Podcast #301:

33 PRACTICAL WAYS TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU

In this episode of The Confidence Podcast  we are talking about:

• How I’ve struggled with worrying what people think about me in my past (and how I’ve learned to move past it)
• Sign to help you know if you struggle with this
• 33 practical ways to stop worrying about what people think of you

SPONSORSHIP

This podcast is sponsored today by my online membership, The College of Confidence, the one-stop membership site for increasing confidence. Enrollment and access has been closed for months, but we are now opening the doors and inviting you to join us for the most affordable and engaging coaching services around. Join us for as low as $20 and get the coaching you need to equip you with confidence as you pursue your calling.  Find out more and get started at www.collegeofconfidence.com

And of course, y’all know I love me some Beautycounter. If you’re into clean eating and tidying up your life, then adding clean beauty is going to be your jam. Go shop and see why I love it so much at beautycounter.com/trishblackwell 

REVIEW OF THE WEEK: 

Mrs. ZQD 

I started listening to Trish’s podcast after going through a really tough time in my life, mentally. Trish’s podcast along with her book have allowed me to work through that in a possible way. I love the different tips, and “homework” she gives you. This par helps the most because you get to journal about your feelings and really think about what you really do want in life. I also LOVE how it is all connected to God. Trish makes you feel comfortable and she doesn’t make you feel alone, she is in this with you! I definitely recommend giving it a listen, you won’t regret it!

HOW I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH THIS IN MY PAST

• The first time I heard “I beat Trish Blackwell” in the locker room – I realized people talked about me behind my back
• I wanted people to think I was special – a superstar in swimming; I wanted to be someone people talked about positively
• Friendships; being an elite athlete, and also homeschooled made me different, I was desperate to fit in and have people like me so I turned into a huge people pleaser.
• High school; I was the poorest kid in a prestigious boarding school. I relied on kindness and my social leadership skills to be a “social floater” and it worked – everyone “liked” me, but it all felt superficial and I spent enormous amounts of energy managing these relationships, and more importantly, my image.
• College; wanting to be cool and to be the perfect balance of a Division I student-athlete sorority perfect student with both party friends and Christian friends.
• Scholarship pressure; fear of not deserving it, impostor syndrome, pressure to perform, worry that people would think I didn’t deserve it.
• Adulthood; dating the wrong men because I wanted status (models, pro athletes), and compromising my values in the process. Partying and acting out someone I wasn’t in order to have the respect of cool adults – I wanted the status and image that I was carefree and successful.
• Body Image; thinking that if I had a perfect body – in high school, college and also as a trainer in my career – that then people would think higher of me or have more respect for me, and for the times (which was most of the time) when I felt like I failed living up to that image, I want to hide from the world and felt like a failure.
• Hair; my natural insecurity with hair (stemming from a moment I was too sensitive with something my mom said) – fear that I am not pretty and that people are judging me by my hair.
• Business and my first book / building my brand; putting yourself out vulnerably is terrifying, but in order to help people and serve the audience I felt God was calling me to serve, I knew I had to get over my fear of what people where going to think. I had to focus on who I was helping and put blinders on to the rest.
• Comparison in general – we can always find people who are “doing better” in our perception; needing to remind myself to stay in my own lane, run my own race, focus on my own joy and happiness, and grow deeper in my relationship with God so that I can listen to where He is leading me. 
• My faith 

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH THIS

You’re afraid to say what you think or feel

You agree to too many things because you don’t want to let people down

You worry that people are upset with you, when they probably aren’t.

You avoid people because you think they might not like you

You find it hard to make decisions

PRACTICAL WAYS TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT

1. Focus on being in the moment
2. Acknowledge that you take things too personally 
3. Practice love and self-acceptance 
4. Control what you can, let go of what you can’t 
5. Realize that everyone struggles – we all are socially sensitive 
6. Find a great group of people, allow yourself to practice vulnerability 
7. Stop trying to please everyone 
8. Know that life is too short 
9. Validate yourself
10. Live a life that draws your heart in according to how God made you 
11. Remember that hurt people hurt people 
12. Trust God to deal with what worries you 
13. New mantra: what other people think of me is not my business
14. Understand how this is holding you back and what it is stealing from you
15. Direct your energy to something positive, use gratitude
16. Reframe comments that hurt – the negative things people say are more about them than they are about you
17. Truth: most people aren’t thinking about you anyway 
18. Learn how to be true to yourself and listen to yourself 
19. Get focused on the one life you have – don’t miss out on an opportunity you want, because we don’t get do-overs
20. Accept the worry and reframe it
21. Get comfortable not knowing what people think (embrace the unknown) 
22. Play around and be a little weird 
23. Practice referring to yourself (does it spark joy, what do you think?)
24. Do something to love on yourself and take care of yourself
25. Forgive yourself for being human
26. Question whether it truly matters or not what they think 
27. Eleanor Roosevelt it (face fear and inferiority only comes from your consent) 
28. Know the numbers – there are 7 billion people in this world 
29. Think about the worst case scenario and dispel the fear 
30. Detox your life from all sources of negativity 
31. Identify who you trust and build your circle of genius 
32. Remember, the right people will love you for who you are
33. Get deeper with God.

SPONSORSHIP BREAK

I have to come clean with you all. One thing I would never talk about publicly, because I worried about what people thought of me, was the personal parts of my health care. I’m over that, which is why I wanted to tell you about my newest obsession, the 100% natural brand, LOLA.  LOLA is a female-founded company offering a line of organic cotton tampons, pads, liners and all-natural cleansing wipes.No toxins, mystery fibers, or doubts about what’s going in your body. LOLA products are all gynecologist-approved and hypoallergenic. Major brands use a mix of synthetic ingredients in their products including rayon and polyester.

Their feminine care products may also be treated with harsh chemical cleansing agents, fragrance, and dyes; I can’t believe I used such harsh chemicals inside my body for so many years, and I am so glad I have found an alternative solution. Plus, LOLA products come in a simple, customizable subscription. LOLA will deliver exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. I personally love how my monthly supply is delivered right to my door, in beautiful, clean packaging, might I add, which makes life as a busy mompreneur just a little bit easier for me.

For 40% off all subscriptions, visit mylola.com and enter <CONFIDENCE> when you subscribe!

LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:

I absolutely love this podcast. I been following you for almost 6 months now. Your podcast gives me reassurance that I can have the life I was destine to. Your podcasts has given me the courage to start my blog and other things I want to do to live a healthier happier and confident life. Keep inspiring us. smooches

Cheryl A Miller