to teach confidence, in the module Confidence Fundamentals for Teaching. Then, you’ll learn more specifically how to dial in your confidence coaching in the other modules, learning how to teach Confidence in Identity, Confidence in Ability, Confidence in Intellect, Confidence in Athletics, and Confidence in Personality. This is the course that is a launchpad for you to confidently and effectively boost and support the confidence growth of the girls and women in your life while growing your own confidence as well. 



Hi Trish! 

I just wanted to thank you for your podcast and all that you do. I stumbled upon The Confidence Podcast when I was still a young girl in 8th grade. I had been struggling with an eating disorder for the past year and finally hit my breaking point when I knew I couldn’t go on depriving myself of food forever. I knew I had to make a change, so I scoured the internet for self-help resources. Your smiling face on the cover of your podcast was calling me, so I gave one of the episodes a listen, and was blown away with what you had to say. I binge-listened whenever I could, and your voice and encouragement pulled me out of the depths of my eating disorder and healed my broken spirit. I am now a senior in high school and have a daily habit of stretching and praying in the morning, doing one thing every day that scares me, journaling, taking action, making it my priority to be the best me that I can be, and loving others. I still listen to The Confidence Podcast every day in the car on the way to school, and it helps me to be present in that day. You have made such a difference in my life and I believe that God brought your podcast to me for a reason. You truly have a calling for this. Thank you again times a million. 


Anna K.

P.S. I love seeing your posts pop up on my Instagram feed. They always make me smile and give me extra encouragement!

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