Podcast #345

HOW TO STOP BEING SO SELF-CRITICAL

Beating yourself and being self-critical is the more surefire way to ensure that you stay stuck in whatever it is that is frustrating to you about yourself or your life.

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re chatting about: 

• Why we have convinced ourselves that beating ourselves up is effective motivation for change
• Why beating ourselves up doesn’t work – and what it is really doing to you
• How to stop the crazy cycle of pressure and self-beratement so that you can actually create change in your life.

SPONSOR NOTE: 

MY FREE MASTERCLASS ON CONFIDENCE. 

Here’s what’s different:

• It’s short and sweet. (30-minutes!)
• It shows you how to get your next breakthrough. (Um, amen, right?!)
• It’s is free of any sound/tech issues. (Hallelujah!)

And since I know you’re all about your personal growth and your next breakthrough right now, you gotta jump into this!

Grab a spot, we have a session with some seats still open today! Go to www.trishblackwell.com/webinar and register. I’ll send you a free workbook to go along with the masterclass, so check your email as soon as you register … this is a POWER-PACKED PUNCH to your confidence.

I’m convinced that this is the start of your next breakthrough.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK: 

Maria Bradley

It’s about time I just take a moment and say THANK YOU and just write a dang review! I am so grateful I found your podcast. After listening for a while I finally became a member of the College of Confidence. I love having your happy voice at the touch of a button. It’s like having a little bit of sunshine in my pocket. Things I love about this podcast: positive – encouraging – inspiring – life-changing. Seriously, thank you!!

WHY WE THINK BEATING OURSELVES UP IS EFFECTIVE 

Perfectionistic mindset – one of the toxic side-effects of believing our worth is based off our performance. “Why Perfectionism Prevents You from Being Confident” > listen to the episode at www.trishblackwell.com/335

We measure the wrong things.

Measurement by looking outward instead of looking inward.

It’s a lack of belief and self-trust … that we doubt our ability to show up, to follow-through and that our efforts can be multiplied.

WHY SELF-CRITICISM DOESN’T WORK (AND WHAT IT’S REALLY DOING TO YOU) 

The more pressure we put on ourselves, the more poorly we typically do.

The art of freedom is to live without being restrained … and pressure restrains us.

Personal example: Pressing myself and shaming myself to stop overeating and binge eating. The self-hatred I had about changing my body was the mean push I thought I needed to actually change. The harder I pushed, the meaner I was, the worse I felt and the more I swang in the pendulum.

HOW TO STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP AND HOW TO USE THE STRATEGY OF BEING NICE TO YOURSELF AS A WAY TO ACTIVATE CHANGE

1. Be radical – dare to try something different.

-Admit that what you’re doing isn’t working.

2. Look for modules to emulate

-Be inspired, study their example

3. Desire congruency

-You’re not actually a nice person if you’re not first nice to yourself

4. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

-It’s going to feel weird, and like you’re doing something wrong; like it shouldn’t have been this easy and this obvious

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 

I am cheering you on – if you’ve been thinking about getting a coach, or about taking this confidence thing / personal development thing to the next level, then I want to personally invite you to join us in The College of Confidence (www.collegeofconfidence.com).

Membership is cancel-at-anytime, you can come for a month or stay for years … it’s the Netflix of life coaching, all at the affordable monthly cost of $57/month. I’m so confident in the life-changing, mindset-transforming power of the COC, I offer a 30-day-money-back guarantee.

Aren’t you just curious?  Read some of our member wins and testimonials at www.collegeofconfidence.com/reviews

You have nothing to lose, why don’t you come and give us a try?!

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE: 

Excellent email my soul sister!

• You are good at doing hard things.

Haha….ain’t that the truth… but the immediate question this drew up was “but am I good at allowing things to be easy?”

Life in balance, I’ve proven (over & over again), that I am terrific at doing hard things, 

but I’m not so great at not doing.

We are human beings, not human doings…

I have to keep reminding myself of that!

Thanks for this email and everything else that you offer the world

Sparkle on soul sister!!

Susie