YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC? HERE’S HOW TO STOP. 

Podcast #394

Being your own worst critic is a recipe for low self-esteem, heightened anxiety and a life of frustration. You can learn how to stand up to your inner bully and how to start talking back to the bully in an effective way. This podcast episode will teach you how to do just that. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/394

This week on The Confidence Podcast we’re talking about:

• What is actually going on when you are hyper-self-critical or have mean internal self-talk
• How to stop being so self-critical and your own worst enemy – 10 things you can start to do right away
• 8 sample sentences that work when it comes to talking back to the inner critic or bully

SPONSORSHIP NOTE:

How to Stop Caring What People Think Webinar

Save your spot at www.trishblackwell.com/stopcaring

Our most popular episodes here on The Confidence Podcast are always around the same topic: how to stop caring what people think.  So, ya’ll, I’m going deeper on this topic than ever before.

What you’ll learn….

In this 20-minute webinar, you’ll learn how to stop getting distracted from your dreams and purpose because of what people *might* think about you.

When I finally learned let go of caring too much what other people *might think* the gateways of success opened! The tools I am going to teach you have allowed me to  write 3 best-selling books, win the North Face Trail Marathon, build a solid 6-figure online coaching business, and reach millions of people around the world with encouragement 

If you’re ready to push play on your purpose with confidence and freedom, then this webinar is for you.  In class we’ll cover…

• The real issue and how to tackle it. You’ll learn how caring too much what people think is so destructive to our happiness and why we get trapped into this toxic pattern of thinking.
• The first 3 things you can do right now to change how you feel. You’ll learn 3 things you can start doing differently right away to get free from the restriction of caring what people think
• The easiest way to go after your purpose with total confidence.You’ll get advice on the exact next-steps to take to have more confidence and courage to go after your dreams without being distracted or delayed by comparison, overthinking or self-doubt.

HISTORICAL NOTE:

I live in Virginia, close to DC, and at the time of this recording, the cornavirus is hitting my area exceptionally hard, and the streets are flooded at night with both peaceful protests and violent riots. Conflict is everywhere – pain is rampant – people are trying to do the right thing and being upturned by opportunists who are looting and destroying towns. We are desperate for racial reconcilation and equal rights – for proper judiciary justice and for the abolition of racial profiling. Good and love are pouring out from all ethnicities – and in the same areas, those groups also have representatives spewing hate.

Hate destroys everything.

I record today with the thought of what bullying does – what hatred does.

Our world is groaning in pain. It feels like it’s swirling and intensifying, making it easy to feel uncertain of how to move forward. I ache alongside you, and simply hope to offer a few notes of encouragement for you to tuck into your heart this week. 

Confidence is the state of heart of being able to walk with certainty in a life that is filled with uncertainty. So, with that in mind, here are some simple reminders of ways to remain confident and secure no matter what swirls around you or what tomorrow brings.

The one thing that is certain is that we have absolutely no idea what will happen tomorrow, or next week or next month. To create certainty in your life, create habits and thoughts that make you better, and that makes those around you better.

• Love wins, and the love you put out into the world is needed now more than ever.
• Repair the despair around you by living with an open and generous
• Chaos can be calmed when you choose to think, act, and love with courage.
• Pause the spiraling and soften the pit in your stomach by taking the reign of your brain. Train your thoughts daily. (And if you don’t know how to do this, we’ll teach you, step-by-step in the College of Confidence.)

More than anything, know this:

You are loved.

Your voice matters.

You can make a difference, one loving decision at a time.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Life Changing! 5 Stars by SavannRae

I wish I had discovered The Confidence Podcast sooner. This is exactly what I’ve needed, especially the episodes on not caring what people think…thank you, Trish, for helping me find a life with less anxiety and pressure.

SELF-BULLYING AND SELF-CRITICISM IS HATRED

Look, you can’t serve the world in the big way that you were created to unless you can first get past your own hatred. My call to arms for you today isn’t to help you detox self-criticism and that inner self-talk to help you “feel better” and “be happier.” Yes, will that be a by-product? Absolutely. But what I am interested in is what that will lead to.

When you drop the inner-bully, a veil is lifted and your light can shine out into the world.

I believe that the inner-self-critic keeps 50% of your love from the world. You can’t love others well, and selflessly and wholeheartedly unless you first have learned to love yourself. You can’t fight hate with love effectively on a larger scale unless you have done that on a micro-scale, a more personal scale within yourself.

OK, SO HOW TO STOP BEING SO SELF-CRITICAL?

I want you to saturate your mind in love.

I’m not talking the woo-woo, I love-myself-because-I-create-my-own-destiny love. I am talking about the love you can extend to yourself because you know that the creator of all things chose specifically to create you.

Let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. -1 John 4:7

Some practical ways:

1. Journal
2. Ask God to help you see.
3. Build others up, this will boomerang back to you
4. Track your wins, or champagne moments
5. Ground yourself in gratitude
6. Find 100 things to love about yourself – make a list
7. Identify which thoughts about yourself serve you and move you towards love, and which ones don’t
8. Train your thoughts intentionally and with structure – get mentally and emotionally fit
9. Smile at yourself in the mirror
10. Touch the parts of your body that you are most quick to criticize

TALKING BACK TO THE BULLY

Here are 8 sample ways you can say back to the inner bully when you are feeling like you’re being punched – or you feel that urge to turtle-up, retreat from the world and feel sorry for yourself.

1. I can do hard things, even emotionally hard things, and I am determined to be nice to myself right now.
2. I walk in love, and there is no hatred within me. I relinquish and release anything that does not align with love within me.
3. I am no longer my own worst-enemy, I’m an ally and friend and I’m doing better than I think I am.
4. I am proud of myself for showing up and daring to be me.
5. I am not afraid of failure; for failure is simply feedback, and so I will not beat myself up – I will lean into failure and will fail fast, fail forward and fail often.
6. I walk in peace and joy and my face will not be covered in shame, especially self-imposed shame or rejection – for I am loved by the King of everything.
7. I do not need to be embarrassed, to overthink, or to spiral – I am committed to living, to being brave, to owning my missteps and to walking in kindness.
8. I am thankful for how I can now see my thoughts and I will now take these negative ones and reject them, for they do not serve me and they will not bully me.

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE 

Straight off the streets of Instgram – and if we’re not connecting over there yet, come hang out, m’kay? I’m @trish_blackwell there.

Thanks Trish!!
I listen to your podcast multiple days a week. I started to listen in November and it has literally changed my life! You have inspired me to pursue the career I always wanted. I quit the job that was not bringing me joy and I enrolled in an interior decorator course that I absolutely love. You have helped guide me to a closer relationship with god and I have started to see myself the way he sees me. I am so much happier then I have been in a long time and more of myself! I have found my motivation and excitement for life again. I’m forever grateful to you!

I would love to write a review for you but I’m not sure where the best place is to do so!

Hilary Van Ravens @vanravensdesigns

ANNOUNCEMENT: 

Ready to go to next level, make today the day you officially become a student of training your thoughts. Join the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com