HOW TO OVERCOME FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY
In this episode of#TheConfidencePodcast we are chatting about:
- What inadequacy feels like and how to identify whether or not it’s holding you back in life and in happiness
- How to detox your specific feelings of inadequacy
- 5 proactive ways to wire your brain for confidence / to wire against inadequacy
As always, a quick hello to all of my Keep the Faith listeners, thanks for being a part of this extended community of contagious encouragement.
I am proud to bring this podcast to you in part thanks to my partnership with Beautycounter. Beautycounter is more than just a company I believe in, it is the only company I trust fully for myself and my family. Beautycounter has brought a new level of health to my household, reduced our toxic exposure, and increased my self-care routine and how beautiful and clean my skin is. I can honestly say that I feel more beautifully me, thanks to Beautycounter.
Oh, and we are more than just a beauty company. We are a movement. We are on a mission to get safer products into the hands of everyone. We work because we can’t stand by idly as harmful chemicals cause our loved ones to get sick, struggle with fertility, and give birth to children with significant health issues. We work towards cleaner beauty everywhere because this is personal to all of us.
Shop for your own Beautycounter collection at www.beautycounter.com/trishblackwell
WHAT IS INADEQUACY AND WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?
-An inability to deal with a situation or with life
-Being deficient or lacking
-You can feel this socially, sexually, physically, emotionally, professionally
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE BEING IMPACTED NEGATIVELY BY IT?
-Causes resistance or procrastination
-Causes small thinking
-Causes increased comparison and decreased satisfaction
IDENTIFY YOUR THOUGHT PATTERNS + TAKE ACTION
-Pay attention to the thoughts that make you feel “less than” and then start a list
-You have to know your specific feelings in order to detox them properly
-If you don’t know what you’re battling, you’ll fight the wrong enemy (I just need to be more disciplined vs. I am doing well and will continue to do well)
-Know that inadequacy often stems from all-or-nothing thinking or extreme thinking
5 PROACTIVE WAYS TO WIRE YOUR BRAIN FOR CONFIDENCE
- Structure your day around a “power thought.”
- Simplify your expectations by clarifying your “why” and your desired outcome in a situation.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Saturate your day with “wins”
- Slow down
Comparison is a fast-track to unhappiness and inadequacy.
SAMPLES OF POWER THOUGHTS TO FIGHT AGAINST INADEQUACY:
I am doing better than I think I am.
I am making progress, and progress begets more progress, so I will celebrate my forward momentum rather than focus on where I wish I were instead.
I choose to be present and grateful.
I will win the day.
I am strong.
I will tap into my personal power today.
I am more capable than I think I am.
I have come beautifully far and I am not intimidated by how far I have yet to go.
God made me and that makes me who I need to be. I am qualified by Him.
God loves me and that makes me adequate, even if I don’t feel or understand it.
I have purpose.
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
Hi Trish – I hope you’re doing well. A friend of mine told me about your podcasts months ago. It’s so phenomenal, I don’t want to miss a single word and started from the beginning. I’m on #76 but being so behind, I’m afraid I’m missing current event info. I’m also following on fb when I can but have a toddler, so I know you know how busy life can be. So was wondering if you’re planning any public appearances or talks anywhere soon? Thank you for your time. You are an amazing person and I thank you for making such a positive encouraging difference in my life! 🙂
Let’s chat briefly about being an overachiever or perfectionist … because I want you to know that those two things will severely handicap you as you pursue living beautifully.
If you don’t know exactly what you want in life you will spend all of your time spinning in circles, stressing out over how to “be successful.” Success is easier to achieve than we make it out to be. If you’re an overachiever, this probably resonates with you; it’s hard to know what’s “enough” when you have convinced yourself that you just need to “do a little more,” “be a little better,” or “just be a little skinnier.” These are all finish lines that keep moving and will always keep moving. I used to be obsessed with trying to be “successful” according to society’s standards, and the more I checked the boxes of what I thought I was supposed to do and of who I was supposed to be, the less satisfied and more stressed I felt. The more I chased the moving finish line, the more the finish line moved and the more empty I felt. I decided to take the reigns back in my life – and I started that process by deciding for myself what “success” means for me.
Do you have a definition of success for yourself?
Or are you chasing success without really knowing what you want?
If you don’t know exactly what you want and how you want to feel, I encourage you to spend some time journaling, mediating and praying over what it is that you really want in life, and, more specifically, how you will determine each day if that day was successful or not.
You see, my life became about 1000x more beautiful when I stopped hyper-focusing on the “finish line” of what I wanted to accomplish and instead starting micro-focusing on what I wanted to feel and how I wanted my day-to-day lifestyle to be. For me, “success” is lightness. It is joy in my heart. It is the art of living beautifully and confidently. It is having margin and time with people. It is being present. It is challenging myself and learning something every day. It is growth. It is being able to live intentionally in love and to walk it out daily, without giving into stress, negativity or small thinking. For me, “success” is to really live.
You have to believe that who you are and what you do matters, because it does. Your success – whatever that definition is for you – matters.
Onward, my friend. I believe in you and I’m here to cheer you on!
BTW – If the topic of knowing that you’re successful resonates with you, I’ve got eight coaching videos ready for you, specifically on this subject that we’ve just posted in The College of Confidence and they’ll be ready for you to access as soon as you grab yourself a spot > www.trishblackwell.com/college … did you know that The College is a on-demand resource that has hundreds of coaching videos for you in our coaching library – and the ability to connect with me personally to help you with clarity and courage as you apply what you learn?