Podcast #349

HEALTHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION: HOW TO DO IT WITH CONFIDENCE

Communicating well through conflict resolution is a healthy manifestation of a confident person with congruent relationship management. 

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re chatting about: 

• How to communicate and speak up for yourself with confidence (and without being pushy or emotional)
• 8 Ways to navigate healthy conflict resolution
• The challenge of being in conflict with yourself and how to work through it

SPONSOR NOTE: 

MY FREE MASTERCLASS ON CONFIDENCE.

Here’s what’s different:

• It’s short and sweet. (30-minutes!)
• It shows you how to get your next breakthrough. (Um, amen, right?!)
• It’s is free of any sound/tech issues. (Hallelujah!)

And since I know you’re all about your personal growth and your next breakthrough right now, you gotta jump into this!

Grab a spot, we have a session with some seats still open today! Go to www.trishblackwell.com/webinar and register. I’ll send you a free workbook to go along with the masterclass, so check your email as soon as you register … this is a POWER-PACKED PUNCH to your confidence.

I’m convinced that this is the start of your next breakthrough.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Joyful Living Spaces (www.joyfullivingspaces.com)

I cannot say enough about The Confidence Podcast. Trish is my go-to-girl, mentor, coach, motivator, spiritual leader, mom-friend, woman and friend. Her podcast provides me with shade in the heat, light in the dark, faith for the Lord and energy in the chaos of the life we all live and love. If you do not have this one on your daily list, you are missing out!!! 5 stars isn’t enough!

HOW TO COMMUNICATE AND SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF WITH CONFIDENCE

Conflict becomes larger than it needs to be from poor communication.

Always be communicating (ABC)

Communication is an art form and something to practice daily and progressively.

Seek examples of healthy communication and look to healthy dialogue.

Don’t apologize for your perception of something or your preferences – but communicate them fairly and with balanced emotion or expanded flexibility.

Remember – all relationships, from parent-child, to spouse-to-spouse, to friend-to-friend, to co-worker-to-co-worker, are growing. Communication waters a relationship and gives it life, lack of communication will make it whither when the sun shines brightly.

Seek to learn and listen as much as you seek to be understood and heard. 

8 WAYS TO NAVIGATE HEALTHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION

STICK TO THE ISSUE

don’t add in other issues or overcomplicate

LEAD WITH GRACE

grace and positive assumptions

AVOID OUTLANDISH STATEMENTS

like “never” “always”, etc.

WORK TO FIGHT FAIR

listen, take turns, give space, communicate, resolve to express love, always

KEEP A SHORT LIST OF OFFENSES

stand up for what is right, but learn to let go of what doesn’t matter

remember that you are flawed too and have hurt others, keeping track of hurts doesn’t serve anyone. it can help guide you for boundary setting, but shouldn’t be held against people. 

AFFIRM THE RELATIONSHIP 

Affirm the relationship before clearly defining the problem. For example, “Our relationship is important to me. But when you don’t return my calls, I feel rejected and unimportant.” Avoid blaming the other person and saying, “You make me feel…” Instead, say, “When you do ‘A’, I feel ‘B’.”Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, How to Have That Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding (Grand Rapids: Zondervan0 2005), 51.

PLAN TIME AND DON”T PUT IT OFF / LET IT FESTER 

festered hearts are ugly, and though it’s easier to sweep things under the rug, it will do more damage to you than to the person in conflict 

WORK FOR A MUTUAL SOLUTION

there’s never just one party at fault – it takes two to be in relationship and two to come into resolution 

THE CHALLENGE OF BEING IN CONFLICT WITH YOURSELF (AND HOW TO RESOLVE IT)

What if the conflicting relationship isn’t with someone else, but from within yourself?

I’d love for you to take my recent course, available only to members of the College of Confidence, called Tapping into Your Purpose. In our workbook associated with that course we have coaching exercises and journaling prompts intended to help you figure how who you are and what you value and want in life.

You’ve got to get to know yourself in order to be able to communicate with and listen to yourself. It’s a relationship, aside from your relationship with God, the most important relationship in your life. The more you explore getting to know yourself, the more effectively you’ll be able to communicate.

We yearn for congruency and consistently. Often, we experience internal conflict when we want something but we do something else. Or, when we feel the weight of fogginess and aren’t sure what we want – feeling pulled multiple directions.

Here are a few ways to step out:

Make some time for quiet and journaling.

Learn to be still with your own thoughts.

Get God involved to help you figure out what is on your heart.

Pick a daily affirmation.

Visualize the person you are becoming, not who you have been.

Know your values.

Adopt the character traits that matter to you and cling to them.

Keep your word to yourself (and get a coach for accountability).

ANNOUNCEMENTS 

I am cheering you on – if you’ve been thinking about getting a coach, or about taking this confidence thing / personal development thing to the next level, then I want to personally invite you to join us in The College of Confidence (www.collegeofconfidence.com).

Membership is cancel-at-anytime, you can come for a month or stay for years … it’s the Netflix of life coaching, all at the affordable monthly cost of $57/month. I’m so confident in the life-changing, mindset-transforming power of the COC, I offer a 30-day-money-back guarantee.

Aren’t you just curious?  Read some of our member wins and testimonials at www.collegeofconfidence.com/reviews

You have nothing to lose, why don’t you come and give us a try?!

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE: 

What would you tell your younger self? I started my business at 27 and I have never looked back. But if I could go back and tell that spring chicken ONE thing, it would be:⠀
“You’re going to fail hard and fast, and it’s okay because creating a successful business that changes peoples’ lives isn’t for the faint of heart. You won’t have all the answers and you will make mistakes, very public ones, and it is all part of the process and the growth that God’s got in mind for you. Embrace it, chase failure and be thankful for the opportunity to put your heart on the line every day. Most of all, God loves and delights in you because of who you are, not because of what you do. “️
If I knew that, I’d have asked for help a lot sooner and been bolder in trusting myself as I figured out this entrepreneur thing. However, I’m thankful for my journey… it made me into the coach I am today. I still pinch myself that I get to spend my working hours helping women use words and thoughts to create freedom, joy, and confidence in their lives. ⠀
How about you, friend, what would you tell your younger self?⠀

Hilary Breckbill Woodford. 

God has given you a tremendous gift! These are words of wisdom and I am encouraged to just stick the race and focus on the prize ahead. Thank you for sharing that!