HOW TO STOP PUTTING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF
Putting pressure on yourself doesn’t get you better results in life. Pressure just increases stress and makes you overwhelmed. This episode will teach you how to be nicer to yourself and how to use positive motivation instead of negative pressure.
In this podcast episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re talking about:
- The ways in which we put pressure on ourselves, and what it does to us
- Why we put pressure on ourselves
- How to stop the pressure-cycle for good and have more happiness
If you haven’t yet gotten your hands on my morning journal, the Freedom Journal, there’s no better time than now to deepen your morning routine with God. This 8-minute/day process, which I’ll teach you for free, obviously, is the place to start. Get it now at www.trishblackwell.com/freedomjournal
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
Keep on doing you – 5 stars by LoveyaLongThyme
Trish has been teaching me how to slow down and really pay attention to life. She is always opening my eyes and giving great tips on making the most of our time on earth. Her spiritual podcasts were my favorite! No matter what she talks about it somehow helps me and I highly encourage people to give it a listen! My only critique is I cannot hear her in my car because her tone is so soft and soothing. Thank the Lord for Trish and Bluetooth headphones. Keep doing you, Trish!
WHY WE PUT PRESSURE ON OURSELVES
Peel back the onion and don’t just use the cop-out of personality.
Some of it is our wiring, but most of it is a belief system.
As a little girl I believed I could fix my family’s problems if I was just good enough, just successful enough.
What about you?
Dr. Leaf www.drleaf.com
Dr. Leaf’s TED Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjhANyrKpv8
3 MAIN TYPES OF PRESSURE WE PUT ON OURSELVES:
PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT
There is a difference between high achievement and perfection.
Desire to be a certain weight, or parent or achiever.
PRESSURE TO BE SUCCESSFUL
There is a line between a full life and an overwhelmed life
Desire to be impressive, to be admired, to be applauded, to be the best.
PRESSURE TO BE LIKED.
We are wired for connection, but trying to get people to like you is like chasing the wind.
Desire to be popular and praised, to have a guarantee that will never be lonely.
The main three lies we believe (part of the basics of Psychiatry 101):
PUTTING PRESSURE ON YOURSELF JUST DOESN’T WORK
It fills your life with:
And feelings of:
Being less than
Being constantly behind
The more pressure you put on yourself, the more prone you will be to the toxic cycle of self-sabotage.
We weren’t created to live in a pressure cooker – we are wired for wild adventure and encouragement.
How to Stop Being So Self-Critical, #366
How to be Free from People Pleasing, #324
How to Increase Confidence Through Self-Compassion, #321
Those anxieties on your heart this morning? I hear them too. I know you felt them when you woke, and when you tossed and turned last night. I get it. Because I have them too.
Anxiety is part of the human condition, but it does not have to be the condition that reigns the directives of your life. It’s okay that you hear them shouting at you, but you need to know that their shouts are empty threats.
The fight for our faith is the most important fight in our lives. For me, as someone who battled anxiety for decades, the battle happens in my thoughts. I am victorious, not because I am strong, but because I am strong in the truth and promises that God has given me.
He has those promises for you too.
I have to revisit those truths every day, and you will need to too. Here are some of the ones that run in my brain, with the response I use to talk back to myself below the anxious thought.
- Anxious thought:I am not able to do this – today is going to be hard…
- God’s promise of peace:I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I do not have to do this all on my own.
- Anxious thought:I am not enough…
- God’s promise of peace:When I am weak, God is strong. I am not enough on my own, and I do not have to be. I am enough because I am child of God. God doesn’t just love me, He chases me with His love.
- Anxious thought:I wish I was were skinnier…and prettier ….
- God’s promise of peace:My body as it is today is a gift from God. Picking it apart only insults the God who created me. I am beautiful in a way unique to me and I will let the inner light of my beauty shine brightly and boldly today.
- Anxious thought:I am not making enough money, I need to do more, be better…
- God’s promise of peace:God provides my every need. I am no longer a slave to proving myself, to striving, or to chasing success without purpose. God is my way-maker and because He is faithful and generous to those who trust in Him and walk in faith. I walk in abundance – and will always walk in abundance – in every season of my life.
- Anxious thought:I wish I would stop being distracted at night…
- God’s promise of peace: God is helping me see where I can be refined, and I refuse to beat myself up over where I can improve. Instead, I will celebrate that I see with more clarity. I am thankful that God is helping me transform my life through my habits, one small habit at a time.
- Anxious thought:I am too tired…
- God’s promise of peace:I walk with energy and light because my source of renewal is an inexhaustible source. God invites me to restore my soul in green pastures, and I will always be replenished. I may feel fatigued, but I have faith that I will have my needs met in full every day.
- Anxious thought:I am too sensitive …
- God’s promise of peace:I am thankful for the sensitivity God wove into my heart. The emotional depth He gave me is a gift and gives me empathy, connection, and understanding. I will not walk in shame of how God made me.
Hopefully, these fill your week with peace. May the promise of peace that God gives us to be the foundation of every thought that passes through your heart this week.
