This week on The Confidence Podcast, we’re chatting about:
thanks, Trish 🙂
I randomly found this podcast while struggling with the public speaking portion of my job. Trish has been very helpful professionally and personally … insightful, and worth a listen if you’re looking for something but not sure what. She helps me compartmentalize my thoughts and have tools that help me with self-love and forward progress in my life.
You have a relationship with everything and everyone.
the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
In a 2010 review of 148 studies, researchers found that social relationships improve lifespans. People in healthy long-term relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely than people without them.
Familial, friendship, amorous, neighborly, acquaintances
We were created for connection.
Connection demands communication.
(Communication is the key to life – Tim Kelley, Davidson College)
A sense of safety
A support network
A feeling of purpose
Healthier and more balanced emotions
Healthy relationships bring compassion to that relationship space, which helps us regulate our emotions, calm our primal alarm systems and promote longer periods of health.
In healthy relationships, people learn that they can safely manage worries, fears, hopes and dreams. This capacity builds intimacy, closeness, and a sense of security that has a far-reaching impact.
(from Pro Psych Central)
Good relationships appear to protect our brains. “Being in a securely attached relationship is protective in your 80s. Those people’s memories stay sharper longer,” says Dr. Waldinger (Harvard Review)
According to Blue Zones (Dan Buettner), optimize your face to face relationships to optimize your health and your longevity.
While diet, exercise, and overall health all seem like they’d be the best predictors of how long you’ll live, Julianne Holt-Lundstad at Brigham Young University found that the following are three important predictors of longevity:
The face-to-face interactions you have on a daily basis are one of the strongest predictors of how long you’ll live.
For the record – I used to be awful at relationships. I grew up in a family with constant fighting. I was homeschooled. I was a highly gifted athlete – which made me a loner. I had friends, but I didn’t have a lot of practice. Boarding school helped, but then I had toxic relationships. It’s never too late to get better at relationships … and we do so with an open heart, vulnerable spirit and a deep desire to connect to others and to allow ourselves to be known and loved.
Relationships are not “productive.”
I can’t check the box. I can’t earn them. I have to live them.
The biggest thing that breaks up relationships is keeping long accounts of small offenses.
The secret to strong relationships is short accounts.
Be determined to not let small offenses steal connection from you.
Some are toxic and weigh heavy on us, and others need to be revived and nurtured back to life.
Prioritize the ones you have that matter most
Put time into developing the ones that you want to create or to have
Put yourself out there and be the friendly, loving, active communicator
Create time to be together, not exist alongside one another
Engage in shared experiences and adventures
Forgive those who hurt you – the more you hold onto unforgiveness, the more of your life they steal from you.
Refuse to accept the role of a victim – you are victorious and in growth
What has always been does not have to always be
The way someone treated you in the past does not define you or label you
Some seasons of life bring out different seasons of friends
Give thanks – for all things
Be deliberate with your time.
Get generous with your words and actions.
The College of Confidence is your simple way to confidently show up in your life with more courage. Create authentic traction towards your goals, silence the self-doubt that is keeping you back, and to tap into your purpose so you can make the difference in this world that God created you to make with our cancel-at-anytime membership. This is faith-based life-coaching in a personalized, supportive and affordable way.
Build your confidence in the truth that you are “enough” and are “doing enough.” The College of Confidence will help you manage your mindset and to step into the potential that God created you to live out.
I truly believe that by joining The College of Confidence, your life will be better. That’s why I unapologetically invite you each and every week to join us. Trust me, there’s a reason I believe in what we are doing together as a community. Don’t you think it might be time for you to check it out for yourself?
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I am not sure if you will see this or not, but I was wondering if you have done or could do an episode about confidence in relationships? I find that is something I have a lot of trouble with. I doubt myself, I think that the person I am with is out of my league or that they are going to lose interest in me, even though they have done nothing to make me think this, I know it is all in my head. Perhaps you have tips on how to stop these thoughts from occurring?
Thanks so much!