In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we’re chatting about:
Also – I have a new free video series, a #QuickConfidenceBoost I put together to celebrate this awesome community milestone together! Grab the videos now and start your #QuickConfidenceBoost! Grab your #QuickConfidenceBoost at www.trishblackwell.com/quickconfidenceboost
As always, a quick hello to all of my Keep the Faith listeners, thanks for being a part of this extended community of contagious encouragement.
-client clarity and vision; know what matters
-batching work and being smart about productivity
-champagne moments to drive higher focus and engagement
-identify why your drive for being busy is there
(for me is was anxiety over being “enough” so I made up for it by doing more; I had a lack of surety in worth so I substituted that lack with performance
-avoidance of addressing whole-heartedly what really matters (fear of failure or disappointment)
-Be clear about what matters to you
-Noticing details that drive up the quality of your life – quality time triggers memory creation which are tied to a feeling of being connected, loved, understood and confident.
STOP LIVING FRIDAY TO FRIDAY – IT”S EQUIVALENT OF LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK
Check out the blog post that spills it all: www.trishblackwell.com/doless
We live out the experience of our choices, and so if you aren’t happy with how you are living, then it’s time to take a serious look at the choices you are making or have made to get you to where you are.
If you want to change your life, change your choices.
Make the choice to prioritize what matters to you.
Make the choice to thrive, instead of survive.
Make the choice to believe in abundance.
Make the choice to see beauty and opportunity instead of stress.
Make the choice to build in more margarin.
Make the choice to have time for kindness and connection.
Make the choice to say “no” to stress and busyness.
When we try to do it all we end up missing out on it all. Doing it all distracts us from what really matters in life. It warps our understanding of our self-worth. It creates a baseline of internal anxiety as we live in incongruence – working hard to show others that we are “keeping it all together ” with ease, when really we are overextended, emotionally depleted and flat out exhausted from relentlessly spinning our wheels and putting on our show.
Let’s slow down.
Let’s do less.
Let’s separate “success” and “worth” from productivity and busyness.
Let’s connect more.
Let’s do things we love and that bring us joy.
Let’s stop comparing.
Let’s start believing in living “beautifully”.
Let’s be more kind.
I want to walk alongside you as you take the leap of faith that “less is more” and as you learn to step out of the busyness of surviving so that you can step into the beautiful flow of thriving. You don’t need to “do it all” in order to reach your goals and live the life of your dreams, trust me. You have all of the tools you need and the courage within you to thrive and excel – you just have to slow down and believe in yourself to let them shine. I want to help you believe in yourself and in your ability to live differently; come join me as as member of The College of Confidence and together we will identify the tools and strategies you need to absolutely thrive. Take the stress and pressure off yourself and come enroll today for just $1 >> > www.trishblackwell.com/college
I listened to your show this morning about mantras, and as out of my comfort zone as this is, I felt moved to share mine: My clients do not need me to be busy; my clients need me to be whole.
Let me explain how I got there. My boss had just told me that I had forgotten to do a routine task. To most people, that would be no big deal, but to me, I had missed the mark of perfection and I was crushed. I was caught in a cycle of striving for perfection, inevitably missing the mark, beating myself up for it and hiding in a paralysis of fear from my boss who might just, as she did that day, graciously (though I could not then see it as such) remind me of something that needed to be done that I had overlooked. I sat in my car in the parking lot, typed in the word “confidence” into a podcast search, and your podcast came up. I was doubtful because what if it was really self-helpy and what if clicking play was a sign of weakness? By God’s grace, I clicked play anyways, and I heard you say that some people tried to be busy and productive and accomplished as if in doing so they could prove their worth to themselves and to others. I was some people. It hit me so hard that I knew I would keep coming back.
I am a foster care caseworker in my early twenties. The job that I have is one that daily humbles perfectionists (or to use the term I now borrow from you- recovering perfectionists) because the workload is simply too much to do at 100% all of the time. I often feel that I am undeserving and underprepared to be in the places and spaces that this job leads me into. I am learning that my job requires me to prioritize some things and let others go undone. I have only listened to your show for a month, but I am already seeing a change in how I go about this prioritization. Instead of spending my morning commute as I usually would- listening to voicemails, beginning endless phone calls, forming looming to-do lists in my mind, I allow myself the half hour to listen to your podcast and to breathe. The only task to-do list I have is to prioritize the tasks that will set me up to go through my day governed by love instead by fear.
I have found that this sacred time in my morning is not wasted, but only makes me a better able to serve the families I work with, because I am more effective when I am whole. I know, but am learning the importance of telling myself daily, that I am good at what I do. I know that I engage with parents that the world scorns without judgment and motivate change and empowerment within them. I know that I am new, but I am learning quickly, and my newness to the field is not a reason to remain quiet, but a reason to use my unique voice to speak into a field that is too often silenced by an oppressive status quo. I have a fresh perspective, and a story that equips me, not disqualifies me. I have such a true love for what I do that allows me to affirm that I am underpaid and overworked in the midst of a broken child welfare system, but I am right where I need to be because I have the privilege to meet people in very dark places and try to shine a little light. Thank you for reminding me that my light, as imperfect and sometimes dim as it is, is needed in this world.
This is beautiful! Your mantra rocks and it’s so on point – your clients don’t need you to be busy, they need you to be whole! 100%, thanks for sharing your breakthrough with me. I’m so glad that you searched for the word “confidence” in the podcast archives … I literally pray that God will bring the right people to the podcast at the right time and it looks like that is just exactly what happened!
What a gift you are to the child welfare system – it is a broken and dark system but my goodness, what a light you have the power to bring to it. Every small interaction and role you play matters tremendously, and you’re right, the people who you cross paths with need you to be as whole as possible, so please continue to prioritize your self-care, take the pressure off yourself and off your to-do list and be proud of yourself for the impact you are making in the lives of others!
I’m honored to call you a member of the #bemoremovement!