WHY PERFECTIONISM PREVENTS YOU FROM BEING CONFIDENT

Podcast #335

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re chatting about:

• What is perfectionism and do you struggle with it?
• How to stop being a perfectionist
• The toxic relationship between perfectionism and low-confidence
• How to go into recovery with perfectionism so it doesn’t hold you back any longer.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

LeHumanite, “Thanks.” 5-Stars.

This is my little contribution to your 1000 reviews goal. Thanks for all the work you put into sharing your thoughts with us. Whenever I’m feeling down or in doubt of myself this podcast comes to the rescue, helping me to find peace and joy. I’m not religious, but even those episodes which are lighten my heart.

SPONSORSHIP NOTE:

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Grab a spot, we have a session with some seats still open today! Go to www.trishblackwell.com/webinar and register. I’ll send you a free workbook to go along wiht the masterclass, so check your email as soon as you register … this is a POWER-PACKED PUNCH to your confidence.

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WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM AND DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH IT?

What is Perfectionism? 

A refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

What about Perfectionists?

In psychology, perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by “a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.” (https://personalexcellence.co/blog/perfectionism/)

Moving finish line.

Perfectionism is a manifestation of comparison.

Manifestations of Perfectionism:

All-or-nothing approach

Extremely high standards

Being extremely hard on oneself

Excessive negativity or self-pressure

Refusal to start unless absolutely prepared

The character of inflexibility, control and judgment

It’s all about the end result

Moving finish line of standards

Success is never enough

You’re never doing enough

Hyper-critical of mistakes and details that others don’t even notice

Fear of failure – lack of desire to start / avoidance

Unrealistic standards

Self-critical and low self-esteem

Frequent fear of disapproval

High level of anxiety

My Relationship with Perfectionism:

I’m currently in recovery, a recovering perfectionist

Attempt to control my life and plan my future

Expressed lack of trust in God’s goodness

Warped understanding of love and why I was loved – for what I do instead of for who I am

Therapy helped me pursue the land of grey and the idea of excellence

I used to take great pride in being a perfectionism – it was a crutch for me, a crippling one.

THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PERFECTIONISM AND LOW CONFIDENCE

At its core, perfectionism believes that one’s worth is associated with one’s performance and ability to be as close to perfect as possible. Perfectionism is, therefore, a belief that you are valuable based on what you do, not upon who you are.

Challenging Thought:

Do you love the people in your life because of who they are or because of what they do?

Perfectionism gives rise to low confidence because …

It robs you of your identity as a human

It pulls you out of the love of a God who is filled with grace and mercy

It puts you into a constant state of competition

It convinces you to not start or that you’re not enough or ready

It focuses your attention on what you are doing wrong instead of what you are doing right

It traps you into a limited / set mindset instead freeing you into a growth mindset

It creates a mentality saturated with judgment and criticism

It establishes a baseline of negativity

It suffocates freedom, peace, presence and joy because it always feels pressure

It prevents you from thriving in the flow and stepping into your calling

It separates you from God

HOW TO GO INTO RECOVERY FOR PERFECTIONISM

1. Get a therapist or work with a coach
2. Decide to draw a line in the sand of your personal story.
3. Embrace change.
4. Pursue grey.
5. Obsess over kindness.
6. Shift into a growth mindset vs. fixed mindset.
7. Understand who you are – not just what you do.
8. Taste the love and delight the Creator has for you.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

You can’t think your way into being more confident, you have to act your way into it (meaning, take action on whatever it is that you are overthinking)!

So, don’t “think” about clicking on these links or about taking my new webinar … do it! Here’s the link to the webinar registration, it’s the best place to start >>> www.trishblackwell.com/webinar

LISTENER OF THE WEEK: 

Lissy Correa

Trish! You are amazing! You ahve made such an impact in my life and whenever I need you most … you know exactly what to say to help me take action and keep pushing forward! Thank you for what you do You truly have a alling for this! I”m so thankful that I came across your podcast. I tell everyone about it.