In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re chatting about:
This week’s podcast is brought to you by my new free masterclass, How to Have More Confidence. Listen, if you think the podcast is good, you haven’t been in class with me yet. I spent months curating the teaching I poured into this masterclass and I am so proud of how simple, clear and strategic the activation of confidence can be. In the class, you’ll learn what the three biggest mistakes people make with confidence are and what the three most important things you should be doing for your confidence are … what I call The Confidence Formula. Learn what stage of confidence you are actually in, and then how to get to the next stage so that getting to where you want to be and to how you want to feel doesn’t feel overwhelming.
Everyone needs to listen to this show! Trish Blackwell is so gifted at encouragement it brings me to tears at just about every episode. I’ve labeled myself a “people pleaser” for a while, seeing there is a good heart that goes with it, but not seeing/knowing how to dig myself out of the hole of anxiety that goes with it. Trish will be the first to tell you that you won’t ever make everyone happy. Trish will teach you to stop apologizing to liking pink (hehe, mine is ugly olive green). Trish will teach you to stop caring what others think. Trish will inspire tangible steps towards the best “you” you can be in all realms (parent, spouse, friend, worker, boss). Trish digs deep into research to give you the best content every week and her transparency to share her own struggles is so incredibly powerful. I’m so thankful for her strong yet gentlefolks words as I commute to work. It puts me in a good mood to continue to “bloom where I’m planted.” Give this show a listen if you care to give this world a better you!
What does turning guilt into gratitude mean?
Stop the cycle of shame > it perpetuates the cycle of self-sabotage
Instead, turn guilt into gratitude and into grace.
We can find gratitude when we look through the lens of learning.
As long as we are learning, we are growing.
As long as we are growing, we can feel confident and proud of ourselves.
As long as we feel confident, we will feel courageous.
As long as we feel courageous, we will take action.
As long as we take action, we will be consistent.
As long as we are consistent, we will never fail.
This practice can be implemented with not exercising, with letting someone down, with over-eating or something that makes you feel disappointed in yourself, in not doing your to-do list to your personal expectation…and more. You can let go of feeling guilty.
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Back in 2013 I did a quick blog post on a concept that was really rocking my work – the difference between “have to” and “get to” in our internal self-talk. Too often, the conversation in my mind was one that started with “have to.” This totally helps with thoughts and the pressure of feeling guilty.
I have to work out.
I have to eat less sugar.
I have to empty the dishwasher.
I have to work.
I have to pay my bills.
I have to grocery shop.
I have to have an uncomfortable conversation.
I have to blow dry my hair.
I have to get up when I don’t want to.
I have to do things in my job I don’t like.
I have to walk the dog.
Everything shifted in how I viewed not only myself but also the world when I substituted the words “have to” with the words “get to.”
I get to workout and move my body.
I get to choose what I eat and choose to fuel myself with healthy food.
I get to have clean water and electricity to have clean dishes.
I get to earn a living in a safe country and have the ability to make more if I want.
I get to pay bills and be responsible, independent and a contributing person in my community.
I get to buy food in abundance, in an air-conditioned store and anytime I want.
I get to have conversations that grow me and that grow my relationships.
I get to have the time and ability to take care of myself and the luxury to pay attention to how I present myself.
I get to wake up early and see the sun rising and get a head start on the day.
I get to do things that are hard and uncomfortable and become stronger and more sound minded because of it.
I get to enjoy the fresh air with an animal that brings me joy and helps me stay present.
“I choose peace, not pressure” is a confidence mantra I use in my coaching practice, specifically when working to help people break free from the pressures of perfectionism, performance or impostor syndrome.
Understand the cycle of shame. Shame drives self-sabotage, which aggravates even more shame, shadows, and stagnancy.
Choosing to walk in peace is the start of all things new.
I pressured myself my whole life, and as a result, I kept spinning my wheels.
I let the pressure of feeling guilty invade my thoughts.
The more pressure I put on myself, the more I tighten my seatbelt on the crazy train of the busy bus.
If you look around you, the world is filled with pressure – and stress – and not-enoughness – and comparison – and depression – and numbing – and anxiety – and scarcity – and it all goes back to pressure. There’s a breaking point when you have to look around and ask yourself if you want to be like the world or not like them. I sometimes call this kicking status quo to the curb, but coincidentally, this concept is also biblical, which, for me as a person of faith, means even more. God tells us to be in the world, but not of the world. I always took this to be a guideline for behavior and morality, but what if it is also a guideline for mindset, the pace of life and priorities?
If you still haven’t registered for my new FREE masterclass on confidence, you’re missing out. Get your free seat TODAY and make sure you aren’t making the 3 most common confidence mistakes – if you are it might be the reason you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed. And speaking of feeling guilt,y this class will help prioritize your confidence instead! I’ll teach you what the mistakes are, how to stop making them and how to get to the next level of confidence without stressing yourself out … and it’s all FREE. Grab your spot today at www.trishblackwell.com/freeclass
Finally, I have opened up an extra day of private coaching slots, and have expanded my coaching slots to take on two new clients. If you have been moved to tears or your life has been changed by listening to this show, then you have no idea what is in store for you when you work with me one-on-one. It’s okay to be nervous to meet with me, come on, you know me by now and you can be confident that I will make you feel right at home. My clients typically work with 2x/month, meeting via virtual video, and each session includes “action items,” or homework to be working on in between when we meet again so that you have customized and personalized support to really accelerate you to a new level of confidence. I work with clients for personal growth, for professional growth, for entrepreneurial growth, for faith growth and for everything else in between – you name it, if it needs confidence infused, my coaching will work for you in that area of your life. To find out more and to inquire as to whether or not working with me privately is a good fit for you, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you for your emails and your podcasts I look forward every week to your words of wisdom. They have honestly turned my thinking around. I would love to join your College of Confidence, but my problem is that when I’m in Australia the time differences are opposite and I find it difficult to be available at some times. When you were doing your Facebook live in January I was actually driving a truck and I was so worried I wouldn’t have enough service to log in, but God willing I did so I stopped and listened. I travel to the US very often as I’m actually a new and proud permanent resident. My husband and I are working on being over there more but it is hard being in the position we are in. But we are working on it. If you can help that would be great… but I feel like I would miss out on a lot of important messages.
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