DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT
In this week’s Confidence on the Go we’re going to be chatting about:
- Dealing with disappointment – how to process it and power ahead because of it
- Four positive steps to process and deal with disappointment
- Preparing yourself to lean into disappointment rather than lean away from it
Also – I have a new free video series, a #QuickConfidenceBoost I put together to celebrate this awesome community milestone together! Grab the videos now and start your #QuickConfidenceBoost! Grab your #QuickConfidenceBoost at www.trishblackwell.com/quickconfidenceboost
As always, a quick hello to all of my Keep the Faith listeners, thanks for being a part of this extended community of contagious encouragement.
I am proud to be an educator and consultant for Beautycounter, a B-Corp company on a mission to get safer products into the hands of everyone. The lack of regulation in the personal care and cosmetic industry is astounding and it is harming our health in very serious ways. We need more voices to join up on our mission. If you want to put your passion to purpose while being generously compensated, then I would love to start a conversation with you about what it means to be involved in the #saferbeauty tribe that is Beautycounter. Join the movement of #betterbeauty and message me via email to make your voice really resonate for a cause. Shop for your own Beautycounter collection at www.beautycounter.com/trishblackwell
DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENTS
Most recently, a publishing agent who said my “writing voice” wasn’t the “right fit”.
In my past, my disappointments are varied, and sometimes self-created feelings of being overlooked:
>Not making the Olympics
>Not having the perfect body
>Not being a sports model
>Not having a photographic memory
>Not meeting my husband in college like I envisioned
>Not eating perfeftly
>Not having my first book be a wild success
>Not being invited to an event
>Not being asked to speak at a conference or on a podcast show
>Not having the perfect family or perfect parents
>Not having a client reach their dreams
>Not having a marketing launch go as planned
>Not always feeling at my fullest energy level while pregnant
>Not being as successful as ___________.
>Not being able to change someone
Disappointments are simply life experiences that can be reframed.
PROCESS IT & POWER AHEAD WITH IT
Understand what it is about the disappointment that you feel that is so jarring to you – what does it make you feel sensitive, vulnerable or exposed? Process these feelings, and then power through to more action and know that in every disappointment lies a compensation and a lesson on something – whether patience, perseverance, timing or depersonalization.
If you decide that you will use your disappointments to power ahead instead of cower behind, then you have mastered the art of getting value out of disappointment.
QUOTES ON DISAPPOINTMENT:
We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain or regret or disappointment. –Jim Rohn
The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trail with humility. –Thomas S Monson
If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. –Henry David Thoreau
FIVE STEPS TO PROCESS DISAPPOINTMENT:
- Dial in and be still.
Manage your emotions, increase your self-awareness, write and figure out exactly what the deeper fear is that is hiding and lurking in your disappointed feelings. Is it rejection? Is it fear of not measuring up? It is frustration?
- Depersonalize the disappointment.
Remember that everyone in the world experiences the emotions of disappointment, even children. When you learn to not panic in feeling disappointment, you will be open to look more objectively at the situation and understand potential possibilities from multiple perspectives, helping you see that the disappointment really might not be something to take personally or internalize.
- Define expectations.
Go back to your core values and to why you care about that thing you are disappointed about in the first place. Define your expectations of putting yourself out there in life and remind yourself that pursuing a full version of yourself and of life does not come without mountains to climb or setbacks to readjust. The process is often the greatest teacher in life, and so expect to learn from a disappointment – and remember to think with an abundance mindset, since most of our disappointments are based off one or two people’s opinions, think about how many billions of people are in the world who might have had a different opinion.
- Dig deep and try again.
The most important thing to do when disappointed is to realize that disappointment is a reflection that you care. Caring and being engaged with your full heart in life is a gift and a beautiful thing. Let yourself feel and then let that feeling leverage your success forward. Dig deep and go try again at whatever it was – because what you are doing and pursuing obviously matters to you. Disappointments and derailments are not failures or disqualifiers – they are motivators and accelerators.
LEAN INTO IT, NOT OUT FROM IT
Disappointments are a sign that you are doing something that matters – that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone in life and are pushing the envelope.
Too often people lean out from the possibility of disappointment – of disappointing themselves or others, or of being disappointed about life – that they prefer to play it safe and not do anything at all. There is no justification in playing it small or safe in life to save yourself the potential disappointment when you realize that disappointment is simply part of life – you will either be disappointed to live a half-lived life or you will live a full life with a few disappointments along the way. Avoiding disappointment is not protecting you…it is actually harming you.
Lean into disappointment by using the steps outlined above and by not letting it define you. It’s okay to grieve a disappointment, but set a timeline and limit on yourself to do so. By learning to deal with disappointment, you can leverage it for your own good.
COLLEGE OF CONFIDENCE
We are waiting for you: www.trishblackwell.com/college
It can be tough, choosing to make an investment in yourself, which is why I am reaching out to share something I think you will want to hear. I get a lot of questions about The College of Confidence, but the main question I get is: Will it work for me?
The quick answer? Yes.
A more extensive answer? If any of the following desires are desires of your heart, then yes, The College of Confidence is for you. The College of Confidence is an on-demand, high-level coaching membership that will expose you to monthly training and support worth over $1,000/month for a mere fraction of that cost, just $47, or about $1.50 per day.
It’ll work for you if …
You want your business to be more successful.
You want to feel better about your body and the skin you’re in.
You want to write a book.
You want to have better relationships in life.
You want to speak more confidently.
You want to stop self-sabotage and limited thinking.
You want to create more financial freedom.
You want to believe in yourself.
You want to make a difference in this world.
You want to overcome procrastination.
You want to get off the hamster wheel of perfectionism.
You want to break toxic relationships in your life.
You want to create the lifestyle of your dreams.
You want to stop feeling so overcome by busyness and stress.
You want to be the best version of you.
In my opinion, you can’t afford not to participate in The College of Confidence. We are wired to need coaches and a community that believes in us and invests in us and there is no better solution that provides both at the cost of just $1.50 per day than The College of Confidence. And, if you’re still wondering if it’s for you and if it’s worth it – ask yourself if your happiness and your ability to confidently and courageously follow your dreams is worth $1.50 / day to you. I think so!
Get yourself surrounded with support and strategy – run towards the life of your dreams and let me have the honor of cheering you on and celebrating you along the way! Register today, without delay, at www.trishblackwell.com/college
I can’t wait to see you on the inside!
PS > The number two question I get the most about The College of Confidence is: Will I have enough time to get the most out of it? And to that, I say, yes! The beautiful thing about The College of Confidence is that it is high-level coaching “on-demand,” meaning that you can tune in and take part at whatever time best suits you. There are live coaching and interaction opportunities, but if that doesn’t work with your schedule, or if you have a busy week, not to worry, you can catch the replay when the time is right for you. This coaching is structured for every schedule and every need, so join today and let’s build greatness together, register now at www.trishblackwell.com/college
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
I am a 24 year old grad student at the University of San Diego. I am getting my Masters in Education and my elementary teaching credential, and will be able to be a teacher this upcoming school year. I am so excited! This has been a stressful year, which made it the most perfect year to discover your podcast. I just wanted to contact you to say THANK YOU for everything that you share with the world. I listen to your podcast when I go for walks and when I am doing homework. Every time I listen, I can’t believe how similar we are. Just like you, I consider myself someone who wants to (and can) change the world and someone who always knows that there is an awesome life out there if you ask for it and go for it. Listening to you speak makes me feel motivated and like I can relate to someone who is a dreamer like me.
Summer Wineteer (San Diego, CA)