Fab Fit Fun Box
Alright ya’ll, I’ve got to pause our coaching for a moment to let you in on a fab, fit and fun secret … I’m currently obsessed with my new Fab Fit Fun box subscription. I seriously didn’t think I would ever find a company that aligned with who I am and what I like as much as I do with Fab Fit Fun. And best of all, as a busy entrepreneur with two kids under the age of four, let’s be honest, I am on the struggle bus when it comes to finding time to shop for myself and my self-care. FabFitFun is self-care made simple!
My FabFitFun box gets delivered right to my door, so no more wasted time searching for my new favorite thing – the team at FabFitFun already know what’s trending and, plus I get to customize my subscription so I get exactly the items that I know I’ll like and use. Time saved means more time with my kids, and that’s the biggest win I could ask for in my book. Once at season you just visit their website and start customizing your own box. For example, would you rather have the Unhide faux fur blanket or the Rebecca Minkoff beanie set? In just a few minutes, you’l have curated your perfect box, ready to be shipped to your doorstep for your very own unboxing moment.
The seasonal boxes come filled with 8-10 FULL-SIZED beauty, fitness, home and wellness products from some of my favorite brands, all for just 49.99 … and ya’ll, the box is filled with over $200 of product. Yes, you did that math right, it’s like getting the newest, trendest, fab fit and fun things you want for 75% off. And since we’re such good friends I’ve gotten my friends at FabFitFun to extend a gift to you … use coupon code “TRISH” for $10 off your first box at www.fabfitfun.com. That’ll get you $200+ in product for just $39.99.
I’m pretty obsessed with my winter box that just came and you can bet that you’ll see me Rebecca Minkoff beanie set all over my social media, it’s so cute. Get yourself the Winter Box, I promise you won’t be disappointed. Just go to www.fabfitfun.com and use coupon code “TRISH” for $10 off your first box.
HOW TO STOP PUTTING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF
I follow a few methodologies:
Be you and be the best you.
-But the best you isn’t about doing or achievement, it’s about the whole character and your place in this world.
-Be yourself, not an imitation of someone else – don’t wish away your personality, but do work on your personality – let the best parts shine and let God prune the tarnished parts out.
Be responsible for what you have control over.
-I am responsible only for what God breathed into me.
-My attitude, my words, my thoughts, my exposure to things
-Resist looking out – look inward.
Be focused on the right thing.
-Let mercy and goodness chase you.
-Saturate your life in grace, kindness, mercy
-Leaving a legacy that matters – and looking at what is eternal, not temporary
Be hopeful, humble and happy.
-I choose to trust His plan; He’s my CEO, my coach.
-I want to be a prisoner of hope
-I decided to never be disappointed with the gift of life that the day holds.
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)
Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you. (Zechariah 9:12)
GET OUT OF OLD THINKING AND INTO SOMETHING NEW
My old thinking:
life is hard, it will always be a struggle, i’ll never have enough, i’ll always have to strive and compete, I’ll always not like my body,
My new thinking:
I live in the land of milk and honey. Rest is not a luxury, it’s a gift and necessity. The God of the universe delights in me. What more could I need. He’s promised to meet all my needs – I shall have no wants, no fears and no need to prove myself.
I should have done better.
I am thankful for what I learned from my efforts.
I could have made better decisions.
I am thankful for the courage I have and am growing.
I wish things had worked out better – what did I do wrong?
I am thankful that life is an adventure and that God has me where He wants me.
I would be happier with myself if I just could fix this problem.
I am thankful for who I am right now and am hopeful and eager and confident and patient in who I am becoming.
I keep making the same mistakes.
I am thankful for how deep I am going in learning and relearning a lesson that will take me far and I am excited about what my future holds as I humbly and gracefully accept change.
Breakout, final offer.
We’re pulling my signature program, Breakout, off the shelves. It’s been a life-changing, habit-transforming and confidence-launching program for so many people over the past four years.
As of December 12, 2019, it will no longer be available for purchase.
But, until then, you can get it and everything that comes with it…including 2 private coaching calls with me … for just $397.
In 2020 you will see Breakout come back, with some updates, and an updated price tag of $1,997. Anyone who enrolls now will get access to the upgrades to come.
So, if you’ve been looking for a structured 30-day personal development program, look no further.
In Breakout you will progress through 4 modules and will get daily coaching assignments. If you have felt stuck, caged, anxiety, pressure or uncertainty in your life, then this is the program for you.
In just 30-days you will find yourself become a new person, filled with clarity and confidence, just in time to start 2020 with a bold bang.
Get Breakout for just $397 before it disappears. Go to www.trishblackwell.com/breakout
ALSO, ARE YOU PLANNING OUT YOUR 2020?
I only have room for 3 new clients in the new year – do you want to be one of them? If so, save your January coaching spot now by reaching out to me. My coaching packages range between $350 and $1100/month. If you know you want coaching, but private coaching isn’t in the budget, well, then, that’s EXACTLY why I created the College of Confidence. I invite you to come and become a student and member … and get to be part of our group coaching experience for just $57/month.
Become a student in the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
Thank you. Thank you so much, I truly needed this today. I’m so grateful I found your podcast, I was in a deep place and listening to you have brought some light to my life that I didn’t think I would see again.